Luke's Divine Comedy

Oh. My. God.

That was by far the most amusing version of hell I have EVER seen!

For those of you who missed it, Luke went under the knife this week and during that time we were treated to a dream where Skye was his guide through the Spencer version of hell.

Skye!!! So nice to see you. You've been missed.

On another note:

This "old fart" version of Luke is creepy.

So in the eldest Spencer's version of hell, he's trapped in Laura's house which now belongs to Lulu and her family: Apparently Lulu's been married to the Logan Hayes (Baldwin) for 10 years. In addition to the giant dog name Wizzer (the name's self-explanatory), the baby with the sensitive digestive tract and the bun in the oven, the Baldwins have two other lovely kidlets:They're absolute brats and at one point Luke calls the girl a little bitch. I don't normally approve of that word being tossed around by men, but I will make an exception in this case.

So Luke's duties for the evening? Babysitting while Lulu and her hubby go to "Lamaze class"AKA, date night.

I absolutely loved the look of sheer horror on Luke's face:

And where did they find this baby? He was so well behaved. Luke kept shaking him and he didn't make a sound.

Next up on the guest list, we have Leslie (squee!) who apparently was thrilledthat disco (which Luke abhors) made a comeback.

I have no words.

Alright, so Luke being Luke, tries to make a run for it, but seeing that he's in hell, the escape route was a little too hot to handle.

As if Leslie's outfit of choice wasn't disturbing enough, we were then treated to Lucky's facial transformation:

There is nothing funny about messing with Greg Vaughan's hotness. Even he cannot pull off the 'stache. Can someone please start a campaign to prevent this look from ever coming to fruition?

Now the next guest I NEVER saw coming. Apparently, in his old age, Luke has joined the PCPD (ha!) and hangs out with the commish. They meet for iced tea (not long island iced tea) weekly and go golfing in the middle of the night at a putt putt place wearing ridiculous clothing:

Poor Mac. Where on earth did they find those clothes? Oh well. At least he kept himself amused waving at the baby.

I had to toss this cap in purely because the expressions are priceless:
FYI, Luke's granddaughter did the honors after he took her cell away.

Now, what would any trip to hell be without a visit from Luke's nemesis Scotty?
And he didn't come alone. Meet his new wife:

Tracy: The jet is waiting.
Scott: Mm-hmm.
Tracy: I'll be in the car --
Scott: Hmm.
Tracy: Getting ready.
Scott: Ah! Oh, what a great girl she is. But I don't have to tell you that, do I? Do you have a message for Holly?
Luke: Holly?
Scott: Yes, yes. She's going to be at the opening of my casino, and then her and I are going to slip off to Nassau for a little fun.
Luke: You're cheating on Tracy? Finally, something that makes sense.
Scott: There's no cheating. Tracy -- she loves to share me. I got a great life, Spencer! Great! See you around.

Sharing?? Classic!!

Luke thought things were beginning to turn up when he ran across a Cuban cigar. Then Skye offered him a bowl of lighters......that didn't work.

Luke: Ah. There is a God. Ah. Hmm. Hey, you got a light? Where's the matches? Where's the matches? Where -- no, don't tell me I can't get a light in hell!

Okay then, I won't tell you.

His next gift was a bottle of booze.........that was stuck in the bottle.

Between the cigars and the booze, Luke finally decided he'd had enough and made a run for it and this time he woke up.
Yes, thankfully Luke survived the surgery and lives to terrorize Scotty another day. Considering how much I've been hating this show recently, I was surprised how much I enjoyed this little dream sequence. My guess is Tony Geary had a lot of say in these scenes. Here's an idea: Geary for head writer! Who's with me?

Thanks to Clarissa for the caps!