GH: Night Shift Episode 8 - "Employee of the Month"

The planets must be realigned or whatever it is that was wrong with me last week must have been fixed because I thought this week's episode of Night Shift sucked, royally. Pacing, dialogue, acting, it was all off. This is so disappointing because of how promising the last few episodes had been. I honestly wouldn't mind if the show stopped airing today and I never saw the remaining episodes. Television shows are supposed to offer you an escape from the crapiness of everyday life. If my life sucks, why would I want to escape to a crappy fictional world?

Let's start at the top with perhaps the biggest WTF? moment in television history. After several weeks, we FINALLY discover Maxie is indeed still alive. As Leyla and Jolene exit her room, I think I heard Leyla mumble something about Maxie being in defib for 20 minutes. I am no medical professional, but if that's really an alright amount of time to be shocking someone, how can Patrick honestly say he did everything for Stacey last week when his resuscitation attempts took less than a minute? I'm just curious.

Turns out Maxie now has an abscess in her heart and Dr. Leo Julien owns 6 MP3 players loaded with nothing but playing the guitar how tos - odd to say the least. As devastating as this news may have been I was oh so pleased to see Georgie and Mac. After virtually disappearing from the GH canvas recently I was happy to see that they were in fact still alive and hadn't been pushed into the Port Charles harbor along with Lorenzo Alcazar and the GH execs simply decided not to tell me.

For some reason, Dr. Julien doesn't want to perform the operation so he tries to call Monica Quartermaine who's unavailable. Now this is just ridiculous because how is it that all these GH veterans who are actual doctors can't seem to appear on Night Shift? Wouldn't using the actors who are already on the payroll saved execs time wasted on casting? Then again, maybe Leslie Charleson knows what she's doing. Would you want your name associated with the crapfest that is this show?

Dr. Leo eventually agrees to do the surgery only to freeze up and subject the audience to another cheesy use of effects as he has visions of losing someone on the table. Now Maxie didn't die (I think), but her body was put through the ringer over the course of the evening as a sleepy Dr. Archer intubated her esophagus and a nurse "accidentally" gives her the wrong IV bag.

The mysterious figure who's been behind all of the random "accidents" in the hospital was revealed this week and it turns out it was ................................................. Jolene.

Yawn.

I wasn't surprised (come on, "Angel of Mercy"?) and I didn't really care, but I was disappointed. Why couldn't it have been Leyla? That girl has creepy written all over her face and I actually could have gotten behind watching the actress sink her teeth into a crazy, psychobitch storyline. Why must you take away all my fun Night Shift writers? Why?

So why is Jolene killing people you ask? You really care? :::sigh::: Alright well I'll fill you in on what was said.

Colonel Sanders makes his appearance at GH and terrorizes Dr. Ford, who was introduced by the scrawny lawyer dude as "acting Chief of Staff." Um, excuse me?!! When the hell did that happen and can I just say that that makes absolutely zero sense given that Monica Q is still around (she still is around isn't she?)? I would think she would be the prime candidate because I believe she was COF at one point and wouldn't her appointment to the position be a nice way to honor her husband's memory? Oh, that's right, nothing about this show makes sense. Moving along.........

Okay, Mr. Southern Medcam threatens to take over General Hospital and despite that he's about one bucket of chicken away from becoming KFC's newest spokesperson, I was willing to give the character a small chance, mostly because he seems to annoy Ford which always goes over well with me. He looked like he had potential with this little line:

Col. Sanders: "Where I'm from we call it being up to your neck in manure. Hah!"

But, by the end of the show, he was the latest person to be added to my list because it was revealed that he's been having Jolene setup these "accidents" so Medcam would have a reason to move in on General Hospital.

Col. Sanders: "Medcam appreciates your efforts. We are dedicated to quality patient care. Our mission is to put patients first. [There are?] so many institutions like this one, staffed with so called professionals who have gotten complacent, who have no accountability, who have lost sight of their purpose..."

Killing patients so you can take over a hospital and can declare yourself a winner in a contest of whose is bigger? Yeah, that's definitely all about what the patient needs. There's actually someone who I would trust my life with less than the professionals of GH. Who'd have thunk it? Some how I am constantly surprised at the ease of which the writers of this show can write such twisted characters. It really is disturbing.

Want to know something else that's disturbing? Having sex in a morgue next to a dead body. Yup. That's how Kelly decided to deal with her frustrations of being taunted by Pablo about the sexual assault suit and overhearing Leyla call her a nymphomaniac (who knew such a big word was in her vocabulary?).

Class -y.

I know you are all completely riveted by how amazing this show was ::cough::sarcasm::cough::, but I wanted to step back from the awesome drama and mention a little funny.

Spinelli was back to providing me with comical relief this week as he came to the hospital in hopes of getting a date with Jolene. Jason apparently had the night off, so Spinelli practiced his lines with Toussaint.

Spinelli: Sweet Angel of Mercy, I, I kneel before you, ha, naked ... metaphorically naked, with heart unguarded, um, to to propose, a date, a date, um, an, an an evening that will live on in memory. Uh, drinks, dinner, video games.
Toussaint: Video games?
Spinelli: Yeah, well I, I mean I want to impress the fair Jolene on our first official date. Maybe ,maybe I should say our, our only date. But she, she will be mine once she sees my prowess with a joystick. (laughter!)
Toussaint: The words should go through your brain before they go through your mouth.

Word.

After the former singer turned nighttime janitor finished listening to Spinelli, he dealt with a stalker in the form of Epiphany. Sorry, but she was creeping me out just a tiny bit. She spent the entire night trying to give Toussaint a present which turned out to be a employee of the month plaque. Hm, just like the episode's title. Wow, are these people smart or what?

Something I did enjoy watching this week (shocker I know) was Epiphany's son Stan pretending to be a doctor in order to help out with Lainey's ill father. Two glaring problems though:

1. When Mr. Winters shoved his daughter into the medicine cabinets, her fear looked completely fake. For some reason I thought Kent King was a better actress. Was I wrong?
2. Patrick being all "I don't know how to examine him because he won't sit still" was ridiculous. Ever heard of a sedative?

Apparently not because Lainey decided the only way her father could receive a checkup was if Stan pretended to be her ex-boyfriend, a doctor her father trusted who now lives in Seattle (hm..... I'm sure the writers just randomly picked that city and it has nothing to do with that other medical drama that is filmed on the lot next to them). It's no secret how I feel about Ford, but I was pretty much seeing red when he said Lainey should take her father to County for this "unnecessary procedure" and that his heart goes out to her. Then when Patrick attacks Ford he asks the neurosurgeon if he thinks he enjoys this, all while wearing what looks like a grin. If Richard Gant was trying to stifle a laugh during those scenes, the powers that be should have forked out the money to shoot another take because know the character looks like a sadistic jerk (not that that wasn't my opinion of him already).

I have a soft spot for Alzheimer storylines and that probably explains why I felt sad watching Mr. Winters' talk with Cody (he was at GH for bandages, but my guess is he did it himself so he could go in there and score some pills) even though Cody creeps me out.

Mr. Winters: You don't know what it's like.
Cody: A struggle that seems to have no end, no purpose.
Mr. Winters: Why fight that battle?
Cody: For the people you're charged to protect and defend.
Mr. Winters: When you can't anymore?
Cody: Let them, protect and defend you. Allow them that honor, sir.

And now we've come to the part of the program where it's time to discuss the stars of this show. Fair warning - this won't be pretty.

Apparently the powers that be want Robin to look like as much an ineffectual doctor as Patrick because the only times the audience see her is inside or nearby the nursery as the bandaged Barrett woman looked on. Yup, she's back and silent so no news there.

This week we were treated to more staring between Robin and Patrick as they danced around their issues. This really is getting ridiculous. This is not the 1920s and I did not sign up to watch a silent film. Heck, even those came with words.

When Patrick and Robin decided to use their words like grown ups, then ended up arguing again. To Patrick's chagrin, Robin decides to name the baby Anna and mentions wanting to adopt her which of course launches him into a fit about how Robin has an "irrational attachment" to the baby and that he's not sure if it's due to her "biological clock" or what, but she's become a "walking hormone." Isn't he quite the charmer? Be still my beating heart.

I'm not saying that Patrick doesn't have a point about Robin being too personally involved in Stacey's case or suddenly wanting to have kids so adamantly, but what I am saying is that I'm irritated by what he's not saying. He asked Robin if she knew that her choice wasn't only to going to affect her and what he really needs to say is "I'm scared to death of being a father. Can we step back and talk about this?" Instead of screaming and talking things out rationally with Robin he's pouting to Leyla who offers not only an ear, but a comforting hand, literally. Two actually. I'm not opposed to a friend comfortingly holding your hand or whatever, but it is blatantly obvious that Leyla wants Patrick and as a former playboy, he should recognize the signs. I am just annoyed that the powers that be decided to go the traditional route of adding a third party into the mix. I've always thought that Robin and Patrick were such unique characters that the typical third party triangle crap was unnecessary and I'm disappointed that all signs seem to be pointing in that direction.

Then we have Robin. No one is completely faultless here, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stick up for her. By the end of the show she had already signed a petition for adoption since Stacey's baby conveniently has no family. She must know that this is going to make things worse for her and Patrick. I just want some real discussion. Is that too much to ask for? Having a baby is pretty much a deal breaker and I just want to see them make up their minds before moving forward.

What's sad is that these storylines could have been really good if they had been given the amount of care and attention they deserved. I think what's even sadder is that after how awful this week was, I'll still tune in next week because I feel like now that I've started this journey, I have to see it through. One things for sure, there won't be a lack of things to complain about. Won't you come back and join me?