Just Saying

I finally found time to catch up on a week's worth of GH and I was thinking it was just whatev. I was all set to write about Diane's honesty with Sonny and Lulu's continuing idiotic behavior (I will get to that later) and then I got to Friday's episode and a loud WTF? rang through my house. After seeing some of Night Shift spilling into daytime GH I was ready to throw anything from a shoe to the kitchen sink at my T.V. The only thing that saved the tube is that I would be too lazy to replace it.

I, like so many, was thrilled to see Night Shift come to end. Apparently Robin shared my sentiment.

Elizabeth: How happy are you to be done with night-shift duty?
Robin: Whew -- let me count the ways.
Elizabeth: Oh. Here.
Robin: Thank you. Oh -- unfortunately, the after-effects still linger.

What does that last apt comment mean you ask? It means that storylines are crossing over in a confusing and unsettling way from nighttime to daytime. For those smart souls who didn't tune into Soapnet for that travesty of a spin-off they would have had no clue what was going on. For any execs who want to argue against that, I have an example of a non-Night Shift viewer who watches GH and they were completely thrown by Friday's scenes.

Alright, so we have Lainey talking to Cody at the PCPD about her father's death, Andy and Kelly once again discussing their fuck date (barf), Leyla discussing having a date with Patrick, Epiphany talking about exploding ambulances, Leo limping from his Night Shift bullet wound and Kelly making out with Leo (didn't he turn her down on NS?).

So. Much. Wrong.

I thought Night Shift was this alternate reality that was separate from daytime GH and one didn't affect the other. Apparently Friday's writer forgot that rule. Look, when this thing started daytime Jason was in jail and nighttime Jason was a janitor. Janitor Jason could not have possibly crossed over to daytime, therefore anything he did at night could not crossover. This includes saving people in the shootout. Who thought this would be a good idea? Someone needs to find out and then tell them the next time they want to think, don't.

Alright, now daytime Robin is getting kicked around like her nighttime counterpart and while recently my plea has been "Stop Yelling at Alexis!" now it's "Stop Yelling at Robin." First, Epiphany yelled at her (I guess that's nothing new), then a student nurse sassed her (is it really wise given she just now became a nurse? Know your place missy!), Robin overheard said nurse announcing she was going to dinner with Patrick, and to top it all off, when Anna called, instead of getting to vent, Robin heard an explosion before the line went dead and now she's worried for her mother's safety.

Cruel world: 4 Robin: 0

Before I jump into more badness, this is the time in the program when I praise Diane's directness with Sonny. It seriously made my day.

Sonny: Time-out! Time -- time-out, boom! If you guys want to talk, make an appointment. Over dinner, mud wrestling -- [Ed. note - anyone else disturbed by this suggestion?]I don't care, but not on my time. You, sit down; you, out!
Alexis: Expect a call from the Spencers turning over the case to me.
Diane: You don't even want to know what you should expect if you decide to stay on this --
[Sonny sighs]
Sonny: Finally. As far as Trevor, I --
Diane: Has anyone ever told you that you are a self-centered ape?

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Diane: Every once in a while, you just might make some effort to pull your head out of your -- self-centered............ fog and realize that there are other people in the world who could use some assistance. Your almighty needs will certainly be met, they always are................ Ignore Trevor Lansing. Practice this much self-control. Stay calm and let his blood boil. It's not that difficult -- I do it all the time.

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Diane: What you are hearing is the very thing that irritates you the most, and that is the truth.

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The only thing better than this was Diane flying into a tirade when she discovered Trevor had Kate fired. She even took off her heel and chunked it at him.

Throwing a shoe? Awesome!

Something else that was awesome was Tracy (and Alan) visiting Carly. Ms. Quatermaine-Spencer was trying to get Carly to help her convince Lulu to move out of Jason's and Alan added colorful commentary as always.

Tracy: I do care. Lulu got her hear broken by that Logan. She needs a family environment.

Carly: Oh yeah and what better family than a controlling shrew, a greedy old man an overworked, grieving doctor and let's not forget the mud-wrestling maid. That'll straighten Lulu right up.

Alan: I'll bet you Monica could use a vacation. I wonder why Bobbie didn't invite her.
Tracy: Don't look at me like that. It's just a -- whew -- hot flash. Just you wait.
Carly: You're wasting my time. I have someplace to be, and I don't tell Jason what to do.
Tracy: You tell everybody what to do.
Alan: Wonderful -- red cape, meet bull.

Not so awesome: Nikolas' violent outbursts. Apparently he's been blacking out and since he doesn't remember these fits of violence, the writers are hinting that he may have killed Leticia. Crap. The poor guy finally gets a storyline and this is what you hand him? Oh, and I don't care what is wrong with him. Nothing you say or do can make this okay:

Nikolas: I know that you think your divorce is the end of the world for you, but for God's sakes, Lucky, you have two kids, a career and your health and guess what? You get to get it on with Sam McCall too! So what the hell are you complaining about?

Inappropriate! Sam is your flippin' cousin, man!

Speaking of Lucky, his divorce turned ugly this week as Elizabeth refused to agree to Alexis' handling their divorce. The argument deteriorated as both began listing off their transgressions, but Liz couldn't seem to take to responsibility for her actions. I'm not sure who thinks we find this entertaining. I repeat. Taking a once well-loved couple and tearing them to shreds just so you can play musical beds is not okay.

Meanwhile, Jason continued to have Spinelli investigate the Zaccharas. What about Stan? Anyone remember him? Spinelli's a total spaz and can grate my nerves, but I have to say, the message he left on Sonny's voicemail was quite entertaining.

Spinelli: Oh, I hate voicemail! Doesn't anyone have the common decency to answer their -- ahem -- good afternoon, Mr. Corinthos, Sir. It is I, The Jackal. I have patiently heeded your warnings and avoided direct phone contact between us, but The Jackal fears there is much danger, and since Stone Cold is curiously incommunicado -- look, I -- I just -- at the risk of your wrath, I ask you to return my call when you receive this message. Many sincere thanks. With love, The Jackal.

With love? OMG that's priceless!

Lulu continued acting ridiculous this week as she defended Johnny to various people. Carly had been texting Johnny Z., the newest guy interested in Lulu (because we didn't have enough already) pretending to be Lulu and of course like all of Carly's plans, this one fell apart when Zacchara Jr. pulled out a gun. Jax rode in to save the day and Johnny's keepers helped haul him away (that rhymes, hee!). When Lulu found out she got all self-righteous and then contacted Johnny the second she left her cousin's house. During that entire conversation, Lulu sounded so idiotic that she made Carly appear stable, sane and logical. Bloody hell. What is this show coming to?

This week was decent for backburner characters who were dusted off and allowed to come out and play.

First we saw Coop for about three seconds. Maxie invited him to dinner to propose they try and work things out, but when he didn't respond the way she wanted, she left.

Then there was Georgie. We've been seeing her more lately, but I wish someone would give her her own storyline. I think the Georgie/Spinelli pairing could be cute because he's quirky like Dillon and it would be somewhat reminiscent of Robin/Jason (good girl and the mobster). However, I hate that she's once again, playing second fiddle to Lulu.

Skye came around for two seconds to talk with Ric about making an alliance. I'm not sure if the execs want to pair these two up, but if they do, I don't think I could buy into it. Skye would be a great bad girl, but I think Ric has much more chemistry with Alexis which was evident in the following scene where Ric argues with her about hanging out with Jerry. What exactly does Jerry need a lawyer for anyway? I could totally get behind a Ric-gets-jealous-and-he-and-Alexis-get-back-together storyline. I absolutely hate how that couple was broken apart, but I would actually being willing to forget all that and I am not usually a forgetful or forgiving person when it comes to soaps. That's how much I would love to see these two back together.

I also have to say that Alexis does get some pretty fabulous lines from time to time. Example:

Alexis: No, he just did you a really big favor. I was about to dump you as a client, but now he's made me so angry that I've changed my mind. If any man ever tries to control me again by threatening to take my children, I will hand him his ass.
Jerry: Yes, I'm quite sure you will, darling.

I just really enjoyed that.

Rounding out our surprise appearances for the week is Scott Baldwin. He received the results of the paternity test and surprise surprise, Logan is his son. While there was really now buildup or shock to the results, the one thing I did enjoy about these scenes was the reference to Scott's history and family. I love family references and I would love to see more focus on the family throughout the entire canvas. That should be a fundamental part of soaps. I'm just saying.