Just Saying

Lulu is an idiot. Really, that's pretty much what I learned this week and I could stop the review right there, but for you smart souls who have been tuning out GH lately, I'll fill you in. After getting rescued from Anthony Zacchara's psycho son, Lulu moves in with Jason and Spinelli and then proceeds to return text messages from said psycho. After that Carly came and gave her best "stay away from badboys" speech which was laughable given her history with men. Lulu commented on the ridiculousness of her cousin doling out relationship advice, so the youngest Spencer isn't completely nuts, but I'm still questioning her sanity because of her current intrest in Johnny. It's not like she doesn't know he's off, I mean, she said it herself. So now, why is it alright to be hanging out with him and like he's harmless or whatev? What's the deal yo?

In other freaky news, Nikolas continued pumbling everyone in sight and denying it, but we were finally given a little insight ala Alfred - Nik doesn't remember becoming violent. Hmm........ Is it too much to hope that this is going to turn into something soapy? Probably, but I can still dream. So the dark prince promptly headed over to GH and asked Robin to check his blood for traces of the poison. I'm a little bummed because that was my explanation for his weird behavior and since it was the first thing they tossed out there, chances are his outbursts are a result of something else. I hope that they can tie it to some past event - his battle with encephalitis, his amnesia - oh the possibilities!

While his family was busy dealing with their troubles, Lucky was across town following their lead and trying to cope with the destruction of his and Elizabeth's relationship. The couple finally called it quits on their marriage (again) and did anyone else find it a little harsh how quickly Elizabeth moved out and had divorce papers drawn up? After Diane served Lucky with the papers, he became a little suspicious that Jason's lawyer was handling the divorce and requested Alexis' help. That may be the smartest move you've made in months my friend. After looking over the paperwork she noticed that Lucky basically has zero rights where Jake is concerned and Lucky decided to hire her to represent him in the divorce. I absolutely adored Alexis' comment:

Alexis: I'd feel a lot better if somebody were looking out for you.

So true!

Meanwhile, at camp Elizabeth, the recently separated nurse found a new house in record time, but what I don't understand is how she expects to pay for it. Last year her and Lucky and Cam were struggling to pay for that tiny apartment. Now she'll have a house payment and another child to care for all minus Lucky's income. I'm not the world's greatest mathematician, but something tells me this just doesn't add up.

Carly, Jax and the boys (the only family left in tact in Port Charles) came back to town after agreeing they weren't going to hide anymore. While Jax tried to use his business savvy to protect his family from Zacchara, Carly caught wind of Elizabeth's divorce and instead of consoling her cousin (that's right, they're only related when she needs something) she went to warn Jason to stay away from the single mother. One of the highlights of my week was definitely Jason's reaction to Carly's anti-Elizabeth rants:

Jason: Shut up about Elizabeth already! You don't know what you're talking about.
Carly: Okay --
Jason: You talk about Elizabeth like she's nothing, like she's not good enough for me, but you know what? It would make me happy to have Elizabeth and her boys to come home to. But don't worry, Carly, it's not going to happen because they wouldn't be safe. I'd rather live alone for the rest of my life than risk anything ever happening to them! So you know what? You can act up all you want, throw your tantrums, defy Sonny, defy me, but don't ever talk about Elizabeth like that again to my face.

The image of Jason yelling at Carly is forever burned in my memory and that picture will always put a smile on my face. I don't care so much about his Elizabeth gushing, but what was fabulous about the exchange was that Jason actually told Carly to shut up, Carly looked hurt, and Jason actually took another woman's side against Carly. There is so much right with that scene that it's pretty clear the usual writers must have been on vacation.

While Jason was babysitting Carly, Sonny was trying to take care of Kate. With some help from Jerry, the Godfather of Port Chuck pulled some strings and got her off with community service at GH. Emily and Elizabeth pretty much summed up what I think about Kate working with Epiphany for the next 6 months:

I swear they must be having a contest over there to see who can pull off the best WTH? look. I say keep them coming because I am soooooo enjoying them. The only other stipulation of Kate not going to jail was that she has to wear an ankle monitor and instead of graciously accepting the punishment, Diane of all people went off on a rant - about the unfashionable qualities of an ankle monitor. How do I feel about the issue?

Any other questions?

Speaking of Diane, I have to say that her ability to switch from shark, to fan girl, back to quick witty employee not afraid to call out her boss the mobster pretty much makes my day.

Sonny: Trevor Lansing is employed by a dirty mobster, which makes Trevor Lansing dirty.
Diane: I work for you, and I am pure as the driven snow. You are going to save yourself a lot of frustration if you just accept reality, accept the fact that there is no upside to a continued fight with Trevor Lansing.

Hi-larious! And then there was this:

Sonny: Do you ever hear yourself, Diane? The whole world does not revolve around your impressive legal brilliance.
Diane: No.
Sonny: No.
Diane: Of course it doesn’t. It revolves around almighty you -- your business, your ex-wife, your children by multiple mothers. Your devoted enforcer, who eliminates people whenever, wherever --

I love how when she calls Sonny on his faults, it always seems to go over his head. Maybe if he wore taller shoes that could remedy the problem.