Just Saying

This week GH once again tried to ripoff a ripoff of last year's hostage situation by having another hostage situation, but wait, it's new and improved! It's now in the hospital and the man is an out-of-work mechanic who doesn't have insurance, but is threatening to blow up the hospital if no one helps his pregnant wife.

Color me bored.



To recap, Joe Smith (Really? I mean I get that he's an average guy. Isn't the plain name a little over-the-top?) vacillated from calm, rational man to angry, I'm going to blow us up guy. Sam showed up (for no apparent reason) and helped calm Joe down and Jason suddenly appeared and saved the day by grabbing the bomb that wasn't really a bomb which he totally knew.


In another words, it was like every other "crisis" where Jason shows up and saves the day. You missed nothing. Actually, scratch that. This time was slightly different because veteran actors were involved and by involved, I mean Monica's character continued to go downhill. Not only could she not stitch up a leg, but she's now and alcoholic who hides flasks in the supply closet.



Luke would be so proud.



Speaking of the Spencers, Lucky got involved in this fiasco thanks to the major's vanity. He's in the hospital for injuries he sustained falling off a skateboard. When he discovers the hostage situation, instead of calling the police, he calls Scott and tells him to take care of the situation quietly, you know, because if this becomes a big deal, he'll look ridiculous.


Um, no. You look ridiculous because you're refusing to call a bomb squad and you sounded ridiculous when you came in asking for Patrick Drake who a) is a neurosurgeon and b) knocked you flat about a year ago. Would you really trust him to treat you after you publicly announced it was alright for his girlfriend to be collateral damage? Are you sure you didn't hit your head?


And coming back from my tangent......


Ah yes. Lucky. I have always been a fan of Mr. Spencer (minus the summer of '06 crap) and Greg Vaughan is definitely rockin' his scenes as of late. Is it just me, or does he look hotter than usual? Let's observe, for scientific purposes of course:


Lucky taking aim:
Hot.

Lucky concerned about endangering the lives of others:
Hot.


Lucky wearing scrubs:

Totally hot.


Lucky wearing scrubs while trying to rescue Elizabeth and Jake:
Still hot.

Elsewhere in the hospital, it was business as usual. I love how Robin totally dismissed the lockdown in the ER. Considering that she's basically been held hostage twice in the last year and was severely wounded during one of those instances, I thought she'd take the situation a little more seriously. Oh that's right. This isn't the real Robin. This is the psuedo-Robin from that crapfest of a spin-off who acts completely out of character all of the time. Got it.

Robin was in doctor mode this week and her main case was Nikolas. The dark prince came in for tests and because they can't find anything, Patrick decides they need to provoke Nikolas in order to get a blood sample while he's angry, but without his consent of course. Totally unethical, but we'll get to Patrick's lack of morals later. The viewers learned that Nik's violent outrages are back once he knocked Robin down and later punched Patrick, which he totally deserved and after Friday's episode I thought he really deserved it, but seriously, can someone not get the guys some fighting lessons? When he gets into a fight, he throws a punch and then whines about his hand. The rest of the time, he just straight up gets his ass kicked. I am embarrassed for him.


After some convincing, Nikolas admits himself and then has some conversations with Emily which I just find completely upsetting because SHE'S STILL DEAD. The brain tumor or whatever they decide is messing with the Cassadine prince this week is likely causing him to see things (i.e. Emily). In another words, if Nikolas wants to get better, he's probably going to have to give up his Emily visions. Love story my ass. This is just depressing.

Something else that's depressing is Robin's pregnancy. As I've already discussed, it's not so much that she's pregnant as much as it's the way she became pregnant. And what the hell was that Leyla crap? Where do I even begin? One, if she is so in love with Patrick, no way in hell could she just sleep with him with no strings. Number two, why the hell would Patrick sleep with her after what he learned earlier (i.e. Robin informed him that Leyla really fell hard for him). In his defense, I can understand why he doesn't get that part because I don't even find it believable. I think it might be the actress, but what I don't understand is, how difficult is it to pretend to be in love with Jason Thompson? I'm sure I could find a couple of people willing to take her place if need be.

Anyway, after Robin draws Patrick a picture, don't you think he would have the good sense to know he's going to hurt the nurse if he does sleep with her again? By the way, what the hell with all the tearing down of Patrick, people? I'm convinced that one of the execs got pissy that Patrick became a popular character once he stopped being an ass. So to punish the viewers for not being "trained" (you know who I'm talking about) the execs/writers are turning Patrick into another misogynistic asshole. Like we need more of those on soaps or in the world.

I don't care how many times you show me this:
Nothing will make the ridiculous regression of Patrick's character okay.

Thirdly, why would you, dear writers, have them hook up (God, just seeing it in print makes me want to vomit) when you know Robin is pregnant and Patrick could be infected? This sucks on all levels because a) this means Leyla will be involved even more with this storyline (because she'll have to wait for HIV tests) or b) the writers will once again dismiss these medical facts and spit in the face of a socially/medically relevant issue. Either way this blows.

Something else that pissed me off was the temporary Jax replacement. I loved that he called Carly out on her Jason worship, but why couldn't Ingo be the one to do it? I mean, the dude's had to deal with the various incarnations from the start and if someone's going to start handing out anti-Carly lines, I think he's earned the right to deliver them. Would it really have been that hard to schedule those scenes for when Ingo came back? I mean, was all that crap at Jake's with Jerry really necessary? The only reason I even remember those scenes is because of Tracy's fantastic line:

Tracy: When God created Eve, he should've quit while he was ahead.

Ha! If we could have kept that line and delivered it somewhere else minus all the fake Jax crap, I would have been happy, but we all know that's not allowed.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the worst line of the week which goes to Trevor hands down:

Trevor: Hmm. Surprise, surprise. You must be much better in bed than I thought you were.
Pardon me while I shudder in disgust. That is so not something any parent should ever, EVER say to their child. It's just wrong. Something else that's wrong, is if Ric Hearst is leaving the show, not that I would blame him. Ric stopped by to see Alexis (who is now hilariously chummy with Diane) to say goodbye the girls because he was leaving town to think. I love my Rexis scenes, but I am a little concerned with all the recent exits that this was yet another. Here's hoping this is simply a winter vacation.

Someone I could use a little less of is Lulu. This week she was still kidnapped and while I know it's difficult to stay fashionable when imprisoned in an old, dank castle, but what the hell is up with the side bun? Whoever is unleashing all this sideways hairstyles needs to stop. It's not trendy it's annoying and I demand that is cease. There are other ways of getting revenge on cast members that don't include permanently scarring the audience in the process.

Alright, once again Lulu needed rescuing and Logan, Spinelli and Johnny showed up to save the day. Johnny found an injured Lulu first and after some arguing she shoved the mobster who fell on top of an old sword. Then she says she's sorry. Dude, he's got a sword sticking out of his leg. I don't think "sorry" is going to cut it (pun accidentally intended). After that little disaster, the two of them stumble into an old closet full of rum. Then they proceed to get drunk and makeout because that's what you do when you're injured and trying to escape your captors. With plans like that, no wonder she's so easy to snatch.

Rounding out this week's column is Sonny and Kate.
I like the idea of a high school sweetheart and returning home because it's very relatable, but I feel like their conversation has been on a loop for months now. Maybe that will stop soon because at the end of the week Sonny proposed. I might have been more moved if they guy didn't change women as frequently as he changes his socks. I can imagine his thought process building up to this decision.

Hmm...it's January. Time to get married again. Carly's already married and there isn't enough time left in the month to get her divorced. I know. I'll ask the next woman who agrees to dinner with me. Sweet, it's Kate!

What? That's how it seemed to me. I'm just saying.

Thanks to laurieluvsliason for the caps.