Just Saying

So as Jason's trial started this week, I decided to take a nap because call me crazy, but this storyline doesn't have me on the edge of my seat. We all know how this is going to end and if you don't, you obviously have not been watching this show very long.

For me, the highlight of the show was the Eli Love storyline which I am loving in all of its soaptastic glory. At the cocktail party Patrick flipped when he thought Noah was drinking, but calmed down once he realized his shot glasses were full of nothing but water. The water actually came in handy later when Anna got rid of a really annoying groupie. This:

Lead to this:

The kiss which was simply part of the ruse (right Anna?) shocked Robin and Patrick who decided their parents must be sleeping together once Noah showed up to work with a smile on his face and talked about hanging out with Anna into the wee hours of the morning. Robin became so flustered that she flat out asked Noah if he was sleeping with her mother. I don't care how upset you are, that is not a question you ask if you are suspecting it because I can guarantee you will not like the answer.

The younger generation of Devane and Drake were left to devise a way to keep their parents apart and after cutely freaking out, they decided to act indifferent to their parents' interaction(think backwards "Parent Trap"). After work, they headed to Patrick's apartment to erase the images of their parents going at it with a night of wine and sex. It sounded like an excellent plan to me.

While the two doctors were cutely cuddling at home, the rest of Port Charles was being affected by Jason's trial (yes, another one). Fresh from breaking up with Jason, Sam had to deal with Carly who was doing what she does best - kicking people when they're down. Carly marched her smug butt up to the penthouse and antagonized Sam until a good, old-fashioned cat fight broke out. I've been waiting for these two to go at it for quite a while and I was only disappointed that it was broken up so soon by Diane who was warning them that the police were on their way to search the apartment for evidence. Carly yelled at the cops and continued yelling at them for the rest of the week. You know what storyline I would like to see Carly tackle? Strep throat so she would be too hoarse to talk. Nah, that's too kind. How about having her her rendered a mute by shards of glass damaging her vocals cords? (thanks DOOL's Sami for the inspiration)

The only time I found Carly bareable was during her scenes with Alexis, but perhaps it was because she was hiding and Alexis was doing most of the talking as she tried to unsuccessfully coax Jax's location out of Jerry. After awkwardly inviting Jerry back to the house for wine, animal crackers and fish sticks (what man could resist that?) Ric arrived unannounced and was peeved by Jerry's presence. I love Nancy Lee Grahn and Ric Hearst together so I'll take any scene I can get, even if it's arguing. What's sort of nice about the recent Ric/Alexis scenes is I hear a hint of jealousy in Ric's voice (hooray!). After Ric leaves, Jerry calls Alexis and Carly out on their scam and the party ends. Oh well. Hopefully the wacky hijinks with these crazy kids still await us in the future.

After dealing with Carly and walking away with a sprained wrist, Sam had to put up with Elizabeth asking her not to use her testimony to put Jason behind bars. Honey, you should be worried about your own testimony. You're the one who was with Jason when he got the call from Sonny to off Alcazar. Elizabeth let this little piece of information slip to Lucky (her husband, the man she "loves") who was upset that she hadn't mentioned it previously. Lucky's getting suspicious and with sweeps approaching, I'm willing to bet he'll find out the truth. I'm just hoping I get to see him tear into Elizabeth because that smug look she's been wearing on her face for months has gotten on my last nerve.

Now we come to Jason - the center of the Port Charles universe. As the hitman with the "secret pain" is being transfered back to the PCPD, he's attacked by three gunman. His hands and feet were shackled together but somehow he managed to save Amelia and kill all three gunman, but you know, he's not a cold-blooded killer. You're honor I swear it isn't true. Uh huh. Right. Anywho, it was alright that Jason shot and killed those men because you know, they were Venezuelan. I kid you not. That is totally how it sounded. Everyone was all, they're Venezuelan so they must be Alcazar's men. Am I detecting a hint of racism? Just because you hail from South America, then you must be in Alcazar's gang or hang out with some other mobster. Something for you to chew on ABC execs: why are Hispanics always mobsters?

In other news, Lulu was placed under house arrest by the Q's (ha!) and she's been sneaking over to "take care" of Logan's bullet wound. By the way, take care means make up. Crazy kids today! What will they think of next. It's obvious that the powers that be have wanted to match these two up for a while, but I'm not finding it believeable. To make matters worse, the back and forth and the inconsistencies are making me dizzy.

Creepy Cody from Night Shift was found his way to daytime and apparently has a problem with Logan. To find out what Logan did in Iraq, Maxie agrees to score him some pills from the hospital, but changes her mind. Coop saves her from a compromising situation and afterward pours his heart out to her about how much she means to him. This heartfelt confession led Maxie to call off her deal to sleep with Logan. Thank God! because that potential storyline was skeevy beyond belief.

Oh yes and not that's it's really news, but Sonny nailed Kate while she was under the influence of a "libido enhancing drug." Wow, he's a keeper for sure. Remind me never to visit Port Charles because I would rather not have the man equivalent of Carly (AKA the town bike) stalking me. I think Spinelli should change Sonny's name from the "Godfather of Port Charles" to like the "PC manwhore." What? It's not like it isn't acurate. I am just saying.

GH: Night Shift Episode 3 - Paternity Ward

Typically it takes a while for me to adjust to a new character (I know, it's shocking to think that I'm hard to please) but Dr. Leo Julian has earned himself a new fan. On this week's episode of Night Shift, the wannabe rocker has shown he has a fantastic bedside manner.

So Mrs. Storch, the broccoli lady returned and Dr. Leo discovered she had pneumonia and was going to need to stay in the hospital. Broccoli lady does a fantastic job of looking teary eyed and scared and Dr. Leo squeezes her hand and kisses her temple and I about died!! That may have been the sweetest thing I have every seen!! As if that wasn't enough to put him in my good graces, he earned extra points when he knocked Sneed off her high horse when she decided to jump over Regina for "dealing drugs" to patients.

I think I'm in love.

In actuality, she was giving Mrs. Storch sample medication that Dr. Affectionate prescribed once he found out she was having trouble paying for all of her meds, but it doesn't appear that Mrs. Storch won't be around to use them. In one scene someone comes into her room and injects her IV with something and I think she smiled at them. In the next scene, her eyes close and her head falls back against the pillow. Totally knew she was going to die (because throwing your head back with closed eyes is the universal soap symbol for death right?) and it's sad, but on the bright side, no more frightening clown needlepoint. Seriously, who does not think clowns are terrifying?

Okay, continuing with the happy - I'd like to say how thrilled I was to get a Noah shoutout Thursday night. Unfortunately, Rick Springfield has concerts to perform and can't make it to Night Shift tapings, but I'll take a name mention. This week, an angry Patrick calls Noah to chew him out for questioning Patrick's decision to give a patient to okay for surgery (ooo, big surprise there). This week's main patient for Patrick and Robin was a 20 year-old guy who wrecked his porsche after storming out of his parent's house. The dad was a real ass who apparently thinks his son is a disappointment. This father and son conveniently reminded Patrick of him and his father because they fight and he had a porsche so he calls Noah and tells him he really liked the car (it's better than the constant screaming so I'll take it). By the way, the episode's title was "Paternity Ward." Get it? Because everything revolved around father/son relationships. Those clever bastards!

So car wreck boy developed cerebral edema which was the same condition Jason had (gasp!). Robin runs into Jason and she mentions it to him and says she was thinking of Alan (Jason's father). Instead of mopping floors this week, Jason was babysitting Jake - his son that he thinks no one knows is his yet in reality half the town knows his "secret" - because Elizabeth, who brought Jake to GH to get some amoxycilin for his earache, was called into surgery by Epiphany. Can you really do that? I mean I know doctors are on call and all that, but are nurses too? Whatever, I realize it was just a reason to make viewers watch Jason's "secret pain" because you know, it's not like we see it everyday on General Hospital or anything.

As Jason babysat, Elizabeth assisted on surgeries (that we didn't see, come to think of it, I think I've seen more surgeries performed on GH, yup, fantastic medical show!) and low and behold one of the patients was brought in for multiple gunshot wounds. Liz talked to the patient's girlfriend/babymama who revealed her babydaddy lives a dangerous lifestyle and she can't handle it. Gee, I wonder who that sounds like. You know, I like drawing parallels between characters, but when it's so blatant and it's done to everyone in the same night, it kind of loses its effect.

While I'm on the subject of things that bothered me, I would like to once again turn our attention to differences between daytime and nighttime characters. I realize execs said the characters would be sort of different on Night Shift, but this has become so ridiculous that even poor Jake is getting in on the act.

General Hospital Jake:

Night Shift Jake:

The General Hospital night shift is so intense that baby Jake grew a full head of hair within 20 minutes!! I know, I know, T.V. shows generally have to use more than one baby for the same part. In this case, I'm willing to bet it's because the first kid needed CPR and was put on oxygen after being strangled by Steve Burton's massive forearm.

Someone else in need of oxygen was Dr. Andy Archer. He was breathing from an oxygen tank randomly throughout the show I think to stay awake, but I'm not so sure. When this guy was first introduced on General Hospital a few weeks ago, he annoyed me because I thought he was another egotistical jerk, but now I've realized, he's just socially inept. He attempted talking to Leyla about a surgery he performed and ended up sounding ridiculous. Later, after he and Mrs. Storch both made a deal to not be afraid of life, he proceeds to ask Leyla out for pancakes, badly. It was seriously hard to watch as the guy totally crashed and burned. What made it worse was Leyla didn't even respond. She just walked off. Would it have really been that hard to say "No, thanks?" All I could think was bitch! I seriously don't like her and I'm starting to think she's a little psycho (ok, so I'm hoping so then I'll have an even better reason to hate her, you know, other than the fact that she exists). Her most recent sketchy action was sneaking into Mrs. Storch's room, who then mysteriously died (I'm assuming). If she is psycho, she's probably the one that tampered with Dr. Boyd's IV. Dr. Boyd was tired and Dr. Archer suggested he nap while inserting an IV into his arm (I have no idea what was in it and frankly it creeps me out). So when the machine was tampered with, the doctor remained passed out and missed his surgery. Let's recap, smug nurse possibly killed an old lady, potentially knocked out a surgeon and unmercifully rejected a bumbling doctor. Yep, I don't like her.

I suppose I shouldn't feel too badly for Andy because Kelly made him feel all better in no time. Dr. Lee was definitely on the prowl this past week:

* On the last Night Shift, she showered with Stan.

* On General Hospital she tried to hook up with Jerry Jacks.
*On this week's Night Shift she hit on Dr. Jullien and slept with Dr. Archer.

She once again ended up in the shower, but this time she was fully clothed and was hugging her knees to her chest. Apparently Kelly feels badly about being a slut and perhaps there's an interesting back story? Color me intrigued.

One storyline that I wish would end is Lainey's story with crazy Cody, the vet. He is just creeping me out and his clothes are ridiculous. Listen, Night Shift wardrobe workers, just because he was in the army does not mean he only wears camoflauge. In fact, since he has PTSD or whatever, why would he would wear something that constantly reminds him of the war? It looks like I may get a small reprieve next week because Lainey received a phone call that something is wrong with her father. If I remember correctly from the 2 second storyline she got on GH two Christmases ago, her father has Alzheimers. I'm crossing my fingers and hopping for the best.

Spinelli once again provided the laughs as he introduced Lulu to Jolene in an effort to peak the nurse's interest in him. He invited her to a tech expo and she turned him down, but at least she brought him BBQ chips and orange soda to soften the blow (take notes Leyla).

There was also a few pieces of dialogue that deserve mention:

Touissant: Tell me something, what do you do for a living when you're not shooting your friends in the foot?
(He shoots other people in the chest, duh)

Jason: I'm a coffee importer.

Touissant: (laughs)

Squee!!! He continues to taunt Jason and I love him for it!

Epiphany: Incoming! Saturday night special en route. Multiple gunshot wounds. (glances at Jason) Well, at least we know who isn't involved.

(Hee!)

Mrs. Storch: (To Jason who's holding Jake): He's going to be a real lady killer when he grows up.
(Yup, but since his daddy's a hitman, it's probably not the way you're thinking)

Spinelli: I like to play with children.

I think I'll end with that last quote because it pretty much speaks for itself.

Keeping Score

secret (se'krit) - n. 1. something known only to a certain person or persons and purposely kept from the knowledge of others

Alright, so after this week's episodes I've decided I need help keeping track of this so-called paternity "secret." I've been surprised that certain people knew as much as they did so I've come up with this handy-dandy chart to help me keep up:

Knows about ONS and baby paternity:
Jason
Liz
Sam
Spinelli
Lulu
Sonny
Amelia
Diane

Knows only about ONS:
Ric
Kelly
Nikolas
Epiphany
Emily
Carly

Maybe knows about ONS"
Cruz
Alexis
(I think these guys know, but I'm not 100% sure)

So basically half of Port Charles knows Liz and Jason's "secret" and not very many people will be shocked when the "truth" comes out. I vote Jason and Liz come up with a new word to describe their situation. Maybe I should lend them my dictionary...

Just Saying

Comedy is a must for a soap to be bearable. I know part of any good soap is drama, but a little funny is necessary to balance out the sadness. Enter Eli Love storyline. This a ridiculous plot, but I love it just the same, but I suppose I'm biased because I do love all of the actors involved. I am enjoying Finola Hughes go all fangirly and I am excited to see Rick Springfield be able to bring his true personality to GH. I especially loved the scene in Friday's show where Robin gets all annoyed at her mother grabbing Noah's butt. I don't blame her because I've had the honor of meeting Rick Springfield and yes, his body is quite impressive in person.

I thought it was a nice twist to add the fact that Eli is a drinker while Noah is a recovering alcoholic. Way to stir up some drama GH (thumbs up). What I don't like is how everyone seems to think Noah can't pull off the sexy, arrogant thing. Um, this is classic Noah Drake behavior. Observe any of the following classic Noah Drake clips:

http://rickspringfieldfans.com/roles/gh/ghtv1.html

I'm also not liking how ridiculous some of the characters in this storyline are starting to look (thumbs down). Patrick's afraid his father's going to drink (a valid concern), but what I don't understand is why a brilliant doctor such as himself cannot come up with a logical reason. For example, why doesn't someone doesn't just give him a glass of water and pretend it's vodka? Oh wait. Isn't that exactly what Anna did? I'm sure come Monday the kids will get all pissy that Daddy Drake drank and then they'll look foolish when the parents explain it was high quality H20. Now if some idiots decide that Anna should really give Noah alcohol to keep up the ruse, which in turn makes her look like an inconsiderate bitch, I will be pissed. Why would I not put something like this past the powers that be you ask? Um, have you watched this show?

In other couply news, the relationship between Jason and Sam (called JaSam by some fans) has officially died (2004-2007). Thanks to Spinelli's hacking abilities, Sam was permitted to visit Jason (as is half the town apparently) and ended up breaking things off with him. Those scenes definitely left me wanting. I was glad that Sam did the breaking up because she looked liked she was trying to assert her right to not be second (or third, or fourth, or fifth if you really think about it) in Jason's life. What annoyed me the most was how Jason kind of just mutely sat there. I would have liked some sort of response except if you tell the truth about my son, I'll turn you in for being an accomplise to the babynapping. I think this pretty much sums up how twisted their relationship has become. GH is not known for keeping couples together, so the breakup wasn't a big surprise, but what bothers me is why should I invest in any couple if this is what it's going to turn into? JaSam was pretty big in the day, when the writers actually wrote for them that is. If a popular couple gets torn to shreads like this, I think it means no one is safe, which sucks because I thought soaps were supposed to be about hope and undying love.

Speaking of broken couples, let's check in on Lucky and Liz for a second. They are the other half of this love rectangle and they've all been headed for disaster for the past year. For Pete's sake, just put everyone out of their misery and end it all please!! The powers that be are not at all subtle and the Jason and Liz pairing has been in the works for quite some time. This week Lucky wanted to prove to Liz that he trusts her, so he got her permission to visit Jason in Pentonville. Nice gesture, but I think he needs to ask himself how much he can reallly trust her. Yes, I know. Lucky was a bad, bad boy last summer, but I am so tired of him looking like the fool. Liz is at fault here too, but you know since she's soon to be Jason's new mother, she'll be able to do no wrong.

In other barely mentionable news:

**Lulu cared for Logan's wound and ended up making out with him before calling him a jerk and protesting her feelings for him. I'm sure they'll wind up in the sack by the end of the month.

**Kate threw herself at Sonny after accidentally taking some of her bosses' little, blue pills for her headache (disturbing, but mildly amusing). I'm sure those two will wind up in the sack by week's end because you know, he's Sonny and he pretty much gets a crack at every woman in town.

**Carly asked for Alexis' help (ha!) getting Jerry to spill the beans over Jax's whereabouts. Carly searched Jerry's room and got cornered when Jerry brought Alexis there to talk. Now Carly needs Alexis' help to escape and I kind of hope she let's her hang for all the crap she's pulled with Alexis because Alexis rocks and I love her.

I'm just saying.

GH: Night Shift Episode 2 - Skin Deep

No, no, no, a thousand times NO!!!!!! Nothing about seeing this on my screen Thursday night was alright: Now I was told that Night Shift was supposed to be about Robin and Patrick. I heard it straight from the horse's mouth: http://youtube.com/watch?v=iZ9gtTLKGfs

You sir, are a liar. Liar, liar pants on fire! Jason was in every freakin' scene Thursday night!!! Even when the scene wasn't about him, the powers that be found a way to have him walk in front of the camera. I was settling into the idea that having Jason on Night Shift wouldn't be a bad thing because he will be a janitor (hilarious, by the way) and Steve Burton will have the chance to show some emotion. I thought to myself, "Self, he's been on the show a long time so the powers that be probably felt it was the right thing to do to give him some airtime." Then I thought to myself, when has that ever mattered to them? Vets like John J. York, Jackie Zeman, Stuart Damon, John Ingle, Leslie Charleson get little or no screen time so obviously years of loyalty to the show mean nothing to them.

Back to my point - I'm not ragging on Steve Burton, I'm not. I'm sure he's a lovely person, but this "Jason Morgan all the time anytime attitude" is beyond annoying. Now that they're bringing daytime Jason to Night Shift, I'm not so sure I'll be able to watch anymore. These characters are supposed to be somewhat different from their daytime counterparts, but that's obviously a load of bull. Case and point:

Daytime: Jason is a hero even though he is a hit man.
Night Shift: Jason saves not one, but two women in the first episode.

Daytime: Women love Jason.

Night Shift: Robin's leaning on him for support, Jolene has a crush on him and even the older lady is gone on him which is really disappointing because I liked her.

Daytime: Jason is in every scene.

Night Shift: Jason is in every scene, even though everything takes place inside of the hospital and he is not a doctor!!!

While all this is happening, Patrick and Robin, the stars of the show, are on for 3.2 seconds - blink and you'll miss them. If this is what's it's like to be a star, screw it. I'll be an extra anyday. Really GH execs? Seriously?? If I wanted to see mobsters be hailed as heros and doctors fading into the background so you can bring me shootout #1,694, I'd watch General Hospital.

The one bright spot in the entire episode was Billy Dee:

*He picked on Jason and said he couldn't shoot straight (hee!).

*He called Dr. Ford a Jackass.

Eeeeeee!!!! He is my hero!! And no, GH execs, contrary to your beliefs, heroism is not only restricted to those who wear the same leather jacket and t-shirt day in and day out and kill people who piss off their pint-sized pal for a living.

Just Saying

To get everyone up to speed Just Saying is simply the titlt my review of the week's worth of GH. I will post the old links later on. Let's get to it, shall we?

So my Dillon is gone, but I was all sorts of glad that he didn't leave in a body bag as did the last few actors who opted not to renew their contracts (Ted King, Ignacio Sanchez). I adored that Scott Clifton was given more than one day for Dillon to bid farewell and I love the idea of him going off to do something he loves. His scenes with Jane Elliott were fantastic as was his final exit - backing out of the room, opting not to say goodbye and blowing everyone a kiss. The one black spot on the whole event was the serious lack of GQ time. There was waaaaayyyyy too much emphasis put on the Lulu stuff. Dillon hasn't talked to her in months. Spinelli's been her go-to guy and then poof Dillon reappears and is all "I want to stay for you, blah, blah, blah, blah." That time could have been better spent on scenes with Georgie. I mean I thought this show was big on first loves and those two went through so much together. The little bit we did get though, I'll admit was pretty awesome. Quality over quantity I suppose. Best of luck to Scott and should he want to return at some point, I hope he brings the real Dillon with him.

With Dillon gone, the teen scene got a little smaller and I honestly wasn't too interesting in their storylines. Coop and Logan were involved in a shootout which led them to stand up both Lulu and Maxie who spent their time snarking at each other. I think this was just so Logan would get shot and Lulu would take care of him and he could pressure her to admitting she likes him. I'm still not buying them as a couple, but clearly the powers that be could care less about what I think.

One Spencer I am interested in is Lucky. Would someone please cut him some slack? Carly, his off again on again cousin rips into him over arresting Jason and Liz comes along and defends him only to let him know she only did because she was obligated, not because she believes. Wow. And winner of this year's heartless bitch award goes to.............................................
Elizabeth.
Shocker I know. As if you weren't convinced that sweet Eliza-who? has turned into nasty Elizabitch, the writers had her being rude to Lainey. I get that she was offended, but what is not okay is how suddenly everything Liz does is right simply because she wants Jason. I mean Epiphany told Lainey to back off. Are you kidding me??!! Epiphany supporting Liz does not sit well with me, it just doesn't. Oh yes, and reason # 138 why I don't like Elizabeth: sneaking into Pentonville using Lucky's badge. "It's only Lucky's career I'm putting on the line. Who cares?" I haven't always hated Elizabeth, but since Jake's conception, she's seriously been grating on my nerves. I am still paying for idiot who thought last year's Summer of Seduction (more aptly called Summer of Sleaze by smart fans) storyline was a good idea. I am paying for it and paying in spades.

Another victim of last year's summer storyline is Sam and I never thought I would get back to liking this character again, but after her impassioned speech to Sonny, I am slowly inching my way back to her corner. I'm also sort of liking that Alexis is her mother because without Jason, she's about all Sam has left. I love seeing Nancy Lee Grahn on my screen, but what I don't love is that they're trying to pair her Jerry. For the love of God, can Alexis not date/marry all the brotheir pairings in Port Charles (Sonny/Ric, Jax/Jerry)?? The only bright spot in this whole thing is the brief Ric/Alexis scene I got. I love my Rexis because NLG and Ric Hearst act well off of each other.

So on the hospital front (yes, this soap does have a hospital, who knew?) Lainey and Stan finally went out and they're obviously heading for coupledom, but again, cynic that I am (get it?), I'm not totally into it yet. I'm content to give them a while before I say something completely nasty, not that I would ever do that. Patrick and Robin operated on a patient without insurance in a setup for Night Shift, but as much I enjoyed seeing them on my screen everyday (Eeeee!!!) I was stoked for the return of Anna Devane.

Apparently she's a big Eli Love fan and she's going to help Noah (Rick Springfield in a dual role, double Eeeee!!!) impersonate the rocker so he can perform at an AIDS benefit. While this storyline is cheesy and soapy beyond belief, I'm actually excited for it. I feel bad that the vets can only be used for comedy when they are capable of so much more, but as long as I have them on my screen, I'll bite my tongue. Finola Hughes is already a riot and I'm sure Rick letting his real personality shine through will be equally entertaining. The possibility of Patrick and Robin catching their parents in compromising positions has definite potential, plus this is Scrubs we're talking about here. How can you go wrong there -- and no, GH writers, that is not an invitation to try. So, I will happy accept this corny storyline because it could be a lot worse, like the trainwreck that is Sam's life. I'm just saying.

Hilariousness

So yesterday's show was made bareable, but some pretty hilarious dialgue. Observe:

Bernie: Of course. And may I say that I have been very impressed by the way that you have handled Mr. Corinthos' and Mr. Morgan's affairs since you came onboard? It's -- it's a comfort to know they're in such lovely and capable hands.
Sonny: Diane, could you give us just, like, a minute?
Diane: Certainly. I'll go get myself a latte. Do you want anything?
Sonny: No.
Diane: It was very nice to have met you, Mr. Abrams.
Bernie: It was my pleasure.
[Diane chuckles]
Sonny: Close the door, Brnie. Ok, let's just get --
Bernie: Ok.
Sonny: Diane is my lawyer. I don't want you hitting on her.
Bernie: And, all due respect, you're in no position to criticize.

Preach on my brother, preach on! Besides calling Sonny out on his crap, his flirting with Diane was great and watching her get a little school girly at it was great, but was awesome was the following:

Sonny: Diane!
Diane: You bellowed?
Sonny: Have I ever hit on you?
Diane: God, no.
Sonny: Would you like me to?
Diane: Huh?
Sonny: Have you had any interest in me other than being your client?
[Diane chuckles]
Diane: I'm sorry. Um -- ahem -- I would like to think I have a little more sense than that.
Sonny: Mm-hmm.
Diane: I've seen what happens to the other women who allow themselves to fall under your spell. Don't worry, I won't be making the same mistake as your previous attorney. No disrespect.

You know Sonny must have feeling that. I mean have the writers ever allowed him to be rejected?

Speaking of woman under Sonny's spell, two of his former lovers happen to be a mother daughter duo. I freaking loved this because it is ridiculous how tiny Kelly Monaco is:

Sam: You feeling better?
Alexis: Thank God you had one medium in your closet. It must be the only one you have.

Of course is was also hysterical when Sam offered her mother one of Jason's several leather jackets. That thing swallowed her whole.

Steve, if you're reading this, sweetie it's time to stop bulking up. I don't think GH execs can afford all of the green body paint you'll need to become the Hulk.

Okay so Spinelli provides comedy all the time, that's what he's there for, but what cracked me up was Jerry's response:

Jerry: A bit of advice while trying to intimidate your opponent -- first, wipe the chocolate off your mouth.
Carly: Leave him alone!
Jerry: That way, they might take you seriously. Don't worry. Mr. Jackal and I were just playing, weren't we?
Carly: You don't worry about my brother-in-law, he was just leaving. Get out of here.
Jerry: Give the boys my best. Bye, chocolate face.

Chocolate face??!! He's this psychotic killer and the name he comes up with is chocolate face?? And I think him getting all riled up about water conservation was funny.

Speaking of my Alexis, looks like she's headed to another pairing with a psycho, poor thing, but at least I know Nancy Lee Grahn will bring it as always. I love her one-liners and this is definitely one of my favs:


Alexis: Oh! God, must you lurk?

She delivered that line perfectly and I absolutely loved the look on her face. Now Sonny gets the last word everywhere else so why not in my blog. Check out this little jewel:

Sonny: No, the point is what I said before -- you know what? I tell you not to do something, you're going to do it, but you know what?

Dude, you married her countless times and you're just now figuring out that Carly does what she wants. Oh and here's a tip when someone divorces you, you're not allowed to tell them what to do. That's why you pay your "people" to hang around.

GH: Night Shift Episode 101

Um yeah, Night Shift writer, you have my attention. Now that's how you start a show. I know what you're thinking...."I thought they said Night Shift wasn't supposed to premiere for another 23 hours." Well thanks to the miracle of the Internet, Soapnetic provided an early showing. I believe in sharing so here's the link:

http://http//quiz.soapnet.go.com/soapnet/soapnetic/index

Sign up and once you launch it, click shows - GH - Night Shift Ep.1 If you rather watch it on your tele, the show will air on Soapnet at 5 a.m. EST and 11 p.m EST
Alright, enough with the PSA, on to my thoughts.

HITS
*The sexiness (shower sex, closet sex) was definitely a plus.

*Scrubs were fantastic all around (like there was any doubt).

*Mac!!!! I love seeing him, it's about time he gets a little screen time even if he has to be on Night Shift to get it.

*While the show is supposed to be a drama, I found myself laughing quite a bit. Spinelli of course offered quite a bit of comic relief, but who really surprised were Maxie and Coop. Let's just say I wasn't expecting to be so exposed to their "activities." The looks on everyone's faces when Mac catches them was priceless! As if that wasn't enough, I absolutely lost it went I saw the two of them emptying bed pans as punishment.

*Billy Dee - I like the subtlty of his character. I think I've already got him figured out, but I still look forward to watching his character pop up around GH.

*Mystery Jane Doe - I like mystery, but I'm not sure how I feel about the burn victim being Brenda. Everything points to her being the Jane Doe, but it just seems too obvious. I hope it's a little more complicated than all of that.

*The patients - I really enjoyed the different characters' stories. It was definitely refreshing and my favorite was the older lady, mostly because she had nice things to say about Robin (you know, instead of she's so jealous blah, blah, blah).

MISSES

*Ford and Sneed - I hated them with a passion already and then Dr. Jackass (AKA Ford) brushed off Mac and now I hate him even more!

*The show definitely moves much quicker which keeps you interested, but it also makes it hard to get really into a dramatic scene because just as you're getting involved the scene changes. They need to find some happy medium to where things to seem so rushed. I'm also interested to see what happens in the next few episodes because it seems like they through everything into this one episode.

*This is minor but another thing that could go is the CGI images of the town. They totally look fake and it's annoying.

*Regina - I don't really like the girl's acting. I know she's new, so I'll give her some time, but I'm just not feeling her.

*The dialogue was awkward in a few points, but again, it's the GH writers that's to be expected.

*Music - Some of the background music just didn't seem to fit.

Bloopers: (Because I love to point out mistakes)

*The actors who play Dr. Julian and Dr. Ford couldn't get their timing down. Julian can be seen through the door window just waiting for his cue before he "rushes" into the ER in his first scene. Dr. Ford is visible during Robin's first visit to Patrick right before he casually walks into rag on them about the night shift.

*The orderly that pushes Patrick to his MRI - isn't he the same guy that snuck Maxie pills last year and got fired? Wow, if that doesn't make me want to put my faith in Dr. Ford (who claims to run the hospital) I don't know what would.

So I had pretty mixed feelings about the whole thing, but when I start to think about the bad things I will easily forget it by focusing on the pretty:

**Cap credit goes to Kim.

Team Lucky

Lucky, Lucky, Lucky...... you poor soul. You must have the most inaccurate name in soap history... quite possibly in the history of the world. Would someone please tell me what Greg Vaughan did so wrong that the powers that be continually feel the need to do everything they can to make Lucky's life a living hell?

In the short time I've been watching this soap I've seen him hospitalized several times about to die from comas and being impaled in train wrecks (I'm convinced he's GH's answer the DOOL's Jack Deveraux - the character that's always "dying"). Of course there was the pill-popping fiasco that I pretend never happened. As if this wasn't enough bad luck, the guy married the love of his life only to end up divorced and then remarried to a woman who clearly doesn't not care for him and is lying to his face about sleeping with another man which resulted in a child that Lucky thinks is his - which it isn't by the way because you know, contrary to this guy's name, Lucky can never catch a break.

As if listening to Liz gripe at Lucky about arresting Jason wasn't already getting on my nerves TPTB went a step too far today and added Robin to the mix. Carly's rant I expected because:

A) She's Carly and all she does is rant
B) She only claims Lucky as her cousin when it suits her
C) It's Jason and he can do no wrong in her eyes

My issue with Robin is she is one of my favorite characters and I do not want to see her get infected by the contagious strain of bitch that seems to be infecting Port Charles. Lucky was so kind to her when she was beating herself up over Laura's recovering only being temporary. It made zero sense for Robin to be going on and on saying that Lucky should have bent the rules for Jason considering she's the one everyone accuses of being a hardcore rule follower.

Back to the issue at hand, for the love of hotness will someone please stand up for Lucky? Did anyone ever stop to think what would happen if Lucky did stop to kiss Jason's ass? Lucky is trying to fix the damage his pill popping did to his rep at the PCPD. This means he needs to follow procedure which includes arresting a terms-of-bail-violating-murder suspect. I know on this show it's a foreign concept that a murderer should pay for his crimes, but humor me.

It's clear this train is headed straight for a Jason/Liz pairing so please, I beg you, just let Lucky go and give him back his brain. If Lucky needs some comforting about the sad state of his life, I would be more than happy to offer him some comfort.

Pleasant Little Surprises

So there were a lot of pleasant surprises on GH yesterday -- there was a lot of ugly as well, but since this is my first post, let's try and keep it happy shall we?

First of all, there was a lovely shot of Rick Springfield's abs.

How can you go wrong with that? FYI, I have had the distinct pleasure of seeing those things up close and personal on more than one occasion and yes, they really are that amazing.

Something else that was amazing was Scott Clifton and Jane Elliot's performance. They had me from Quartermaine and I was totally shocked when Scott (who just randomly showed up at the Qs) had something constructive to say. I was so surprised to see him be less smarmy than usual and dare I say I was (gasp) enjoying his scenes with Lulu? Wow, I really need to stay out of the sun. Okay getting back to someone who I always love to see -good ol' Alice:

Alice: Who wants me to kick his ass and throw it out the door?
Monica: That's always amusing.

Yes, Monica. That is amusing. I often find myself more amused by characters with smaller roles than the ones that are constantly shoved down my throat which leads me to Sam, who FINALLY said something useful today:

Sam: Oh. It just -- it must be wonderful to be one of the chosen few. You and Jason and Carly, your tight little circle, gets to sanctimoniously decide what's best for everyone else, who we get to love and how much. You get to do whatever you want, we're just supposed to take it. And God forbid, sonny, God forbid if one of us have the gall to act out in hurt or frustration -- you'd beat us with the consequences and tell us we had it coming. I am "not" falling in line anymore.

Oh my God, they do know how Sonny and company look! Great, now that you recognize that these three can do know wrong and how annoying it is, I request that you promptly fix it. I also request that Sam gets a standing ovation for her saying exactly what everyone else is thinking and for finally getting some of her spine back. Right, I'm sure that will all happen when pigs fly. Wait, I think I can speed things along. Now where did I put those mechanical wings........?

Welcome

Welcome all to my new home on the Web! This is the rebirth of an old site, but hopeful this new and improved site will be, well, new and improved. I'll be sharing my thoughts on the soaps I watch and whatever else I feel like tossing in there. Lord knows I always have something to say about the shows I watch and I figure this is cheaper than therapy. Hopefully you all share your comments with me so I'm not having conversations with myself, which could require me really checking into the whole therapy thing and I'm pretty sure I can't afford that right now, plus those couches are sooooo uncomfortable.



So pull up a chair or stand on your head naked (hey, I don't judge -- unless you're a soap character) and make yourself at home. Welcome to the Soap Box.