GH: Night Shift Episode 8 - "Employee of the Month"

The planets must be realigned or whatever it is that was wrong with me last week must have been fixed because I thought this week's episode of Night Shift sucked, royally. Pacing, dialogue, acting, it was all off. This is so disappointing because of how promising the last few episodes had been. I honestly wouldn't mind if the show stopped airing today and I never saw the remaining episodes. Television shows are supposed to offer you an escape from the crapiness of everyday life. If my life sucks, why would I want to escape to a crappy fictional world?

Let's start at the top with perhaps the biggest WTF? moment in television history. After several weeks, we FINALLY discover Maxie is indeed still alive. As Leyla and Jolene exit her room, I think I heard Leyla mumble something about Maxie being in defib for 20 minutes. I am no medical professional, but if that's really an alright amount of time to be shocking someone, how can Patrick honestly say he did everything for Stacey last week when his resuscitation attempts took less than a minute? I'm just curious.

Turns out Maxie now has an abscess in her heart and Dr. Leo Julien owns 6 MP3 players loaded with nothing but playing the guitar how tos - odd to say the least. As devastating as this news may have been I was oh so pleased to see Georgie and Mac. After virtually disappearing from the GH canvas recently I was happy to see that they were in fact still alive and hadn't been pushed into the Port Charles harbor along with Lorenzo Alcazar and the GH execs simply decided not to tell me.

For some reason, Dr. Julien doesn't want to perform the operation so he tries to call Monica Quartermaine who's unavailable. Now this is just ridiculous because how is it that all these GH veterans who are actual doctors can't seem to appear on Night Shift? Wouldn't using the actors who are already on the payroll saved execs time wasted on casting? Then again, maybe Leslie Charleson knows what she's doing. Would you want your name associated with the crapfest that is this show?

Dr. Leo eventually agrees to do the surgery only to freeze up and subject the audience to another cheesy use of effects as he has visions of losing someone on the table. Now Maxie didn't die (I think), but her body was put through the ringer over the course of the evening as a sleepy Dr. Archer intubated her esophagus and a nurse "accidentally" gives her the wrong IV bag.

The mysterious figure who's been behind all of the random "accidents" in the hospital was revealed this week and it turns out it was ................................................. Jolene.

Yawn.

I wasn't surprised (come on, "Angel of Mercy"?) and I didn't really care, but I was disappointed. Why couldn't it have been Leyla? That girl has creepy written all over her face and I actually could have gotten behind watching the actress sink her teeth into a crazy, psychobitch storyline. Why must you take away all my fun Night Shift writers? Why?

So why is Jolene killing people you ask? You really care? :::sigh::: Alright well I'll fill you in on what was said.

Colonel Sanders makes his appearance at GH and terrorizes Dr. Ford, who was introduced by the scrawny lawyer dude as "acting Chief of Staff." Um, excuse me?!! When the hell did that happen and can I just say that that makes absolutely zero sense given that Monica Q is still around (she still is around isn't she?)? I would think she would be the prime candidate because I believe she was COF at one point and wouldn't her appointment to the position be a nice way to honor her husband's memory? Oh, that's right, nothing about this show makes sense. Moving along.........

Okay, Mr. Southern Medcam threatens to take over General Hospital and despite that he's about one bucket of chicken away from becoming KFC's newest spokesperson, I was willing to give the character a small chance, mostly because he seems to annoy Ford which always goes over well with me. He looked like he had potential with this little line:

Col. Sanders: "Where I'm from we call it being up to your neck in manure. Hah!"

But, by the end of the show, he was the latest person to be added to my list because it was revealed that he's been having Jolene setup these "accidents" so Medcam would have a reason to move in on General Hospital.

Col. Sanders: "Medcam appreciates your efforts. We are dedicated to quality patient care. Our mission is to put patients first. [There are?] so many institutions like this one, staffed with so called professionals who have gotten complacent, who have no accountability, who have lost sight of their purpose..."

Killing patients so you can take over a hospital and can declare yourself a winner in a contest of whose is bigger? Yeah, that's definitely all about what the patient needs. There's actually someone who I would trust my life with less than the professionals of GH. Who'd have thunk it? Some how I am constantly surprised at the ease of which the writers of this show can write such twisted characters. It really is disturbing.

Want to know something else that's disturbing? Having sex in a morgue next to a dead body. Yup. That's how Kelly decided to deal with her frustrations of being taunted by Pablo about the sexual assault suit and overhearing Leyla call her a nymphomaniac (who knew such a big word was in her vocabulary?).

Class -y.

I know you are all completely riveted by how amazing this show was ::cough::sarcasm::cough::, but I wanted to step back from the awesome drama and mention a little funny.

Spinelli was back to providing me with comical relief this week as he came to the hospital in hopes of getting a date with Jolene. Jason apparently had the night off, so Spinelli practiced his lines with Toussaint.

Spinelli: Sweet Angel of Mercy, I, I kneel before you, ha, naked ... metaphorically naked, with heart unguarded, um, to to propose, a date, a date, um, an, an an evening that will live on in memory. Uh, drinks, dinner, video games.
Toussaint: Video games?
Spinelli: Yeah, well I, I mean I want to impress the fair Jolene on our first official date. Maybe ,maybe I should say our, our only date. But she, she will be mine once she sees my prowess with a joystick. (laughter!)
Toussaint: The words should go through your brain before they go through your mouth.

Word.

After the former singer turned nighttime janitor finished listening to Spinelli, he dealt with a stalker in the form of Epiphany. Sorry, but she was creeping me out just a tiny bit. She spent the entire night trying to give Toussaint a present which turned out to be a employee of the month plaque. Hm, just like the episode's title. Wow, are these people smart or what?

Something I did enjoy watching this week (shocker I know) was Epiphany's son Stan pretending to be a doctor in order to help out with Lainey's ill father. Two glaring problems though:

1. When Mr. Winters shoved his daughter into the medicine cabinets, her fear looked completely fake. For some reason I thought Kent King was a better actress. Was I wrong?
2. Patrick being all "I don't know how to examine him because he won't sit still" was ridiculous. Ever heard of a sedative?

Apparently not because Lainey decided the only way her father could receive a checkup was if Stan pretended to be her ex-boyfriend, a doctor her father trusted who now lives in Seattle (hm..... I'm sure the writers just randomly picked that city and it has nothing to do with that other medical drama that is filmed on the lot next to them). It's no secret how I feel about Ford, but I was pretty much seeing red when he said Lainey should take her father to County for this "unnecessary procedure" and that his heart goes out to her. Then when Patrick attacks Ford he asks the neurosurgeon if he thinks he enjoys this, all while wearing what looks like a grin. If Richard Gant was trying to stifle a laugh during those scenes, the powers that be should have forked out the money to shoot another take because know the character looks like a sadistic jerk (not that that wasn't my opinion of him already).

I have a soft spot for Alzheimer storylines and that probably explains why I felt sad watching Mr. Winters' talk with Cody (he was at GH for bandages, but my guess is he did it himself so he could go in there and score some pills) even though Cody creeps me out.

Mr. Winters: You don't know what it's like.
Cody: A struggle that seems to have no end, no purpose.
Mr. Winters: Why fight that battle?
Cody: For the people you're charged to protect and defend.
Mr. Winters: When you can't anymore?
Cody: Let them, protect and defend you. Allow them that honor, sir.

And now we've come to the part of the program where it's time to discuss the stars of this show. Fair warning - this won't be pretty.

Apparently the powers that be want Robin to look like as much an ineffectual doctor as Patrick because the only times the audience see her is inside or nearby the nursery as the bandaged Barrett woman looked on. Yup, she's back and silent so no news there.

This week we were treated to more staring between Robin and Patrick as they danced around their issues. This really is getting ridiculous. This is not the 1920s and I did not sign up to watch a silent film. Heck, even those came with words.

When Patrick and Robin decided to use their words like grown ups, then ended up arguing again. To Patrick's chagrin, Robin decides to name the baby Anna and mentions wanting to adopt her which of course launches him into a fit about how Robin has an "irrational attachment" to the baby and that he's not sure if it's due to her "biological clock" or what, but she's become a "walking hormone." Isn't he quite the charmer? Be still my beating heart.

I'm not saying that Patrick doesn't have a point about Robin being too personally involved in Stacey's case or suddenly wanting to have kids so adamantly, but what I am saying is that I'm irritated by what he's not saying. He asked Robin if she knew that her choice wasn't only to going to affect her and what he really needs to say is "I'm scared to death of being a father. Can we step back and talk about this?" Instead of screaming and talking things out rationally with Robin he's pouting to Leyla who offers not only an ear, but a comforting hand, literally. Two actually. I'm not opposed to a friend comfortingly holding your hand or whatever, but it is blatantly obvious that Leyla wants Patrick and as a former playboy, he should recognize the signs. I am just annoyed that the powers that be decided to go the traditional route of adding a third party into the mix. I've always thought that Robin and Patrick were such unique characters that the typical third party triangle crap was unnecessary and I'm disappointed that all signs seem to be pointing in that direction.

Then we have Robin. No one is completely faultless here, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stick up for her. By the end of the show she had already signed a petition for adoption since Stacey's baby conveniently has no family. She must know that this is going to make things worse for her and Patrick. I just want some real discussion. Is that too much to ask for? Having a baby is pretty much a deal breaker and I just want to see them make up their minds before moving forward.

What's sad is that these storylines could have been really good if they had been given the amount of care and attention they deserved. I think what's even sadder is that after how awful this week was, I'll still tune in next week because I feel like now that I've started this journey, I have to see it through. One things for sure, there won't be a lack of things to complain about. Won't you come back and join me?

Mixing It Up

American soap operas, unlike their Mexican telenovela counterparts, last for years, decades if your lucky. This allows the audience to feel connected to these characters, but unfortunately another result of a show's longevity is reduncancy. Oftentimes characters only share scenes with their romantic counterparts so repitition is a given. If you think you've heard a conversation before, it's probably because you have. There's only so many ways to say "I'll love you forever" (or until the divorce papers or final) or "I hate you, you lying, cheating, slutty whore!"

A good way to avoid this pitfall is by inventing unique character interaction. For example, Max and Diane's interaction yesterday was a breath of fresh air. In honor of the GH execs mixing it up, I'm going to mix it up by posting a positive post. Lord knows there was soooooooo much wrong with the show, but I'm guessing that's going to be a trend this week (as opposed to every other week?) and I'll save my complaints until the weekend, unless something really rubs me the wrong way in which case, you will be the first to hear about it.



Number one, the whole set up of a mob kingpin's bodyguard playing gin with his hardnosed lawyer is hysterical. Secondly, I loved that they were basically having two entirely different conversations - Max worrying about "Mrs. C" as usual and Diane going on and on about the designer original Kate promised her.

In the following scene where Max literally dives out of "the boss' chair was pretty amusing as well. They both were acting like two kids who got their hands caught in the cookie jar. Sonny was moping like he always does when something doesn't go his way and I loved Diane's reaction:


Diane: Well, how did it go with Kate Howard? Any word on my dress? Because I'm thinking, as long as the editor in chief of "couture" magazine is personally handling the arrangements, I might be able to pick up a few odds and ends --
Sonny: I don't want you working on Kate's case anymore.
Diane: What about my dress?
Sonny: She's sleeping with Anthony Zacchara's attorney, which happens to be Ric's father, and that is more important than your damn dress.
Max: I'm sorry, boss, that's tough to take.
Diane: Yes, it's devastating. How can you possibly break up with Kate Howard before I have received my designer created-and-fitted original?
Sonny: Diane, did you not hear what I just said?
Diane: Yes, yes, yes -- Anthony Zacchara! Now, you hear me. Mob rivals come and go -- just look at Lorenzo Alcazar -- but this is fashion!

Sorry, Diane, but I don't think a crisis of fashion registers with Sonny unless he's trying to dipsose of a bloody outfit (i.e. evidence).

Of course I loved this little gem:

Diane: How could you do this to me? I have bent the law and broken my back defending you and jason time and time again. Finally, something good has come of it, and now you want to take it away?

What is so fabulous about these scenes is that Sonny is getting a taste of his own medicine - self-centeredness. I love anyone, especially a woman, who doesn't back down from Sonny Cornithos. Yes, she's a mobster's lawyer, but as a reward for fighting for her fashion rights, she gets a pass - but just for today.

Just Saying

Was there ever any doubt that Ric Springfield was the coolest rocker on the face of the planet?

Cap credit - Tracee

I didn't think so. His whole performance pretty much rocked my face off, but I must say, if you ever get the chance to go and see him rock out live, you should go. As someone who has had the pleasure of being up close and personal with Mr. Springfield, I can assure you, that it will be worth it.

This week the Eli Love storyline came to a close after some wacky hijinks, including damaged vocal cords via a rogue mic stand, a power outage and lip syncing involving a brain damaged rock star, ensued. At one point Noah got cold feet which led to Patrick laying into him which was ridiculous because the whole I-resent-my-father-for-abandoning-me issue is getting a little old. I thought they were past all that, but I guess the writers decided to beat that horse one last time; however, I am willing to let that slide because the father/son reconiliation moment was fabulous.

Noah: Can I ask you something?
Patrick: Yeah.
Noah: Did you really become a surgeon because of me?
Patrick: You kidding? Of course.
Noah: How did I miss that?
Patrick: Because you don't pay attention. You know, growing up, I -- you know, when you wouldn't show up to my games or my graduation or whatever you promised you'd be at, I used to tell all the other kids that you were busy saving lives. And as much as I wanted you there, it was like having my own personal superhero.
Noah: I'm proud of you, Patrick. I -- I wish I had done so much more.
Patrick: You're here now. That's all I ever wanted.

A-dorable.

Of course with this story wrapping up it meant it was time for us to bid the fabulous Anna adieu, but not before she voiced her support of Robin becoming a mother just as Patrick came within earshot. ::sigh:: Yes, thank you GH for slapping me back to reality. Yes, I am firmly aware that happy storylines aren't made to last. Curse you!

Since the rest of Port Charles is already suffering, I guess we should talk about their pain, secret or no.

Elizabeth and her brood were "accosted" in the park by two men and saved by Sam. I say "accosted" with quotes because the whole thing turned out to be a setup by Jason's jilted ex-lover. After reporting it to the police Elizabeth and Jason confessed their love for one another two seconds before declaring that they could never be together. This was Soapnet.com's take on the event:

Jason makes the ultimate sacrifice.

Um, no. To me the "ultimate sacrifice" would be him giving up his job because it seems like he's far more attached to his beloved hitman lifestyle than to the people he cares about.

So Jason, being the mafia man he is, tracks down the two goons, with Spinelli's help, only to find out that they were paid off by Sam. In the meantime, Sam is busy working out her revenge plot and while this may be sick and twisted, I think I can get behind this one. It just makes much more sense than the recent faked romance plot with Craig, Robin and Nikolas. Good old Maxie just happened to see these two men leaving Sam's apartment and apparently she's smarter than she looks because she figured out Sam's plot, although the everyday hero confirmed nothing. Sam put her plan into motion by calling Lucky over and playing victim going on and on about needing a body guard because if these men are after Jason, they could come after her. I saw a glimmer of hope that Lucky had been given his brain back because he questioned Sam's motives. Then before I could blink, he went back to being stupid and accepted the job and placed a big smacker on Sam's recently single lips.It looks like those pills from last summer have caused permenant damage to Lucky's gorgeous brain. Damn you Maxie Jones!

Ric and Sonny went their usual rounds this week as the D.A. tried to get the upper hand by severely punishing Kate for her hit-and-run. Kate tried to make a deal with Ric after he renigged on her original plea bargain, but to no avail. Then, in a creepy turn of events, Kate finds her ex-lawyer boyfriend in her hotel room and it turns out he's Trevor Lansing, Ric's father!! This is wrong on so many levels, but I will try to ignore this and focus on the one fantastic line Kate delivered on Friday's show:

Kate: News flash, Sonny -- the world doesn't revolve around you.

That little bit of honesty makes up for the disgusting fact that she's slept with Sonny and (presumably) with the father of her ex-high school sweetheart's half brother. Almost.

Somewhere in Turkey, Irina found Jerry and Carly who thought they had the element of surprise on their side. See, Carly? I told you to take the shrieking down a notch or it was going to get you into trouble. After a week of playing Russian roulette with people's lives in this crazy psychological game, Carly was reunited with Jax only to be captured and have Irina taunt her about sleeping with her husband. I will give props to Carly for turning to tables on Irina by throwing Jerry in her face. It distracted GH's newest psychobitch long enough for Jerry to gain the upperhand long enough for him to basically threaten to double cross his brother and sister-in-law.

The word of the week is trust children. You want me to use it in a sentence? How about "No one in that Turkish cell can be trusted."

Finally, Logan and Lulu made love and sadly, I did not care. I don't understand why the powers that be think the audience likes relationships to be rushed. I just felt like there was no build up so their relationship has been a huge let down for me. Soon after, Maxie came to visit Logan to verify they had "done the deed" and asked for proof (again, eww) and Logan denied to event and kicked Maxie out. Soapnet.com's version of this momentous occasion:

A noble Logan denies to Maxie that he and Lulu slept together and tells her their deal is off, but she remains suspicious.

Yeah, pretty sure an adjective like "noble" does not belong in the same sentence with a guy who made a deal to get a girl into bed and fullfilling said deal would result in bedding another girl. Just saying.

GH: Night Shift Episode 7 - "Mothers' Day"

Okay, so that issue of sleep deprivation I mentioned that was impairing my judgement of General Hospital, apparently is still in effect because I actually enjoyed this week's Night Shift episode.

This show was a continuation of last week's episode (a clear violation of the rules the GH execs set) with Jason trying to save Stacey and her baby while everyone else is anxiously waiting for a mysterious singing janitor and his mobster hacker son (I'm unspoiled, but can you honestly tell me you don't think they'll end up related?) try to get the elevator up and running.


Outside the elevator Dr. Scorpio is still nervously waiting for the elevator to open when here comes the annoying Ms. Sneed sans cane. It's a shame too, because I think that cane could have been put to good use, you know, like shoving it up her already tight butt because I think she's a total word that rhymes with snitch. So the witchy beanpole starts going on and on about how Stacey and her baby are already dead when Dr. Ford comes up and tells her to back off. In fact, during the entire episode he seemed....................................almost human. Alright, that's it! Call Shadybrook and tell them I'm on my way. I must be certifiable if I think Ford is tolerable.



Once the doors open, Stacey is wheeled away from the bloody mess that is the elevator and a random nurse takesthe baby away. Spinelli named Stacey's daughter "the charmed one" and I found the title endearing. Again, a clear indication of my lack of sleep. If you were watching the show and thought, "Hmm. Stacey made it to the OR so everything will be fine now," you clearly have never watched General Hospital. Stacey ended up with some complication called placenta accreta which of course could only be solved by a hysterectomy because you know, that's what they do on this show. No woman can have a normal pregnancy and about half of Port Charles is barren. I'm starting to believe that one of the higher ups has a deep seated issue about pregnant women. Maybe I should send them a number of a good shrink?


Patrick was not been making me very happy lately, but I will say this for him. The look on his face when he saw all of the blood in the elevator was chilling and I appreciate that he went to find Robin, although I would have appreciated a little backup when Kelly laid into Robin saying "this whole conversation has been out of line." Um, so sleeping with random male colleagues is totally not out of line? What's that saying? I think it involves a pot and a black kettle.


As if Kelly's dialogue didn't annoy me enough already, she goes on to say "the C-section was practically textbook." Somehow nothing about a hitman and his goofy hacker sidekick performing a C-section by following instructions from a Web site just doesn't scream "textbook." Call me odd. Then again, maybe Spinelli was reading the online version of "Surgery For Dummies." I'm sure they make that right?


Surprisingly, Stacey did wake up after surgery and Robin was right there to introduce Stacey to her new daughter in a very adorable scene. Patrick stood back looking awkward and scared, but he earns points for not opening his mouth and inserting his foot as has become the trend on this show.


In a not so shocking turn of events, Stacey flatlined suddenly and Patrick tried to resucitate her to no avail as Robin frightenedly watched. Honestly the whole scene left me speechless because there was just so much emotion there. When Stacey didn't respond and Patrick tried to call the time of death, Robin attempted to grab the paddles and Patrick had to push his girlfriend out into the hallway and then we had this lovely exchange:


Robin: She's a mother, you can't give up on her!
Patrick: I did not give up! I did everything I could and she bled out.
Robin: You wrote Stacey off before you even started.
Patrick: I am not going to sit there and watch you shock a corpse until she fries!
Robin: You son of a bitch!
Patrick: Patients die. No matter what we do, no matter how much they deserve to live, they die. Now if you can't except that, you don't belong in medicine!


Even though Robin called Patrick an SOB before that final line, she still gets the points because that was a cruel thing to say. I'm pretty sure that Robin Scorpio of all people knows that people die whether they deserve to or not. I'm not saying what Patrick said isn't true, but when the brilliant Dr. Drake lost his first few patients, Robin was supportive instead of throwing the harsh reality of being a doctor in his face. Patrick, Patrick, Patrick. :::shakes head::: Here I was ready to give you another chance and you disappoint me. Such a waste of all the pretty.


I'm going to interrupt this emotionally tense situation by handing out the awesomely honest award of the week to Regina.


Leyla: You're not a nurse....yet, anymore than I am. In fact, your grades are lower than mine which explains your whole pathetic agenda.
Regina: I'm sorry I ever wasted 5 seconds feeling sorry for you. You deserve to crash and burn you selfish bitch.


Preach on sister, preach on! I'm not sure if it's the actress or the way the character is supposed to be played, but Leyla does come off as stuck up and I have yet to feel sorry for her.


I didn't get my usualy giggles this week from Spinelli, but from Dr. Julian. Aside from wearing a tie dye scrub cap during surgery, he listed off the injuries he treated (1 GSW, 3 stabs, and guy with a pipe stuck somewhere) like it was just another day at the office. I believe there's a joke that starts this way. You know you're in Port Charles when...


Another brief, but noteworthy event was the Stan/Epiphany interaction. Epiphany surprisingly did not lecture her son and he returned the favor by giving her a sort of compliment about everyone not being as good as her, but they can try. The truce was sweet, but I'm sure it won't last long.


Speaking of supporting actors, everyone at the hospital seemed to be taking turns being affected by Stacey's death. Touissant had a private breakdown witht the circuitboard while Kelly lamented to Andy that doing a C-section 3 weeks ago could have saved Stacey (um, pretty sure Robin mentioned that to you, but why would you listen to her?) Spinelli lamented to Jolene about being the one to jam the elevator and I actually felt badly for him. Bradford Anderson plays the goofy so convincingly that I'm always so surprised when he does serious so well. Jolene comforted him by going on and on about how heroic he and Jason were, as did a number of other people which got me thinking, did Robin get this much credit when she performed a C-section with no supplies in the middle of a collapsed train tunnel almost 2 years ago? What? You thought this little incident was original? Well, you would be wrong. Robin Scorpio delivered Molly Lansing with no Internet, no light and no scalpel, oh but wait a minute; that was on General Hospital and this is some alternate universe called Night Shift. I keep forgetting that the execs can break or follow the rules whenever they feel like it.


So while everyone was feeling badly or praising Jason, Robin went on an apology spree that would have put a Nobel peace prize winner to shame. Can we seriously get this girl an award for constantly being the bigger person and admitting her faults especially when no one else can seem to do the same? One stop on the Robin apology tour was Jason and I actually enjoyed their scenes. When Jason asked if it was his fault that Stacey died, I was so struck by how vulnerable he sounded. As Robin let down her guard and Jason offered her some comfort, I was just happy that at least someone seems to be there for Robin, especially since her boyfriend seems too scared to do it himself. I will admit this here and now and if you ever mention it again, I will deny it, but I actually teared up during these scenes. I do not cry, but Kimberly McCullough made me choke up. That's how convincing a found her performance so gold star for her!


The show wrapped up with the customary montage that involved the pink ladies taking Stacey's body to the morgue, Ford joining the Jason Morgan fan club, Jason desperately running to the hospital roof and breaking down, Robin watching Stacey being wheeled away while Patrick silently watches from afar, Robin holding Stacey's baby girl and when Patrick sees her he stares uncomfortably.


The screen faded to black........................................and that where the problems began. That's right, it was time for the previews.


First up we have Robin and Patrick arguing. Surprise, surprise.

Next, after 2 weeks of waiting we learn that Maxie is still alive, unless Dr. Julien is talking to her ghost, but I'm guessing she's not an apparition given that she's not wearing a ridiculous track suit.


Then Colonel Sanders states that Medcam is going to buy General Hospital and while this is supposed to be serious, I find myself bursting into a fit of laughter. The guy looks like Colonel Sanders and I know I will never be able to take anything he says seriously.


Finally, Lainey's dad shoves her into a cabinet.

So, nothing too awfully exciting and then my insomniac self is up in the wee hours of the morning with Soapnet on when I see this little ad:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IAroO78bjMg

Now that's a preview! Isn't that the type of reward I deserve after losing an hour of my life that I can never get back to a show that has the potential to be down right awful? For being so dedicated, it's the least I deserve. I certainly did nothing to earn this:

Exhaustion Can Cause You To Halucinate

So, my life has been ridiculously busy this week which means no time for soaps and definitely no time for sleep. Apparently said lack of sleep has severely damaged my brain because when I did find time to catch up on General Hospital, I ran across the Jason and Elizabeth scenes at the lookout and I actually thought they were good; I had a moment where I felt kind of sorry for the ill-fated lovers. I know, I've gone completely insane because I don't particularly like this couple and I thought their presence would never evoke anything but annoyance, but never say never right?

It feels wrong to have a completely positive Jason post so I'll remedy that right now. I used to complain about Sam's neverending tears - she was seriously like an eternally broken leaky faucet. During the past few months as Sam and Jason grew apart, I became more and more convinced that the tear spillage was contagious and Jason had now caught the disease. Fans have joked about Jason's patented blank stare, but it's now been replaced with teary eyes. Apparently it's a reaction perfect for all occasions including:

Discovering you have a son......

Facing jail time because of murder charges......

Having your son kidnapped......

Finding out the Backstreet Boys are reuniting without Kevin Richardson...

Watery eyes. It's the new Morgan stare.

Just Saying

In a week full of unsurprising events Robin and Patrick's pregnancy scare stood out as the one shocking storyline. What's so shocking is that of all the couples, I thought they would never have to deal with this issue because of how careful they are in their sex life. In the end, it turned out to be a false alarm and Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson did a great job of displaying the characters' varying emotions.

What sucks though, is although Patrick ended up saying the right things about Robin being and excellent mother and that they would "stumble through this together" as soon as the test came back negative, he was back to saying the wrong things and dismissing the incident altogether and clearly missing Robin's mixed emotions. Why must we bring the Night Shift drama over to daytime? I don't think I can handle all of the passive-agressiveness the writers have been pushing on these two on both shows. It's not that I don't think an HIV positive pregnancy storyline could be good, it's just I'm not sure the powers that be would give it its proper due (i.e. Stacey) and frankly, right now GH has me all babied out.

On the other side of town there was this little trial you may have heard about where Jason Morgan was aquitted. Oh how will I get over my shock? I was actually mortified when Diane said he'd been arrested 32 times over the course of the last ten years because I've only been watching for three years and I'm annoyed with the Jason trials so I can only imagine what long time viewers are feeling. I am deeply sorry for the anguish you have suffered. I suggest that if you aren't committed to watching the show for the purpose of writing a blog that you get out and get out now while you still can.

Of course Elizabeth was there to congratulate Jason on the court releasing him so he's now free to kill another day. Liz seems to be considering a life with Jason and by the end of the week she got a taste of that lifestyle as two thugs cornered her and her kids in the park (did you not learn your lesson the first time about the park?). Best. Babydaddy. Ever. All this time spent fawning over Jason left Lucky (you know Liz's husband, the guy she supposedly loves) free to be seduced by Sam. I'll say it again, if I'm going to get behind this couple Sam needs to stop with the skankiness. If that's too much to ask, bring someone new onto the canvas for him. The son of Luke and Laura Spencer deserves better.

Speaking of Luke and Laura proginy, little Miss Lulu is headed for trouble with Logan. I was actually pretty ticked when she accused poor Spinelli of lying about Logan and Maxie making out. She's got this boy wrapped around her pinky finger and she knows it, but if she's really his friend, she could consider the fact that he's never lied to her so why would he start now? Oh my God. I just stood up for Spinellli. I think I feel dirty.

Anywho the odd couple made up and while Lulu received more warnings from Coop and Logan tried to do the "right thing" by asking the Q's permission to date Lulu. If Logan was being sincere, Josh Duhon needs to work on his acting a bit because he was coming off kind of swarmy in those scenes.

While Lulu was trying to sort through her feelings she sought out Carly for advice which was hilarious given that her track record for relationships sucks. Case and point, as soon as Lulu left, Carly got a phone call from Irina who said she'd just slept with Jax. Just when I think GH storylines can't get any dumber, they do. This whole "sleep with me or I'll kill your family" is beyond absurd. Number one, all villianesses are not sex crazed maniacs. Number two, she's not going to kill anyone because then she would have no leverage over Jax who would try to escape or maybe just kill himself because he has no reason left to live and doesn't want to give Irina the satisfaction of doing it himself (wouldn't that be some soapy stuff?).

In the second most ridiculous story of the week Sonny lectures Kate on the severity of her hit-and-run charges. Yes, this coming from a man who's escaped murder charges how many times? The only remotely charming thing about this story, was Diane going all fangirly when Kate offered to take her to Paris with her for some fashion meeting.

Oh Diane, we could have been best friends, if only you hadn't gotten a hitman off on murder charges. I'm just saying.

GH: Night Shift Episode 6 - "Love's Labors"

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I thought this week’s episode of Night Shift was quite an improvement and dare I say, somewhat enjoyable? Then again, after hitting rock bottom in recent weeks, the show couldn’t have gotten any worse, right? What am I saying? Of course it could have. The geniuses of GH are behind this show after all.

This week, the show was told in a flashback format. It opened up with Robin looking on in fear as Patrick and a few other random nurses tried to resuscitate a patient. The camera work was sort of cheesy, but compared to the freakin’ cheese fest that was last week’s ending montage, I’m willing to let it slide. Throughout the episode, doctors and nurses were brought into Ford’s office to speak with an attorney about the events of the evening. By the way, would an attorney really rush to the hospital at that time of night? To hear Dr. Ford tell it, GH is falling apart so I very much doubt they would have enough money for a high-priced lawyer.

The night revolved around Stacey, the HIV pregnant woman, and Robin’s connection to her. It was nice to see Dr. Scorpio whose presence seems to have been missing recently. Stacey came in complaining of abdominal pain and asked for Dr. Lee and Dr. Scorpio. Regina stands there all calm and pleasantly sayis she’ll page them while Stacey writhes in pain in front of her. Why the hell didn’t she get her a damn wheelchair or something? Isn’t helping the patient like Nursing 101? Once Stacey manages to get to Dr. Lee, Kelly informs her that she has had a placental abruption and they’ll need to perform a C-section to which Stacey asks if Kelly can do that. Hee! Apparently word has gotten around town that Lorenzo Alcazar delivered more babies than Kelly.

In case you weren’t already questioning Dr. Lee’s skills as a doctor, maybe this scene will help you out. After giving Stacey the 411, she leaves her alone, grabs Leyla and tells her to wheel her to surgery. #1 was it really alright to leave a sick woman who did not appear to be hooked up to anything , alone? #2 was it really a good idea to ask a student nurse to wheel a patient to surgery? Apparently not because within a matter of minutes, Leyla ditched her patient in the elevator, after telling Spinelli and Jason where to take her, so she could go and help another patient. Shortly thereafter, said elevator broke down and therein lied the evening’s predicament. Note to self - if for some reason you decide to risk your health by putting your life in the hands of GH doctors, take the stairs.

When Robin finds out about Stacey she is completely panic stricken and starts freaking out at people. The first person she gets mad at (understandably) is Leyla. Dr. Scorpio asks why she left her alone to which the nurse responds that Stacey’s with “Mr. Morgan and the Jackal” as if that’s supposed to mean she’s safe. I seriously had to laugh at that. Robin threatened to get Leyla kicked out of the nursing program, which was a little harsh, but if Leyla thinks a brain damaged janitor and a stoner hacker qualify as medical professionals, she deserves it.
Turns out the patient only Leyla could save because she speaks their language (FYI - Dr. Julien could have been paged to speak with them) needed surgery courtesy of Dr. Drake. He asks Robin to assist and she declines because she has to wait for Stacey. Patrick’s upset that she won’t help save this man and after Epiphany points out Robin’s refusal to help a patient, Dr. Scorpio heads to the ER to assist her sweetie. It was cool to see Robin in surgeon doctor mode, but the looks between her and Patrick over their surgical masks were intense. Could someone please lock them in a room so the could just talk things out already?

After surgery Robin overhears Jolene gushing about Jason (how is the Jason fan club not full by now?) and her co-worker comments that the only way he’ll help Stacey is by giving her last rights which of course upsets Robin who rushes off to wait for Stacey. Dr. Lee has a team waiting beside the elevator and Robin snaps at Dr. Archer (this poor guy has zero luck with women) to which everyone else jumps on Robin and tells her to calm down and she apologizes. Here’s my problem: Why must Robin always be made to look like the bad guy for overreacting and why is she always the one to apologize? If GH writers are going to make characters apologize, they should spread it around a little. If they need some inspiration, I’ve got a whole list of people who need to start asking for forgiveness.

Patrick is waiting with Robin until he gets paged to perform surgery on a man with head trauma from a motorcycle accident. I’m guessing this has something to do with Jolene’s secret. Earlier, in the what the hell moment of the show, Regina explained to Jolene the reason she gave Stan attitude (so over the top by the way) for being rude to Epiphany is because she had an abortion and he didn‘t seem to care what his mother sacrificed for him. At the end of this awkward bonding moment, Regina asked Jolene what her deepest darkest secret was, cut to Jolene staring sadly at the head trauma guy.

Speaking of Stan, after going his usual rounds with his mother, he headed to the basement to help Touissant try and fix the elevator. During this time, we discovered that neither one knew what they were doing and that someone broke the elevator on purpose. There had better be some cool explanation for all these freaky accidents, but I’m sure there won’t be. I’ve decided it’s less disappointing to watch if I keep my expectations low.

While everyone outside of the elevator was freaking out, Spinelli and Jason were doing a great job of freaking out inside of it. I understand that Jason could talk to Stacey about her condition because apparently it was the same one Sam and Elizabeth had (can they not come up with some other pregnancy complication), but must Jason always be the hero?

The actress playing Stacey did a great job of conveying her character’s pain and fear, but I must say I was relieved when she passed out because her screaming was getting on my nerves. After deciding they were stuck and need to help Stacey, Jason asks Spinelli to Google how to perform a C-section. Wow. So that explains how all the GH staff can work there without completely medical school. Apparently they just Google everything. How quaint.

Spinelli is continuing to freak out as he attempts to read the instructions, but thinks the point is moot because they don’t have a scalpel. Silly boy. With a flick of the wrist, Jason pulls a knife out of his pocket. Duh Spinelli. It’s part of the standard hitman’s tool belt. Jason tries to find something to sanitize the blade with and Spinelli whips out a lighter which he says he uses for smores. This definitely deserved a hee because smores is Spinelli code for pot. So Jason performs the C-section while montage music plays and delivers a baby girl who surprise, surprise, isn’t breathing.

And that’s where it ends. No, I am not kidding. The episode ended with a “to be continued” screen. Are you freaking kidding me??!! I thought the whole point of Night Shift was each episode was only one night long. If GH execs wanted to break the rules, why couldn’t they have addressed Maxie flat lining at the end of last week’s episode? For all I know she’s dead and haunting the supply closets of the hospital.

Self Destruction

Sam and Carly are always taking about their self destrustive nature and I'm convinced with the crap that I saw only 2 episodes into the week that the General Hospital powers that be. The only difference is I think they don't seem to realize what they're doing is wrong so I suppose they're more like that girl in high school that slept with the entire football and basketball team yet doesn't understand why people call her a slut.

Now I don't usually comment about clothing because I am no fashionista, but I'm not blind. Nothing about Lulu's dress is okay:


Sure orange and camoflauge are two colors worn by hunters, but they should never be mixed together let alone be worn by someone who isn't even hunting. This is such a shame because Julie Marie Berman is a pretty girl and that dress is cute, of course minus the band of camo.

Now there's been some ridiculous storylines on GH in recent memory (i.e. Robin/Nikolas fake romance, Dancing with Sam), but I think Kate's current predicament could take the cake.


I'm not trying to downplay the seriousness of a hit and run, but give me a break. Sonny is all concerned that Kate is going to do time for a "traffic violation." Isn't murder or being an accessory to murder a more severe offense? Lawyers have been getting Jason's and Sonny's butts acquitted for years so would it really be such a stretch for them to make Kate's charges go away? Good Lord I should not be more convinced that Kate is going to jail for a hit and run than Jason who's on trial for murder!

Along the lines of ridiculous storylines, what the hell is with Irina?

This whole making Jax sleep with her is disgusting and did I mention ridiculous? I'm not complaining about the nice view, but if all they wanted to do was show off some of Ingo Rademacher's assets, why didn't they just have the crazy lady make him run around in a loin cloth?

Just Saying

You know a show is bad when you don't even feel inspired to mock it. I feel like right now, General Hospital is that bad, but I shall press onward. I think I'll start with the bareable and hopeful that will help me continue.

Anytime I see Finola Hughes on my screen it's a good thing. Sure the Eli Love story is silly, but in a world full of countless mob murders and paternity test, I will take it. It's been adorable watching Noah and Anna's kids freak about their possible relationship. I already blogged about how cute the parental/child bonding talks were, but I think what I was most happy to see was Noah finally getting some action. I mean, he was the original ladies man at the hospital and since his return, he's gotten nothing. Of course, this return to his days as a heartthrob was short lived because Anna kicked him out of her room before things got out of hand. The rest of the week the Drake men were pouting because the Devane women decided to cut them off from sex. Wow, so that's how you really piss a Drake man off. Good to know.

Meanwhile, Jason's 1,278th murder trial that we know he won't be convicted in continued. Liz testified again, followed by Skye (she's alive??!!) and Amelia who all did their best to make Jason's halo shiner in an attempt to blind the jury from the truth. Ric played the recording of Jason killing Alcazar and then called the creepy guy who disappeared last week to testify. Apparently he's the gardener and he claims to have seen Jason throw Alcazar's body into the back of an SUV the day/night of the murder. Jason was outraged, not because he's screwed, but because gardener man is lying. Diane asks how he knows to which he responds that hypothetically he would not throw a dead body in the back of his SUV. Duh Diane. It would totally mess up the interior. Sheesh. Then he goes on to say that this is guy wants revenge because Jason killed his brother (but Jason's not a murderer remember?), but it's totally cool because that guy was selling drugs. What??!! Someone please stop the insanity. Jason and Sonny are mobsters but they don't import drugs and weapons, so what exactly do they do? I think they're really just posers who have been lucky enough to have only been attacked by guys with bad aim.

Just when you thought for once Jason was completely done for, in walks a cop with info proving Alcazar's alive. Unfortunately, it doesn't look Ted King will be returning because the "proof" is fake. Carly and Jerry have been in Venezuela creating false evidence to make it look like Lorenzo's alive. Hmmm, I wonder if the jury will buy it. Dude, if it will make this trial end sooner, I don't care.

Lucky and Elizabeth's relationship continued to deteriorate this week and Sam did what she could to help that happen. After once again lying to Lucky about being Jake's dad and that she loves him, Liz runs crying to Jason. Yes, Elizabeth, because that's the way to drive the point home that you love your husband. Sam filled the void by showing up to apologize to Lucky about not telling him the truth. Later in the week, Lucky invited Sam back over to talk and the two decided to play with the kids at the exact moment Liz walked into the house. I have to admit, I got a twisted sense of pleasure to see that smug looked finally erased from Liz's face. Look, I'm not even going to debate who's right or wrong because everyone ended up sleeping with someone they really shouldn't have. My issue is Liz's lies. It's clear that she wants Jason so I don't think it's fair for her to string Lucky along. If she's done with him, just end it. It's clear that Jason and Liz are going to end up together and I could get behind a Lucky/Sam relationship as long as Sam's sincere and not just trying to get Lucky to piss off Liz. Lucky deserves better, not that the powers that be agree with me.

Since Jason hasn't been around for Sonny to tell him what to do, instead of twiddling his thumbs he's been hanging out with Kate. He saw her playing with his kids and got this sappy look on his face and all I could think was here we go again. The man is sucker for a woman who tolerates his kids. Kate's fate was sealed after she jumped into the pond to save Morgan from drowing (didn't Emily save Michael last year?) and ended up with a snake bite. I will admit, Sonny's conversation with Epiphany about Kate's fear of water was sweet, but I quickly forgot all that when he decided to shove his tongue down her throat after she said she wanted to leave town. For the love of all that is holy, why must Sonny always get what he wants and why can't he be without a woman for more than a week? Last summer, post breakup with Emily, was probably the most I have ever liked the character and it was due in large part to him not being on the prowl for the next woman. I'm sure my prayers will be ignored because as Kate made a run for it on Friday Mac haulted her plans by arresting her.

In teen land, Lulu and Logan grew closer and I will admit that the date in the rain and the surprise birthday was sweet. Again, I’m not completely sold on the relationship. Call me crazy, but Logan agreeing to sleep with Maxie if he gets Lulu into bed first isn’t exactly what I call charming. Speaking of, nice twist with Coop walking in on Logan and Maxie making out. I feel bad for the guy, but hopefully he'll get a good storyline. I like the good guys, but this show just makes the good guys boring. Just saying.

GH: Night Shift Episode 5 - "Bed, Bath and Be Gone"

I have mixed feelings about the title as well as the episode, but since I've committed to blogging about the show let's try to make this as painless as possible, yeah? I'm going to try a slightly different format this week and we'll see how it goes, kay?

Kelly-
So the show starts with Kelly having some creepy ass dream that was actually pretty corny. Some masked man was trying to get at her while she was lying in bed so I'm predicting some kind of sexual abuse/rape story is about to rear it's ugly. Original I know. What I will give originality points for is having Kelly being sued for sexual harassment by the orderly she banged last week (I think his name is Paulo) who was pissed because he got fired. I give credit for having a sexual harassament where the woman is accused of the harassment (although technically Paulo's lying and he's the one harassing her) because it could be interesting, but I'm guessing it won't be, not that I'm skeptical or anything.

Spinelli-
The misguided hacker slacker snuck back into the hospital to chat up Jolene and instead ended up on a "quest" to confront his fear of clowns. This ginormous, creepy clown came into the hospital because he couldn't control his laughter.

#1 I hate clowns
#2 That guy was totally annoying.

I can not believe I'm saying this, but I wish Jason would have pulled out his gun and shot Mr. Giggle Fits the second the Bozo wannabe opened his mouth.

Dr. Archer-
Speaking of weird patients, Dr. Archer's case was a married man who sleep walks right into bed with beautiful women. At one point he curled up beside Epiphany and ended up with a black eye. Okay writers you got me there. That was funny. Archer sends the guy to a Sleep Clinic satisfied that he's done what he could with this fascinating case and then Dr. Julien shakes his confidence by pointing out that it's possibly a scam. The way this weird, bald guy was checking out Regina as he and his wife exited GH makes me think the heart doc is right.

I would just like to point out that I am not finding these patients intriguing or amusing in anyway. They are annoying, creepy and frankly have led me to the decision to avoid the ER at all costs including but not limited to sawing my own arm off to fight off an infection if it means I will not run the risk of meeting these shifty people in the hospital.

Maxie -
Maxie, Maxie. This poor girl is just trouble. So the staph infection is still messing with her heart and Coop drops her off at the hospital, his presence is replaced by Mac and Georgie, both of whom I'm glad to see are still alive. Robin even had a moment with her cousin, albeit too brief, but you learn to take what you can get. This is going to sound so awful, but I enjoy Maxie when she's on the verge of dying simply because she's less of a bitch to Georgie. Georgie actually mouthed off to Maxie about her bad attitude and of course felt guilty about it two seconds later. She ended up being comforted by Spinelli and I found myself enjoying the scene (gasp!). I didn't think that was possible with this show. Who knew?

Epiphany -
Loud, abrasive, bossy Epiphany I can handle. Understanding and groupie Epiphany? Not so much. This alternate reality version of Pip is scaring me. She smiles and giggles at Touissant like an adolescent would at her high school crush except it's totally not cute. The generally no nonsense nurse is so star struck that she was nice to Regina after she let the bandaged Barret girl escape from her room. Epiphany's good mood is surely a sign of the apocalypse.

Patrick/Robin/Jason-
The main focus of these three was Jared, the comatose patient who was angry with his parents. When he woke up he was changed, meaning he was no longer angry with his parents (think backwards Jason). This of course led to the usual conversations of loving a child who hates you (parallel for Jason/Alan) and wanting to have children (aimed at Robin, who in case you missed it, is considering having a baby despite her HIV).

Although the night started out with some happy playfulness between Robin and Patrick which has been sorely lacking in previous episodes, it was sooooooooooooo not a sign of things to come. I think they maybe made it five minutes into the show before the miscommunications started in again. Leyla was having a bad night and Patrick stepped in to comfort her and of course Robin saw it and walked away upset. I burst out laughing when Leyla began her sob story by saying something to the effect of, they don't know what's it's like to be different. Um, just like the other two pink ladies, I mean student nurses, you have to succeed in the world of medicine because you're doing it for (insert family member's name here). Yeah, you are so original and so misunderstood. Of course Patrick had his own uncomfortable moment as he listened in on Robin's conversation with Jason about if she would ever know what it's like to be a parent. At least the powers that be seem to be going tit for tit as far as this couple's insecurities are concerned, but I wish they would freakin' get it over with already. I'm not asking for a civil discussion here, I will take a fight, anything to get them talking and stop with the hurt and angry faces!

And finally the award for most inappropriate moment of the year goes to...........

The ending montage of episode #5!

Congratulations you're insensitivity level was so high that it surpasses any inconsiderate moment that has happened or will happen on any television show this year! What are you going to do next? Scratch that. I really don't want to know.

Some orderly played Rie Sinclair's cover of "Dancing in the Streets" as exhausted doctors and nurses danced around the roof celebrating surviving another night shift. Cheestastic, but I was willing to let it go because it was a happy ending, at least that's what I thought. Suddenly I realize they were mixing in shots of Maxie flatlining while Mac and Georgie cry and Dr. Julian uses a defibrilator with these actors flailing about in what I think was an attempt at dance. I know some people would be dancing because of Maxie's death, but this was just ridiculous. How do you take a show that does something like that seriously? You don't.

Why GH, Why?

General Hospital execs constantly leave me scratching my head after the show and this week was no different.

Jerry: You've assaulted me more times than I've ever allowed any other human being to get away with -- don't push your luck.
Carly: What are you going to do -- stab me in the neck with a pen
Jerry: Ballpoint or fountain?
Carly: What the hell is going on, and where's Lorenzo?
Jerry: My guess, in a watery grave. The man is dead, thanks to B.F.F. Jason.

There is no reason for a grown man to talk like a 13 year old girl chatting with her friends on AIM. I nearly had a heart attack when Nikolas uttered the most unprincely words B.F.F. last month. It was not okay then and it's not okay now. This is so sad considering Jerry earned big points for speaking the truth the day before:

Jerry: Would you just shut up for once in your life and listen?

The B.F.F. line pretty much cancelled out any points he earned and in fact I think he's now in the negatives.

Another problem I had is when we get random scenes that make no sense.

On Thursday after kicking Sam out of the house, Liz follows her to the courthouse, grabs her and said they need to set things straight. Next scene, neither one are at the courthouse. If Liz wanted to talk to Sam why didn't she do it at the house? So Liz gets home and instead of checking on her 2 kids that she was soooo worried about, she promptly leaves to chase after Sam and fight. Hm... taking care of kids or starting a cat fight. Way to go Liz. Mother of the year.

Speaking of things that make no sense, why was Lucky wearing suspenders?

The only men who should wear suspenders are newspaper editors who have been in the business longer than I've been alive. On the bright side, the suspenders weren't pulled up over his shoulders and they brought attention to Lucky's assests. Thank God for small favors.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far...

So number one, is it possible to have too much pretty in one room? It seriously makes me question the fairness of life. All of these actors were blessed with amazing genes that make them gorgeous and Rick Springfield and Finola Hughes have aged ridiculously well. Can I look like Finola when I grow up?

Moving beyond the shallow, I enjoyed the interaction between father and son and mother and daughter. I don't understand why the powers that be don't have more familial interaction on the show. Why don't they get that it's more entertaining than watching a mobster escape murder charges for the 19,000th time or have to endure another painfully long "who the daddy?" storyline?

Back to the positive -- it was so cute to see the roles reversed between parents and kids and to watch the parallels be drawn the too. More than anything I was so pleased to see the return of cocky Noah!! If I was Finola, I would definitely let Dr. Drake Sr. operate on me.

Just Saying

Unfortunately, GH just didn't inspire me much this week so this will be brief. Jason's trial got underway as Sam was put on the stand and we all had to listen as her dirty laundry was aired for the umpteenth time. Next, Kate was called to testify and I actually found it pretty humorous because she basically made Ric look silly by saying phrases like "I'm going to murder her" are common slang (like at her job). As amusing as it was, I really hate to see one more person jumping on the I-hate-Ric-bandwagon. I love Rick Hearst and I just don't his talent is being wasted on character that the powers that be don't seem to want to make redeemable just like they have for every other character on the canvas.

Moving along, Ric played footage of Jason shooting the gunman outside the PCPD and effectively showed him as an effective killing machine to the jury. Despite the "damning evidence" Jason has escaped conviction for more than 10 years so it's a safe bet that this time will be no different. Come on people! Try and shake things up a little. You want to surprise me? Try something different like a conviction. What? You don't think so? I thought I should at least make the suggestion because it clearly has not occurred to you.

Of course the most dramatic testimony was supposed to be Elizabeth's which drug on for days. Ric asked her about the phone call Jason received the day of Alcazar's murder before preceeding to question her about her relationship with Jason. In an effort to prove that her testimony may be biased he established that they had dated and Elizabeth was forced to admit the one night stand. She cried (seriously, is it like a prerequisite that if you're Jason's woman you have to be able to tear up at the drop of a hat?), but I didn't feel bad for her. No, I felt bad for Lucky who just happened to be sitting in the courtroom. I expected that to happen, but what makes no sense to me is Elizabeth lying about who Jake's dad is. What was the point of admitting the one night stand if she was going to perjure 3 seconds later anyway? Following this thought of things not making sense at the trial, while Amelia was waiting in the holding room (why is she a witness anyway?) some random guy walks in and says he saw Jason dump Alcazar's body in his truck and drive off the night of the murder and the next day, Amelia doesn't mention it at all and the guy has disappeared. What the heck was that all about??!! I know, I know, this is GH and things don't make sense 90% of the time and I can't think about it because it'll drive me crazy and as previously discussed, I can't afford the therapy sessions.

So the big cliffhanger was Lucky asking Liz if Jake is his son and I'm sure come Monday, she'll continue to lie because you know, having this crap drag on for another year is great drama and it's what we all want to see!! Right, if I was a mascochist maybe.

Most people want to avoid criminal trials and that likes, but not Carly. She seems to be attracted to court rooms like a fly to a bugzapper. The banshee shrieked to everyone that she needed to be inside of the courtroom to help Jason and tuned out everyone rationally explaining why it was a bad idea. I think what Carly really needed to be reminded of the rules of her relationship with Jason: she screws up things for herself as well as those around her (including Jason) and then her bestest friend always cleans up her mess. She helps no one but herself and on the rare occasion where she does try to help someone, she creates disaster. Jason finally talked her out of staying because he is the only person she ever sometimes, occasionally listens to and for this reason and this reason alone, I do not want Jason to die as long as the character of Carly still exists.

To shift her focus elsewhere, Carly went to visit Jerry who was busy duking it out with Nikolas in his hotel room. I would just like to mention that while they're handing out Jerry ass-kicking scenes that Robin or one her uncle or her parents should get one too if for no other reason than to apologize to fans for the ridiculous Jerry's poisoning Nikolas storyline. Anywho, Carly kicks out Nikolas and after using Spinelli to get some info on Alcazar, she heads to Venezuela with her bro-in-law looking for some way to clear Jason's name. While there, Jerry's fever spikes (due to a knife wound) and after speaking what I think was French, he pulls Carly into a kiss (shock!) because his delirious mind thinks it's his dead ex Irina. But wait, Irina's not really dead (double shock!). She's on some boat holding Jax hostage because she wants to kill him in front of Jerry (?). While they're awaiting his arrival Irina gives a battered and scruffy Jax (he still looked hot by the way) a shave before trying to get him to sleep with her because after all, all female villians are horny and holding a gun to someone's head is such a turn on.

Back in Port Charles, Carly's little cousin Lulu was having her own boy troubles with Logan. After rejecting him and citing Coop's warning about his former army buddy, a ticked Logan attacks Coop which does a great job of showing Lulu how he's not dangerous. Riiiiggghhhtttt. Lulu takes Coop back to his room to clean up his injuries while Logan makes record time to the Metro Court to tell Maxie who teleports to Coop's door (seriously, how close is the Metro Court?) and tells Lulu to back off. Later in the week, Georgie comes into Kelly's and tries to help Lulu sort through her feelings for Logan. Can I just say how refreshing it is to see two women being friends instead of clawing each other's eyes out?

Speaking of things that made me happy, a standout scene this week for me was Spinelli promising to be Lulu's friend no matter what happens in her love life. She basically told him she would never love him, but she truly values his friendship and I enjoyed the touching bittersweet moment. Something else that surprised me was Lulu's date with Logan. Number one, I think she's foolish to trust him considering how many times she's seen him react violently, but this is a soap and according to soap rule #173 bad boys are always irresistible. After meeting Logan at Kelly's for a game of pool, Lulu agreed to one date with him as was stipulated by the bet they made on the game. Their surprisingly cute date consisted of a hike, a picnic of beer, chips and hot salsa and seeking shelter from the rain under a bench.

Lulu's aunt Bobbie made a shocking visit this week and showed up to the Metro Court where she found alcoholic Noah being tempted to drink. They talked about sobriety before Bobbie left, with the glass of liquor in her hand. Her vacated seat was promptly filled by some gawking groupie while the waitress brought Noah another glass of I think was vodka which the groupie insisted he drink. Then, to my horror, he fell off the wagon! Wow, must we continue to constantly bring down the character of Noah? I mean, let's not forget that during the course of his conversation with Bobbie he said he'd been sober for 390 something days. Um, dude, so you're telling me the last time he drank was about a year and one month ago? As in end of June as in like 2 months after his liver transplant? You know the liver his son gave him because he damaged his own organ with too much by drinking? Would it have killed you to have gotten out a calculator and thought about what you were writing? I am just saying.

GH: Night Shift Episode 4 - Keep the Change

As we get further along into this little experiment of a spin-off, I find myself feeling more and more befuddled and I don't know if I should look at it like, "Oh my God, there's only 9 episodes left!" or more "Dear God, these 9 episodes are going to take forever to end!" So, I've decided to work through my issues with this blog.

First off, the absence of Jason was most appreciated and I think the show felt more well rounded because of it. A result was an increase in the amount of screentime with Dr. Drake and that always puts me in a good mood. So, I suppose I will start with the positive before I inevitably plunge into the the downright awful. I was glad to see Patrick go all rebel-without-a-cause and join the protest, but I was disappointed that it didn't seem like he had shared his plans with Robin. The relationship between Patrick and Robin is an issue all of its own and I will get to that in a minute. I generally rely on Spinelli for my dose of hilariousness, but in this week's episode, Jason Thompson got some rather fun scenes and my favorite was when he attacked Epiphany with a hug. After once again hearing a voice singing "When the Saints Go Marching In" he starts to ask Epiphany if she hears it, but thinks better of it because he knows she'll just call him crazy (not that the nurse ever crushes anyone's spirit). When she surprises him by verifying that he is not in fact mental (although Night Shift Patrick has been having his moments that make me question that assertion) his reaction was priceless. He runs somewhat awkwardly around the nurses' station (I'll let the awkward run slide because he is pretty to look at) and throws his arms around her and kisses her while proclaiming that he loves her. The look on Sonya Eddy's face was hysterical, but when she regained her Epiphany-like composure she told the surgeon to love her from over there and pointed elsewhere. Honestly, I thought her reaction would have been a slap followed by a loud "Boy, are you outcha mind? Get off me!" but this worked fine for me.

Another lighthearted moment for Dr. Drake was his elevator ride with Touissant where he quickly goes from pissed off at Dr. Ford to fangirly (he's a guy so, I guess fanguy-ey?) in 2 seconds flat when the interesting janitor starts singing and IDed him as the mysterious singing voice. I'm actually tempted to completely despise this scene because once again the dialogue seemed awkward.

Patrick: You're a singer?
Touissant: Once upon a time.
Patrick: Wow. So are, are you a professional? I mean you sound professional.

Yes, because I can carry a tune that must mean I was a famous songbird in my day. This ranks up there with the ridiculous line poor Mac got in the first episode: "You're probably wondering why there was laughing gas in the ambulance." But, you know, subtly is the GH exec's best trait after all. Like I said, I was only tempted to completely hate this scene except once again for the adorable Jason Thompson.

While Patrick was busy uncovering the mystery of the GH phantom singer, Robin was busy bonding with the HIV+ pregnant lady. Instead of talking to Patrick about her desire to maybe, possibly, one day, become a mother she asks him to consult on Stacy's case to which he responds that he's a neurosurgeon and the patient's ailments have nothing to do with his area of expertise. True enough, and I know this isn't GH, but I've grown accustomed to doctors performing all sorts of random operations that have nothing to do with their specialty so why change now? I'd also like to ask, where was this attitude when GH Patrick treated the three bimbettes with the sprained ankle?

Because they need another reason to fight, Patrick relents and checks on Stacy and the scenes proved awkward as Dr. Drake acts slightly freaked out and Dr. Robin is quite forceful about the case. I loved that Stacy called Robin on her aggressiveness because it gave the audience a chance to see that the researcher really isn't sure what she wants. While the scenes were supposed to be awkward, I wasn't alright with the awkwardness of the final rooftop scene. I realize things are supposed to be unresovled, but I felt like that conversation just stopped midway through because the producers ran of time.

I think the biggest problem I'm having with adjusting to Night Shift is the interaction between Patrick and Robin. I realize that they're trying to build a story here and it's not going to be all puppies and rainbows which is fine, but I feel like these characters lost a part of themselves as they moseyed on over to the Night Shift. I understand that you're supposed to be able to watch Night Shift and understand it without ever watching General Hospital, but I'm will to bet that the vast majority, if not all member of the Night Shift audience, are originally fans of GH, including yours truly. Patrick and Robin have always been super flirty and known for their banter and I'm not seeing that. The chemistry between the characters and actors that intrigued me seems to be missing as well. Arguing is normal for them, but there is always some sort of good discussion about the issue(s) and perhaps that's why I felt disappointed with this week's final scene. I'll just tell myself to hang on because I'll get my conversation eventually (just like the powers that be are going to bring Tristan Rogers back any day now and put him on contract).

Stan made a return appearance to the hospital and organized the strike for better wages and I'm actually liking the mother/son interaction between him and Epiphany. Quick question though: before tonight did they ever mention Stan becoming a doctor? I just thought he took a bunch of computer classes as a kid. Right, that's GH and this is an alternative universe. You know, for making this show easy to understand, I feel like it should require a bachelor's degree in order to watch it and comprehend this whole two realities, but one idea.

I hate that Epiphany's ragging on Stan for the strike because it's a far cry better than doing mob work, but I think I'll enjoy seeing her come around. Sneed and Ford were once again kicking out patients and deciding to spin Mrs. Storch's death as a murder instead of an error (because that would make the hospital look bad). In case you were wondering, I still totally hate them so Epiphany earned major points when she stared down Ford and reminded him that he's afraid of her. I also found the calm, no nonsense nurse tripping all over herself in the presence of the professional singer turned janitor hysterical!

Lainey once again dismissed Creepy Cody and had to deal with her father who suffers from Alzheimer's. He was brought to GH after possibly suffering a stroke. I was glad to see Patrick be supportive (although Robin popping in would have been nice too) and happy that Lainey was going to get a storyline outside of Creepy Cody .................and then I quickly realized that assumption was wrong. After Ford and Sneed essentially kicked Mr. Winters out of the hospital, Lainey had an emotional scene with her father. She was trying to help him get dressed and he was hostile until Cody came by and talked to him like a high ranking officer. I'm guessing from the salute that Mr. Winters was at one time in the army, but this doesn't work for me because it doesn't look like we'll be getting rid of Creepy Cody after all.

Kelly had sex with a new slightly swarmy, Latin orderly and then blew him off as well as Dr. Archer when he tried to talk to her as a friend. Okay what is her deal? Alternative universe Kelly is confusing me. She actually spouted off what sounded like legitmate medical terms, unlike GH Kelly. She snapped at Robin, her friend and ex-roommate, unlike GH Kelly. I mean, shouldn't she be more perky than daytime Kelly because she's clearly getting more action than her? Please just tell me what's wrong so we can move this little story along! Chances are, I'm not going to like it anyway.

And just when you thought the GH execs had no more story in them, think again! There is now a mystery subplot about who is making all these crazy, random "mistakes" happen at the hospital. Every good soap has some kind of killer storyline so let's make a list of suspects shall we?

1. Layla - Too obvious, but again, Night Shift is sooooooooooooooooo not subtle. Plus I just don't like her and would love to see her get carted off the Pentonville or Shady Brook.
2. Cody - The dude's unstable.
3. Touissant - This guy's totally shifty. Maybe he wants to make the hospital look bad so they can get rid of Ford. If that's the plan, I'm all over that because in case I hadn't mentioned it, I can stand that man.