GH Night Shift: Episode 13 - "Time Served"

I............um..................uh.....................WTF show? Seriously, WTF was that? I can't even...........I don't get........... UGH!

Okay so the season finale pretty much followed the downward trend that this show has been following since Episode 2.

In the opening scenes we have Robin talking in the locker room about the crappy Night Shift.

Robin: I have learned to hate the Night Shift.

Word. That was the smartest thing I have ever heard anyone say on this show and I should have stopped watching right then and there because things got worse from there, like immediately. Case and point: Kelly's response:

Kelly: What you hate is that Patrick is sleeping with Leyla.

Real sensitive Kel. With such consoling words, who wouldn't want you as their BFF? In the first few minutes we also learn that Dubois is alive and has been in this "condition" for a week (they never explain the "condition" so I'll just call it a coma because that's nice and soapy) and the nurses are excited about graduating because they'll get to wear blue scrubs. I for one, was happy to see the pink go, but why must they keep the stupid matching pens hanging around their necks?

Jason is upstairs mopping the same spot outside of Toussaint's room and explains to Epiphany that he's keeping guard. When the nurse realizes that the former Saints singer could be in danger she gives Jason the okay to stay put and then tells the hitman if anyone gives him problems to send them to her. ...........................

Uh, Pip? His "problems" are generally armed and dangerous. I know your shouting has the ability to make an old man living on the Pacific Coast go deaf, but I'm not sure it will do you much good when a gun is being pointed at your head.

In the category of the dumbest things I've ever heard is Jolene saying she finds Spinelli attractive. Then again, she's a bit of a whack job so you know, the things she says don't always make the most sense. Oh yes, and then there was the irritating crossfades from scenes of Spinelli and Jason confirming that Jolene is the killer to scenes of said crazy nurse scheming evilly with Colonel Sanders in a dark room and for some reason during this conversation the Colonel decides to toss in "I used to love the Saints?" WTF? Apparently you didn't like them that much if you're willing to have the lead singer killed.

During the so-called "stars'" allotted one scene together per show Patrick and Robin actually discussed their relationship. You know, the committed relationship between two people who loved each other and fought so hard to be together? Oh right. I keep forgetting. That's on General Hospital. This is Night Shit (that's what I said). I can appreciate the scene they shared in the locker room because I could see hints of the sweet, sensitive Patrick I used to love:

Patrick: Well, I guess just, we have different life goals or..........doesn't mean I don't care about you.

And Robin actually stood up for herself:

Robin: I wasn't even sure that I wanted to have a child. If I considered having one, it was sometime in the near future. Then suddenly this woman comes into my life, she has a similar history to mine, she's having a baby and then she dies. Did I handle it well? No, not even close. But for someone who was supposed to love me, you made absolutely no attempt to help me or to even understand.

Hell, I think I was just glad that someone mentioned that Patrick and Robin used to have a relationship because you sure wouldn't know it from watching this show.

Downstairs Regina wheels another frickin' pregnant woman into an ER cubicle. As Kelly examines her, the pregnant teen from a few weeks ago enters the ER and suspiciously eyes these tough-looking guys in the waiting room. She nervously tries to get Kelly to move the pregnant patient upstairs to which the doctor replies that all of rooms in the delivery wing are full. Gee. Maybe it's because countless women have decided to have their babies at GH every Saturday for three months.

Anyway, it turns out her boyfriend Javi, is a rival of the guys in the waiting room. The gang members who are sitting in the waiting room are hiding guns in their slings, just waiting to jump Javi when he comes in. Number 1, who the hell wears a blue jean arm sling? Number 2, why are the bad guys on this show always Hispanic? I mean, even on GH Sonny's rivals are always Hispanic. Way to not be stereotypical show. Great job!

So after the girl ominously whispers it's too late, a shootout erupts. Now, parts of it were done well, but seriously? A shoot out on Night Shift? I thought the whole point of this show was to focus on the hospital because the mob stuff has pretty much overrun General Hospital. ::sigh:: When will I ever learn not to trust people when they promise me things?

To recap the shootout:
*Leo was shot trying to rescue an injured medic (BTW, where was his iPod?)
*Patrick grabbed Leo and along with Robin and Leyla they helped save his life
*6 guys were killed and Jason and Robin thought Jason shot 5 of them (he probably killed all of them because he is forever the hero you know)
*Spinelli chunked his beloved laptop at someone as a weapon
*Jolene took a bullet for Spinelli
*Robin got captured after dashing across the floor (I think to pull Spinelli out of the way)
*Robin and Jason had some nodding moment (I think someone said this happened back in the day) where she ducked and Jason blew her captor away

Drama everywhere! And then .................. crap. Within two seconds everyone went about their business like nothing ever happened. It was insane. Minutes after the gun fight we find ourselves in Toussaint's room. During the shootout the former singer was having conversations with his younger self and I realized that he has good acting chops and should have held out for a better show if we wanted to make a comeback. As the janitor comes to, we now have Patrick and Epiphany joking and laughing with him, just moments after a FREAKIN' SHOOTOUT IN THE ER!!!! WTF times one thousand!!! During the gun fight, Patrick looks freaked out about Robin and afterward instead of checking on her, he's laughing it up with Epiphany and Toussaint. Why do I even bother?

Someone who did ask if Robin was alright was her Uncle Mac (nice to see you!). The thing that bothered me about the scene was there was no hug. Wouldn't he hug her? I guess it's small, but it bugged me.
Elsewhere in the hospital, Spinelli checks in on Toussaint and tries to explain that there was a shootout and that Jolene has been a very naughty girl.

Toussaint: You know, you've been known to get carried away son. That Jolene seems like a sweet girl.
Spinelli: Stone Cold apprehended Jolene as she was coming to kill you.
Toussaint: Has she been arrested?

I just loved the quick change of Toussaint's opinion of the seemingly innocent Jolene and the way he delivered that line definitely made me giggle. Something that didn't make me giggle was Jason saying it was hard to explain what he does (eliminates people for a living) and then Toussaint starts talking about talent (I think to parallel his life with Jason's) and that Jason has figured it out already. You consider killing people a talent? That's kind of twisted. Minus ten points, sir.

Of course as if the show hadn't been odd enough, it dished out a few more random moments:

The burn lady, who we haven't seen in weeks suddenly reappears sans bandages, but we never see her face.

Andy, who's been MIA all night, suddenly appears in the locker room with Kelly and they talk about their addictions. Kelly suggests they celebrate breaking their addictions by sleeping together in 72 days when she's completed her abstinence task and he's kicked his drug habit. Did they just schedule a f*#k date? Yeah, that's romantic and not at all disturbing.

Patrick and Leyla have some ridiculous conversation about waffles (cruel considering the Patrick/Robin breakfast convo early in the series) on the roof in front of that ugly fake sunrise.

Robin acts all cheerful with Jason even though she was being held at gunpoint a few hours earlier. Jason finally gets her to admit everything is not alright. He stares at the back of the burn victim for a moment before Robin walks him downstairs to the car.........................where Sonny's waiting for him. I knew they could not get through this entire show without a Sonny cameo! "A show that focuses on the hospital" my ass!

When Robin comes back inside, things really get freaky. She discovers that Patrick has a patient that was involved in a hit and run. The patient has a head trauma as well as internal bleeding and an abdomen that's firm and distended (sound familiar? Think MetroCourt crisis). Robin goes in to help and Patrick immediately tells her to get out and tries to push her back out the door. Robin argues and he says she's too emotionally involved when Leyla announces the patient's in dfib. They pull out a crash cart and you hear a "Clear!" as the camera cuts to Robin's who is wide-eyed as she stares down at the patient - herself. Suddenly, the eyes of the grey skinned version of herself lying on the gurney fly open and you're left with this creepy image of Robin staring at you as the screen fades to black.

And that's how it ends. A few conflicting thoughts here. So, can I assume that the writers took my advice to save themselves and decided to turn this whole mess into a dream? I'm sorry, but I've seen what destruction they're capable of and I'm not entirely certain I can credit them with planning out the whole dream thing at the beginning of all of this. If it is a dream, hooray because none of this icky crap happened. Then again, with a cliffhanger ending, does that mean there will be another season? If that's true, count me out. After this mess, I do not trust them to create a well-thought out show and if they're using the dream card now, chances are, they won't pull it out again.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Peace out Night Shift.

My Thoughts

I haven't seen the show yet, but I wanted to share my thoughts anyway:


"Ding Dong! Night Shift is dead. Which Night Shift? The Absurd Night Shift!

Ding Dong! Night Shift is finally dead.

Wake up - disappointed one, open your eyes, the nightmare’s done.

Wake up, Night Shift is finally dead. It’s gone where mob enemies go,

Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.

Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know

Night Shift is finally dead!"

GH: Night Shift Episode 12 - "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted"

Once I got passed the first five minutes of this show, the episode went down at lot easier than it has in weeks past. I think watching Night Shift is kind of like drinking alcohol - you drink enough of it and eventually you become numb to the taste and it's easy to swallow anything. Before I start tearing the show apart, I will however, commend the writers on a few good lines of dialogue and by a few I mean I could count them on one hand.

Since it's virtually impossible for me to root for my original favorites on this show, I've selected a new character to care about - Regina. I know, I know, I said in the beginning that she wasn't a very good actress and that I didn't care about the character, but I'm changing my mind for a few reasons:

1. Regina displayed Georgie-like compassion to Leyla despite the fact that the suckup has done nothing but be a bitch to Regina. Georgie rocks so with a little more displays of these compassionate tendencies, Regina could soon rock as well.

2. Regina said that despite the breakup, Robin still has to work with Patrick and because of that, she feels sorry for Dr. Scorpio. It's about freakin' time somebody did!

3. Regina: Hey, why don't you take a break? I'll watch the desk.
Epiphany: That's not necessary.
Regina: Nurse Johnson, take a break.
Epiphany: Yes, ma'am.

Regina not only ordered Epiphany to do something, but the serious nurse actually obeyed. I don't think I've ever seen that before and Regina even got a "ma'am"!!!

Speaking of Georgie, I was pleased to see her dad Mac wandering around, but peeved that he was at GH to arrest Lainey for the murder of her father. Cody just happened to be standing nearby (seriously, why was he there?) and decided to help Dr. Winters out. He conspicuously grabbed a bottle of pills and when he got caught, he went on and on about how we was the one who murdered Mr. Winters just to get revenge for Lainey not helping him. It was touching, I guess, that Cody took responsibility for his actions, it's just a little weird that Lainey was falling for a guy who assaulted her several times at the beginning of their relationship.

Elsewhere in the hospital, Jolene was stalked by Colonel Sanders and Jason (do none of these people have anything better to do than hang around a hospital on a Saturday night?). The Colonel wanted the double agent to kill someone else and Jason's super sniffer of truth finally started working and he began interrogating Jolene and her shady actions. Jason tried to get Spinelli to help him play detective and of course the cyber slacker was hurt to think the "Angel of Mercy" who deflowered him (eew) is a killer. Actually, when you think about it, it makes sense because when has anything involving Spinelli ever been normal?

In breaking news, Robin and Patrick had a conversation. Well, it was really more yelling than talking, but the point is that they interacted. Is it just me, or does it seem like they haven't shared any scenes together in weeks? Patrick seems to be fighting for some kind of resolution, but I'm bitter about it because I think it's just because he's grasping at straws now that his plaything decided she didn't want to play anymore (thank God because their scenes were about to permanently rob me of my eyesight).

Patrick's whole comment about it being alright if Leyla fell in love with him really irked me because of how nonchalant he was about the whole thing. It took him a flippin' year to be okay with the idea of him and Robin falling in love, but with Leyla, he's alright with the concept within a matter of weeks? If anything, I thought he would have freaked out at the prospect after getting his heart crushed the first time.

While we're on the subject, I also wasn't exactly pleased with Robin's comment about her breakup with Patrick.

Robin: After giving up Stacey's baby I've just felt so...ugh. blah, you know, like getting up in the morning isn't worth the effort.
Jason: I'm sure your breakup with Patrick hasn't helped.
Robin: Well, you would think that, but honestly he hasn't even crossed my mind.

Excuse me? At the end of Robin's latest "love sucks" spiel, Jason said, "Doesn't sound like you." Word. Robin Scorpio hurts. Robin Scorpio focuses on pain and loss. She may be focused on the pain of losing Anna, but the Robin Scorpio I know would also be focusing on the pain of losing Patrick. Come on writers. Know your characters!!

This week's patient once again was Toussaint. To help prepare for the surgery Epiphany called Toussaint's old singer buddies. The first two came in and reminisced about the good old days while the third band member came simply to wish his ex-partner dead. Apparently the two had a falling out over a woman named Michelle. To quote Anna Devane, "That's where the girl comes in. There's always a girl, you know."

During Toussaint's surgery, he of course flatlined and while the doctors worked to save him, the janitor had a flashback to his days as a singer. I liked this substitute for the ending montage because I thought switching between the younger version of the band to the present day version while they performed on stage was clever. I also enjoyed seeing everyone (from current doctors to deceased patients) in the audience. I think what I enjoyed the most was the fact for the first time in weeks, the characters actually looked happy. Happiness, you know, that emotion that's opposite of anger, hurt and pain - the only thing Night Shift seems to be about.

Of course, as this show always does, it took my momentary amusement and turned it to annoyance. The show ended with Toussaint flatling and I was left wondering:

1. Did Toussaint die?

2. Will next week be a continuance of this Saturday night and will I then find out Toussaint's fate?

3. Will next week be a completely new day and someone might make the comment that they're so glad Toussaint has gone back on the road to tour with the Saints?

Execs, did you not learn anything from the fiasco that was Maxie's flatline? I think the better question at this point is why do I even care?

GH: Night Shift Episode 11 - "Fools In Love"

When a television show starts to make you physically ill, it's time to stop watching. I reached that point weeks ago and I urge annoying feeling a little nauseous themselves, to abandon ship. With only two episodes left, it's safe to say nothing's going to improve and the captain is most definitely going down with this ship. It's not worth it, unless your a masochist, in which case, carry on.

For future reference, Night Shift Patrick is dead to me. There really is no excuse for his behavior or I guess more accurately, the writing of his character. After overhearing Robin order Leyla to restock a supply closet, he accused his ex of reacting unprofessionally to the fact that he was sleeping with the nurse. Like all Night Shift episodes, there was so much wrong with this scene:

#1 - Yes, Robin may have been out of line, but her comment was the most believable thing I've heard on this show. No matter what your line of work, if you're the newbie, nine times out of ten, you're going to get treated like crap.

#2- Patrick's a hypocrite (and as you know, I hate hypocrites) because how professional is it to offer special treatment to a student nurse just because she's putting out?

#3- The fact that Patrick's sleeping with someone else. It's been like two weeks since his breakup with Robin! I would expect this from old school Patrick, but not post in love Patrick.

#4- Where's the HIV public service announcement? Patrick and Robin weren't even sleeping together on General Hospital when we had to hear about the risk and precautions of that possible relationship EVERYDAY. Seriously, spermicidal jelly is my most hated word in the General Hospital dialect, right along with counter agent, paternity test and father/mother of my children. I understand the PSAs were necessary because execs had to show they were being responsible, so why are they suddenly stopping? I thought this was supposed to be a medically focused show so where are my statistics? Where's the mention of the risks involved with the fact that Patrick has been sleeping with an HIV positive woman for the last year and a half? I know this is alternate reality (add that to my list of hated GH words), but you can't say that mean's Robin's HIV isn't still intact because you, dear writers, reminded me that she bonded with Stacey because of their HIV!!

I think Robin said something about the situation being sleazy and that earns a big, fat HELL YES from me. This show has turned into a giant sleaze fest and as such, is no longer entertaining. The "stars" of the show had few scenes last night, but if they're going to continue acting like jerks, I'd rather not see them and be left with the few happy memories of them I have left.

The entire episode was painful and hands down the most disturbing part was Spinelli worrying about becoming a sex addict. Really? Of all the things you could be concerned about, this is the issue you chose to fret over? What about your addiction to pot? Instead of worrying about your weed intake and how it's damaged your brain, you're worried about possibly becoming addicted to sex after one roll on the OR table? The only amusing aspect of this entire subplot was Jason basically running in the other direction in discomfort. By the way, props to Steve Burton's hilarious expressions.

My laughter over his facial contortions almost made me forget that fact that the unintelligible cyber slacker got his first piece of actions from a killer - almost.

The episode's title shouldn't have been "Fools in Love" because the only person showing an emotion that remotely resembled love was Robin toward that little baby, but I'll get to that in a minute. The title should have been "Addicts" or "When Good Ideas Go Terribly, Terribly Wrong And Cause the Audience Permanent Emotional Distress." Well, that's a little long, so we'll stick to "Addicts" and heck, they could even play Enrique Iglesias' "Addicted" during the customary montage, just in case the writers feared that they didn't get their point across. Everyone's favorite addicts, Kelly and Andy, were turning into the hospital's next dysfunctional couple as they traded insults about their respective addictions:

Kelly: You're sick, Andy. There's no way in hell I'm going to let you treat my patients. You could nod off and paralyze some poor woman.

Andy: While you're sleeping with her husband in the waiting room.

Kelly: Fine. Go back to your room. Hook yourself up for another dose and when they find you dead, I'll be sure to get laid in your honor.

Ah, amore.

When Andy decided to self-medicate during his shift, Jolene screwed up his dosage, but Kelly saved him just in the nick of time. While I'm talking about the angel of death, I need to address something that left me a tad befuddled. While Jolene was attempting to break into Andy's room, Jason caught her and she deflected his suspicions. What I don't understand is how Jason, the greatest sniffer outer of truth, couldn't spot a lying murderer when she's standing right in front of him in bright, pink scrubs.

In the category of things that don't make sense is Toussiant's test results. Patrick just now got them one week after the singer turned janitor collapsed in the middle of the hospital? Pretty sure Jolene isn't needed to make GH look bad. The staff seems to be doing a good job of it all on their own. Another confusing aspect of the show was Ford continuing to act like something akin to a human being. For example, he lifted Regina's suspension. Speaking of her, what was up with the "credit to [the] race" comment? Listen to me writers. Next time you want to take on race issues, don't. Ford also showed what I think was compassion when Lainey's father died. What the hell, show? Stop screwing with my universe! I am so not enjoying this "up is down" crap.

In a not so shocking turn of events, Lainey's dad finally moved on thanks to some assistance from Cody who shut off his machines. I was tempted to feel sad or moved by the scene because it reminded me of Anthony Geary's Emmy-winning portrayal of Luke turning off Lucky's ventilator (seriously, if you watch those scenes and feel nothing, you're not human). But then I saw Lainey's getting arrested for her father's murder in next week's previews and I skipped touched and went straight to annoyed.

Considering the crap she's been handed, Kimberly McCullough should be given a standing ovation for what she's done with the incredibly wanting material. Anna/Rebecca's daddy Curtis randomly runs through the hospital toward the end of the show screaming that Robin has stolen his baby and that he wants "the bitch arrested." Turns out that Robin has not stolen the baby, but has taken her to the roof where they can say their goodbyes and she absolutely sold that scene.

Robin: Have an amazing life, Anna Rebecca "Charmed One" Sloan. Believe in yourself. Um, learn from your mistakes. And don't be afraid to give your heart. And if it gets broken, don't be afraid to give it again. In other words, do as I say and not as I do. Oh, God. Now I really do sound like your mother. (Jason enters the rooftop) I knew that someone was going to find me up here. I'm glad that it was you.

Jason: Curtis is, is flipping out.

Robin: I know. I was going to bring her back before anyone noticed, it's just that ... well, this is the last time I'm going to get to hold her. I just don't want it to end.

Jason: I know. You try to memorize the feel of them breathing and the shape of their face so...

Robin: Yeah.

Jason: ...you have something to hold onto when they're gone.

Robin: Does it work? (Jason smiles ruefully) There's this theory that uh, early childhood memories come back to you when you're older in your dreams. I just hope that if she ever dreams about me, she knows how much I love her.

And she delivers this while she's holding a baby in her arms...

...and crying.

In a word - heartbreaking.

Yet somehow, no matter how awesome McCullough's performance was in that one scene, it can't make up for the mess that was the rest of the show. Oh well. Life is full of disappointments and I guess this is just one more of them.

Only 2 episodes to go. I say we throw a party to celebrate the death of this travesty. Anyone care to join me?

GH: Night Shift Episode 10 - "Falling Star"

This week's Night Shift was another hour of my life wasted, technically it was more like 38 minutes (thank you fast forward button inventor!). Anyone have his address? I should really send him some flowers. Alright, so I'll start criticizing, I mean critiquing in a moment, but first, I am actually going to give out a compliment - please try to contain your shock.

This week's random GH guest star was Diane and while I was pleased with her performance, I want to take this time to point out that the powers that instead of wasting airtime on all these NS and GH newbies, they could saved time and money by using deserving vets that play existing character who actually work at the hospital. For example, how about Monica? I think it's safe to say she knows her way around the hospital, wouldn't you?

Okay, so Diane was brought in by Jason to help out Robin with legal baby issues. Anna's real father, a creep by the way, showed up and wants to claim his daughter. Something about this guy seems off, perhaps the fact that
a) He said he didn't want kids, yet here he is
b)Stacey didn't tell him she was pregnant
c)Anna's inheriting some money that could go to him
Then again, it could just be the actor because if it's one thing this show hasn't been lacking, it's creepy actors. Anywho, Robin was trying to find a way to be a part of Anna's life which we know won't happen because noone on GH ever gets what they deserve (good or bad). I was glad to see Diane because it was nice to have someone who actually seems to be on Robin's side.

After she apologetically said there was nothing she could do, she got up to leave and as the camera pans over, I spot Epiphany. I think to myself that her and Diane have never shared scenes and it would probably be interesting because they're both so opinionated and then BAM! It's like someone ACTUALLY listened to me because then it happened. Apparently fashion isn't the only thing Diane is all fangurly about. She caught sight of Mr. Dubois and recognized him as a former singer for the Saints and then this went down:

Diane: OMG! I'm like your biggest fan!
Toussaint: :::what the hell kind of lawyer comes to the hospital in the middle of the night?:::

Epiphany: :::What is that bitch doing talking to my man?:::
Um, just what do you think you are doing? Can't you see he's busy?


Toussaint: :::Uh oh:::
Jason: :::Oh s&@#! Here we go:::

Diane: Now listen here girlfriend, I am just as big a fan as you are and I can talk to Mr. Dubois all night if I want to. (seriously, she was doing the "uh uh girlfriend" head bob and finger wave)

Epiphany: Oh girl, I know you didn't just talk back to me in MY hospital.

Epiphany: Now you listen here...

Diane: Excuse me...

(indistinguishable yelling while Jason scurries to the nearest exit)

::More yelling:::

Okay, so maybe I took some artistic liberties with the dialogue, but you get the idea. It was a sup rising dose of hilariousness which was good considering the theme of the night was awkward and painful. Just what does that mean you ask? Well I'll tell you.

Exhibit A: Spinelli having sex with Jolene. No, I did not make that up. How twisted do you think I am? Spinelli caught Jolene trying to sneak into a room and to cover, she started going on and on about how she liked Spinelli, but she couldn't say anything because he was a patient and it was inappropriate and some other lame lie (what kind of a spy is she?). Then she drug him into OR 4, (the one that no one likes as Spinelli informed us for the umpteenth time) and awkwardly started making out. It wasn't graphic, but the mere suggestion has left me scarred for life. You think I can sue the GH execs for all of the emotional damage this show has caused me and thousands like me? I should look into that.

Regina coping with her abortion was awkward too. Lupe, the pregnant girl (wow, this wasn't a popular theme was it?) a couple episodes ago came in and had her baby. Her boyfriend and two friends showed up and manhandled Kelly. I didn't see the purpose (not that NS has a purpose except to raise blood pressures of soap fans everywhere) until Jason swooped in and with an assist from Cody, saved the day. I think Jason should just quit the mob and become a full-time superhero. Can't you see him in a pair of tights and a cape? Hee!

After Jason mopped the floor with those guys (hah! pun!) Kelly delivered Lupe's baby and Regina was supposed to be helping, but instead her distracted state of mind caused her to mess up royally and get put on probation because of her mistake. I'm not at all trying to down play the serious emotional repercussions of an abortion, like all of the other newbies, I feel nothing for Regina. It's not because they're new, it's because their backstories were explained in 2 seconds flat.

Later on, Leo overhears Regina's problems and then tries to cheer her up by letting her help out with some cases despite her probation. I can't tell if it's because Leo knows what it's like to screw up or if someone behind the scenes thought "Hey, let's put these two in a relationship. This week they'll talk, next week they'll sleep together, the following week, they'll break up. Great idea fellas! Let's cram as much crap as we can into the remaining three episodes no matter how ridiculous it seems. High five!"

Sorry, I drifted. Where was I? Ah yes. Nothing says awkward quite like climbing on top of the nurses' station in your skivvies and yelling wildly at your co-workers. In case you were wondering, this was Kelly's reaction to Ford and Col. Sanders telling her that Pablo's suit was being dropped because it was settled out of court. She was pissed that everyone believed Pablo's story and that Col. Sanders basically called her a slut. Throwing the nearly naked tantrum was her dealing with that and it was quite amusing until her hysterics ended in her collapsing into sobs. Andy was nearby and stepped in by throwing his lab coat over her and ushering her away. It was rather touching and I think they could be a cute couple, if this show didn't have such bad writing. In the following heart-to-heart scene, Kelly said she can't remember the last time she enjoyed sex (remember she recently slept with Andy so, ouch!) and that sex with random guys is a rush because it's the only time she feels in control or something. That talk, in a word - awkward.

After helping chase off the bad guys, Cody made a pit stop in Mr. Winters' room and the audience learned that the Alzheimer patient is only being kept alive by machines and that he's probably going to be shipped to County. With as much crap that's gone on at GH, is County really that bad? I mean who could it be worse than a hospital that has a murdering nurse on the loose? I digress. When Lainey spotted Cody, she just wrote him a prescription so he'd go away (inappropriate!) and at Cody's response was to react offended. Lainey realized he really did want to know about her dad's condition so she filled him in and he points out that the ventilators isn't what her father would have wanted which, judging by the previews, will be addressed next week.

Perhaps the most awkward interaction of the night was with Patrick and his latest favorite nurse. Here's the weird thing, I accused Leyla of coming onto Patrick last week, and she did, but this week, she was backing off and he was initiating things with her. What's worse was some of the stuff he was saying to her was a summary of things he's said to Robin in the past. Party foul, writers! Party foul! That was definitely hitting below the belt. But wait, it gets better.

By the end of the show, Leyla's changed her mind about keeping her distance from Patrick and the two of them are making out and heading for where Spinelli was headed earlier in the evening with Jolene. Thankfully, someone had mercy and the audience did not have to see that act come to fruition because the camera cut to Toussaint collapsing (falling star, get it?) and Epiphany yelling to page Dr. Drake. I've never been more happy to see a soap character faint in my life.

Night Shift Patrick is permanently on my list and this week sealed the deal. As if those vomit-worthy scenes weren't annoying enough, in the previews, Patrick is yelling at Robin something to the effect of "...taking it out on her because I'm sleeping with her." Um, say what? Wow, nothing says I'll love you forever like taking less than one week to move on from the so-called love of your life. I would expect this from old Patrick, but not from the guy who has matured so much emotionally in the last 2 years. I just don't understand why GH execs thought it would good idea to change these characters so drastically for this series. Actually, I'm not sure I want to understand because I'm thinking there must be some severely twisted logic behind all this.

The only bright side I can see to all of this, is that NS isn't supposed to directly affect GH. So once that last episode mercifully airs and my last NS review has been penned, I am going to forget that this thing ever happened. There's been an awful lot of scarring scenes and I'm it will be difficult to block out some of those images but I'm sure my good friends and Mr. Daniels and Mr. Cuervo will be happy to assist me.

P.S. : T-minus 3 episodes and counting

GH: Night Shift Episode 9 - "Gutter Ball"

If Night Shift has taught me anything, it’s that you can be a complete idiot and still get to write a television show (a sad discover) and that I should always trust my gut. The former is self-explanatory, the latter refers to my initial reaction over this show. When I first heard about Night Shift I thought wow, this is dumb. because:

#1 spin-offs never work unless you count Laverne and Shirley and
#2 didn’t GH already try this with Port Charles and didn’t it tank?

A few months later I heard Robin and Patrick would be the stars so then I thought

them + cable = hot

Then I heard that what happens on one show doesn’t affect the other and thought weird, but okay. And then I heard Steve Burton was coming aboard and I returned to my original diagnosis that this show, beyond a reasonable doubt, was going to suck. Last night pretty much proved my point.

I have never been so angry about a television program in my entire life. There is no word that Webster could supply that could accurately describe how furiously enrgaed I was and how much I hate, deplore, despise, abhor and loathe that poor excuse of a show. I seriously had to get a night of sleep in order to lessen my anger long enough to form a coherent sentence that was more than a string of expletives.

Screw all the random subplots, this week I’m focusing on the supposed stars of the show, or as I like to refer to them, the imposters.

If you were a Night Shift viewer who had never watched General Hospital, would you like Patrick and Robin? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t. Since the first episode the only substantial scenes they’ve shared involved arguing and yelling.

So for all of you fortunate people who were lucky enough to miss the evening's debacle, the major highlights are:

Patrick & co. performed rogue surgery on Lainey’s dad
Robin was not part of the OR team because she had to meet with the social worker
Robin was given permission to temporarily take the baby home
Patrick and Robin broke up
Robin found out the baby’s daddy showed up to claim her
Patrick kissed Leyla

Naturally you’d think that I would be angry over the break up, but I wasn’t. It’s a soap and it comes with the territory. It was a bittersweet moment and I think both actors did a great job with what they were given, but I couldn’t get completely immersed in the scene because they already aired the whole thing in this week's commercial. Besides that, it was too short and Patrick just sat there like a mute.

Robin: We need to figure this out.
Patrick Yeah.
Robin: I just want you for a minute not to be defensive okay? Neither will I. I belive in fate. I believe that something bigger than you and I put this child in my life. I mean she shouldn't even be here right now. She should be going home with her mother, a single woman that's HIV positive. That's what Stacey would have wanted. You know what? Maybe I'm second best, but I am the closest thing that little girl has to her mother's strength.
Patrick:You should be nobody's second best.
Robin:I'm not ignoring your feelings. I didn't think I was ready either, but I held that little girl in my arms and I knew I couldn't walk away. I don't want to change you, I don't want to force you into something that doesn't make you feel comfortable, but I honestly don't think I could live with myself when I'm here, ready to love her.
Patrick:Then you know what you have to do.
Robin:I'm not choosing her over you, I just know that you'll get along fine without me, but I'm not sure Anna should or can.
(Patrick kisses Robin's cheek. Robin walks away in tears.)
Patrick:Robin, you're going to be a wonderful mother.


I felt like Patrick didn’t even try to fight for Robin. Maybe the writers were shooting for a " he loves her enough to let her go" scene but they fell woefully short because the surgeon just appeared lazy and almost apathetic. GH Patrick would have fought for Robin before letting her go. I felt like NS Patrick gave up too quickly. The fact that I have to distinguish between the two shows is a major issue I have, but I will address that later.

Timing has always been an issue with me on this show. Case and point in one scene Lainey was in the locker room chatting with colleagues, in the very next she was walking off of the elevator. I’m no art school graduate, but to me, that just seems like sloppy editing and poor planning. The timing that particularly irked me was the shift between lockerroom Patrick and rooftop Patrick. Lockerroom Patrick was sincere as he and Robin broke up and for the first time in forever I saw the real Patrick. He was devastated that Robin left and you could tell by the look on his face and the tears in his eyes. Three seconds later in the customary ending montage, he’s on the roof flirting with Leyla and then proceeds to kiss her because he "wants to." Back up. He just broke up with the supposed love of his life, yet he's able to kiss the pink tramp without a second thought? Yeah, that screams love.

I know, I know, the writers are going to be all well, "Patrick’s a playboy and he’s hurt." Um, no that doesn’t fly. You just spent the last year and halftwo years trying to convince me that Patrick is a changed man and only has eyes for Robin and that her jealousy is completely unfounded.

All I have to say is a big, fat B.S. to that !!!

Truthfully this would have been easier to take if Patrick and Leyla haven't been flirting for weeks. I could have looked at this as an impulsive reaction to being hurt, but now, I don't know. The lead into this makes it look pretty bad. I’m sure they’ll try and justify this later with an oh well Patrick and Robin weren’t technically together when he kissed Leyla so it wasn't cheating which to me, at this moment, is not even the point. The point is the time it took for Patrick to revert to form. It makes him look like an unfeeling ass, which I have been told countless times by YOU,writers, is not so. Herein lies my biggest gripe with Night Shift - the fundamental shift in the personalities of the characters.

I don’t care if this is alternate reality or whatever the hell you want to call it. Why as a GH viewer should I be punished for watching both shows? I watch soaps because I know the characters and I have a sense for who they are since I see them basically 5 days a week 52 weeks out of the year. I’m comfortable watching them. Why would you completely change that? To benefit a new viewer? How exactly does that work? I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t. Number 1, you’re alienating long time viewers who have come to expect certain things from these characters. Number 2, I can guarantee that 99% of the viewers watching Night Shift tune in because they watch GH. And number 3, any unfortunate new viewer who may have stumbled across said show, would have changed the channel in the first five minutes, because as mentioned before THE CHARACTERS ARE COMPLETELY UNLIKEABLE.

I will reiterate that I completely understand that drama and angst come with the territory, but this is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t get why the writers feel the need to be so completely self-destructive with characters all of the time or why they are so uncreative. A third-party is an incredibly unoriginal storyline and it’s a shame to waste something so lame on two great actors playing two characters with such interesting backgrounds that could be an endless source of intriguing future storylines. Why must the writers create another heartless bitch (i.e. Leyla)? She has been after Patrick for weeks which is not alright when someone is involved with another person. Adultery/cheating is so old and I can pretty much guarantee that no one enjoys watching it.

I am back to counting down the days to the end of this God-forsaken show, but I'm still a tad peeved because it looks like this crap will continue on General Hospital once Night Shift is mercifully ended. There are rumors flying (although it may have been confirmed by now) that Leyla will cross over to General Hospital and I honestly do not think I be able to swallow this crap on daytime. And how is this supposed to work anyway? Can we pretend that the NS stuff didn't happen? I mean GH Jason was in jail while NS Jason was a janitor so would it follow that NS Patrick is an ass and GH Patrick is sweet? What about the breakup? Since it happened on NS then are they still together on GH? If they're expecting storylines to crossover, then will they break Robin and Patrick up on GH just to even things out? Two breakups? Oh goody!

In all seriousness I do have one question and if anyone has an answer for me, I would love to hear it:

What the hell did we do to deserve this type of torture?

GH: Night Shift Episode 8 - "Employee of the Month"

The planets must be realigned or whatever it is that was wrong with me last week must have been fixed because I thought this week's episode of Night Shift sucked, royally. Pacing, dialogue, acting, it was all off. This is so disappointing because of how promising the last few episodes had been. I honestly wouldn't mind if the show stopped airing today and I never saw the remaining episodes. Television shows are supposed to offer you an escape from the crapiness of everyday life. If my life sucks, why would I want to escape to a crappy fictional world?

Let's start at the top with perhaps the biggest WTF? moment in television history. After several weeks, we FINALLY discover Maxie is indeed still alive. As Leyla and Jolene exit her room, I think I heard Leyla mumble something about Maxie being in defib for 20 minutes. I am no medical professional, but if that's really an alright amount of time to be shocking someone, how can Patrick honestly say he did everything for Stacey last week when his resuscitation attempts took less than a minute? I'm just curious.

Turns out Maxie now has an abscess in her heart and Dr. Leo Julien owns 6 MP3 players loaded with nothing but playing the guitar how tos - odd to say the least. As devastating as this news may have been I was oh so pleased to see Georgie and Mac. After virtually disappearing from the GH canvas recently I was happy to see that they were in fact still alive and hadn't been pushed into the Port Charles harbor along with Lorenzo Alcazar and the GH execs simply decided not to tell me.

For some reason, Dr. Julien doesn't want to perform the operation so he tries to call Monica Quartermaine who's unavailable. Now this is just ridiculous because how is it that all these GH veterans who are actual doctors can't seem to appear on Night Shift? Wouldn't using the actors who are already on the payroll saved execs time wasted on casting? Then again, maybe Leslie Charleson knows what she's doing. Would you want your name associated with the crapfest that is this show?

Dr. Leo eventually agrees to do the surgery only to freeze up and subject the audience to another cheesy use of effects as he has visions of losing someone on the table. Now Maxie didn't die (I think), but her body was put through the ringer over the course of the evening as a sleepy Dr. Archer intubated her esophagus and a nurse "accidentally" gives her the wrong IV bag.

The mysterious figure who's been behind all of the random "accidents" in the hospital was revealed this week and it turns out it was ................................................. Jolene.

Yawn.

I wasn't surprised (come on, "Angel of Mercy"?) and I didn't really care, but I was disappointed. Why couldn't it have been Leyla? That girl has creepy written all over her face and I actually could have gotten behind watching the actress sink her teeth into a crazy, psychobitch storyline. Why must you take away all my fun Night Shift writers? Why?

So why is Jolene killing people you ask? You really care? :::sigh::: Alright well I'll fill you in on what was said.

Colonel Sanders makes his appearance at GH and terrorizes Dr. Ford, who was introduced by the scrawny lawyer dude as "acting Chief of Staff." Um, excuse me?!! When the hell did that happen and can I just say that that makes absolutely zero sense given that Monica Q is still around (she still is around isn't she?)? I would think she would be the prime candidate because I believe she was COF at one point and wouldn't her appointment to the position be a nice way to honor her husband's memory? Oh, that's right, nothing about this show makes sense. Moving along.........

Okay, Mr. Southern Medcam threatens to take over General Hospital and despite that he's about one bucket of chicken away from becoming KFC's newest spokesperson, I was willing to give the character a small chance, mostly because he seems to annoy Ford which always goes over well with me. He looked like he had potential with this little line:

Col. Sanders: "Where I'm from we call it being up to your neck in manure. Hah!"

But, by the end of the show, he was the latest person to be added to my list because it was revealed that he's been having Jolene setup these "accidents" so Medcam would have a reason to move in on General Hospital.

Col. Sanders: "Medcam appreciates your efforts. We are dedicated to quality patient care. Our mission is to put patients first. [There are?] so many institutions like this one, staffed with so called professionals who have gotten complacent, who have no accountability, who have lost sight of their purpose..."

Killing patients so you can take over a hospital and can declare yourself a winner in a contest of whose is bigger? Yeah, that's definitely all about what the patient needs. There's actually someone who I would trust my life with less than the professionals of GH. Who'd have thunk it? Some how I am constantly surprised at the ease of which the writers of this show can write such twisted characters. It really is disturbing.

Want to know something else that's disturbing? Having sex in a morgue next to a dead body. Yup. That's how Kelly decided to deal with her frustrations of being taunted by Pablo about the sexual assault suit and overhearing Leyla call her a nymphomaniac (who knew such a big word was in her vocabulary?).

Class -y.

I know you are all completely riveted by how amazing this show was ::cough::sarcasm::cough::, but I wanted to step back from the awesome drama and mention a little funny.

Spinelli was back to providing me with comical relief this week as he came to the hospital in hopes of getting a date with Jolene. Jason apparently had the night off, so Spinelli practiced his lines with Toussaint.

Spinelli: Sweet Angel of Mercy, I, I kneel before you, ha, naked ... metaphorically naked, with heart unguarded, um, to to propose, a date, a date, um, an, an an evening that will live on in memory. Uh, drinks, dinner, video games.
Toussaint: Video games?
Spinelli: Yeah, well I, I mean I want to impress the fair Jolene on our first official date. Maybe ,maybe I should say our, our only date. But she, she will be mine once she sees my prowess with a joystick. (laughter!)
Toussaint: The words should go through your brain before they go through your mouth.

Word.

After the former singer turned nighttime janitor finished listening to Spinelli, he dealt with a stalker in the form of Epiphany. Sorry, but she was creeping me out just a tiny bit. She spent the entire night trying to give Toussaint a present which turned out to be a employee of the month plaque. Hm, just like the episode's title. Wow, are these people smart or what?

Something I did enjoy watching this week (shocker I know) was Epiphany's son Stan pretending to be a doctor in order to help out with Lainey's ill father. Two glaring problems though:

1. When Mr. Winters shoved his daughter into the medicine cabinets, her fear looked completely fake. For some reason I thought Kent King was a better actress. Was I wrong?
2. Patrick being all "I don't know how to examine him because he won't sit still" was ridiculous. Ever heard of a sedative?

Apparently not because Lainey decided the only way her father could receive a checkup was if Stan pretended to be her ex-boyfriend, a doctor her father trusted who now lives in Seattle (hm..... I'm sure the writers just randomly picked that city and it has nothing to do with that other medical drama that is filmed on the lot next to them). It's no secret how I feel about Ford, but I was pretty much seeing red when he said Lainey should take her father to County for this "unnecessary procedure" and that his heart goes out to her. Then when Patrick attacks Ford he asks the neurosurgeon if he thinks he enjoys this, all while wearing what looks like a grin. If Richard Gant was trying to stifle a laugh during those scenes, the powers that be should have forked out the money to shoot another take because know the character looks like a sadistic jerk (not that that wasn't my opinion of him already).

I have a soft spot for Alzheimer storylines and that probably explains why I felt sad watching Mr. Winters' talk with Cody (he was at GH for bandages, but my guess is he did it himself so he could go in there and score some pills) even though Cody creeps me out.

Mr. Winters: You don't know what it's like.
Cody: A struggle that seems to have no end, no purpose.
Mr. Winters: Why fight that battle?
Cody: For the people you're charged to protect and defend.
Mr. Winters: When you can't anymore?
Cody: Let them, protect and defend you. Allow them that honor, sir.

And now we've come to the part of the program where it's time to discuss the stars of this show. Fair warning - this won't be pretty.

Apparently the powers that be want Robin to look like as much an ineffectual doctor as Patrick because the only times the audience see her is inside or nearby the nursery as the bandaged Barrett woman looked on. Yup, she's back and silent so no news there.

This week we were treated to more staring between Robin and Patrick as they danced around their issues. This really is getting ridiculous. This is not the 1920s and I did not sign up to watch a silent film. Heck, even those came with words.

When Patrick and Robin decided to use their words like grown ups, then ended up arguing again. To Patrick's chagrin, Robin decides to name the baby Anna and mentions wanting to adopt her which of course launches him into a fit about how Robin has an "irrational attachment" to the baby and that he's not sure if it's due to her "biological clock" or what, but she's become a "walking hormone." Isn't he quite the charmer? Be still my beating heart.

I'm not saying that Patrick doesn't have a point about Robin being too personally involved in Stacey's case or suddenly wanting to have kids so adamantly, but what I am saying is that I'm irritated by what he's not saying. He asked Robin if she knew that her choice wasn't only to going to affect her and what he really needs to say is "I'm scared to death of being a father. Can we step back and talk about this?" Instead of screaming and talking things out rationally with Robin he's pouting to Leyla who offers not only an ear, but a comforting hand, literally. Two actually. I'm not opposed to a friend comfortingly holding your hand or whatever, but it is blatantly obvious that Leyla wants Patrick and as a former playboy, he should recognize the signs. I am just annoyed that the powers that be decided to go the traditional route of adding a third party into the mix. I've always thought that Robin and Patrick were such unique characters that the typical third party triangle crap was unnecessary and I'm disappointed that all signs seem to be pointing in that direction.

Then we have Robin. No one is completely faultless here, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stick up for her. By the end of the show she had already signed a petition for adoption since Stacey's baby conveniently has no family. She must know that this is going to make things worse for her and Patrick. I just want some real discussion. Is that too much to ask for? Having a baby is pretty much a deal breaker and I just want to see them make up their minds before moving forward.

What's sad is that these storylines could have been really good if they had been given the amount of care and attention they deserved. I think what's even sadder is that after how awful this week was, I'll still tune in next week because I feel like now that I've started this journey, I have to see it through. One things for sure, there won't be a lack of things to complain about. Won't you come back and join me?

GH: Night Shift Episode 7 - "Mothers' Day"

Okay, so that issue of sleep deprivation I mentioned that was impairing my judgement of General Hospital, apparently is still in effect because I actually enjoyed this week's Night Shift episode.

This show was a continuation of last week's episode (a clear violation of the rules the GH execs set) with Jason trying to save Stacey and her baby while everyone else is anxiously waiting for a mysterious singing janitor and his mobster hacker son (I'm unspoiled, but can you honestly tell me you don't think they'll end up related?) try to get the elevator up and running.


Outside the elevator Dr. Scorpio is still nervously waiting for the elevator to open when here comes the annoying Ms. Sneed sans cane. It's a shame too, because I think that cane could have been put to good use, you know, like shoving it up her already tight butt because I think she's a total word that rhymes with snitch. So the witchy beanpole starts going on and on about how Stacey and her baby are already dead when Dr. Ford comes up and tells her to back off. In fact, during the entire episode he seemed....................................almost human. Alright, that's it! Call Shadybrook and tell them I'm on my way. I must be certifiable if I think Ford is tolerable.



Once the doors open, Stacey is wheeled away from the bloody mess that is the elevator and a random nurse takesthe baby away. Spinelli named Stacey's daughter "the charmed one" and I found the title endearing. Again, a clear indication of my lack of sleep. If you were watching the show and thought, "Hmm. Stacey made it to the OR so everything will be fine now," you clearly have never watched General Hospital. Stacey ended up with some complication called placenta accreta which of course could only be solved by a hysterectomy because you know, that's what they do on this show. No woman can have a normal pregnancy and about half of Port Charles is barren. I'm starting to believe that one of the higher ups has a deep seated issue about pregnant women. Maybe I should send them a number of a good shrink?


Patrick was not been making me very happy lately, but I will say this for him. The look on his face when he saw all of the blood in the elevator was chilling and I appreciate that he went to find Robin, although I would have appreciated a little backup when Kelly laid into Robin saying "this whole conversation has been out of line." Um, so sleeping with random male colleagues is totally not out of line? What's that saying? I think it involves a pot and a black kettle.


As if Kelly's dialogue didn't annoy me enough already, she goes on to say "the C-section was practically textbook." Somehow nothing about a hitman and his goofy hacker sidekick performing a C-section by following instructions from a Web site just doesn't scream "textbook." Call me odd. Then again, maybe Spinelli was reading the online version of "Surgery For Dummies." I'm sure they make that right?


Surprisingly, Stacey did wake up after surgery and Robin was right there to introduce Stacey to her new daughter in a very adorable scene. Patrick stood back looking awkward and scared, but he earns points for not opening his mouth and inserting his foot as has become the trend on this show.


In a not so shocking turn of events, Stacey flatlined suddenly and Patrick tried to resucitate her to no avail as Robin frightenedly watched. Honestly the whole scene left me speechless because there was just so much emotion there. When Stacey didn't respond and Patrick tried to call the time of death, Robin attempted to grab the paddles and Patrick had to push his girlfriend out into the hallway and then we had this lovely exchange:


Robin: She's a mother, you can't give up on her!
Patrick: I did not give up! I did everything I could and she bled out.
Robin: You wrote Stacey off before you even started.
Patrick: I am not going to sit there and watch you shock a corpse until she fries!
Robin: You son of a bitch!
Patrick: Patients die. No matter what we do, no matter how much they deserve to live, they die. Now if you can't except that, you don't belong in medicine!


Even though Robin called Patrick an SOB before that final line, she still gets the points because that was a cruel thing to say. I'm pretty sure that Robin Scorpio of all people knows that people die whether they deserve to or not. I'm not saying what Patrick said isn't true, but when the brilliant Dr. Drake lost his first few patients, Robin was supportive instead of throwing the harsh reality of being a doctor in his face. Patrick, Patrick, Patrick. :::shakes head::: Here I was ready to give you another chance and you disappoint me. Such a waste of all the pretty.


I'm going to interrupt this emotionally tense situation by handing out the awesomely honest award of the week to Regina.


Leyla: You're not a nurse....yet, anymore than I am. In fact, your grades are lower than mine which explains your whole pathetic agenda.
Regina: I'm sorry I ever wasted 5 seconds feeling sorry for you. You deserve to crash and burn you selfish bitch.


Preach on sister, preach on! I'm not sure if it's the actress or the way the character is supposed to be played, but Leyla does come off as stuck up and I have yet to feel sorry for her.


I didn't get my usualy giggles this week from Spinelli, but from Dr. Julian. Aside from wearing a tie dye scrub cap during surgery, he listed off the injuries he treated (1 GSW, 3 stabs, and guy with a pipe stuck somewhere) like it was just another day at the office. I believe there's a joke that starts this way. You know you're in Port Charles when...


Another brief, but noteworthy event was the Stan/Epiphany interaction. Epiphany surprisingly did not lecture her son and he returned the favor by giving her a sort of compliment about everyone not being as good as her, but they can try. The truce was sweet, but I'm sure it won't last long.


Speaking of supporting actors, everyone at the hospital seemed to be taking turns being affected by Stacey's death. Touissant had a private breakdown witht the circuitboard while Kelly lamented to Andy that doing a C-section 3 weeks ago could have saved Stacey (um, pretty sure Robin mentioned that to you, but why would you listen to her?) Spinelli lamented to Jolene about being the one to jam the elevator and I actually felt badly for him. Bradford Anderson plays the goofy so convincingly that I'm always so surprised when he does serious so well. Jolene comforted him by going on and on about how heroic he and Jason were, as did a number of other people which got me thinking, did Robin get this much credit when she performed a C-section with no supplies in the middle of a collapsed train tunnel almost 2 years ago? What? You thought this little incident was original? Well, you would be wrong. Robin Scorpio delivered Molly Lansing with no Internet, no light and no scalpel, oh but wait a minute; that was on General Hospital and this is some alternate universe called Night Shift. I keep forgetting that the execs can break or follow the rules whenever they feel like it.


So while everyone was feeling badly or praising Jason, Robin went on an apology spree that would have put a Nobel peace prize winner to shame. Can we seriously get this girl an award for constantly being the bigger person and admitting her faults especially when no one else can seem to do the same? One stop on the Robin apology tour was Jason and I actually enjoyed their scenes. When Jason asked if it was his fault that Stacey died, I was so struck by how vulnerable he sounded. As Robin let down her guard and Jason offered her some comfort, I was just happy that at least someone seems to be there for Robin, especially since her boyfriend seems too scared to do it himself. I will admit this here and now and if you ever mention it again, I will deny it, but I actually teared up during these scenes. I do not cry, but Kimberly McCullough made me choke up. That's how convincing a found her performance so gold star for her!


The show wrapped up with the customary montage that involved the pink ladies taking Stacey's body to the morgue, Ford joining the Jason Morgan fan club, Jason desperately running to the hospital roof and breaking down, Robin watching Stacey being wheeled away while Patrick silently watches from afar, Robin holding Stacey's baby girl and when Patrick sees her he stares uncomfortably.


The screen faded to black........................................and that where the problems began. That's right, it was time for the previews.


First up we have Robin and Patrick arguing. Surprise, surprise.

Next, after 2 weeks of waiting we learn that Maxie is still alive, unless Dr. Julien is talking to her ghost, but I'm guessing she's not an apparition given that she's not wearing a ridiculous track suit.


Then Colonel Sanders states that Medcam is going to buy General Hospital and while this is supposed to be serious, I find myself bursting into a fit of laughter. The guy looks like Colonel Sanders and I know I will never be able to take anything he says seriously.


Finally, Lainey's dad shoves her into a cabinet.

So, nothing too awfully exciting and then my insomniac self is up in the wee hours of the morning with Soapnet on when I see this little ad:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IAroO78bjMg

Now that's a preview! Isn't that the type of reward I deserve after losing an hour of my life that I can never get back to a show that has the potential to be down right awful? For being so dedicated, it's the least I deserve. I certainly did nothing to earn this:

GH: Night Shift Episode 6 - "Love's Labors"

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I thought this week’s episode of Night Shift was quite an improvement and dare I say, somewhat enjoyable? Then again, after hitting rock bottom in recent weeks, the show couldn’t have gotten any worse, right? What am I saying? Of course it could have. The geniuses of GH are behind this show after all.

This week, the show was told in a flashback format. It opened up with Robin looking on in fear as Patrick and a few other random nurses tried to resuscitate a patient. The camera work was sort of cheesy, but compared to the freakin’ cheese fest that was last week’s ending montage, I’m willing to let it slide. Throughout the episode, doctors and nurses were brought into Ford’s office to speak with an attorney about the events of the evening. By the way, would an attorney really rush to the hospital at that time of night? To hear Dr. Ford tell it, GH is falling apart so I very much doubt they would have enough money for a high-priced lawyer.

The night revolved around Stacey, the HIV pregnant woman, and Robin’s connection to her. It was nice to see Dr. Scorpio whose presence seems to have been missing recently. Stacey came in complaining of abdominal pain and asked for Dr. Lee and Dr. Scorpio. Regina stands there all calm and pleasantly sayis she’ll page them while Stacey writhes in pain in front of her. Why the hell didn’t she get her a damn wheelchair or something? Isn’t helping the patient like Nursing 101? Once Stacey manages to get to Dr. Lee, Kelly informs her that she has had a placental abruption and they’ll need to perform a C-section to which Stacey asks if Kelly can do that. Hee! Apparently word has gotten around town that Lorenzo Alcazar delivered more babies than Kelly.

In case you weren’t already questioning Dr. Lee’s skills as a doctor, maybe this scene will help you out. After giving Stacey the 411, she leaves her alone, grabs Leyla and tells her to wheel her to surgery. #1 was it really alright to leave a sick woman who did not appear to be hooked up to anything , alone? #2 was it really a good idea to ask a student nurse to wheel a patient to surgery? Apparently not because within a matter of minutes, Leyla ditched her patient in the elevator, after telling Spinelli and Jason where to take her, so she could go and help another patient. Shortly thereafter, said elevator broke down and therein lied the evening’s predicament. Note to self - if for some reason you decide to risk your health by putting your life in the hands of GH doctors, take the stairs.

When Robin finds out about Stacey she is completely panic stricken and starts freaking out at people. The first person she gets mad at (understandably) is Leyla. Dr. Scorpio asks why she left her alone to which the nurse responds that Stacey’s with “Mr. Morgan and the Jackal” as if that’s supposed to mean she’s safe. I seriously had to laugh at that. Robin threatened to get Leyla kicked out of the nursing program, which was a little harsh, but if Leyla thinks a brain damaged janitor and a stoner hacker qualify as medical professionals, she deserves it.
Turns out the patient only Leyla could save because she speaks their language (FYI - Dr. Julien could have been paged to speak with them) needed surgery courtesy of Dr. Drake. He asks Robin to assist and she declines because she has to wait for Stacey. Patrick’s upset that she won’t help save this man and after Epiphany points out Robin’s refusal to help a patient, Dr. Scorpio heads to the ER to assist her sweetie. It was cool to see Robin in surgeon doctor mode, but the looks between her and Patrick over their surgical masks were intense. Could someone please lock them in a room so the could just talk things out already?

After surgery Robin overhears Jolene gushing about Jason (how is the Jason fan club not full by now?) and her co-worker comments that the only way he’ll help Stacey is by giving her last rights which of course upsets Robin who rushes off to wait for Stacey. Dr. Lee has a team waiting beside the elevator and Robin snaps at Dr. Archer (this poor guy has zero luck with women) to which everyone else jumps on Robin and tells her to calm down and she apologizes. Here’s my problem: Why must Robin always be made to look like the bad guy for overreacting and why is she always the one to apologize? If GH writers are going to make characters apologize, they should spread it around a little. If they need some inspiration, I’ve got a whole list of people who need to start asking for forgiveness.

Patrick is waiting with Robin until he gets paged to perform surgery on a man with head trauma from a motorcycle accident. I’m guessing this has something to do with Jolene’s secret. Earlier, in the what the hell moment of the show, Regina explained to Jolene the reason she gave Stan attitude (so over the top by the way) for being rude to Epiphany is because she had an abortion and he didn‘t seem to care what his mother sacrificed for him. At the end of this awkward bonding moment, Regina asked Jolene what her deepest darkest secret was, cut to Jolene staring sadly at the head trauma guy.

Speaking of Stan, after going his usual rounds with his mother, he headed to the basement to help Touissant try and fix the elevator. During this time, we discovered that neither one knew what they were doing and that someone broke the elevator on purpose. There had better be some cool explanation for all these freaky accidents, but I’m sure there won’t be. I’ve decided it’s less disappointing to watch if I keep my expectations low.

While everyone outside of the elevator was freaking out, Spinelli and Jason were doing a great job of freaking out inside of it. I understand that Jason could talk to Stacey about her condition because apparently it was the same one Sam and Elizabeth had (can they not come up with some other pregnancy complication), but must Jason always be the hero?

The actress playing Stacey did a great job of conveying her character’s pain and fear, but I must say I was relieved when she passed out because her screaming was getting on my nerves. After deciding they were stuck and need to help Stacey, Jason asks Spinelli to Google how to perform a C-section. Wow. So that explains how all the GH staff can work there without completely medical school. Apparently they just Google everything. How quaint.

Spinelli is continuing to freak out as he attempts to read the instructions, but thinks the point is moot because they don’t have a scalpel. Silly boy. With a flick of the wrist, Jason pulls a knife out of his pocket. Duh Spinelli. It’s part of the standard hitman’s tool belt. Jason tries to find something to sanitize the blade with and Spinelli whips out a lighter which he says he uses for smores. This definitely deserved a hee because smores is Spinelli code for pot. So Jason performs the C-section while montage music plays and delivers a baby girl who surprise, surprise, isn’t breathing.

And that’s where it ends. No, I am not kidding. The episode ended with a “to be continued” screen. Are you freaking kidding me??!! I thought the whole point of Night Shift was each episode was only one night long. If GH execs wanted to break the rules, why couldn’t they have addressed Maxie flat lining at the end of last week’s episode? For all I know she’s dead and haunting the supply closets of the hospital.

GH: Night Shift Episode 5 - "Bed, Bath and Be Gone"

I have mixed feelings about the title as well as the episode, but since I've committed to blogging about the show let's try to make this as painless as possible, yeah? I'm going to try a slightly different format this week and we'll see how it goes, kay?

Kelly-
So the show starts with Kelly having some creepy ass dream that was actually pretty corny. Some masked man was trying to get at her while she was lying in bed so I'm predicting some kind of sexual abuse/rape story is about to rear it's ugly. Original I know. What I will give originality points for is having Kelly being sued for sexual harassment by the orderly she banged last week (I think his name is Paulo) who was pissed because he got fired. I give credit for having a sexual harassament where the woman is accused of the harassment (although technically Paulo's lying and he's the one harassing her) because it could be interesting, but I'm guessing it won't be, not that I'm skeptical or anything.

Spinelli-
The misguided hacker slacker snuck back into the hospital to chat up Jolene and instead ended up on a "quest" to confront his fear of clowns. This ginormous, creepy clown came into the hospital because he couldn't control his laughter.

#1 I hate clowns
#2 That guy was totally annoying.

I can not believe I'm saying this, but I wish Jason would have pulled out his gun and shot Mr. Giggle Fits the second the Bozo wannabe opened his mouth.

Dr. Archer-
Speaking of weird patients, Dr. Archer's case was a married man who sleep walks right into bed with beautiful women. At one point he curled up beside Epiphany and ended up with a black eye. Okay writers you got me there. That was funny. Archer sends the guy to a Sleep Clinic satisfied that he's done what he could with this fascinating case and then Dr. Julien shakes his confidence by pointing out that it's possibly a scam. The way this weird, bald guy was checking out Regina as he and his wife exited GH makes me think the heart doc is right.

I would just like to point out that I am not finding these patients intriguing or amusing in anyway. They are annoying, creepy and frankly have led me to the decision to avoid the ER at all costs including but not limited to sawing my own arm off to fight off an infection if it means I will not run the risk of meeting these shifty people in the hospital.

Maxie -
Maxie, Maxie. This poor girl is just trouble. So the staph infection is still messing with her heart and Coop drops her off at the hospital, his presence is replaced by Mac and Georgie, both of whom I'm glad to see are still alive. Robin even had a moment with her cousin, albeit too brief, but you learn to take what you can get. This is going to sound so awful, but I enjoy Maxie when she's on the verge of dying simply because she's less of a bitch to Georgie. Georgie actually mouthed off to Maxie about her bad attitude and of course felt guilty about it two seconds later. She ended up being comforted by Spinelli and I found myself enjoying the scene (gasp!). I didn't think that was possible with this show. Who knew?

Epiphany -
Loud, abrasive, bossy Epiphany I can handle. Understanding and groupie Epiphany? Not so much. This alternate reality version of Pip is scaring me. She smiles and giggles at Touissant like an adolescent would at her high school crush except it's totally not cute. The generally no nonsense nurse is so star struck that she was nice to Regina after she let the bandaged Barret girl escape from her room. Epiphany's good mood is surely a sign of the apocalypse.

Patrick/Robin/Jason-
The main focus of these three was Jared, the comatose patient who was angry with his parents. When he woke up he was changed, meaning he was no longer angry with his parents (think backwards Jason). This of course led to the usual conversations of loving a child who hates you (parallel for Jason/Alan) and wanting to have children (aimed at Robin, who in case you missed it, is considering having a baby despite her HIV).

Although the night started out with some happy playfulness between Robin and Patrick which has been sorely lacking in previous episodes, it was sooooooooooooo not a sign of things to come. I think they maybe made it five minutes into the show before the miscommunications started in again. Leyla was having a bad night and Patrick stepped in to comfort her and of course Robin saw it and walked away upset. I burst out laughing when Leyla began her sob story by saying something to the effect of, they don't know what's it's like to be different. Um, just like the other two pink ladies, I mean student nurses, you have to succeed in the world of medicine because you're doing it for (insert family member's name here). Yeah, you are so original and so misunderstood. Of course Patrick had his own uncomfortable moment as he listened in on Robin's conversation with Jason about if she would ever know what it's like to be a parent. At least the powers that be seem to be going tit for tit as far as this couple's insecurities are concerned, but I wish they would freakin' get it over with already. I'm not asking for a civil discussion here, I will take a fight, anything to get them talking and stop with the hurt and angry faces!

And finally the award for most inappropriate moment of the year goes to...........

The ending montage of episode #5!

Congratulations you're insensitivity level was so high that it surpasses any inconsiderate moment that has happened or will happen on any television show this year! What are you going to do next? Scratch that. I really don't want to know.

Some orderly played Rie Sinclair's cover of "Dancing in the Streets" as exhausted doctors and nurses danced around the roof celebrating surviving another night shift. Cheestastic, but I was willing to let it go because it was a happy ending, at least that's what I thought. Suddenly I realize they were mixing in shots of Maxie flatlining while Mac and Georgie cry and Dr. Julian uses a defibrilator with these actors flailing about in what I think was an attempt at dance. I know some people would be dancing because of Maxie's death, but this was just ridiculous. How do you take a show that does something like that seriously? You don't.

GH: Night Shift Episode 4 - Keep the Change

As we get further along into this little experiment of a spin-off, I find myself feeling more and more befuddled and I don't know if I should look at it like, "Oh my God, there's only 9 episodes left!" or more "Dear God, these 9 episodes are going to take forever to end!" So, I've decided to work through my issues with this blog.

First off, the absence of Jason was most appreciated and I think the show felt more well rounded because of it. A result was an increase in the amount of screentime with Dr. Drake and that always puts me in a good mood. So, I suppose I will start with the positive before I inevitably plunge into the the downright awful. I was glad to see Patrick go all rebel-without-a-cause and join the protest, but I was disappointed that it didn't seem like he had shared his plans with Robin. The relationship between Patrick and Robin is an issue all of its own and I will get to that in a minute. I generally rely on Spinelli for my dose of hilariousness, but in this week's episode, Jason Thompson got some rather fun scenes and my favorite was when he attacked Epiphany with a hug. After once again hearing a voice singing "When the Saints Go Marching In" he starts to ask Epiphany if she hears it, but thinks better of it because he knows she'll just call him crazy (not that the nurse ever crushes anyone's spirit). When she surprises him by verifying that he is not in fact mental (although Night Shift Patrick has been having his moments that make me question that assertion) his reaction was priceless. He runs somewhat awkwardly around the nurses' station (I'll let the awkward run slide because he is pretty to look at) and throws his arms around her and kisses her while proclaiming that he loves her. The look on Sonya Eddy's face was hysterical, but when she regained her Epiphany-like composure she told the surgeon to love her from over there and pointed elsewhere. Honestly, I thought her reaction would have been a slap followed by a loud "Boy, are you outcha mind? Get off me!" but this worked fine for me.

Another lighthearted moment for Dr. Drake was his elevator ride with Touissant where he quickly goes from pissed off at Dr. Ford to fangirly (he's a guy so, I guess fanguy-ey?) in 2 seconds flat when the interesting janitor starts singing and IDed him as the mysterious singing voice. I'm actually tempted to completely despise this scene because once again the dialogue seemed awkward.

Patrick: You're a singer?
Touissant: Once upon a time.
Patrick: Wow. So are, are you a professional? I mean you sound professional.

Yes, because I can carry a tune that must mean I was a famous songbird in my day. This ranks up there with the ridiculous line poor Mac got in the first episode: "You're probably wondering why there was laughing gas in the ambulance." But, you know, subtly is the GH exec's best trait after all. Like I said, I was only tempted to completely hate this scene except once again for the adorable Jason Thompson.

While Patrick was busy uncovering the mystery of the GH phantom singer, Robin was busy bonding with the HIV+ pregnant lady. Instead of talking to Patrick about her desire to maybe, possibly, one day, become a mother she asks him to consult on Stacy's case to which he responds that he's a neurosurgeon and the patient's ailments have nothing to do with his area of expertise. True enough, and I know this isn't GH, but I've grown accustomed to doctors performing all sorts of random operations that have nothing to do with their specialty so why change now? I'd also like to ask, where was this attitude when GH Patrick treated the three bimbettes with the sprained ankle?

Because they need another reason to fight, Patrick relents and checks on Stacy and the scenes proved awkward as Dr. Drake acts slightly freaked out and Dr. Robin is quite forceful about the case. I loved that Stacy called Robin on her aggressiveness because it gave the audience a chance to see that the researcher really isn't sure what she wants. While the scenes were supposed to be awkward, I wasn't alright with the awkwardness of the final rooftop scene. I realize things are supposed to be unresovled, but I felt like that conversation just stopped midway through because the producers ran of time.

I think the biggest problem I'm having with adjusting to Night Shift is the interaction between Patrick and Robin. I realize that they're trying to build a story here and it's not going to be all puppies and rainbows which is fine, but I feel like these characters lost a part of themselves as they moseyed on over to the Night Shift. I understand that you're supposed to be able to watch Night Shift and understand it without ever watching General Hospital, but I'm will to bet that the vast majority, if not all member of the Night Shift audience, are originally fans of GH, including yours truly. Patrick and Robin have always been super flirty and known for their banter and I'm not seeing that. The chemistry between the characters and actors that intrigued me seems to be missing as well. Arguing is normal for them, but there is always some sort of good discussion about the issue(s) and perhaps that's why I felt disappointed with this week's final scene. I'll just tell myself to hang on because I'll get my conversation eventually (just like the powers that be are going to bring Tristan Rogers back any day now and put him on contract).

Stan made a return appearance to the hospital and organized the strike for better wages and I'm actually liking the mother/son interaction between him and Epiphany. Quick question though: before tonight did they ever mention Stan becoming a doctor? I just thought he took a bunch of computer classes as a kid. Right, that's GH and this is an alternative universe. You know, for making this show easy to understand, I feel like it should require a bachelor's degree in order to watch it and comprehend this whole two realities, but one idea.

I hate that Epiphany's ragging on Stan for the strike because it's a far cry better than doing mob work, but I think I'll enjoy seeing her come around. Sneed and Ford were once again kicking out patients and deciding to spin Mrs. Storch's death as a murder instead of an error (because that would make the hospital look bad). In case you were wondering, I still totally hate them so Epiphany earned major points when she stared down Ford and reminded him that he's afraid of her. I also found the calm, no nonsense nurse tripping all over herself in the presence of the professional singer turned janitor hysterical!

Lainey once again dismissed Creepy Cody and had to deal with her father who suffers from Alzheimer's. He was brought to GH after possibly suffering a stroke. I was glad to see Patrick be supportive (although Robin popping in would have been nice too) and happy that Lainey was going to get a storyline outside of Creepy Cody .................and then I quickly realized that assumption was wrong. After Ford and Sneed essentially kicked Mr. Winters out of the hospital, Lainey had an emotional scene with her father. She was trying to help him get dressed and he was hostile until Cody came by and talked to him like a high ranking officer. I'm guessing from the salute that Mr. Winters was at one time in the army, but this doesn't work for me because it doesn't look like we'll be getting rid of Creepy Cody after all.

Kelly had sex with a new slightly swarmy, Latin orderly and then blew him off as well as Dr. Archer when he tried to talk to her as a friend. Okay what is her deal? Alternative universe Kelly is confusing me. She actually spouted off what sounded like legitmate medical terms, unlike GH Kelly. She snapped at Robin, her friend and ex-roommate, unlike GH Kelly. I mean, shouldn't she be more perky than daytime Kelly because she's clearly getting more action than her? Please just tell me what's wrong so we can move this little story along! Chances are, I'm not going to like it anyway.

And just when you thought the GH execs had no more story in them, think again! There is now a mystery subplot about who is making all these crazy, random "mistakes" happen at the hospital. Every good soap has some kind of killer storyline so let's make a list of suspects shall we?

1. Layla - Too obvious, but again, Night Shift is sooooooooooooooooo not subtle. Plus I just don't like her and would love to see her get carted off the Pentonville or Shady Brook.
2. Cody - The dude's unstable.
3. Touissant - This guy's totally shifty. Maybe he wants to make the hospital look bad so they can get rid of Ford. If that's the plan, I'm all over that because in case I hadn't mentioned it, I can stand that man.