Happy Days Are Here Again

Now that's a soapy Christmas!

I just caught the end of today's episode of Days of Our Lives and I am so glad I did. I grew up watching this show, but I've been a viewer on hiatus for a little over a year. What was so great about what tuning in today was felt like I never left. I may have missed details here and there, but I saw so many familiar faces. That is how a soap is SUPPOSED to make you feel.

Doug playing the piano and singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christamas" was a icing on the cake for me because what really touched my heart was seeing Gran sitting in her chair surrounded by her family. Four generations were gathered in her living room and that's what I like to see at the holiday times - FAMILY.

I know Francis' Reid's health hasn't been the best during the past year, so I was surprised, but so pleased to hear her wish her Tom a Merry Christmas.

::contented sigh::

I'm home!

BFFs or Frenemies?

Today Greenlee and Kendall made up (kind of) on All My Children. I realize that I'm new to the AMC scene, but for the life of me, I can't understand why Greenlee would want to be friends with Kendall.

Since I've started watching, Kendall's yelled at Greenlee repeatedly over Spike, planted false evidence on her computer and in her car, set her up for kidnapping and assault charges and slept with her boyfriend. I thought this was all just recent revenge because of the whole Spike thing, but then I caught the beginning of the retro AMC episode on Christmas. The two women were in wedding gowns, fighting over Ryan. Apparently Kendall had locked Greenlee up or some such soapy goodness to keep her from making it to the altar.

And this is the great friendship I keep hearing about?

Wow. With friends like these who needs enemies?

How Guza Stole Christmas

There was no freakin' Christmas party at the hospital. It was mentioned, but there was no party.

What the hell??!!

Christmas on General Hospital means party at the hospital. I turn to soaps for traditions at the holiday times. Way to royally screw it up GH!!!

Shall we list all the things that were wrong:

*The only doctor I saw on a day that should have been filled with doctors was Dr. Julian. I guess I also saw Alan, but I'm not sure I can count him. I thought about giving credit for finding a way for Alan to read the Christmas story............ but then I changed my mind. He didn't read the whole thing and then I remembered that he's still DEAD!!

*The only part of the hospital I saw was the waiting area and Luke's room. Neither of which showed signs of the hospital's Christmas party.

Speaking of, what was that??!! Was that ANOTHER dream sequence? Tony Geary did a great job with his monologue, but was that really necessary? Maybe it was because at the end of the show he walked into the dark.

Uh......did they just kill Luke freakin' Spencer??!! Jerks!! If he is alive, the fact that they left a cliffhanger on Christmas is just cruel and twisted!!

*Pretty sure the crappiness of show was compounded by the fact that all of the characters were depressed.

You know it's a sad episode when the bright spot was seeing that Steve Burton finally cut his hair.

Of course that gift was taken away because it looks like Michael's going to carry on the tradition.

Ho, ho, ho? I think not. More like bah freakin' humbug.

Worst. Christmas. Ever.

Thanks to LiznJase for the caps.

Just Saying

For those of you keeping track, I still hate this flippin' show because Georgie Jones is still dead. If anything else happened this week, I don't know what is was because I was too focused on this travesty.

I was surprised that Georgie was given a funeral, but I'm not sure it was better than the alternative. For starters, what was this:



Clearly someone took this picture last minute and it's so unflattering. That hoodie is awful and why is her gorgeous hair pulled back? What was wrong with using one of the cast stills they have on file like they've done with everyone else they've killed? Granted, that last round of promo shots were not flattering to Lindze at all, but what's wrong with the older ones? For example, this picture:
I got this from the General Hospital website. It took two seconds. Could the execs really not be bothered to look for a decent picture?

Hate. All I feel is hate and rage.


Another shocker was that Georgie's death brought Felicia (Kristina Wagner) back to town. I was surprised mostly because if memory serves, Kristina and ABC parted ways because they couldn't agree on a contract and possibly didn't part in the best of terms. The return of this vet should have been a plus, but unfortunately, her performance seemed..........off. Maybe it's because she hasn't worked with Kirsten Storms or maybe because there are hard feelings behind the scenes. If it's the latter, I'd like to think that Kristina cared enough about telling a story to suck it up for a few days so that Georgie was shown some kind of respect.



Felicia (the recast) faded into the background about two years ago and it took months (possibly a year) before anyone offered the explanation that she went to Texas to take care of a sick grandmother. As time went on she didn't contact her kids and the fact that no one took two seconds to say she called to check in was ridiculous. With Felicia's return came another explanation for her absence. I think the writers were trying to make it better, but the more she spoke, the worse it got:

Felicia: Mariah got worse. I couldn't take care of her by myself anymore. So I put her in a private health-care facility. It broke my heart, Maxie, but I didn't have any other choice. I was making arrangements to come back home and -- and I got a call. It was from Frisco. He was needing my help. He was in a situation that was deteriorating rapidly, and he didn't know who he could trust.
Maxie: Is Dad all right?
Felicia: He is now. It was touch and go for a little while, but we got through it, together. And then I realized how much I missed us -- how incomplete we were. In your life, Maxie, you get maybe one great love, and Frisco was that for me, but I couldn't live his life. You and Georgie were just babies, and I couldn't just pick up and leave on a moment's notice. So I had to make a choice. I know that you needed me more than Frisco did, so I had to let him go.
Maxie: And you regretted that ever since.
Felicia: No. That is not true. I have loved the life that I have lived in this house with you, Georgie, and Robin and Mac.
Maxie: Did you even love him? Because Mac is wonderful, and he was more of a parent to Georgie and me than you or Dad ever were.
Felicia: I'm well aware of that. Maybe that's why I felt comfortable to leave you with him.
Maxie: But Georgie and I were big girls, and we would have been happy just to know where you were -- to know you were with Dad. We would have kept your precious secret, Mom, even from Mac if you had asked us to, but you didn’t. And you have to tell me why.
Felicia: I didn't really have time to think. I just went. It all happened so fast. So then when I hooked up with Frisco, I couldn't call you. I mean, people were watching us, waiting to see how we were vulnerable. I didn't want to take the chance of putting you and Georgie at risk. Once things settled down, so much time had gone by that I didn't feel like I could make this call, so I kept putting it off. I wish that I hadn’t. I wish that I could hear her voice one more time. I wish that I had come back to see the young woman that she had become. I can see how angry you are with me. And I'll take that anger. I deserve that anger, because I wasn't here when you and Georgie needed me the most. And there's got to be a price to pay for that. But please don't ask me to regret the time that I spent with your father, because I cannot.



Why is it that GH has this incessant need to write all of the mothers and fathers on the show as "deadbeat parents?" Speaking of, this whole Frisco thing not showing up to his daughter's funeral is ridiculous. I really don't think Jack Wagner is planning on returning anytime soon (if ever) and if he did, it's safe to say he wouldn't be written for seeing as how this show abuses vets. I can't believe I'm saying this, but he's someone I wouldn't mind the show killing, especially if it meant saving someone like Georgie who still had a lot of story left to tell.


Another familiar face who returned to town was Dillon. His reaction was a little over-the-top for me, but I'm willing to let it slide because Dillon is a bit of an over-the-top character. Once again, I think the writers were trying to make things better, but they just made it worse. Dillon supposedly came back to whisk Georgie away to Canada to show her where they were going to be filming the movie he's working on. I'm sure he was there for Christmas, but it was a nice gesture that he wanted to spend time with Georgie. What was incredibly crappy was the timing.


Dear writers, this is the definition of the phrase "too little too late."


The way that GQ got destroyed by hurricane Lulu was ridiculous. If they wanted to toss in the abortion storyline, fine. It was controversial so it wasn't a bad idea to go there. What sucked was the fallout. It was obvious that they wanted to pair Lulu with Logan so to add Dillon to the other list of guys who were already chasing her was overkill and a waste of a funky character. When Dillon left town, his goodbyes focused way too much on Lulu instead of Georgie with whom he had a longer history with. I thought it was a huge slap to GQ fans. Yes, I am still bitter about that ridiculous driveby hug this summer.


The only good thing about this whole mess has been the acting by John J. York and Kirsten Storms. Those two have absolutely rocked their scenes. York is completely wasted on this show. A scene of mention is the exchange between Robin and Mac prior to the funeral:
Mac: I'm the police commissioner. I should've caught this bastard a long time ago. Instead, he's been free to roam, wreaking havoc. One of my daughters was attacked in my own living room. And now Georgie's dead.
Robin: Okay, you have to listen to me. You didn't let Georgie down once. You were the one constant in her life -- and Maxie's and mine. You were the one who committed to raising us when our parents couldn't or wouldn’t. You were there -- telling us to eat broccoli and do our homework, dealing with our raging female hormones, making us know every single day that we were just as loved as any kid in any normal family. Think of the person Georgie was -- smart, compassionate, loving -- that didn't just happen. She was a reflection of the best of you, Uncle Mac.
Mac: Whew.
Robin: You cannot control what's random. And believe me, you are the best parent any of us could've asked for.


I don't know how this little piece of gold found it's way into this crap pile of a show but I'll take it.

Maxie's eulogy was also a nice scene, except for the part where she tore into Felicia. It was totally inappropriate, but it was completely Maxie-like and it was soapy so it wasn't an entirely bad choice. What is a bad choice is the lack of reasoning behind this. The only thing I see coming from this death is it provides an excuse for Maxie to be angry with Felicia and we can have another "I hate my parents" storyline. There is no reason for her death other than laziness. The writers are too lazy to write for Georgie so it was just easier to kill her off.

Pure laziness.

When you kill off a character, make it count for something. Remember when Jesse Beaudry died? His death set up several stories: Noah's liver transplant, Maxie spiraling out of control and Lucky's pill addiction (partly). Georgie's death sets up diddly squat.

You know, I feel an odd sense of déjà vu.

I know why. Because I wrote about Emily's funeral a few weeks ago. Listen up GH execs. Murder, funerals and heartaches during the holidays is NOT a good idea. No one finds this entertaining.

I'm just saying.


Thanks to laurieluvsliason for the caps.

SNM = Soaps Negated & Marginalized?

What the heck is this?

I'm watching Soapnet, you know the channel for SOAP OPERAS, when I see a commercial for SNM. Since Soapnet's been reairing old GH episodes I figure, this is going to be reairings of great soap love scenes.

Um..... no.

Apparently it means Sunday Night Movie.

Okay....... so does this mean you'll be showing movies that have a large cast of soap actors like Corbin Bernsen's Carpool Guy?

No again.

Alright then. Let's see if I have this straight. On Sunday nights, if I turn on Soapnet, I'm going to see some cheesy old movie, not soaps, or even a movie about soaps.

::crickets::

I think we just found who's behind the destruction of the soap genre.

"The World is a Darker Place..."

Hate is not a strong enough word to describe how I feel about the creative minds who thought killing Georgie Jones would be a good idea.

How could you murder someone this adorable:


Number one, the timing sucks. Not only is this way too close to the time of Emily's murder, but it's the holiday season. You couldn't have waited a few extra weeks? According to this article, unlike Emily, this really is the last we'll see of Georgie which sucks because she would have made a great conscience to Maxie since that's the role she played in life anyway. I swear to God this is going to be the saddest soap Christmas I have seen in a long time, provided I continue to watch at all.

Second, there is absolutely NO SANE REASON for killing Georgie Jones!!! She is a sweet, understanding, good, loving character with a great sense of right and wrong. Those types characters are a NECESSITY on soaps. Viewers can only handle so many lying, backstabbing bitches who will never admit to their faults unless a character with no agenda and a good moral compass point those faults out to them. Characters like Georgie make us want to be better people and they give us hope that there really are kindhearted people still left in the world, fictional or not.

Another thing that irks me is how she was killed. Georgie is smart. I can buy that her blinders would go up if she thought she was protecting her sister, but the fact that she didn't even think to have backup when she ventured out to the park was ridiculous. The fact that she was out in the open instead of watching from the bushes with say Spinelli to see who showed up, was also ridiculous because Georgie would have thought to do that. How do I know this? Consider the following:

How many capers did she and Dillon get involved in?

Who are her parents?

Exactly.

Speaking of Spinelli, why could no one have clued him in sooner to Georgie's feelings?? This was just cruel, sick and twisted. This way Georgie leaves this world thinking she had gotten involved once again with some unrequited love.

Sick I tell you.

Sick and cruel.

Isn't it enough that you're taking this young, kind character from the show? I guarantee that fact alone is heartbreaking enough with adding all this extra sadness to it. Props to Bradford Anderson by the way. I'm continually impressed when they give him something serious to play instead of the goofy.

While we're on the subject of the mob, they were on waaaaayyyyy too much today. Georgie Jones is the daughter of fricken' legacy characters and she deserved so much more than what she got. Hell, Mac deserved better. He is like the only dad in Port Charles who actually takes care of his kids (his in every way that mattered). John J. York pulled at my icy heart today and it was so awful to see his character so devastated.

Mac: They got her, Lucky. They got Georgie.

No sadder words have ever been uttered.

The person that really got to me was Maxie (Kirsten Storms). Her reaction to Lucky's delivery of the bad news as well as the fit she threw when she was struggling to get to her sister once she arrived on the scene absolutely broke me.

Just like with Emily's death, I am beyond livid with the lack of goodbye scenes due to this idiotic killer storyline. For God's sake, Maxie and Georgie's last scenes involved them fighting over Coop possibly being the killer!! What the hell is that?!! Maxie shared some nice memories of her sister today, but you know what would have been nice? Actually seeing said nice scenes. What about a scene with Maxie apologizing for fighting? One where Maxie tells her sister that she understands she's just looking out for her and that's why she loves her.

Or what about a quick scene with Mac where he calls to check on Georgie and tells her how much he loves her and how proud he is of her? Hell, what about a scene with Robin, you know, her cousin? The person she really has the most in common with? As crappy as the writing has been lately (by recent I mean the last few years), I wouldn't be surprised if we never even see a scene where Robin finds out and honestly, I'm not sure these jerks will be kind enough to give Georgie a proper funeral. I swear to God if this all goes down in Robin's damn blog I will be one pissed off viewer!!

This whole event is an exercise in lazy writing. Writers, you already had an exit mapped out for Georgie, one that didn't involve death. She was going to study abroad, remember that? If Lindze's contract was up and you wanted to write her out, you could have written her into her study abroad adventure early. Maybe a spot opened up in the spring and the professors decided to offer it to Georgie because her good grades made her a prime candidate. She could have fallen in love with Paris (or whereever she went) and decided to finish her schooling there. After all, she originally stayed in Port Charles because of Dillon right?

Still don't want to bring her back at the end of college? Simple. Have her choose to live in Europe. It's not that much of a stretch considering Robin lived in Paris for years. If you don't want to bother stretching your creativity a little because you hate your job or are simply too lazy to do so, then quit and let someone who cares do your job. There are several people out there, myself included, who would care more about good storytelling than the bottom line. What I don't get is why the higher ups can't seem to understand that the former will lead to the latter. I can guarantee that this stunt is going to lose you more viewers that you gain.

As far as I can tell, Lindze is a talented actress who was never really given the chance to flex her acting muscles on this show. Saying there was a lack of story for the character is a load of crap because there was still so many ways to flesh out the character of Georgie Jones. She still had a lot of stories or life (depending on how you look at it) ahead of her.

Spinelli: She shouldn't be dead.

Damn straight. Now if you could convince the writers of this, that would be great.

So have I mentioned in the last five minutes how much I hate, loathe, detest, abhor and despise this damn show?

Just Saying

I'll keep this week's column short and sweet because I'm saving my energy for an upcoming rant. Believe me, you'll know it when you see it.

Alrighty then. I surprisingly enjoyed Luke's heart surgery storyline this week because of all the family interaction and of course the dream sequence, which I already discussed. I adored his scenes with Lucky and I was pleasantly surprised by his talk with Barbara Jean. These two really have a great brother/sister vibe and it's a shame the writers don't put it to good use more often. Despite these surprises, I think I was most shocked that I saw Tracy, Scotty, Leslie and Bobbie all in one place for an extended amount of time and it wasn't a holiday or a funeral. I mean can you believe that many vets were allowed to be dusted off and hauled out of storage at once? I would like to think that one of the higher ups have finally heard my pleas to use the veteran actors, but truthfully, I think they had to use them because everyone else is on Christmas vacation. The fact that the decision was likely not caused by a positive shift in the writing makes me nervous considering there's a killer on the loose.

Maxie's would be killer is still out there, but the spunky Jones girl lives to be blunt another day thanks to Georgie's perfect timing. The younger sister caught a glimpse of the psycho, but not enough to I.D. him. Throughout the week, Georgie grew more suspicious of Coop and enlisted Spinelli's expertise to help her prove it. While Spinelli was explaining his mission to Jason, the hitman finally clued the hacker slacker into the fact that Ms. Jones has a crush on him. It was actually quite adorable seeing that dim little lightbulb flicker on, but then I grew angry as I realized what was to come.....but I will try to hold onto that anger for the rant that is forthcoming.

While Georgie was becoming more certain that Coop is the culprit, Mac and Lucky were convinced that Johnny is the killer and he was brought in for questioning only to be released thanks to Diane (Jason sent her because he doesn't believe Johnny did it). What shocked me was Diane's monologue on Mac's past:

Mac: Your client is a suspect in a serial murder case. He has a serious rap sheet.
Diane: "Serious," commissioner? A hormonal teenager who drives too fast? Maybe got himself into a couple of fistfights? This is an overprivileged young man with a troubled family life.
Mac: He is a suspect in a serial murder case.
Diane: That your own daughters couldn't identify in a lineup. Now, had my client, for instance, worked as a -- oh, I don't know -- soldier of fortune, let's say -- if his record included assault on a police officer, attempted murder, dealing with loan sharks to pay off gambling debts, and a nasty explosives incident in a mine owned by the Jacks family in Australia -- oh, wait a minute. That's you, isn't it?

Did someone seriously remember that Mac has a history? Holy crap! I wonder if this means the scabs are writing now. Actually, wait. Cancel that. The PCPD employees are still being written as incompetent so it's definitely still the work of the usual writers.

Now time for the lightening round:

*Sam and Lucky decided to move in together, but the when and where are still being worked out and I'm still suspicious of Sam's motives.

*Sonny and Kate are still arguing over boundaries, but Kate gave in and slept with her ex, so it's safe to say her resolve is weakening (dang it, I really want a woman to stand up to Sonny!).

*Lulu's lying to Logan because she's secretly trying to meet Johnny.

*Johnny wanted to broker a truce for Sonny, which I'm all for (it'd be a nice change don't you think?), but Trevor's made that impossible by killing 3 of Sonny's men. As if that wasn't enough, when we left him Friday, he had managed to set up Johnny, Lulu and Sonny to be killed/injured.

*Cruz is alive (hooray!!!) But his brief appearance was just to make Coop look more guilty (boo!!).

*That new nurse's itchy elbow equalling bad things happening was so LAME!! Go put some lotion on your chapped skin and shut up! Bad things have happened in that hospital and throughout Port Charles long before you ever stumbled through those ER doors and bad happenings will continue whether or not you remember to put lotion on your itchy body parts. I'm not knocking all superstitions here, simply really lame ones. There are definitely better superstitions out there.

I'm just saying.

Bureacratic BS

What the bloody hell is this???

They fired Sabine Singh so the original Greenlee can come back? Are you kidding me??!! I am so upset because I have really enjoyed the chemistry between Singh and Aiden Turner. Like I've said before, I only started watching AMC because of this couple.

I tried to cool down after hearing the news, but the more digging I did to find out the whys and hows, the more pissed I became. For example have you seen this letter that's circling the Internet? (Scroll down to see the original posting by Superposter of the Year).

The post starts like this:

ITS TRUE.

hi. im new to the board but have been reading it for months now as ss is one of my oldest dearest friends from home. I also hope she does not get angry at me for writing today and speaking HER TRUTH. She is DEVASTATED but is doing everything she can to hide it and continue to honor and respect the show, the fans, and her friends at amc. She was given the news this week and basically, i kid you not, given less than a week to "quietly get out".

And it only gets worse from there.

It's hard to say if this is a legit letter or if a disgruntled fan posted it, but either way, I have a feeling it's pretty close to the truth. Just check out ABC Daytime's Website:

The "Real" Greenlee?

Wow.

If that isn't a huge slap in the face to Sabine, I don't know what is.

I don't know the behind-the-scenes nitty gritty because I wasn't there, but it looks to me like the AMC execs are looking for a quick fix to plummeting ratings and they think bringing back the original actress is going to fix that. By the way, it isn't. What you need is better writing, but that's a post for another day.

One of the things that bothers me is the timing. Isn't Sabine in the middle of a contract? It seems like they kicked her out as soon as the original actress decided to come back. From what I understand, Rebecca left to pursue other opportunities and has turned down the chance to return to AMC different times. My guess is those "other opportunities" didn't happen and she misses a steady paycheck, which is understandable, I just hate that it's at the expense of Sabine.

Now I don't know Rebecca, but I'm not sure I can root for her either. In a Q&A, here's what she had say about her recent roles:

Well, I just did a CSI. That was pretty cool--I played a stripper!

Um, yeah............

She was excited about playing a stripper.

Nope. I'm not feeling that.

So while I realize I'm probably in the minority here because generally speaking, viewers prefer the original actor on any soap, I still think this sucks and it's wrong. Minority or not, I think Sabine has developed quite a few fans so how about a compromise. How about bring her back as a different character? Kind of like GH is with Sarah Brown.

I just cited GH as an example of a good idea. That's how big of a mess AMC is right now.

Because I know I probaby won't get my way, I had resigned myself to the fact that I could at least enjoy the last month of scenes between Sabine and Aiden because you know their characters will be reunited by Christmas, but then I saw AMC's promo for the week.

Are you freaking kidding me?

Aidan and Kendall sleep together because of GRIEF??!!

You effin' (expletives)!!!

I have one month left to enjoy scenes with these actors and you're going to ruin it with this contrived crap?

Not only that, but now we find out that Greenlee isn't responsible for Spike's deafness. So what your saying is after months of having to play scenes where everybody hates her, Sabine has to leave, before she receives the reward of having scenes of acceptance??!!

@@#$%&*($@!!!!

God I hate this show!

Luke's Divine Comedy

Oh. My. God.

That was by far the most amusing version of hell I have EVER seen!

For those of you who missed it, Luke went under the knife this week and during that time we were treated to a dream where Skye was his guide through the Spencer version of hell.

Skye!!! So nice to see you. You've been missed.

On another note:

This "old fart" version of Luke is creepy.

So in the eldest Spencer's version of hell, he's trapped in Laura's house which now belongs to Lulu and her family: Apparently Lulu's been married to the Logan Hayes (Baldwin) for 10 years. In addition to the giant dog name Wizzer (the name's self-explanatory), the baby with the sensitive digestive tract and the bun in the oven, the Baldwins have two other lovely kidlets:They're absolute brats and at one point Luke calls the girl a little bitch. I don't normally approve of that word being tossed around by men, but I will make an exception in this case.

So Luke's duties for the evening? Babysitting while Lulu and her hubby go to "Lamaze class"AKA, date night.

I absolutely loved the look of sheer horror on Luke's face:

And where did they find this baby? He was so well behaved. Luke kept shaking him and he didn't make a sound.

Next up on the guest list, we have Leslie (squee!) who apparently was thrilledthat disco (which Luke abhors) made a comeback.

I have no words.

Alright, so Luke being Luke, tries to make a run for it, but seeing that he's in hell, the escape route was a little too hot to handle.

As if Leslie's outfit of choice wasn't disturbing enough, we were then treated to Lucky's facial transformation:

There is nothing funny about messing with Greg Vaughan's hotness. Even he cannot pull off the 'stache. Can someone please start a campaign to prevent this look from ever coming to fruition?

Now the next guest I NEVER saw coming. Apparently, in his old age, Luke has joined the PCPD (ha!) and hangs out with the commish. They meet for iced tea (not long island iced tea) weekly and go golfing in the middle of the night at a putt putt place wearing ridiculous clothing:

Poor Mac. Where on earth did they find those clothes? Oh well. At least he kept himself amused waving at the baby.

I had to toss this cap in purely because the expressions are priceless:
FYI, Luke's granddaughter did the honors after he took her cell away.

Now, what would any trip to hell be without a visit from Luke's nemesis Scotty?
And he didn't come alone. Meet his new wife:

Tracy: The jet is waiting.
Scott: Mm-hmm.
Tracy: I'll be in the car --
Scott: Hmm.
Tracy: Getting ready.
Scott: Ah! Oh, what a great girl she is. But I don't have to tell you that, do I? Do you have a message for Holly?
Luke: Holly?
Scott: Yes, yes. She's going to be at the opening of my casino, and then her and I are going to slip off to Nassau for a little fun.
Luke: You're cheating on Tracy? Finally, something that makes sense.
Scott: There's no cheating. Tracy -- she loves to share me. I got a great life, Spencer! Great! See you around.

Sharing?? Classic!!

Luke thought things were beginning to turn up when he ran across a Cuban cigar. Then Skye offered him a bowl of lighters......that didn't work.

Luke: Ah. There is a God. Ah. Hmm. Hey, you got a light? Where's the matches? Where's the matches? Where -- no, don't tell me I can't get a light in hell!

Okay then, I won't tell you.

His next gift was a bottle of booze.........that was stuck in the bottle.

Between the cigars and the booze, Luke finally decided he'd had enough and made a run for it and this time he woke up.
Yes, thankfully Luke survived the surgery and lives to terrorize Scotty another day. Considering how much I've been hating this show recently, I was surprised how much I enjoyed this little dream sequence. My guess is Tony Geary had a lot of say in these scenes. Here's an idea: Geary for head writer! Who's with me?

Thanks to Clarissa for the caps!

Just Saying - two week review

I’ve endured a lot over the years watching General Hospital, but through it all, I’ve remained a loyal viewer. Well, I think they might have done it. GH execs have found a way to make me stop watching: ugly green paint at the hospital. God, how I hate the color green and the hospital’s makeover is definitely a downgrade. What's the deal? I thought soaps were dealing with budget cuts so why would you waste what little money you have on ugly paint? I’m honestly not sure that I’ll be able to continue watching because every time I see the walls I want to throw up. On the other hand, we all know how little airtime the hospital actually gets and I think it’s safe to say my stomach might be able to handle it's rare appearance.


When we last left off, Emily was pronounced dead and she left a myriad of friends and family behind to pick up the pieces. Sonny went to Monica’s the day of the funeral to ask permission for Jason’s attendance, which she once again denied (didn’t really matter since he hid out in the vestibule anyway). Once again, I was shocked that the writers let Monica get away with all of her anti-Sonny rhetoric:

Monica: Emily is dead because of you, Sonny.
Sonny: If it's my fault, then it can't be Jason's, right?
Monica: Oh, yes, but mostly I blame you, because you were responsible for destroying Jason's life, so he, in turn, could destroy his sister.
Sonny: Monica, I know you hate me, but Jason is your son. He's walking around like he's in a cloud. I think he needs to go to that funeral, and I think maybe you need it, too.
Monica: I need the Jason that I had before you made him a criminal. I need the A.J. I had before you hounded him to death, and I need Alan, whose heart you broke before his heart should ever have failed. I need Michael, who you stole from me and my family. And I need Emily, who you seduced and you left unprotected so one of your rivals could have her murdered. I hope you rot in hell for what you have done to me and my family. You are an evil, selfish man, Sonny, and I really hope that one of your enemies tracks you down, before you destroy your family like you have destroyed mine! Now, get out.


After getting that many shots in, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Monica get “eliminated,” especially with a killer on the loose. I think what was even more shocking, was Sonny admitting to Kate that if he were in Monica’s shoes, he would have killed the person who did as much damage as he has done to her kids. Wonders never cease.


There are only two good things about soap funerals: montages and reappearances of old characters. Dillon looks like the next Ned in training as he (and of course Ned) returned to the canvas for the funeral. I appreciated the Dillon and Georgie scenes, but why are they making her look like the bad guy? Dillon accused her of shutting him out of her life, but in all fairness, he left her behind a long time ago. Georgie admitted that she had met someone (didn’t confess it was Spinelli though) and Dillon said he was happy for her.





While we’re on the subject of her object of affection, why must he continue being oblivious? After the funeral, Georgie brought Spinelli some chicken soup only to be outdone by this random new nurse. During the funeral, instead of sitting next to Mac, she sat behind him. I know seating arrangements can be odd at these funerals because of camera angles and whatnot, but this was ridiculous. I want to know what this actress has done to make the writers treat her character so poorly. Is it the nose piercing? I totally approve of her new jewelry, by the way. It’s very Robinesque. Unfortunately, it looks like her similarities to her cousin will lead to similar tragedic storylines.



There were definitely a few things off with Emily’s funeral. For starters, what was with everyone's sunglasses?
Tracy dear, you're inside. Lose the shades.

And Lulu’s hair?

I so do not approve.

Prior to the funeral, Carly tried to convince Jason to sneak into the service and she said something to the effect that she respected Emily. Um, since when? The other weird thing was not having Ned or any of the Quartermaines speak at the service. Elizabeth got the honors and as eulogies go, it was a rather nice one.


On a bittersweet note, the shot of the Quartermaines gathered together outside the church after the funeral was really nice.

Family is the reason many of us tune in and seeing this ragtag group pull together during times of crisis really does my heart some good. I should probably save this picture though, because God only knows when I’ll see that scene again. Something else I enjoyed was Tracy’s honest take on the situation:


Luke: How was the funeral?
Tracy: It was hideous. My father and Monica sat there like cardboard cutouts. Elizabeth droned on and on about Emily's virtues and you could tell all she wanted to do was find the nearest bathroom and heave, and Nikolas wandered around like a zombie. Don't you dare be the reason I have to endure another day like today. Don't -- you – dare.


I was pleased to see the Musketeers unite, if only for a little while, to get through the service, but afterward they went their separate ways: Elizabeth sought comfort in Jason’s arms and Sam found Lucky at Kelly’s. I’m not sure I’m okay with that last one because Kelly’s was a place for Lucky, Elizabeth, Emily and Nikolas; however, they left quick enough so I'm willing to let it slide.


Speaking of the devastated prince, it’s been really sad watching him wander around his mansion in a fog. At one point, he completely flipped out over Alfred removing all of his fiancé’s clothes from the closet. After the funeral, he went back to his fiancé's room and found her……No I don’t mean a picture of Emily, I mean Emily.
Now that was a "what the hell?" moment if ever I saw one.


Apparently, the writers have gone the way of Alan’s ghost and decided to make Emily aparition as well. At least I think she’s a ghost. She could be a hallucination I suppose given Nikolas’ condition. I’m not exactly clear on the rules and I guess neither are they. So far we know that they can touch, she can follow Nikolas out of the house and unlike Alan, she can change clothes. The writers get creative points for allowing these two to touch because I think it adds that fairy tale element this couple is known for. It was absolutely heartbreaking watching Emily realize she was dead, but once she accepted it, she adamantly told Nikolas he was not her killer, despite the fact that neither one remembers what happened that night. Only in soapland would the phrase “I’m certain you didn’t kill me” be acceptable. Something else that is just absolutely heart wrenching is Nikolas’ fear that she’ll leave once he closes his eyes or that if he gets help for his medical condition she’ll be gone.



Nikolas: You know I can't tell anybody about this, this has to be a secret. If people find out, they'll -- they'll lock me up and you'll disappear from me.
Emily: Not if you want me there.
Nikolas: I wouldn't want you there, not like that.
Emily: What if we're not crazy? With everything that we don't understand about this world, what if it were real?



This is sort of turning out to be a touching story, you know, the fact that death can’t separate a love so strong, but on the other hand, I’m getting a little distracted by Natalia’s constant grinning. Her character's dead. Why is that so funny? I guess death made Alan more of a smartass and Emily more giddy. Whatever. Truthfully, I don’t like either of the ghostly states of these characters because I still wish the writers could find a way to resolve storylines without killing everybody. Sigh.


“If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.”


I thought perhaps one of the best reactions to Emily’s death was Lucky’s. Luke unknowingly dropped the bomb on his son and Greg Vaughan did a good job showing his character go through a range of emotions. I think the has taken advantage of recent scenes and using them to really shine and I hope he continues to do so in the future.



So it looks like Luke’s heart took quite a beating at the Black and White Ball. Monica informed him that the damage is so bad that he needs a quadruple bypass. I know, I too was shocked to see that someone remembered Monica was a cardiologist. Of course, Luke rebelled against the idea and tried to sneak out of the hospital several times and the view of him in his skivvies definitely made me giggle . At one point, he made it all the way to lookout bridge where he celebrated his freedom with a bottle of booze and another heart attack. Lulu and Johnny happened to be there and rushed him back to GH. Now the young cardiologist is telling Luke he needs surgery.
Doesn't the rock t-shirt beneath the lab coat tell you that he mean's business? If this ensemble doesn’t scream professional, I don’t know what does.



After much pleading, Luke eventually gave in. Luke is the one character whose life I've never been concerned for, but given the current state of the show, I'm not so sure. Here's hoping Luke Spencer survives to be a loveable scoundrel another day.




Over in Sonnyland, Kate spent the last two weeks trying to teach him about boundaries. What’s amusing is Sonny’s confusion over the meaning of the word “no.” Actually, Max and Milo are the ones keeping me entertained in this storyline. The whole mess started with Kate’s discovery that Sonny installed a security system in her house without her permission. She became privy to the info thanks to Max’s loose lips and it was quite funny watching him accidentally spill his guts. Afterward, Kate decided to breakup with the king pin until he learned to respect her boundaries. Honey, have you met Sonny? You may be waiting a long time.


Next up, Kate knocked an intruder unconscious and instead of being one of her ex’s hired muscle, it was her new interior decorator. Number 1, why was he sneaking into her house at that time of night? Number 2, they used the same colors as they did on the new hospital set (barf) and I'm wondering why they had to spread it around instead of just sparing the hospital? Once I got over that I realized this was the first time we've seen the inside of her house (I think) then I started wondering, how is it that all of these people who moved out of their ex’s homes/just moved into town (i.e. Sam, Elizabeth, Ric, Kate) all received a set for their house instantly while I still have no idea where poor Robin is living? Since I know I’ll never get that question answered, I’ll just move along. This late-night little encounter led to another hilarious Max/Milo moment that I so enjoyed. The bodyguard brothers were sent outside while Mr. C and Ms. Howard talked and had a little discussion of their own:


Milo: What do you think we should do?
Max: "Think"? Milo, we don't get paid to think. We're told what to do and we were told to wait here.
Milo: Yeah, but I mean, we could be here all night.
Max: Yeah, we could.
Milo: All the cold, cold night.
Max: We're going to be here as long as it takes.
Milo: What do you suppose they're doing in there?
Max: The boss is seducing Ms. Howard, come on.
Milo: Great. Then we really could be here all night.
Max: Didn't we just have this conversation?
Milo: It's not going to happen. She is a tough cookie, Kate. Yeah. No way he seduces her.
[Max chuckles]
Max: Then you don't know Mr. C.
Milo: And you don't know women.
Max: What?
Milo: Yeah. 50 bucks says we're home by 10.
Max: It's on.


I'm happy to say Milo won the bet.



Kate decided to step things up a notch by hiring Alexis to file a complaint against Sonny: his wall is infringing on her yard by three inches. Now this pit Alexis against Diane once again and while Alexis tried to point out this wasn’t about them, Diane was adamant that it was. I wish Alexis could get a real storyline, but again, I know this is all I’m going to get for now so at least Diane’s indignation over Kate’s gift to Alexis:



(Neela Lorente originals) was amusing.

In other mob news, Jason took some time off from “eliminating people” to secretly attend his sister’s wedding before heading hooking up with her best friend. I’m not really a fan of this pairing, but I do recognize that it was big deal for you guys seeing as how they haven’t been together since the original ONS. So hooray for you and you may have a moment to celebrate……

…..and scene.


During afterglow, Jason and Liz discussed the future and how they have no idea what to do. Jason wants this family life, but he’s made some choices (i.e. joining the mob) that prevent that. The solution is really simple: Jason needs a new identity which is also easy as pie to do - just shave your head. I’m sure no one would recognize you sans that incredibly distracting mop atop your head. In a rare occurrence, said hitman melted just a thin layer of ice from around my cold, cold heart with this scene:

It was eventually decided that Lucky would continue pretending to be Jake’s father and on one hand, I’m glad because I would really hate to see Lucky lose those boys because he really does love them, but on the other, he can’t really expound to anyone about how it sucks that Jake isn’t his, except to Sam, who I’m not sure if she is still working Lucky or not.

Speaking of babies, it seems like Carly wants to have another one, but she doesn’t want to tell Jax she’s trying to get pregnant. Great idea Carly. Because keeping things from your husband has worked so well for you in the past. I’m not sure another baby is such a good idea because she has enough to worry about with the two she’s got. She and Sonny finally broke the news to Michael and Morgan that Emily was killed, which, by the way, aren’t the “we have something sad to tell you”/“(insert name of loved one here) has died” conversations becoming awfully frequent? Speaking of the deceased, have Carly and Jax hired a new nanny yet? What? You didn’t think Carly was actually going to take care of her own kids did you?


Anywho, Michael was understandably upset, but he once again wanted to know why Sonny didn’t kill the murderer because “that’s how it works.”


Uh….
…………
……...........
????


Oh yes, Port Charles in the hands of the next generation is not in trouble at all.


Across town, the baby crazies struck again. In an incredibly over the top plot point, a bride who was struck by a car was brought into GH and her worried wedding party followed her. All of this was to show Patrick how precious life is (because being a surgeon who holds life and death in his hands everyday wasn’t enough) and that he still loved Robin (which has been clarified numerous time during the past several months). From there the two kiss and make up on Friday, but Monday’s scenes were a little schizophrenic (because this show is known for continuity) and Robin seemed reluctant and Patty boy proposes a compromise……..over having children…..


?????


Truthfully, I was waiting for King Solomon to pull out the saw.


So Mr. Genius’ idea did not involve a saw, but his "compromise" was to get back together with Robin and table the discussion of babies for a year. Thankfully, Robin did not cave and we were once again back to where we started. The women of the hospital had a lousy week and ended up relaxing a Jake’s. Now, I thought the memories of Emily at their first girls’ night out was a nice, but it was mucked up by Nadine’s presence. Why was she there? The idea that she was supposed to be filling Emily’s recently vacated barstool was rather insulting to me.


Oh, but it gets so much worse…


Patrick and Leo decide they can’t think so they want to sign out and head for the bar as well(wow, this hospital is run so professionally) and of course our favorite female medical personnel are already at Jake’s and quite intoxicated.



Gee. I wonder what’s going to happen next.



Before we examine this debacle, I would like to comment that a Patrick/Leo friendship could totally work. It’s about time Patrick had a friend to give voice to his thoughts. Someone who had no trouble voicing her drunken opinion was Elizabeth. She laid into Patrick and basically called him a coward for not wanting to be a father when there are other men (i.e. Jason) who want to be fathers, but can’t.
So. Much. Wrong.


Ok, so first, was the Jason propping necessary? I mean really. We get that he’s sad about giving his son up blah, blah, blah, blah. We get it already! Second, Elizabeth was way too harsh which only made matters worse because she was the only kinda sorta friend Patrick had at the hospital. Finally, what purpose did this serve? Patrick and Robin are still at an impasse and now they’re just fighting again.


I think I need an aspirin.


I have no doubt this trainwreck would have continued if Alexis hadn’t called Patrick to help clean up Jerry’s mess. While we’re on the subject, why is she his lawyer and can we please quit pairing Alexis with unstable men? Can’t we give her someone normal like Ned? No? Fine. At least I can count on Nancy Lee Grahn to keep me entertained with her Alexis banter:


Alexis: That's quite a hero complex you're lugging around there.
Jerry: And matched only by your persecution complex, which makes us perfect dinner companions. You see? You see? You like me. Why are you trying to be so contrary?
Alexis: Oh, I'm not trying. I am contrary when it comes to you, because I -- I told you, and I -- I will tell you again, so you need to retain the fact. I don't play with fire -- been there, done that. Go burn someone else.
Jerry: Uh-huh. Too bad.
Alexis: Not really.


Sigh. Mildly amused or not, I’m quickly growing tired of all the dysfunction.


In teen land, Johnny watched his paralyzed father get committed and younger Zacchara assumed the throne as it were. In an odd "huh?" moment, don’t these two kind of look alike?


Just some food for thought.

So instead of Johnny backing out of the mess he’s about to inherit, he thinks he’s stuck and he’s just going to have to deal with it. Oh goody. More mob madness.


I was pleasantly surprised to see Maxie and Georgie this week because I so adore their sisterly interactions because they are so convincing and because I crave the normalcy. Unfortunately, I quickly became angry as I realized they were getting involved in this serial killer nonsense. Georgie received an anonymous text about her sister and instead of being concerned that some stranger had her number, she brushed it off. Meanwhile, Maxie headed to the PCPD to give her statement about the Black and White Ball. During that time, Coop started acting shifty and the writers basically threw all suspicion in his direction in a not so subtle way. By the end of the week, the killer had a phone cord wrapped around Maxie’s neck.
Greeaattt.

Just what we need, another murder. I think Maxie will be alright, but it’s Georgie I’m worried about. We hardly ever see her and the only time the GH execs seem to bring out long missed characters is when they're ready to kill them. I’m also more concerned because Georgie is one of the only characters with any morals and she’s currently unattached to any male counterpart. That spells disaster in Port Charles.

I’m off to say some novenas for Georgie, but with the way things have been going lately, this is not going to end how I want it to. I’m just saying.


Thanks to Clarissa for the caps.