GH: Night Shift Episode 11 - "Fools In Love"

When a television show starts to make you physically ill, it's time to stop watching. I reached that point weeks ago and I urge annoying feeling a little nauseous themselves, to abandon ship. With only two episodes left, it's safe to say nothing's going to improve and the captain is most definitely going down with this ship. It's not worth it, unless your a masochist, in which case, carry on.

For future reference, Night Shift Patrick is dead to me. There really is no excuse for his behavior or I guess more accurately, the writing of his character. After overhearing Robin order Leyla to restock a supply closet, he accused his ex of reacting unprofessionally to the fact that he was sleeping with the nurse. Like all Night Shift episodes, there was so much wrong with this scene:

#1 - Yes, Robin may have been out of line, but her comment was the most believable thing I've heard on this show. No matter what your line of work, if you're the newbie, nine times out of ten, you're going to get treated like crap.

#2- Patrick's a hypocrite (and as you know, I hate hypocrites) because how professional is it to offer special treatment to a student nurse just because she's putting out?

#3- The fact that Patrick's sleeping with someone else. It's been like two weeks since his breakup with Robin! I would expect this from old school Patrick, but not post in love Patrick.

#4- Where's the HIV public service announcement? Patrick and Robin weren't even sleeping together on General Hospital when we had to hear about the risk and precautions of that possible relationship EVERYDAY. Seriously, spermicidal jelly is my most hated word in the General Hospital dialect, right along with counter agent, paternity test and father/mother of my children. I understand the PSAs were necessary because execs had to show they were being responsible, so why are they suddenly stopping? I thought this was supposed to be a medically focused show so where are my statistics? Where's the mention of the risks involved with the fact that Patrick has been sleeping with an HIV positive woman for the last year and a half? I know this is alternate reality (add that to my list of hated GH words), but you can't say that mean's Robin's HIV isn't still intact because you, dear writers, reminded me that she bonded with Stacey because of their HIV!!

I think Robin said something about the situation being sleazy and that earns a big, fat HELL YES from me. This show has turned into a giant sleaze fest and as such, is no longer entertaining. The "stars" of the show had few scenes last night, but if they're going to continue acting like jerks, I'd rather not see them and be left with the few happy memories of them I have left.

The entire episode was painful and hands down the most disturbing part was Spinelli worrying about becoming a sex addict. Really? Of all the things you could be concerned about, this is the issue you chose to fret over? What about your addiction to pot? Instead of worrying about your weed intake and how it's damaged your brain, you're worried about possibly becoming addicted to sex after one roll on the OR table? The only amusing aspect of this entire subplot was Jason basically running in the other direction in discomfort. By the way, props to Steve Burton's hilarious expressions.

My laughter over his facial contortions almost made me forget that fact that the unintelligible cyber slacker got his first piece of actions from a killer - almost.

The episode's title shouldn't have been "Fools in Love" because the only person showing an emotion that remotely resembled love was Robin toward that little baby, but I'll get to that in a minute. The title should have been "Addicts" or "When Good Ideas Go Terribly, Terribly Wrong And Cause the Audience Permanent Emotional Distress." Well, that's a little long, so we'll stick to "Addicts" and heck, they could even play Enrique Iglesias' "Addicted" during the customary montage, just in case the writers feared that they didn't get their point across. Everyone's favorite addicts, Kelly and Andy, were turning into the hospital's next dysfunctional couple as they traded insults about their respective addictions:

Kelly: You're sick, Andy. There's no way in hell I'm going to let you treat my patients. You could nod off and paralyze some poor woman.

Andy: While you're sleeping with her husband in the waiting room.

Kelly: Fine. Go back to your room. Hook yourself up for another dose and when they find you dead, I'll be sure to get laid in your honor.

Ah, amore.

When Andy decided to self-medicate during his shift, Jolene screwed up his dosage, but Kelly saved him just in the nick of time. While I'm talking about the angel of death, I need to address something that left me a tad befuddled. While Jolene was attempting to break into Andy's room, Jason caught her and she deflected his suspicions. What I don't understand is how Jason, the greatest sniffer outer of truth, couldn't spot a lying murderer when she's standing right in front of him in bright, pink scrubs.

In the category of things that don't make sense is Toussiant's test results. Patrick just now got them one week after the singer turned janitor collapsed in the middle of the hospital? Pretty sure Jolene isn't needed to make GH look bad. The staff seems to be doing a good job of it all on their own. Another confusing aspect of the show was Ford continuing to act like something akin to a human being. For example, he lifted Regina's suspension. Speaking of her, what was up with the "credit to [the] race" comment? Listen to me writers. Next time you want to take on race issues, don't. Ford also showed what I think was compassion when Lainey's father died. What the hell, show? Stop screwing with my universe! I am so not enjoying this "up is down" crap.

In a not so shocking turn of events, Lainey's dad finally moved on thanks to some assistance from Cody who shut off his machines. I was tempted to feel sad or moved by the scene because it reminded me of Anthony Geary's Emmy-winning portrayal of Luke turning off Lucky's ventilator (seriously, if you watch those scenes and feel nothing, you're not human). But then I saw Lainey's getting arrested for her father's murder in next week's previews and I skipped touched and went straight to annoyed.

Considering the crap she's been handed, Kimberly McCullough should be given a standing ovation for what she's done with the incredibly wanting material. Anna/Rebecca's daddy Curtis randomly runs through the hospital toward the end of the show screaming that Robin has stolen his baby and that he wants "the bitch arrested." Turns out that Robin has not stolen the baby, but has taken her to the roof where they can say their goodbyes and she absolutely sold that scene.

Robin: Have an amazing life, Anna Rebecca "Charmed One" Sloan. Believe in yourself. Um, learn from your mistakes. And don't be afraid to give your heart. And if it gets broken, don't be afraid to give it again. In other words, do as I say and not as I do. Oh, God. Now I really do sound like your mother. (Jason enters the rooftop) I knew that someone was going to find me up here. I'm glad that it was you.

Jason: Curtis is, is flipping out.

Robin: I know. I was going to bring her back before anyone noticed, it's just that ... well, this is the last time I'm going to get to hold her. I just don't want it to end.

Jason: I know. You try to memorize the feel of them breathing and the shape of their face so...

Robin: Yeah.

Jason: ...you have something to hold onto when they're gone.

Robin: Does it work? (Jason smiles ruefully) There's this theory that uh, early childhood memories come back to you when you're older in your dreams. I just hope that if she ever dreams about me, she knows how much I love her.

And she delivers this while she's holding a baby in her arms...

...and crying.

In a word - heartbreaking.

Yet somehow, no matter how awesome McCullough's performance was in that one scene, it can't make up for the mess that was the rest of the show. Oh well. Life is full of disappointments and I guess this is just one more of them.

Only 2 episodes to go. I say we throw a party to celebrate the death of this travesty. Anyone care to join me?