A Leave of Absence

I wanted to apologize to the people who have stumbled across this blog and actually read it for the sudden disappearance of the Just Saying column this week. Life decided it wasn't meant to be, but rest asured, it will return this weekend. I'm sure with Sweeps kicking into high gear I'll have plenty to say about General Hospital, good, bad or indifferent..........but most likely bad because being critical seems to be my strong suit.

Missing:
Dr. Robin Scorpio

DOB: October 12, 1977

Race: Caucasian Sex: Female

Hair: Various shades of brunette Eyes: Brown

Height: 5'2 Weight: 110

Missing Since: Fall 2007 Missing From: Port Charles, NY

Last seen: Happily enjoying a piggyback ride given by Dr. Patrick Drake

Description: Intelligent, compassionate, loving and organized. Major planner and analyzer.

Be on the lookout for an imposter who has been claiming to be Ms. Scorpio. This imposter exhibits uncharacteristic behavior such as asking guys she barely knows for sperm donations and keeps a blog that says insane things like "Damien Spinelli is the perfect genetic match" and "he possesses all the ideal qualities that I’d like my child to inherit" and "I’ve always wanted my baby’s father to be someone I trust and admire, and Spinelli is that guy." The real Robin Scorpio would never say things because:

a) Real Robin would not consider love of barbeque chips and orange soda and a tendency to spas out at any moment "ideal qualities"
b) Real Robin barely knows Spinelli and could therefore not "trust and admire" him since she does not trust easily
c) Real Robin would never ask a father to give up his own child given that she beliefs a father has every right to his child even if the parents aren't together (See Michael and Spencer who'sthedaddy storylines)

If you find Ms. Scorpio, please contact Mac at the PCPD. Call at anytime because he'll be there since that is the only place that be allow him to pop up.

Confessional Booth

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have broken my cardinal rule to never watch All My Children and it's all Aiden Devane's fault.

I grew up watching Days of Our Lives during naptime and that was my only soap until the writing became so crappy that I jumped ship. I stumbled upon General Hospital and have used it in recent years to feed my soap addiction. I was biased on principle against other soaps and while I never watched All My Children, I just knew that it was the lowest of the low - that's the rep I knew of and I knew it had to be true because of promos I had seen. Ironically, those ads that kept me away are the very things that sucked me in.

A while back I saw a commercial for Aiden and Greenlee's drunken night of sex and thought, "Hm, I'm bored. He's hot. Why not?" and THIS is what I found.

Um, if that's the therapy I get for a busted rib, I'd let him crack my ribs anyday.

So now I find myself fastforwarding through everything except Aiden and Greenlee scenes and feeling slightly dirty when I realize I'm actually watching AMC. My interest in this couple does NOT mean I suddenly believe AMC is God's gift. I still think the writing is lacking (but shows potential) and the actors don't always make the best choices.

I should have known that I was going to fall for this guy because he's related to Robin Scorpio (and I pretty much like all of her relatives) and he has a hot accent. I think these things are going to hold my attention for the foreseeable future, so for now, I'm going to sit back and enjoy the pretty. I'm sure the people in charge will find a way to ruin this for me sooner or later and I'm guessing sooner rather than later now that the baby crazy disease has migrated over from General Hospital and injected itself directly into Greenlee's system.

I really don't want to watch, but I'm a sucker for couples with a love/hate relationship and sexy, shirtless guys.

Damn you British accent!

The Taste of Crow's Feet

Okay, so I take it back.

I take it all back.

I saw a promo for sweeps and everything I said about wishing it was November, I am hereby retracting that.

For those interested in checking the commercial out, here it is:

A bloody ball? What a great idea because you know, there isn't enough violence on this show already.

Just Saying

Lulu is still an idiot this week because she got kidnapped.........AGAIN! Good Lord, how about some creativity? Lulu was kidnapped for the umpteenth time when she once again hitched a ride with Johnny Z. after having a fight with Luke over getting back with Logan. Her reunion with her ex is just one more reason why I can say this girl is an idiot. I will say that I felt an intriguing vibe between these two which is a nice change compared to Lulu's other chemistryless pairings.

Unfortunately I just don't have much to say because none of the stories are progressing.

*Sonny demanded a meeting with Anthony Zacchara (again).

*Jason saved Lulu (again).

*Lucky and Liz's divorce continued to disintegrate as Lucky filed for emergency custody of Jake only to lose all visitation rights until the mediation.

*Max saved Carly from Nikolas' letter opener.

*Patrick played tattletale (otra vez) as Robin asked Jax and Lucky to be her baby's father.

*After turning Robin down, Jax told Carly he wanted to have children (again) and she said someday.

Hands down the most unique scenes were the drunken scenes between Max and Diane. The two became drinking partners at the MetroCourt bar and commiserated about the lack of respect they receive from Carly and Sonny respectively. Their sympathetic ears quickly translated into sliding between the sheets, but thankfully Max put the brakes on. The flirting was humorous, but I think an actual romp in the hay would have just left me scarred.

Props to the director for that last shot. The Graduate reference totally made my day.

So in summary...... is it November yet? I swear, willfully enduring the slow-paced storytelling in between sweeps months seriously makes me question my sanity. Just saying.

Caps courtesy of: Clarissa and LaurieluvsLiason

Just Saying

Due to the fact that I have to work because apparently I cannot be a professional blogger, this will be an abridged version of the weekly roundup. Think of it like watching GH on fastforward so you only have to sit through the bearable stuff.

Luke/Tracy - Luke came back (finally)!!! Did it seem like he was gone longer than usual this time? These vacations make me nervous because sometimes I worry he's going to see how ridiculous the show is think why bother? Luke found out about Lulu's relationship with a Baldwin and blew his lid.

Luke returning to Port Chuck? Cool!

Yelling at Tracy and Nikolas for not taking care of his parental responsibilities? Not so cool.

Lulu/Logan - Luke's arrival just happened to coincide with Scott agreeing to drop the charges against said rebel only if Lulu gave Logan another shot. I really don't have anything else to say because the whole Lulu/Logan thing has been disappointing to me. Too many missed opportunities.

Lucky/Elizabeth - Lucky threatened to file for full custody of Jake to shake Elizabeth up, but I think it's just going to send her into hyperbitch mode. She's been progressing along the bitch scale for the past year, but now I think she's going to take it to new extremes. God help us all.

Nikolas/Emily - Nikolas admitted that in addition to his fits of rage he's now losing time and it looks like he might be the one who stabbed Jerry. What is one to do when facing all of these problems? Why throw a party of course. Seriously? A ball is Nikolas' solution? Besides looking at all the pretty, I hate parties because they always end in disaster (MetroCourt anyone?) and this is clearly headed for a disaster. I'm sorry. Let me try putting my optimistic face on. Ahem. Shoving half the town into a ballroom in a fortress located on an island with a rageaholic and a various assortment of other wackos sounds like a great idea! Riiiggggtttt.

Robin/Patrick - Hooray for Robin for standing up to Patrick about her decision to move on with her life by having a baby! Now I love the girl, but I am a little creeped out by the potential babydaddy list because it just seems weird running around town asking for DNA. I say weird, you say progressive. Tomato/Tomatoe. I'm actually willing to look past this thought because I think we'll be getting some more jealous Patrick and I'm all for putting the shoe on the other foot.

Carly/Jax - This week they freaked out when Wes (Everyday Heroes guy) showed up with photos of them that had been sent to the studio. Apparently someone had taken pictures of them "fooling around" on the couch from Carly's cell phone. So, can you really do that?

Note to self: Forget about the upgrade to a cell phone with a camera.

Sonny/Kate - Kate decided start a new magazine and Sonny had Jason kidnap Johnny Z. In other words, I don't care.

Newbies - As if all the Night Shift crossovers wasn't bad enough, now someone thought it would be a good idea to bring more newbies to the ALREADY FULL AND VERY TALENTED CANVAS. First up, we had Jolene's sister Nadine and I find her annoying already. Then we had some new detective guy. Um, what was wrong with Cruz? If I find out Adrian Alvarado bailed, I will be sad, yet happy that he realized he deserves better.

In other General Hospital news, I ran across some ratings this week that indicated that the show had hit a new low in terms of viewers. Hmm. I wonder why. Let's see if I can break it down for you dear GH execs:

Low ratings means fewer people tuning in.
Fewer people are watching probably because no one likes what they're seeing.
Maybe, just maybe, you should consider changing your approach to storytelling.

I'm just saying.

Just Saying

I finally found time to catch up on a week's worth of GH and I was thinking it was just whatev. I was all set to write about Diane's honesty with Sonny and Lulu's continuing idiotic behavior (I will get to that later) and then I got to Friday's episode and a loud WTF? rang through my house. After seeing some of Night Shift spilling into daytime GH I was ready to throw anything from a shoe to the kitchen sink at my T.V. The only thing that saved the tube is that I would be too lazy to replace it.

I, like so many, was thrilled to see Night Shift come to end. Apparently Robin shared my sentiment.

Elizabeth: How happy are you to be done with night-shift duty?
Robin: Whew -- let me count the ways.
Elizabeth: Oh. Here.
Robin: Thank you. Oh -- unfortunately, the after-effects still linger.

What does that last apt comment mean you ask? It means that storylines are crossing over in a confusing and unsettling way from nighttime to daytime. For those smart souls who didn't tune into Soapnet for that travesty of a spin-off they would have had no clue what was going on. For any execs who want to argue against that, I have an example of a non-Night Shift viewer who watches GH and they were completely thrown by Friday's scenes.

Alright, so we have Lainey talking to Cody at the PCPD about her father's death, Andy and Kelly once again discussing their fuck date (barf), Leyla discussing having a date with Patrick, Epiphany talking about exploding ambulances, Leo limping from his Night Shift bullet wound and Kelly making out with Leo (didn't he turn her down on NS?).

So. Much. Wrong.

I thought Night Shift was this alternate reality that was separate from daytime GH and one didn't affect the other. Apparently Friday's writer forgot that rule. Look, when this thing started daytime Jason was in jail and nighttime Jason was a janitor. Janitor Jason could not have possibly crossed over to daytime, therefore anything he did at night could not crossover. This includes saving people in the shootout. Who thought this would be a good idea? Someone needs to find out and then tell them the next time they want to think, don't.

Alright, now daytime Robin is getting kicked around like her nighttime counterpart and while recently my plea has been "Stop Yelling at Alexis!" now it's "Stop Yelling at Robin." First, Epiphany yelled at her (I guess that's nothing new), then a student nurse sassed her (is it really wise given she just now became a nurse? Know your place missy!), Robin overheard said nurse announcing she was going to dinner with Patrick, and to top it all off, when Anna called, instead of getting to vent, Robin heard an explosion before the line went dead and now she's worried for her mother's safety.

Cruel world: 4 Robin: 0

Before I jump into more badness, this is the time in the program when I praise Diane's directness with Sonny. It seriously made my day.

Sonny: Time-out! Time -- time-out, boom! If you guys want to talk, make an appointment. Over dinner, mud wrestling -- [Ed. note - anyone else disturbed by this suggestion?]I don't care, but not on my time. You, sit down; you, out!
Alexis: Expect a call from the Spencers turning over the case to me.
Diane: You don't even want to know what you should expect if you decide to stay on this --
[Sonny sighs]
Sonny: Finally. As far as Trevor, I --
Diane: Has anyone ever told you that you are a self-centered ape?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diane: Every once in a while, you just might make some effort to pull your head out of your -- self-centered............ fog and realize that there are other people in the world who could use some assistance. Your almighty needs will certainly be met, they always are................ Ignore Trevor Lansing. Practice this much self-control. Stay calm and let his blood boil. It's not that difficult -- I do it all the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diane: What you are hearing is the very thing that irritates you the most, and that is the truth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing better than this was Diane flying into a tirade when she discovered Trevor had Kate fired. She even took off her heel and chunked it at him.

Throwing a shoe? Awesome!

Something else that was awesome was Tracy (and Alan) visiting Carly. Ms. Quatermaine-Spencer was trying to get Carly to help her convince Lulu to move out of Jason's and Alan added colorful commentary as always.

Tracy: I do care. Lulu got her hear broken by that Logan. She needs a family environment.

Carly: Oh yeah and what better family than a controlling shrew, a greedy old man an overworked, grieving doctor and let's not forget the mud-wrestling maid. That'll straighten Lulu right up.

Alan: I'll bet you Monica could use a vacation. I wonder why Bobbie didn't invite her.
Tracy: Don't look at me like that. It's just a -- whew -- hot flash. Just you wait.
Carly: You're wasting my time. I have someplace to be, and I don't tell Jason what to do.
Tracy: You tell everybody what to do.
Alan: Wonderful -- red cape, meet bull.

Not so awesome: Nikolas' violent outbursts. Apparently he's been blacking out and since he doesn't remember these fits of violence, the writers are hinting that he may have killed Leticia. Crap. The poor guy finally gets a storyline and this is what you hand him? Oh, and I don't care what is wrong with him. Nothing you say or do can make this okay:

Nikolas: I know that you think your divorce is the end of the world for you, but for God's sakes, Lucky, you have two kids, a career and your health and guess what? You get to get it on with Sam McCall too! So what the hell are you complaining about?

Inappropriate! Sam is your flippin' cousin, man!

Speaking of Lucky, his divorce turned ugly this week as Elizabeth refused to agree to Alexis' handling their divorce. The argument deteriorated as both began listing off their transgressions, but Liz couldn't seem to take to responsibility for her actions. I'm not sure who thinks we find this entertaining. I repeat. Taking a once well-loved couple and tearing them to shreds just so you can play musical beds is not okay.

Meanwhile, Jason continued to have Spinelli investigate the Zaccharas. What about Stan? Anyone remember him? Spinelli's a total spaz and can grate my nerves, but I have to say, the message he left on Sonny's voicemail was quite entertaining.

Spinelli: Oh, I hate voicemail! Doesn't anyone have the common decency to answer their -- ahem -- good afternoon, Mr. Corinthos, Sir. It is I, The Jackal. I have patiently heeded your warnings and avoided direct phone contact between us, but The Jackal fears there is much danger, and since Stone Cold is curiously incommunicado -- look, I -- I just -- at the risk of your wrath, I ask you to return my call when you receive this message. Many sincere thanks. With love, The Jackal.

With love? OMG that's priceless!

Lulu continued acting ridiculous this week as she defended Johnny to various people. Carly had been texting Johnny Z., the newest guy interested in Lulu (because we didn't have enough already) pretending to be Lulu and of course like all of Carly's plans, this one fell apart when Zacchara Jr. pulled out a gun. Jax rode in to save the day and Johnny's keepers helped haul him away (that rhymes, hee!). When Lulu found out she got all self-righteous and then contacted Johnny the second she left her cousin's house. During that entire conversation, Lulu sounded so idiotic that she made Carly appear stable, sane and logical. Bloody hell. What is this show coming to?

This week was decent for backburner characters who were dusted off and allowed to come out and play.

First we saw Coop for about three seconds. Maxie invited him to dinner to propose they try and work things out, but when he didn't respond the way she wanted, she left.

Then there was Georgie. We've been seeing her more lately, but I wish someone would give her her own storyline. I think the Georgie/Spinelli pairing could be cute because he's quirky like Dillon and it would be somewhat reminiscent of Robin/Jason (good girl and the mobster). However, I hate that she's once again, playing second fiddle to Lulu.

Skye came around for two seconds to talk with Ric about making an alliance. I'm not sure if the execs want to pair these two up, but if they do, I don't think I could buy into it. Skye would be a great bad girl, but I think Ric has much more chemistry with Alexis which was evident in the following scene where Ric argues with her about hanging out with Jerry. What exactly does Jerry need a lawyer for anyway? I could totally get behind a Ric-gets-jealous-and-he-and-Alexis-get-back-together storyline. I absolutely hate how that couple was broken apart, but I would actually being willing to forget all that and I am not usually a forgetful or forgiving person when it comes to soaps. That's how much I would love to see these two back together.

I also have to say that Alexis does get some pretty fabulous lines from time to time. Example:

Alexis: No, he just did you a really big favor. I was about to dump you as a client, but now he's made me so angry that I've changed my mind. If any man ever tries to control me again by threatening to take my children, I will hand him his ass.
Jerry: Yes, I'm quite sure you will, darling.

I just really enjoyed that.

Rounding out our surprise appearances for the week is Scott Baldwin. He received the results of the paternity test and surprise surprise, Logan is his son. While there was really now buildup or shock to the results, the one thing I did enjoy about these scenes was the reference to Scott's history and family. I love family references and I would love to see more focus on the family throughout the entire canvas. That should be a fundamental part of soaps. I'm just saying.

GH Night Shift: Episode 13 - "Time Served"

I............um..................uh.....................WTF show? Seriously, WTF was that? I can't even...........I don't get........... UGH!

Okay so the season finale pretty much followed the downward trend that this show has been following since Episode 2.

In the opening scenes we have Robin talking in the locker room about the crappy Night Shift.

Robin: I have learned to hate the Night Shift.

Word. That was the smartest thing I have ever heard anyone say on this show and I should have stopped watching right then and there because things got worse from there, like immediately. Case and point: Kelly's response:

Kelly: What you hate is that Patrick is sleeping with Leyla.

Real sensitive Kel. With such consoling words, who wouldn't want you as their BFF? In the first few minutes we also learn that Dubois is alive and has been in this "condition" for a week (they never explain the "condition" so I'll just call it a coma because that's nice and soapy) and the nurses are excited about graduating because they'll get to wear blue scrubs. I for one, was happy to see the pink go, but why must they keep the stupid matching pens hanging around their necks?

Jason is upstairs mopping the same spot outside of Toussaint's room and explains to Epiphany that he's keeping guard. When the nurse realizes that the former Saints singer could be in danger she gives Jason the okay to stay put and then tells the hitman if anyone gives him problems to send them to her. ...........................

Uh, Pip? His "problems" are generally armed and dangerous. I know your shouting has the ability to make an old man living on the Pacific Coast go deaf, but I'm not sure it will do you much good when a gun is being pointed at your head.

In the category of the dumbest things I've ever heard is Jolene saying she finds Spinelli attractive. Then again, she's a bit of a whack job so you know, the things she says don't always make the most sense. Oh yes, and then there was the irritating crossfades from scenes of Spinelli and Jason confirming that Jolene is the killer to scenes of said crazy nurse scheming evilly with Colonel Sanders in a dark room and for some reason during this conversation the Colonel decides to toss in "I used to love the Saints?" WTF? Apparently you didn't like them that much if you're willing to have the lead singer killed.

During the so-called "stars'" allotted one scene together per show Patrick and Robin actually discussed their relationship. You know, the committed relationship between two people who loved each other and fought so hard to be together? Oh right. I keep forgetting. That's on General Hospital. This is Night Shit (that's what I said). I can appreciate the scene they shared in the locker room because I could see hints of the sweet, sensitive Patrick I used to love:

Patrick: Well, I guess just, we have different life goals or..........doesn't mean I don't care about you.

And Robin actually stood up for herself:

Robin: I wasn't even sure that I wanted to have a child. If I considered having one, it was sometime in the near future. Then suddenly this woman comes into my life, she has a similar history to mine, she's having a baby and then she dies. Did I handle it well? No, not even close. But for someone who was supposed to love me, you made absolutely no attempt to help me or to even understand.

Hell, I think I was just glad that someone mentioned that Patrick and Robin used to have a relationship because you sure wouldn't know it from watching this show.

Downstairs Regina wheels another frickin' pregnant woman into an ER cubicle. As Kelly examines her, the pregnant teen from a few weeks ago enters the ER and suspiciously eyes these tough-looking guys in the waiting room. She nervously tries to get Kelly to move the pregnant patient upstairs to which the doctor replies that all of rooms in the delivery wing are full. Gee. Maybe it's because countless women have decided to have their babies at GH every Saturday for three months.

Anyway, it turns out her boyfriend Javi, is a rival of the guys in the waiting room. The gang members who are sitting in the waiting room are hiding guns in their slings, just waiting to jump Javi when he comes in. Number 1, who the hell wears a blue jean arm sling? Number 2, why are the bad guys on this show always Hispanic? I mean, even on GH Sonny's rivals are always Hispanic. Way to not be stereotypical show. Great job!

So after the girl ominously whispers it's too late, a shootout erupts. Now, parts of it were done well, but seriously? A shoot out on Night Shift? I thought the whole point of this show was to focus on the hospital because the mob stuff has pretty much overrun General Hospital. ::sigh:: When will I ever learn not to trust people when they promise me things?

To recap the shootout:
*Leo was shot trying to rescue an injured medic (BTW, where was his iPod?)
*Patrick grabbed Leo and along with Robin and Leyla they helped save his life
*6 guys were killed and Jason and Robin thought Jason shot 5 of them (he probably killed all of them because he is forever the hero you know)
*Spinelli chunked his beloved laptop at someone as a weapon
*Jolene took a bullet for Spinelli
*Robin got captured after dashing across the floor (I think to pull Spinelli out of the way)
*Robin and Jason had some nodding moment (I think someone said this happened back in the day) where she ducked and Jason blew her captor away

Drama everywhere! And then .................. crap. Within two seconds everyone went about their business like nothing ever happened. It was insane. Minutes after the gun fight we find ourselves in Toussaint's room. During the shootout the former singer was having conversations with his younger self and I realized that he has good acting chops and should have held out for a better show if we wanted to make a comeback. As the janitor comes to, we now have Patrick and Epiphany joking and laughing with him, just moments after a FREAKIN' SHOOTOUT IN THE ER!!!! WTF times one thousand!!! During the gun fight, Patrick looks freaked out about Robin and afterward instead of checking on her, he's laughing it up with Epiphany and Toussaint. Why do I even bother?

Someone who did ask if Robin was alright was her Uncle Mac (nice to see you!). The thing that bothered me about the scene was there was no hug. Wouldn't he hug her? I guess it's small, but it bugged me.
Elsewhere in the hospital, Spinelli checks in on Toussaint and tries to explain that there was a shootout and that Jolene has been a very naughty girl.

Toussaint: You know, you've been known to get carried away son. That Jolene seems like a sweet girl.
Spinelli: Stone Cold apprehended Jolene as she was coming to kill you.
Toussaint: Has she been arrested?

I just loved the quick change of Toussaint's opinion of the seemingly innocent Jolene and the way he delivered that line definitely made me giggle. Something that didn't make me giggle was Jason saying it was hard to explain what he does (eliminates people for a living) and then Toussaint starts talking about talent (I think to parallel his life with Jason's) and that Jason has figured it out already. You consider killing people a talent? That's kind of twisted. Minus ten points, sir.

Of course as if the show hadn't been odd enough, it dished out a few more random moments:

The burn lady, who we haven't seen in weeks suddenly reappears sans bandages, but we never see her face.

Andy, who's been MIA all night, suddenly appears in the locker room with Kelly and they talk about their addictions. Kelly suggests they celebrate breaking their addictions by sleeping together in 72 days when she's completed her abstinence task and he's kicked his drug habit. Did they just schedule a f*#k date? Yeah, that's romantic and not at all disturbing.

Patrick and Leyla have some ridiculous conversation about waffles (cruel considering the Patrick/Robin breakfast convo early in the series) on the roof in front of that ugly fake sunrise.

Robin acts all cheerful with Jason even though she was being held at gunpoint a few hours earlier. Jason finally gets her to admit everything is not alright. He stares at the back of the burn victim for a moment before Robin walks him downstairs to the car.........................where Sonny's waiting for him. I knew they could not get through this entire show without a Sonny cameo! "A show that focuses on the hospital" my ass!

When Robin comes back inside, things really get freaky. She discovers that Patrick has a patient that was involved in a hit and run. The patient has a head trauma as well as internal bleeding and an abdomen that's firm and distended (sound familiar? Think MetroCourt crisis). Robin goes in to help and Patrick immediately tells her to get out and tries to push her back out the door. Robin argues and he says she's too emotionally involved when Leyla announces the patient's in dfib. They pull out a crash cart and you hear a "Clear!" as the camera cuts to Robin's who is wide-eyed as she stares down at the patient - herself. Suddenly, the eyes of the grey skinned version of herself lying on the gurney fly open and you're left with this creepy image of Robin staring at you as the screen fades to black.

And that's how it ends. A few conflicting thoughts here. So, can I assume that the writers took my advice to save themselves and decided to turn this whole mess into a dream? I'm sorry, but I've seen what destruction they're capable of and I'm not entirely certain I can credit them with planning out the whole dream thing at the beginning of all of this. If it is a dream, hooray because none of this icky crap happened. Then again, with a cliffhanger ending, does that mean there will be another season? If that's true, count me out. After this mess, I do not trust them to create a well-thought out show and if they're using the dream card now, chances are, they won't pull it out again.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Peace out Night Shift.

My Thoughts

I haven't seen the show yet, but I wanted to share my thoughts anyway:


"Ding Dong! Night Shift is dead. Which Night Shift? The Absurd Night Shift!

Ding Dong! Night Shift is finally dead.

Wake up - disappointed one, open your eyes, the nightmare’s done.

Wake up, Night Shift is finally dead. It’s gone where mob enemies go,

Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.

Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know

Night Shift is finally dead!"

Just Saying

Lulu is an idiot. Really, that's pretty much what I learned this week and I could stop the review right there, but for you smart souls who have been tuning out GH lately, I'll fill you in. After getting rescued from Anthony Zacchara's psycho son, Lulu moves in with Jason and Spinelli and then proceeds to return text messages from said psycho. After that Carly came and gave her best "stay away from badboys" speech which was laughable given her history with men. Lulu commented on the ridiculousness of her cousin doling out relationship advice, so the youngest Spencer isn't completely nuts, but I'm still questioning her sanity because of her current intrest in Johnny. It's not like she doesn't know he's off, I mean, she said it herself. So now, why is it alright to be hanging out with him and like he's harmless or whatev? What's the deal yo?

In other freaky news, Nikolas continued pumbling everyone in sight and denying it, but we were finally given a little insight ala Alfred - Nik doesn't remember becoming violent. Hmm........ Is it too much to hope that this is going to turn into something soapy? Probably, but I can still dream. So the dark prince promptly headed over to GH and asked Robin to check his blood for traces of the poison. I'm a little bummed because that was my explanation for his weird behavior and since it was the first thing they tossed out there, chances are his outbursts are a result of something else. I hope that they can tie it to some past event - his battle with encephalitis, his amnesia - oh the possibilities!

While his family was busy dealing with their troubles, Lucky was across town following their lead and trying to cope with the destruction of his and Elizabeth's relationship. The couple finally called it quits on their marriage (again) and did anyone else find it a little harsh how quickly Elizabeth moved out and had divorce papers drawn up? After Diane served Lucky with the papers, he became a little suspicious that Jason's lawyer was handling the divorce and requested Alexis' help. That may be the smartest move you've made in months my friend. After looking over the paperwork she noticed that Lucky basically has zero rights where Jake is concerned and Lucky decided to hire her to represent him in the divorce. I absolutely adored Alexis' comment:

Alexis: I'd feel a lot better if somebody were looking out for you.

So true!

Meanwhile, at camp Elizabeth, the recently separated nurse found a new house in record time, but what I don't understand is how she expects to pay for it. Last year her and Lucky and Cam were struggling to pay for that tiny apartment. Now she'll have a house payment and another child to care for all minus Lucky's income. I'm not the world's greatest mathematician, but something tells me this just doesn't add up.

Carly, Jax and the boys (the only family left in tact in Port Charles) came back to town after agreeing they weren't going to hide anymore. While Jax tried to use his business savvy to protect his family from Zacchara, Carly caught wind of Elizabeth's divorce and instead of consoling her cousin (that's right, they're only related when she needs something) she went to warn Jason to stay away from the single mother. One of the highlights of my week was definitely Jason's reaction to Carly's anti-Elizabeth rants:

Jason: Shut up about Elizabeth already! You don't know what you're talking about.
Carly: Okay --
Jason: You talk about Elizabeth like she's nothing, like she's not good enough for me, but you know what? It would make me happy to have Elizabeth and her boys to come home to. But don't worry, Carly, it's not going to happen because they wouldn't be safe. I'd rather live alone for the rest of my life than risk anything ever happening to them! So you know what? You can act up all you want, throw your tantrums, defy Sonny, defy me, but don't ever talk about Elizabeth like that again to my face.

The image of Jason yelling at Carly is forever burned in my memory and that picture will always put a smile on my face. I don't care so much about his Elizabeth gushing, but what was fabulous about the exchange was that Jason actually told Carly to shut up, Carly looked hurt, and Jason actually took another woman's side against Carly. There is so much right with that scene that it's pretty clear the usual writers must have been on vacation.

While Jason was babysitting Carly, Sonny was trying to take care of Kate. With some help from Jerry, the Godfather of Port Chuck pulled some strings and got her off with community service at GH. Emily and Elizabeth pretty much summed up what I think about Kate working with Epiphany for the next 6 months:

I swear they must be having a contest over there to see who can pull off the best WTH? look. I say keep them coming because I am soooooo enjoying them. The only other stipulation of Kate not going to jail was that she has to wear an ankle monitor and instead of graciously accepting the punishment, Diane of all people went off on a rant - about the unfashionable qualities of an ankle monitor. How do I feel about the issue?

Any other questions?

Speaking of Diane, I have to say that her ability to switch from shark, to fan girl, back to quick witty employee not afraid to call out her boss the mobster pretty much makes my day.

Sonny: Trevor Lansing is employed by a dirty mobster, which makes Trevor Lansing dirty.
Diane: I work for you, and I am pure as the driven snow. You are going to save yourself a lot of frustration if you just accept reality, accept the fact that there is no upside to a continued fight with Trevor Lansing.

Hi-larious! And then there was this:

Sonny: Do you ever hear yourself, Diane? The whole world does not revolve around your impressive legal brilliance.
Diane: No.
Sonny: No.
Diane: Of course it doesn’t. It revolves around almighty you -- your business, your ex-wife, your children by multiple mothers. Your devoted enforcer, who eliminates people whenever, wherever --

I love how when she calls Sonny on his faults, it always seems to go over his head. Maybe if he wore taller shoes that could remedy the problem.