Just Saying

It's time for sweeps again and this November, the big storyline is so innovative!!!!

...... that is, if by innovative you mean a complete ripoff of old storylines that really aren't all that old to begin with. Let's review shall we?

1. Giant ball at Wydemere (old Bacchanalia at Wyndemere circa 1998)

2. Massive storm renders people captive (hurricane that forces people to stay put at Alcazar's party circa July 2005)
3. Telling the story one hour at a time format (ripoff of February '07 sweeps which was a ripoff of Fox's 24)

Way to dig deep guys. Way to dig deep.

Le sigh. What's done is done so I suppose I should be happy for the few good scenes this show gives me and be thankful for all the duds that provide me with so much to criticize.

The whole angry Nikolas thing is interesting, but I think he would have seemed more scary if the only people he attacked weren't tiny women. Let's see, he held a letter opener to Carly's throat, held Sam over a ledge and shoved Robin and none of those actions are frightening because these women are not that big (sidenote: what's with all the violence against women anyway?). He beat up Patrick this week, but my complaint is why couldn't I see him stab Jerry? I didn't even get a flashback and I kind of think knifing Jerry was the least Nik deserved to do as far as payback goes. Why is it that certain people :::cough:::Sonny:::cough:::Jason:::cough::: can be seen beating up people day in and day out, but when it's there turn to get roughed up, it's done entirely off screen? It's not fair I tell you, not fair!

Something I do like about whatever this illness is, apparently telling the truth is a side effect. First Nik told Liz how it is:

Elizabeth: You know I couldn't be happier that you and Emily have found your way back to each other. But if either of you are hoping that attending this ball will do the same for me and Lucky, please don't, because it's not going to happen.
Nikolas: No, Elizabeth, you’re far too selfish to go back to Lucky.
Elizabeth: Lucky and I agreed that having a divorce is the best thing for our family. We don’t want Cameron and Jake --
Nikolas: Right, right, but you slept with another man and lied nearly a year, and now he's the one walking away from the marriage with nothing!

Then he dished some out to Emily, but it was really meant to have been said to half of Port Charles:

Nikolas: Wait, who the hell are you to trash my brother?
[Waltz music plays]
Nikolas: You and Lucky have been friends longer than anyone, but there's always that special someone who seems to be just a little bit more important.
Lucky: Nikolas, you don't have to --
Nikolas: I'm so sick of you sticking up for the almighty Jason, and for reasons that completely escape me, you want Elizabeth to be with him no matter who it hurts in the end.
Elizabeth: Nikolas, stop it!
Nikolas: Forget that his marriage is over, and that his sons might be exposed --
Elizabeth: Don't yell at her!
Nikolas: What?

Ah. I love the truth.

Overall the whole ball thing has kind have been just meh for me. It's probably because I'm bitter over the fact that there are no Q's at the party. You know, the party where Nikolas was announcing an endowment in Alan QUARTERMAINE's name. Seriously GH? WTH? In fact, there are like zero vets which is disappointing because I used to be able to count on getting my annual dose of vetty goodness during sweeps. I swear these execs are like vet Nazis.

No vets for you!

Seriously, when was the last time we saw Bobbie? I looked around the ballroom at one point and it was like newbie stew. I found myself asking who are these people? I laughed my butt off when Logan was talking to Nadine (random newbie) about being new in town:

Logan: Listen, if you didn't know this guy, why would you go out of your way to help him?
Nadine: Because he asked, because he was cute, because it's a masquerade ball, and it sounded like fun. Or how about because I felt like it, and it didn't seem like the end of the world? And if none of tho answers satisfy you, then maybe you're the problem and not this guy, whoever he is.
Logan: Whoa, whoa, hold on. You're a little new around here to be throwing around the attitude and judgment. There are things going on you don't even know about.

I love how he throws attitude around like he's lived here his entire life. He's only been in town about 7 months. Geez! This is probably why I'm all apathetic about this ball, there's a bunch of new people that I could care less about it. I guess the bright side to all of this is if there's no vets at Wyndemere, then there's no way they'll be murdered. On the other hand, being killed wouldn't be different from the screentime they're getting now. Sadly, I'd almost wish for a murder because at least then they'd get some time on air.

Another issue I have with this ball is why the heck is Trevor there? I get why the writers want him there, but couldn't they offer me a reason why? I think they covered everyone else's reasons for being there including Jerry.

(sidenote: Alexis taking him out of spite, funny stuff. Oh and his little comment:

Jerry: Ah. The wind is shifting. This night could get a little messy.

Understatement of the century)

Finally, for all that is good and holy, could you please stop with the CGI effects? It's embarrassing. If you don't have the money to do it right, then don't do it at all. I was seriously embarrassed for Steve Burton. I'm surprised he didn't walk off the set.

There were a few bright spots at the ball so far. I am a sucker for nods to history so I loved Nikolas dancing with Robin (although we should have seen it) and Lucky dancing with Elizabeth in the courtyard. Speaking of Liz, I loved her catfight with Sam, not because catfights are soapy goodness, but because I think Sam threw a punch instead of a traditional slap. See? Women know how to throw a hook too.

I also loved the adorable Robin/Maxie/Georgie bonding moment (Karen Harris, you're my hero!!). I love that someone remembered that just because you don't have several children and various babydaddies, doesn't mean that you don't have family.

Maxie sticking up for Robin to Leyla absolutely rocked!! I don't care that it was probably all just a ploy to set Nikolas off because I so enjoyed watching someone stick up for Dr. Scorpio for once.

Maxie: You could really use some lessons in subtlety, Nurse Mir.
Leyla: Excuse me?
Maxie: Oh, come on. That whole cute, coy act you had going on just so you could break up Patrick and Robin?
Leyla: Actually, Patrick was unattached when he asked me out. And this is your business because?
Maxie: Robin is my cousin, and you're a liar and a skank. Excuse me, I'm not done with you.

(Maxie reaches for Leyla and ends up yanking off her "pearl" necklace)
Leyla: Look what you did!
Maxie: Whoops. That was for Robin.

Bitch is so in.

Of course this is GH so someone's going to die and the first person to get maimed was Ric. This might sound twisted, but how badass is it that he got speared into the wall? Dude didn't even yell out in pain. I absolutely adore Ric and Alexis together so I'm crossing my fingers for some good Rexis scenes.

At the end of the first week, the body count is as follows:

2 dead handlers

1 dead servant

1 maimed D.A.

Does it bother anyone else how easily this soap kills people? Note to actors seeking work: If you're worried about job security, General Hospital is not the the show for you.

I'm just saying.