GH Night Shift: Episode 13 - "Time Served"

I............um..................uh.....................WTF show? Seriously, WTF was that? I can't even...........I don't get........... UGH!

Okay so the season finale pretty much followed the downward trend that this show has been following since Episode 2.

In the opening scenes we have Robin talking in the locker room about the crappy Night Shift.

Robin: I have learned to hate the Night Shift.

Word. That was the smartest thing I have ever heard anyone say on this show and I should have stopped watching right then and there because things got worse from there, like immediately. Case and point: Kelly's response:

Kelly: What you hate is that Patrick is sleeping with Leyla.

Real sensitive Kel. With such consoling words, who wouldn't want you as their BFF? In the first few minutes we also learn that Dubois is alive and has been in this "condition" for a week (they never explain the "condition" so I'll just call it a coma because that's nice and soapy) and the nurses are excited about graduating because they'll get to wear blue scrubs. I for one, was happy to see the pink go, but why must they keep the stupid matching pens hanging around their necks?

Jason is upstairs mopping the same spot outside of Toussaint's room and explains to Epiphany that he's keeping guard. When the nurse realizes that the former Saints singer could be in danger she gives Jason the okay to stay put and then tells the hitman if anyone gives him problems to send them to her. ...........................

Uh, Pip? His "problems" are generally armed and dangerous. I know your shouting has the ability to make an old man living on the Pacific Coast go deaf, but I'm not sure it will do you much good when a gun is being pointed at your head.

In the category of the dumbest things I've ever heard is Jolene saying she finds Spinelli attractive. Then again, she's a bit of a whack job so you know, the things she says don't always make the most sense. Oh yes, and then there was the irritating crossfades from scenes of Spinelli and Jason confirming that Jolene is the killer to scenes of said crazy nurse scheming evilly with Colonel Sanders in a dark room and for some reason during this conversation the Colonel decides to toss in "I used to love the Saints?" WTF? Apparently you didn't like them that much if you're willing to have the lead singer killed.

During the so-called "stars'" allotted one scene together per show Patrick and Robin actually discussed their relationship. You know, the committed relationship between two people who loved each other and fought so hard to be together? Oh right. I keep forgetting. That's on General Hospital. This is Night Shit (that's what I said). I can appreciate the scene they shared in the locker room because I could see hints of the sweet, sensitive Patrick I used to love:

Patrick: Well, I guess just, we have different life goals or..........doesn't mean I don't care about you.

And Robin actually stood up for herself:

Robin: I wasn't even sure that I wanted to have a child. If I considered having one, it was sometime in the near future. Then suddenly this woman comes into my life, she has a similar history to mine, she's having a baby and then she dies. Did I handle it well? No, not even close. But for someone who was supposed to love me, you made absolutely no attempt to help me or to even understand.

Hell, I think I was just glad that someone mentioned that Patrick and Robin used to have a relationship because you sure wouldn't know it from watching this show.

Downstairs Regina wheels another frickin' pregnant woman into an ER cubicle. As Kelly examines her, the pregnant teen from a few weeks ago enters the ER and suspiciously eyes these tough-looking guys in the waiting room. She nervously tries to get Kelly to move the pregnant patient upstairs to which the doctor replies that all of rooms in the delivery wing are full. Gee. Maybe it's because countless women have decided to have their babies at GH every Saturday for three months.

Anyway, it turns out her boyfriend Javi, is a rival of the guys in the waiting room. The gang members who are sitting in the waiting room are hiding guns in their slings, just waiting to jump Javi when he comes in. Number 1, who the hell wears a blue jean arm sling? Number 2, why are the bad guys on this show always Hispanic? I mean, even on GH Sonny's rivals are always Hispanic. Way to not be stereotypical show. Great job!

So after the girl ominously whispers it's too late, a shootout erupts. Now, parts of it were done well, but seriously? A shoot out on Night Shift? I thought the whole point of this show was to focus on the hospital because the mob stuff has pretty much overrun General Hospital. ::sigh:: When will I ever learn not to trust people when they promise me things?

To recap the shootout:
*Leo was shot trying to rescue an injured medic (BTW, where was his iPod?)
*Patrick grabbed Leo and along with Robin and Leyla they helped save his life
*6 guys were killed and Jason and Robin thought Jason shot 5 of them (he probably killed all of them because he is forever the hero you know)
*Spinelli chunked his beloved laptop at someone as a weapon
*Jolene took a bullet for Spinelli
*Robin got captured after dashing across the floor (I think to pull Spinelli out of the way)
*Robin and Jason had some nodding moment (I think someone said this happened back in the day) where she ducked and Jason blew her captor away

Drama everywhere! And then .................. crap. Within two seconds everyone went about their business like nothing ever happened. It was insane. Minutes after the gun fight we find ourselves in Toussaint's room. During the shootout the former singer was having conversations with his younger self and I realized that he has good acting chops and should have held out for a better show if we wanted to make a comeback. As the janitor comes to, we now have Patrick and Epiphany joking and laughing with him, just moments after a FREAKIN' SHOOTOUT IN THE ER!!!! WTF times one thousand!!! During the gun fight, Patrick looks freaked out about Robin and afterward instead of checking on her, he's laughing it up with Epiphany and Toussaint. Why do I even bother?

Someone who did ask if Robin was alright was her Uncle Mac (nice to see you!). The thing that bothered me about the scene was there was no hug. Wouldn't he hug her? I guess it's small, but it bugged me.
Elsewhere in the hospital, Spinelli checks in on Toussaint and tries to explain that there was a shootout and that Jolene has been a very naughty girl.

Toussaint: You know, you've been known to get carried away son. That Jolene seems like a sweet girl.
Spinelli: Stone Cold apprehended Jolene as she was coming to kill you.
Toussaint: Has she been arrested?

I just loved the quick change of Toussaint's opinion of the seemingly innocent Jolene and the way he delivered that line definitely made me giggle. Something that didn't make me giggle was Jason saying it was hard to explain what he does (eliminates people for a living) and then Toussaint starts talking about talent (I think to parallel his life with Jason's) and that Jason has figured it out already. You consider killing people a talent? That's kind of twisted. Minus ten points, sir.

Of course as if the show hadn't been odd enough, it dished out a few more random moments:

The burn lady, who we haven't seen in weeks suddenly reappears sans bandages, but we never see her face.

Andy, who's been MIA all night, suddenly appears in the locker room with Kelly and they talk about their addictions. Kelly suggests they celebrate breaking their addictions by sleeping together in 72 days when she's completed her abstinence task and he's kicked his drug habit. Did they just schedule a f*#k date? Yeah, that's romantic and not at all disturbing.

Patrick and Leyla have some ridiculous conversation about waffles (cruel considering the Patrick/Robin breakfast convo early in the series) on the roof in front of that ugly fake sunrise.

Robin acts all cheerful with Jason even though she was being held at gunpoint a few hours earlier. Jason finally gets her to admit everything is not alright. He stares at the back of the burn victim for a moment before Robin walks him downstairs to the car.........................where Sonny's waiting for him. I knew they could not get through this entire show without a Sonny cameo! "A show that focuses on the hospital" my ass!

When Robin comes back inside, things really get freaky. She discovers that Patrick has a patient that was involved in a hit and run. The patient has a head trauma as well as internal bleeding and an abdomen that's firm and distended (sound familiar? Think MetroCourt crisis). Robin goes in to help and Patrick immediately tells her to get out and tries to push her back out the door. Robin argues and he says she's too emotionally involved when Leyla announces the patient's in dfib. They pull out a crash cart and you hear a "Clear!" as the camera cuts to Robin's who is wide-eyed as she stares down at the patient - herself. Suddenly, the eyes of the grey skinned version of herself lying on the gurney fly open and you're left with this creepy image of Robin staring at you as the screen fades to black.

And that's how it ends. A few conflicting thoughts here. So, can I assume that the writers took my advice to save themselves and decided to turn this whole mess into a dream? I'm sorry, but I've seen what destruction they're capable of and I'm not entirely certain I can credit them with planning out the whole dream thing at the beginning of all of this. If it is a dream, hooray because none of this icky crap happened. Then again, with a cliffhanger ending, does that mean there will be another season? If that's true, count me out. After this mess, I do not trust them to create a well-thought out show and if they're using the dream card now, chances are, they won't pull it out again.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Peace out Night Shift.