Baby Blues Part III

The way this storyline is going, this is probably going to become a weekly post.

Let me start off by saying that Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson rock my socks off. In the short time that Robin and Patrick were given today to digest the concept that Robin is pregnant, those actors said so much. The emotions were completely palatable. I found their scenes quite griping, I think because in recent soap breakups, the regret seems onesided (see JaSam/LnL2 debacle).

I was alright with the fact that Robin blurted out the news to Patrick because it's believable and it was so nice to see Patrick being loving and less of an ass. I was actually enjoying myself....
.....and then the peanut gallery walked in.

I get the added drama of an audience, but Kelly and the Stan fill in would have been sufficient. The writers think it's cute shoving all these Night Shit (that's what I said) characters down my throat and I have news for them, it's not. If I was considering watching that crap spin-off, this would totally turn me off to that idea. Patrick and Robin are two legacy characters that I care about with a once-in-a-lifetime story to tell, so why is that they (especially Robin) are getting shafted on airtime?

Even more than the lack of airtime, I hate, hate HATE that the writers decided Robin should lie. What would have been great was if Robin hadn't said anything and just let everybody assume that Patrick's explanation was the truth. Robin could have just been quiet or hell, she could have gotten called away (where's that darn pager when you need it?) before the audience arrived and Patrick could have given his wrong version of the story. Kelly could have filled Robin in later and she could have run with it without actually telling a lie.

I continue to be amazed at how dispointing this story has become.

Is it too late for a do-over?

Bang-up Makeovers

Whenever a soap actor gets a haircut, it seems like half the cast gets a new 'do. The recent trend among the women is bangs and I thought it was time for a shallow post.

Wow! Now that was a surprise. I was not expecting such a dramatic change, but I like it. Jane Elliot is totally rockin' that cut.

Also shocking was Megan Ward's new bangs.

They're not hideous, but I think they detract more than they enhance her already gorgeous hair.

Although these bangs aren't new, they did have a less than flattering experience last week.

I would look scared too Becky Herbst.

That's better.

The same hair stylist worked his/her magic on Kimberly McCullough's bangs...
... and then he/she was fired for doing something nice for the character of Robin and substandard beautician stepped in.

Really, guys? Please stop abusing Kimberly McCullough for being naturally adorable.

Caps provided by Clarissa.

Just Saying

I actually found there was more balance in the writing this week. Can’t be sure if it’s because sweeps are about to kick in or if it’s an effect of the strike, but there was definitely balance, at least that’s what I think it was. I haven’t seen it in so long, I think I may have forgotten what it looks like ……..
Anyways, I wasn’t engaged in any of the stories because I felt like they went nowhere. So, because of my boredom and hectic schedule, I bring you this week’s column, on speed:

STORYLINE: Text Message Killer

Alexis - Hooray she’s DA again (temporarily), but did she really have to get choked/threatened by the killer? I repeat STOP TARGETING ALEXIS!

Felicia/Mac - I was glad to see Mac finally get to have his say about Felicia bailing. Not so glad to see that Kristina Wagner still has that nervous face tic because it's really distracting.

Maxie/Coop - Okay, first off, totally knew Coop wasn‘t the killer. Secondly, give me a freakin’ break!!! That was such a waste of a perfectly good character. Oh and not only did Maxie have to once again find her boyfriend dead, but you brought back the dreaded beanie/hat/rag thingy?
That’s just cruel.

STORYLINE: Jake’s Paternity

Lucky/Sam- Lucky agreed to give him and Sam a try and took care of Elizabeth's kids while she was in the hospital. The whole “I’ll catch you” thing was totally cheesy, but he looked so adorable doing it that I will overlook it. In case you missed it, Greg Vaughan is my weakness.

Carly/Jax - Couldn’t they have sent Jax on his Hawaii trip prior to getting the recast? Carly is still getting on my nerves with the hypocrisy, but I’ll leave it at that because she made fun of Jason’s wardrobe:

Jason: You want to give me something for my birthday? Leave Elizabeth alone.
Carly: A new leather jacket would be more practical.
Jax: Yeah, and not to mention more lasting.

Jason earned some points for saying a few smart things this week as well:

Jason: Holding a gun does not make you a man.

Please, can you put that on little memos and pass it throughout the halls of the General Hospital set. Better yet, go to the prop room and carve it into all the guns. That way the message is sure to be seen.

Oh yes, and his Carly rant was golden:

Jason: I know you care, okay? I know you care -- it's not good how you show it! You come down on people with both feet because they're not doing what you want or what you think is best! You stand there, you judge, you get to judge again, nobody gets to say anything about what you do! What is this -- you're bored with Jax being gone again?
Carly: I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I just love you. I love you so much, and I want you to have everything. I want all of us to have everything. I want you, me, and Sonny to have it all, and something always gets in the way.
Jason: You're right, Carly. Sometimes that something is -- is you.

After hearing those words, I think I might possibly not completely and totally hate Jason Morgan.


STORYLINE: Mob War (take 6,386)

James/Jerry/Moreau/Name that the majority of our polled audience selected this week - If this new baddie is new, then why does it really matter if we don’t see his face?

Ric - I couldn’t believe he actually got scenes, but then I saw they were mostly flashbacks. Between his memories and Elizabeth’s dreams, you can totally tell there’s a writer’s strike going on.

Johnny/Lulu- The Johnny and Lulu romance continues to irk me because no one can seem to leave Lulu with a guy long enough for me to care. Slightly off topic, I thought the broody piano playing was kind of cute, but then I realized I don’t think he was really playing and I was simply amused.

Skate - After Kate presumably turned down Sonny’s proposal, he threw a tantrum by buying half of Bensonhurst and tearing it up. And we wonder why Michael’s such a brat. By the way, the whole kids buys a gun angle is creeping me out and I think he should be the next one voted off the island.

STORYLINE: The Hospital

Nikolas/Emily - Nikolas declared he doesn’t want an operation because he's afraid he‘ll lose Emily and Nadine keeps popping up for support, I guess. Honestly, I think they’re pushing the newbie too hard. Suddenly she’s all sad and toting around this locket like she's done it forever? I get that in soaps people work in pairs, but shouldn’t you wait until Emily’s gone? I mean, I know she’s gone, but she’s not gone gone. Can’t they wait until her astral projection or hallucination form or whatever she is today has left?

Monica - Are we actually going somewhere with the drinking bit? If so, color me shocked that she's getting a story and annoyed that what they're giving her puts her in a negative light.

Patrick/Robin - These two have always fought, but for months now it’s been petty and annoying and I now cringe every time they walk on the set. Great job ruining the last entertaining couple on this show. Oh and did Robin really just share her secret with Elizabeth of all people? And she’s going to lie to Patrick? Oh yes. This story is so original and so like Robin.

Dr. Devlin (aka the new doctor):

Really? That’s what you have for me? Couldn’t we have gotten someone cuter? And what's with the attitude? Is Dr. Patrick Drake part II really necessary? Pretty sure I’ve seen what you’ve done to the original and if that’s where this ride is headed, I think I’ll take a pass.

I’m just saying.

Thanks to Clarissa for the caps.

Baby Blues Part II

Leo: ....hey, it's good you had me run those HIV tests earlier after you spent the night with Robin. Now you can let her know you're not infected even though the condom broke and everything will be fine.
Patrick: Yeah, now that I know I'm not infected, I think it's better that I don't say anything. At least that way we don't have to have that awkward conversation about what happened that night, what it meant or didn't mean.

Um, are you trying to piss me off? You have the opportunity to tell this ground-breaking HIV pregnancy story and this is the way you do it? Wow.

So in case you missed it today, this little lockerroom convo was overheard by Robin who has decided to keep the pregnancy to herself now that she knows Patrick isn't infected. Give me a freakin' break!!! This is so wrong on so many levels!!!

1.) This never should have been an oops pregnancy.

2.) Patrick's a freaking doctor. He knows that if a condom broke there's a chance Robin could get pregnant. Uh, does he not think he should mention it to her since that would throw a wrench into her plans of going to a sperm bank?

3.) Robin would never not tell the father given her history with paternity issues. If the writers go this route, it's only so Carly can stick it to Robin and call her a hypocrite, you know, because the writers seem to think we enjoy watching the banshee tell everyone how horrible they are so she doesn't have to focus on what a wreck she is.

4.) Why the hell would take an already unique storyline and water it down by making it like every other pregnancy in the history of soaps? Paternity secrets are overdone and no one cares anymore. Not to mention how ridiculous it's going to sound if Robin tells Kelly and everyone else she hooked up with some random guy. Robin is not that type of character so who's going to believe her?

God!!! I can't..... I just.... I have no words. No words could ever possibly convey the magnitude of my disappointment. Way to go GH. Another dissatisfied customer.

More Crazy Days Casting Shakeups

Um, alright, so I wasn't pleased about Julie Pinson's dismissal, but what in the world are they thinking now? According to Soap Opera Network, both Martha Madison and Brandon Beemer have been fired.

Say what?

I thought their acting has actually improved and what really doesn't make sense to me is it doesn't sound like recasting, but getting rid of the characters, two legacy characters. Why do I think that? Because of the recent additions of Tamara Braun and Shirley Jones (yes, that is the Partridge family mom). When bringing in bigger names into a cast, it typically means other actors getting the boot. I think it's pretty clear that Shirley's just a sweeps stunt so getting rid of characters who have plenty of story ahead of them for a temporary character seems a little silly to me. I know Tams was pretty popular on General Hospital, but I would prefer to watch characters I grew up with and am invested in, instead of new character, no matter who's playing her.

Just Saying

This week GH once again tried to ripoff a ripoff of last year's hostage situation by having another hostage situation, but wait, it's new and improved! It's now in the hospital and the man is an out-of-work mechanic who doesn't have insurance, but is threatening to blow up the hospital if no one helps his pregnant wife.

Color me bored.



To recap, Joe Smith (Really? I mean I get that he's an average guy. Isn't the plain name a little over-the-top?) vacillated from calm, rational man to angry, I'm going to blow us up guy. Sam showed up (for no apparent reason) and helped calm Joe down and Jason suddenly appeared and saved the day by grabbing the bomb that wasn't really a bomb which he totally knew.


In another words, it was like every other "crisis" where Jason shows up and saves the day. You missed nothing. Actually, scratch that. This time was slightly different because veteran actors were involved and by involved, I mean Monica's character continued to go downhill. Not only could she not stitch up a leg, but she's now and alcoholic who hides flasks in the supply closet.



Luke would be so proud.



Speaking of the Spencers, Lucky got involved in this fiasco thanks to the major's vanity. He's in the hospital for injuries he sustained falling off a skateboard. When he discovers the hostage situation, instead of calling the police, he calls Scott and tells him to take care of the situation quietly, you know, because if this becomes a big deal, he'll look ridiculous.


Um, no. You look ridiculous because you're refusing to call a bomb squad and you sounded ridiculous when you came in asking for Patrick Drake who a) is a neurosurgeon and b) knocked you flat about a year ago. Would you really trust him to treat you after you publicly announced it was alright for his girlfriend to be collateral damage? Are you sure you didn't hit your head?


And coming back from my tangent......


Ah yes. Lucky. I have always been a fan of Mr. Spencer (minus the summer of '06 crap) and Greg Vaughan is definitely rockin' his scenes as of late. Is it just me, or does he look hotter than usual? Let's observe, for scientific purposes of course:


Lucky taking aim:
Hot.

Lucky concerned about endangering the lives of others:
Hot.


Lucky wearing scrubs:

Totally hot.


Lucky wearing scrubs while trying to rescue Elizabeth and Jake:
Still hot.

Elsewhere in the hospital, it was business as usual. I love how Robin totally dismissed the lockdown in the ER. Considering that she's basically been held hostage twice in the last year and was severely wounded during one of those instances, I thought she'd take the situation a little more seriously. Oh that's right. This isn't the real Robin. This is the psuedo-Robin from that crapfest of a spin-off who acts completely out of character all of the time. Got it.

Robin was in doctor mode this week and her main case was Nikolas. The dark prince came in for tests and because they can't find anything, Patrick decides they need to provoke Nikolas in order to get a blood sample while he's angry, but without his consent of course. Totally unethical, but we'll get to Patrick's lack of morals later. The viewers learned that Nik's violent outrages are back once he knocked Robin down and later punched Patrick, which he totally deserved and after Friday's episode I thought he really deserved it, but seriously, can someone not get the guys some fighting lessons? When he gets into a fight, he throws a punch and then whines about his hand. The rest of the time, he just straight up gets his ass kicked. I am embarrassed for him.


After some convincing, Nikolas admits himself and then has some conversations with Emily which I just find completely upsetting because SHE'S STILL DEAD. The brain tumor or whatever they decide is messing with the Cassadine prince this week is likely causing him to see things (i.e. Emily). In another words, if Nikolas wants to get better, he's probably going to have to give up his Emily visions. Love story my ass. This is just depressing.

Something else that's depressing is Robin's pregnancy. As I've already discussed, it's not so much that she's pregnant as much as it's the way she became pregnant. And what the hell was that Leyla crap? Where do I even begin? One, if she is so in love with Patrick, no way in hell could she just sleep with him with no strings. Number two, why the hell would Patrick sleep with her after what he learned earlier (i.e. Robin informed him that Leyla really fell hard for him). In his defense, I can understand why he doesn't get that part because I don't even find it believable. I think it might be the actress, but what I don't understand is, how difficult is it to pretend to be in love with Jason Thompson? I'm sure I could find a couple of people willing to take her place if need be.

Anyway, after Robin draws Patrick a picture, don't you think he would have the good sense to know he's going to hurt the nurse if he does sleep with her again? By the way, what the hell with all the tearing down of Patrick, people? I'm convinced that one of the execs got pissy that Patrick became a popular character once he stopped being an ass. So to punish the viewers for not being "trained" (you know who I'm talking about) the execs/writers are turning Patrick into another misogynistic asshole. Like we need more of those on soaps or in the world.

I don't care how many times you show me this:
Nothing will make the ridiculous regression of Patrick's character okay.

Thirdly, why would you, dear writers, have them hook up (God, just seeing it in print makes me want to vomit) when you know Robin is pregnant and Patrick could be infected? This sucks on all levels because a) this means Leyla will be involved even more with this storyline (because she'll have to wait for HIV tests) or b) the writers will once again dismiss these medical facts and spit in the face of a socially/medically relevant issue. Either way this blows.

Something else that pissed me off was the temporary Jax replacement. I loved that he called Carly out on her Jason worship, but why couldn't Ingo be the one to do it? I mean, the dude's had to deal with the various incarnations from the start and if someone's going to start handing out anti-Carly lines, I think he's earned the right to deliver them. Would it really have been that hard to schedule those scenes for when Ingo came back? I mean, was all that crap at Jake's with Jerry really necessary? The only reason I even remember those scenes is because of Tracy's fantastic line:

Tracy: When God created Eve, he should've quit while he was ahead.

Ha! If we could have kept that line and delivered it somewhere else minus all the fake Jax crap, I would have been happy, but we all know that's not allowed.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the worst line of the week which goes to Trevor hands down:

Trevor: Hmm. Surprise, surprise. You must be much better in bed than I thought you were.
Pardon me while I shudder in disgust. That is so not something any parent should ever, EVER say to their child. It's just wrong. Something else that's wrong, is if Ric Hearst is leaving the show, not that I would blame him. Ric stopped by to see Alexis (who is now hilariously chummy with Diane) to say goodbye the girls because he was leaving town to think. I love my Rexis scenes, but I am a little concerned with all the recent exits that this was yet another. Here's hoping this is simply a winter vacation.

Someone I could use a little less of is Lulu. This week she was still kidnapped and while I know it's difficult to stay fashionable when imprisoned in an old, dank castle, but what the hell is up with the side bun? Whoever is unleashing all this sideways hairstyles needs to stop. It's not trendy it's annoying and I demand that is cease. There are other ways of getting revenge on cast members that don't include permanently scarring the audience in the process.

Alright, once again Lulu needed rescuing and Logan, Spinelli and Johnny showed up to save the day. Johnny found an injured Lulu first and after some arguing she shoved the mobster who fell on top of an old sword. Then she says she's sorry. Dude, he's got a sword sticking out of his leg. I don't think "sorry" is going to cut it (pun accidentally intended). After that little disaster, the two of them stumble into an old closet full of rum. Then they proceed to get drunk and makeout because that's what you do when you're injured and trying to escape your captors. With plans like that, no wonder she's so easy to snatch.

Rounding out this week's column is Sonny and Kate.
I like the idea of a high school sweetheart and returning home because it's very relatable, but I feel like their conversation has been on a loop for months now. Maybe that will stop soon because at the end of the week Sonny proposed. I might have been more moved if they guy didn't change women as frequently as he changes his socks. I can imagine his thought process building up to this decision.

Hmm...it's January. Time to get married again. Carly's already married and there isn't enough time left in the month to get her divorced. I know. I'll ask the next woman who agrees to dinner with me. Sweet, it's Kate!

What? That's how it seemed to me. I'm just saying.

Thanks to laurieluvsliason for the caps.

Baby Blues

Robin Scorpio is finally pregnant and while I'm sure Scrubs fans everywhere are rejoicing, I, quite frankly, am all kinds of disappointed. Not to bring them down, but I was really hoping for something unique for this couple. Oops pregnancies are daytime staples (i.e. Lulu, Skye, Elizabeth) and switching it up would be a nice change. I understand accidents are more dramatic, but I think the powers-that-be severely underestimate the need for a different kind of drama.

I, for one, think it would be nice if someone had a planned pregnancy for once. I was really hoping Robin would be that one soap heroine that did things the traditional way, you know, find a boy, sex him up, get married and then plan a pregnancy. I think GH execs have proven that they are incapable of thinking outside the box, but I believed they would be forced out of said box given Robin's medical history.

Wrong again.

Robin and Patrick's love story has been unique because of it's pacing. It's been incredibly realistic which makes it relatable and enjoyable. I'm sure they'll end up together eventually, but now it's going to seem more like Patrick will step up (assuming he does) because he doesn't want to be like his father instead of he loves Robin and they came to the decision together about wanting a child. This way, he's thrust into fatherhood, but I think it could have been much more entertaining to watch him come to the realization on his own.

The other complaint I have is the exec's attention to the medical issues of this story. Okay, so if Robin's pregnant, that means the Patrick could be infected so it's HIV waiting game part two and let me tell you, the results of the first saga were a huge letdown. Secondly, I thought the odds of Robin getting pregnant accidentally were zero because of all the precautions they take. After telling me, the viewer, these facts repeatedly and then suddenly getting Robin pregnant without planning it, makes no sense. If the higherups chose to write the story so that Patrick and Robin didn't use protection because of her grief over Georgie or whatever, that will be so irresponsible and completely out of character for Robin. Then again, I don't think anyone could accuse the GH execs of always being responsible or always keeping people within character, so if the story does go this unfortunate route, I won't be surprised, but I will certainly be disgusted.

It's out of my hands now so I guess I should just call this GH disappointment #3,478 and try not to focus on all of the ways this could get worse.

Changing of the Guard

This week Sabine Singh and Rebecca Budig switched places in the role of Greenlee Smythe (as if you didn't get that message from the 5 gazillion ads ABC ran). By the way, what is AMC's deal with not leaving more time in between recasts? Soap fans frequently practice suspension of belief, why not help them out a little?

Alright, so where do I start? Well, I guess I can appreciate that the powers-that-be tried to soothe disapointed Ailee fans (version 1) with a love scene. I could say it's the thought that counts but good Lord was that awkward or what? "You had me at hello?" "It's called reiki...It's a Japanese term for 'universal energy' that promotes healing on -- on every level?" I mean what is that? And was anyone else completely thrown by this:

Greenlee: And what I said before about another woman, I --
Aidan: Hey, I'm sorry.
Greenlee: No.
Aidan: I overreacted.

Did they cut a scene? If so, couldn't we have saved this discussion for another day? What about a nice little conversation full of double meanings? Something along the lines of "I can't believe how wonderful the last few months have been...I can't imagine leaving you..." blah blah blah. Sometihng that's bittersweet because the actress is leaving and she could probably use that emotion to knock her final scenes out of the park. Sadly, this adieu just fell flat for me, but then again, considering what allegedly went on behind the scenes, I'd have a little trouble selling happy too.

One last note on Greenlee 2.0, I think Sabine Singh has done a good job with the role, especially considering the story she was given to work with:

Girl returns to hometown, tries to take back her ex; considers stealing her best friends child; wrecks car (that contains herself and said child) while correcting an earlier mistake; blamed for child's deafness; becomes town pariah who is set up by former best friend, best friend's mother and husband; goes to jail for a crime she didn't commit; falls into a bomb shelter with a man she hates while making a run for the Canadian border; suffers hunger, thirst, cold, falls, snake bite and claustrophobia while trapped in said shelter for a month; rescued by her boyfriend (who she doesn't know has slept with former best friend); learns she isn't the source of a child's deafness; is forgiven and forgives (too quickly for my taste) her attackers; relives one of her worst nightmares watching a woman fall off a cliff and it now looks like she's about to get sick again.

Yeah, I'm not sure 10 Emmy-winning actresses could spin that into gold.

So the verdict on the new...or old...depending on how you look at it...Greenlee is.........I'm not really sure yet. I wasn't overly impressed with her comeback, but to be fair, as of now, she hasn't been given any meaty material. Also, I'm so annoyed by the overexposure that I don't think I could give her a fair critique at the moment. I need a Greenlee detox. Do they have a rehab for that? I'm down for that as long it doesn't involve an impromptu visit from Dr. Phil...


**On a completely unrelated note, Kendall and Zach as Greek chorus at Tad and Krystal's party was totally amusing. Thank God for small favors I guess.**

Just Saying

Carly finally knows about Jake and I was glad to see her realize that maybe Jason doesn't trust her as much as she thinks. I know that sounds bitchy, but I feel like Carly's one of those women who has ALWAYS gotten her way.



Example#1: Carly exacted revenge on her mother for giving her up for adoption by sleeping with Bobbie's husband and then shooting him in open court, but her mother forgave her (can't say I would have done the same).

Example #2: Carly slept with Jason's best friend, Sonny, but both still tolerate her.

Example #3: Carly and Jax stole Nikolas' son and tried to pass him off as a Jacks and when the truth came out, no kidnapping charges were filed.

Example #4: Carly married Sonny and slept with him while still engaged to Jax, but Jax forgave Carly and married her anyway.

So no, I don't feel bad in the least that Carly feels betrayed by Jason. I think Sam spilling the beans to get revenge was a great soapy choice. What I don't like is that no one is pointing out Carly's hypocrisy. Actually, Sonny did for a moment and I was so grateful:

Carly: Do you think it was his idea to keep me in the dark about Jake being his son? I mean, the whole town knows.
Sonny: No, no, no, the whole world doesn't know. That's the point in not telling you. Because it's not your business. Excuse me.
Carly: Jason is my dearest friend, okay? I'm closer to him than anyone, including my husband.
Sonny: Doesn't that tell you something about your marriage?
Carly: Don't you think that Jason deserves the opportunity to love and raise his son just like any other father?
Sonny: Well, that's a self-serving argument, and not to mention, hypocritical, since you tried to take my kids away from me.
Carly: That was different.
Sonny: Well, of -- is -- of course you'd say that.


As great as this was, why can no specifically address the A.J. debacle? For those of you who may not know, Carly kept Michael from his real father and I'm sure at one point or another she said it was to protect the child. Fast forward to now, when Jason wants to keep Jake's paternity a secret to protect him, but Carly says no. According to her, Jason should be with Jake because he's his son. Gee, where was this wisdom years ago when A.J. was being hung from a meat hook? Because this is Carly, I'm sure this point will never be brought up, but just this once, I wouldn't mind being wrong.

Elizabeth was pretty pissed about Sam spilling the beans and the two of them went at it. Liz's bitch faces are convincing, but they're getting old. There are waaayyy too many bitchy women running around Port Charles and it's times like these that I really miss Georgie Jones.

An epidemic of misbehaving kids hit Port Charles this week and it was more than a little irritating. Kristina was pissy with Ric, Michael is turning into a minimobster and Cameron is now a little pyro. Camerons antics with matches, coupled with a broken doorknob, resulted in Liz locked outside of her burning home while Jake is trapped inside. Gee, I am so worried that Jake, Jason's son, won't be saved. As if.

Time for a little positivity: Greg Vaughan is kicking ass right now. This week he made a heartfelt declaration to Liz that he loves her kids and promises to do whatever he can to keep them safe, even though biologically, they aren't his. He also had a sincere talk with Sam about their future and about her changing her lifestyle. There was no yelling, just pure honesty, which is refreshing in itself, but Greg Vaughan's delivery and facial expressions were just spot on for me. I hope he continues to shine with this new material because I think it's going to take a lot of work to undo the crap these writers have put Luke Spencer's son through.

Speaking of the lovable scoundrel, he once again skipped town, but he wasn't alone. His companion was Skye, who, earlier in the week, bonded with Ric. Before we go any further, I have a question: Was the Ric/Skye bonding awkward because:

a) Ric came on to Skye in her old house
b) Ric came on to Skye in the same room where he did his ex-stepdaughter (barf)
c) Ric came on to Skye in his ex-wife's current house
d)All of the above

Skye decided she wanted out of the insanity that is Port Charles so she gave Ric Lorenzo's piers and said some quick goodbyes to the Q's on her way out of town. I'm glad that Edward was kind to her, but I am a little sad that Monica didn't say anything. I would have liked to have seen her make some peace with Skye before she left and I would like to have seen Lila Rae on screen once more, but oh well. I guess I'll just have to be thankful that Skye didn't leave in a body bad.

As much as I hate to see either character go, I was so pleased that Skye and Luke left Port Charles together, courtesy of a mini caper.
Of course, the departure was bittersweet:

Luke: I can't thank you enough for smuggling me out of that hellhole.
Skye: So, where are you going?
Luke: I don't know. That's the best part of the deal.
Skye: Yeah, well, I just got through telling Edward how lousy I am at goodbyes, so --
Luke: So am I. You were one sweet touch of class around here, Blaze.
Skye: Please, Luke, I was a distraction. I don't think you ever took me any more seriously than that.
Luke: Oh, you're wrong. I took you much more seriously than you know. It's just that you set a standard that I just couldn't reach.
Skye: Hmm.
Luke: You know you dance rings around people just by standing still. You think you'll ever come back?
Gerald: Excuse me.
Skye: Oh, yes. Um -- I know, it's almost time to pick up Lila Rae. I'll be right there, thank you.
Luke: I looked a lot better in that suit than he does, don't you think?
Skye: If Tracy’s not good to you, I may have to come back. Take care of yourself.
Luke: You, too.
Skye: See ya.
Luke: I hope so.

I will definitely miss the chemistry between these two.

Somewhere in backwoods Pennsylvania, Diane and Alexis offered some humor this week with their crazy road trip to their awards banquet. The two lawyers didn't quite make it to their event, but watching them get kicked off a plane, have numerous car troubles and then deal with the patrons of a biker bar was amusing. After accepting they weren't going to make the banquet, the women had their own celebration in a deserted bar. We learned some more about Diane's past and while I appreciate the fleshing out of a character, I'm annoyed that those characters getting the attention are dayplayers. Case in point: Epiphany.

She lost her son Stan and she's getting all this attention, including one visit from Monica who said she knows what it's like to lose a child.

So. Much. Wrong.

Number one, hooray for Monica being at the hospital, but it's crap that she was only given two lines. Number two, why the hell has her grief been all but dismissed? My guess is the only reason her and Edward were allowed to be at General Hospital this week was so that the powers-that-be could finish taking out the rest of the Quartermaines with the mechanic who's threatening to detonate a bomb so his uninsured wife can get treatment.

This storyline is ridiculous!

What is up with all the freakin' explosions on this show?? Let's see if we can put this guy to some use shall we? Alright, here's how it's going to go:

Monica and Edward have already gone home and all that's left are all those newbies so Mr. Crazy Mechanic Man can go ahead and blowup the hospital. It's sickening how much NightShift is infesting this show. I don't recognize any of the hospital personnel anymore and to make things worse, they've started using that God awful CGI during the daytime GH. So Joe, go ahead and blow the place up, just make sure you take all that Night Shift crap with you. If I wanted to see that junk, I'd watch it on that so-called soap channel.

Just saying.


Thanks to laurieluvsliason for caps.

Reaching An All-Time Low

Congratulations ABC. You've reached levels of classlessness that I previously thought unobtainable.

First there was the online announcement that the "real Greenlee" was returning, then there was an interview, a banner and an official countdown on the daytime homepage, then the commercials hit the airwaves followed by a countdown ad (because only having it online wasn't enough), followed by the announcement of a Soapnet special and now this:

Yes, that is an ad for the original Greenlee's return WHILE the current Greenlee is still on the screen. I'd look pretty pissed too. I mean, what were they thinking?

Yeah, I don't know either.

Oh, but it doesn't stop there. That obnoxious ad ran during General Hospital:

Talk about overkill.

I think it's safe to say that Operation: Make Sabine Singh Feel Like S^*! was a success. I don't even know her and I'm offended.

All I can say is I sincerely hope that saying "what goes around comes around" is true.

AMC is L-A-M-E Lame

All My Children has done a lot of strange things this week (Greenlee defending Erica and Hannah hooking up with Sean after literally bumping into him at the park come to mind), but was it really necessary for Ryan to dance? The man was shot in the head and he suddenly has the urge to dance? A Viennese waltz makes you pretty dizzy (don't ask how I know) without the added effect of a head injury. With that bullet wound, the scene should have ended with Ryan's head in a bucket.

This was a completely over-the-top way to get Cameron Mathison to dance (didn't he already dance with Annie on NYE anyway?). I mean, if that's what the powers-that-be really wanted, couldn't they have found a more subtle way to do it? Why did his dance partner have to be someone too short to reach his shoulders? Why couldn't he have worn a hospital gown so I could have laughed at him attempting to keep the back shut? Perhaps the better question is, does he really need to dance at all?

I would understand if this was a ploy to promote Dancing With the Stars, but the show's been over for a while now and really, I think he's that last guy who needs more exposure. Cameron Mathison is probably THE most over exposed actor in daytime.

Case in point: I knew who he was before I ever started watching AMC.

Dear writers (temporary or not), the next time you think about creating such an awkward and obviously forced scene, stop and put all of that energy toward making the show better. Yes, it really could use an improvement and no, a dancing hospital patient is not a step in that direction.

Line of the Day

Elizabeth: There's no way in hell I'm letting you anywhere near my children.
Sam: You always say that like you've had immaculate conceptions and boy do we know that's not true.

So that was pretty much amazing because if you've been anywhere near the Internet during the past year, you know it isn't difficult to find posts about Jason being a saint because he's always saving the day etc. etc. This also makes me wonder if the new writer does surf soap sites because the immaculate conception thing had been brought up previously in the form of this little number:

Sadly, I got this from a friend who got it from a friend and so on and so forth, so I don't know the original artist, but he or she is a genius. Once you make it past any irreverent, religiously insulting aspect of the picture, it is rather amusing and kind of accurate, don't you think?

Since Mr. Temporary Writer is possibly answering the demands of online fans, I'd like to request Carly screaming less often, Jason shooting fewer people and Patrick and Lucky walking around shirtless at all times.

Thanks!

Comings And Goings

The ever-revolving door of daytime continues spinning and it looks like some actors are on their way out of soapland.

*Julie Pinson from DOOL is apparently on her way out.

This really is too bad because I've liked her portrayal of Billie now that her sole purpose isn't sitting there and pining after Bo. I've also been enjoying the mother/daughter relationship she has with Chelsea. Maybe this decision was made by scabs and it will be reversed?

* Jackie Zeman from GH has had her contract status downgraded.

Yeah, I pretty much hate GH's treatment of all vets and this is no different.

*Robin Christopher from GH is poised to make an exit.

I read that Christopher wanted to move her family back east (and now I can't find the article) so it makes me think this was her decision. I'm less bitter about an exit if I know it is the actor's choice, but what does bother me is that in recent months, her talent's been wasted, of course that could be said about the majority of the GH cast. Hopefully Skye's exit isn't accompanied by a hail of bullets and another Quartermaine funeral.

Just Saying

Luke: What fresh hell is this?

Exactly.

Every episode of General Hospital feels like 40 minutes (thank you once again fast-forward button inventor) of hell these days and this week was no exception.

To kick things off this week we had the New Years episode, which was beyond depressing. Let's review:

*Jax was sick and missed the party at his own hotel.

*Said party was not even shown. I know it's not a big deal, but I'm a fan of tradition and I was starting to think of the Metro Court party as a tradition of sorts. Oh that's right, they were axed due to budget cuts.

*Jason ditched Elizabeth, probably to kill someone. Now there's a guy who has his priorities straight.

*Nikolas spent the evening with is fianceé..................who just happens to be dead.

*Sonny was arrested.

(sidenote: apparently Courtney's loft was shipped to Manhattan and converted into an art gallery so Lainey and Kelly are just as homeless as Robin.)

*Robin and Patrick argued. Then made up. Then lost the patient that Georgie had recommended to Robin.

Oh yes. The new year is going to be a bright one.

Sadly, the rest of the week was not an improvement.

Luke had another version of hell where he dressed in drag at one point.

Okay, small "hee!" but seriously, did we really need to be subjected to yet another hell and not a very amusing one at that?

Lulu was kidnapped, again, and I couldn't care less.

Felicia is surprisingly still in town, but apparently it's just so she can be verbally abused by Maxie (not that it isn't warranted).

Alexis and Diane were both nominated for some lawyery award and while I'm amused, why can't veteran actors be used for more than just comedy?

I will toss out one compliment this week and it goes to the scenes where Alexis walks in on Skye and Ric who were obviously otherwise occupied. The dialogue was full of double meanings and because I have the maturity of a 3rd grader when it comes to dirty jokes, I chuckled once ............ okay maybe twice.

Alexis: Ah. I didn't mean to interrupt a meeting.
Skye: No, I can go.
Ric: No, no, no.
Alexis: No, don't -- sit. You look very comfortable. So if you're in the middle of a merger of some sort, I don't want to interrupt.
Ric: No, no. Uh, thanks for coming.

So other than that, this week was beyond painful. You know a show is getting bad when you only have to watch four episodes and you still would have preferred a root canal to reliving that viewing experience.

I'm just saying.

Caps provided by laurieluvsliason.

Looking Back: 2007 in Review

Most people like to do a best and worst at the end of the year, but looking back, I find it virtually impossible to find anything good about General Hospital in 2007. This is more of a storyline recap, just in case you were wondering why yours truly (and several others as recent ratings indicate) think GH has been in a steady decline.

The Cassadines

I know life for a Cassadine is tough, but man did this year suck for them. Let’s start with Alexis. She battled lung cancer despite the fact that she never smoked and what could have been a kickass story for a kickass actress got very little attention after the start of the year. Apparently with Alexis, there is no such thing as too much misery because the tragedy kept piling up. In addition to cancer, she was arrested for smoking pot to cope with the chemo effects, had Molly taken away in yet another custody battle, was dancing on the edge of another pairing with a psycho and then developed appendicitis at the exact moment she was trapped on Spoon island with doctors, but none of the appropriate medical equipment. What do you think about all of this Alexis?


Exactly.

Her daughter’s year wasn’t much better. Sam was given another backstory where she was a con woman who married rich men and divorced them. She killed one of the men (in self-defense of course) and his daughter sought vengeance by giving Sam her own television show.

:::crickets:::

Yes, she wanted to make her famous and then take it all away. That was her diabolical plan.

:::crickets:::

Ladies and gentleman, the first idiotic storyline of 2007.

Amelia, you are an embarrassment to soap villains everywhere. I will say that despite the crappy material, Annie Wersching was not a bad actress, especially when compared to her temporary recast. Someone out there must agree because I believe she’s currently filming for 24 and because of that, her character's been MIA. This is definitely one story I’m not sad to see go.

Sam’s year got steadily worse as she discovered she could not have kids, allowed Jake to be kidnapped by a slightly deranged guest on her show, hired men to threaten Elizabeth and her children, lost Jason and then once again did the adultery thing when she slept with Lucky while still married to Liz. While totally skeevy, I’m willing to let that last one go in the name of hotness. Just in case you missed the steamy hookup:

Trust me, it was hot.

Our final Cassadine is prince Nikolas. His year started off battling Helena to reclaim his son. Then he survived the Metro Court explosion only to be once again be taken hostage by Craig/Jerry. GH’s newest villain injected Nikolas with some poison to keep him in line and when Robin found out about it, he forced them to pretend they were in love.

Idiotic storyline #2.

Nikolas survived that and reunited with Emily right before he started having random rage outbursts, lost the love of his life in his own house after becoming engaged said love and then regained lost love in the form of a ghost or some hallucination, which may or may not be caused by an inoperable brain tumor that could be genetic.

Hooray for surviving, I guess?


The Quartermaines/Spencers/Baldwins

The Q’s continued to be ignored except when they were paraded out for Alan and Emily’s death. Someone thought it was a good idea to bring Alan back (presumably because of fan outrage) as a humorous ghost/conscience thingy who haunts Tracy because she forged his will.

Someone thought wrong.

While Alan and Tracy’s bantering can be amusing, the fact that Stuart Damon has been reduced to playing a wise-cracking, tracksuit-wearing apparition is beyond insulting.

Oh yes, this version of Alan also got Tracy committed for the summer, but she managed to break herself out and the Q’s continued to shrink as Dillon said adios and headed for Hollywood. Pretty sure Scott Clifton saw the writing on the wall and decided to get out while the getting was good. I think we have a new Ned in training.

Lucky continued to take hits last year and the irony of his name and his life is still sooooooo not amusing. He proposed to Elizabeth, again; married her, again; divorced her, again; and agreed to take care of a son that isn’t his, again. Yes, in case you missed it, Jake is Jason’s son, not Lucky’s because Lucky’s not allowed to have anything.

Scott Baldwin made his way back to town, but the writing for him has been insanely sloppy. Let’s see, history was rewritten and he is now the murderer of Rick Webber and let Laura take the fall for it.

Nice.

Then he sued for custody of Laura and won. It was ridiculous that he won because he is not related to her. If they wanted Lulu to find out about her mother’s rape, there could have been so many other better ways to do it, but God forbid this show do anything that isn’t ridiculous.

Scott’s reappearance to the canvas brought the creation of a new character, his son.

Scott was unaware that Logan Hayes was his son until a DNA test confirmed it. He fell for Lulu, which caused some issues for her father and stepmother given their Baldwin hate, so of course Lulu fell for Logan too. Things ended badly for them after Maxie was tossed into the mix. Maxie became jealous of Lulu after seeing the young Spencer hanging out with her boyfriend Coop, one of the Metro Court hostage takers, and devised a revenge plot. I can’t even discuss this skeevy storyline because it was a retread of the Alexis/Ric/Sam/Jason/Liz/Lucky crap of last summer. I hated it the first time and it wasn’t any better the second time.

Lulu eventually gave Logan another chance in exchange for Scott returning custody of her mother to Nikolas. Of course her reconciliation with her ex isn’t going to last because the GH execs are incapable of keeping Lulu with one guy for too long and she now has her eye on a new mobster named Johnny Zacchara.

The Jones/Scorpios/Drakes

Georgie was virtually invisible in 2007 except when they paraded her out to have her feelings ignored by Spinelli only to finally meet her demise at the hands of another awful serial killer storyline. Way to show respect to the daughter of a legacy character GH.

Way to go, guys. Way. To. Go.

Georgie’s cousin Robin didn’t fare much better this year. Her boyfriend got his HIV tests results back (negative of course) and the whole event was a let down considering the storyline took six months to tell. Patrick and Robin had an amusing storyline in the summer where, with the help of Anna, they helped Noah impersonate an 80s rocker. Ridiculous story, but it was intentionally silly so, I’ll let it slide.

I know everyday is a bad day for Robin Scorpio, but 2007 is now synonymous with the destruction of this character. She broke up with Patrick because she wants to have kids and he doesn’t, which is fine, but why does she have to become unrecognizable in the process? Since breakup # 476 with Patirck, she's just done so many things that are well, out of character.


Jacks/Corinthos/Morgan/Alcazars (aka the mob)

Where do I even start? Carly married Sonny (again) to keep from testifying against him in the trial for Lorenzo’s shooting, while she was engaged to Jax. When her fiancée showed up, not only was she married to her ex, but she had slept with him and then justified it because they were married. Never mind the fact that Sonny lied to keep her married to him. For some reason, Jax got over it and proposed to Carly who then divorced Sonny and married Jax within like the span of a week.

I’m pretty sure that’s some kind of record and no, that's not a compliment.

Of course their marriage didn’t stand a chance with Jax always chasing after his brother, who happens to be James Craig, the psycho behind the Metro Court hostage situation.

Ladies and gentleman, idiotic storyline #643.

Despite all the crap Jerry pulled, Jax still tried to protect his brother and that led to him being taken hostage by Irina, Jerry’s crazy ex. During this stupid storyline, Jax was raped and instead of addressing this socially relevant issue, it was dismissed and joked about.

It’s moments like these that make me pray for someone to pull the plug on Robin and Patrick’s obviously upcoming HIV baby storyline. There’s no way the GH execs could take this seriously and I’m pretty sure the story would end up being just plain offensive.

Meanwhile, Jason got a reprieve from Carly so he could do what he does, no not importing coffee, killing people. Lorenzo’s brain damage turned out to be fake, which made him look like a jerk because he’d been allowing Skye to risk his life for him. She in turn helped Jason kill him.

Ah, love.

This eventually led to Jason’s 395th murder trial which of course he got out of. After dumping Sam, he’s continued pining after Liz now that he knew Jake was his.

Recently, he’s devoted his attention to hooking up with Liz in secret because that’s how you deal with losing your sister.

Okay then.

I thought we could get a reprieve from Sonny the mobster and spend some time with single Sonny, but I was wrong. 2007 brought the return of an old flame from Bensonhurst named Connie. The mobster’s teenage love has since changed her name to Kate and has become quite the fashion icon. I liked her at first because she didn’t fall for Sonny’s crap, but eventually she gave in to his "charm" and she is now just another notch on his bedpost and my dreams have been sufficiently crushed.

Another new face was Trevor Lansing. He had a past relationship with Kate and he is now trying to use the Zaccharas (yet another mob family) to get back at Sonny. God forbid we make this about Ric and Trevor, you know, his father? The reason he is the way he is?

Why is it that the only family that counts on this show are mob families?

Yeah, I don't know either.

So in summation, General Hospital is a shadow of its former self. I’d tell you that things can’t possibly get any worse, but I don’t like to make a habit of lying.

Caps by Clarissa.