Just Saying - two weeks edition

General Hospital fans watched a literal cliffhanger when Diego’s car was left hanging over the edge of a bridge. After Jason pulled Elizabeth from the wreckage, he fell backward, knocking himself unconscious and severely damaging his hands. I’m still not sure how he accomplished that last one but whatevs.

Meanwhile, Sam was left to plummet to her death……

......or was she?

The Everyday Hero managed to grab hold of the railing (even though it was a totally impossible feat) and hang on until Lucky came to her aid. That’s right, a wounded Lucky Spencer managed to crawl over to the edge and pull his ex to safety……

…with one arm……

..….all while looking gorgeous.

Who’s the hero now beeyotch?

P.S. - Michael Conforti, I totally heart you for letting Lucky be the hero for once. God knows now that the strike’s over, it’ll be another decade before I see that again.

While the quartet awaited help on the bridge, Diego escaped, but Maxie and Spinelli were hot on his trail, that is, until they hit a minor snag. Maxie managed to get herself stuck in a sewer grate, which while amusing, was totally unbelievable. Why you ask. Simple. Kirsten Storms is tiny and there’s no way she was unable to shimmy through those bars.

Kirsten, I say this with love: Please eat a muffin. Or two.

Being as thin as that fake metal pole is not in, I don’t care what the crazy fashionistas are saying.

When the young sleuths escaped, they tracked Diego to a warehouse on the wharf. Spinelli had an unfortunate encounter with chloroform, so Maxie led the way and ran straight into Diego. She managed to escape from the psycho who resumed his earlier scuffle with Nikolas. Alcazar’s son slipped and accidentally hung himself, which I thought was a just ending.

Nikolas and Maxie lost a lot from this whole mess so it was fitting that they were there in the end and I’m glad neither were responsible for killing the text message killer.

Back at the hospital, Jason received news that had mobsters everywhere rejoicing: he could lose the use of his deadly hands. Elizabeth kept close watch on him, which of course Carly didn’t like. A cat fight ensued and Epiphany broke it up. Now I have a love/hate relationship with this women, but in moments like these, she becomes my best friend:

Epiphany: I need you on 10.
Carly: We're not done yet.
Epiphany: I said I needed Nurse Webber. You will get out of her way and let her do her job.
Carly: You don't need to be pushy.
Epiphany: I said I needed Nurse Webber on the 10th floor. You will get out of her way or, heart attack or not, I will turn you upside down and mop this floor with your hair.

Anyone who stands up to Carly is alright in my book.

Sam also landed herself back in the hospital and Lucky serendipitously found some new leads on her hit-and-run. He watched Monica and Tracy’s very public blow up in the middle of the hospital and now knows she was driving the night of the accident. He also overheard Jason and Liz discussing the possibility that she hit Sam. Poor Lucky confronted them and now he’s trying to keep it covered up. Sam overhead Lucky and Elizabeth’s discussion which was the cherry on the top of her day. Not only could she not be released from the hospital, but her cousin collapsed from a brain tumor and she lost her job at Everyday Heroes. Oh and let’s not forget she’s also under the suspiciously watchful eye of Dr. Devlin, who by the way, is in cahoots with Jerry Jax.

I knew that guy was creepy!

This sucks though because one of Patrick’s friends is now tied to the mob and Dr. Drake’s lack of mob connections was one of his best characteristics. That’s clearly going out the window now because he was even defending Jason against Cruz (he‘s still alive??!!).

Kind of makes you miss Pete Martinez doesn’t it?

Adolescent, bachelor behavior I could deal with. Psycho who lives for illicit dealings, not so much.
I still don’t have Devlin completely figured out, but I don’t have to. He’s clearly bad news. He’s paying way too much attention to the Cassadines and maybe we’ll see why later. I would love to get Monica off the hook so my theory is Devlin hit Sam and feels guilty about it now. I’m not sure about his connection to Nikolas though.

The Dark Prince didn’t take Devlin’s secret drug and refused surgery so he eventually collapsed. He was rushed to surgery where he flatlined and tried to follow Emily to the other side. They met in their engagement party attire (they’re getting a lot of mileage out of that dress). Emily attempted to convince Nikolas that he needed to fight for his son, who apparently has been a victim of SORAS.

However, I’m not completely positive because I can't remember the last time we saw Spencer on screen, so maybe it really has been that long.

Emily said goodbye to her prince, but you know, after the gazillionth time, it’s starting to lose it’s affect. Would it be too much to get some kind of disclaimer telling me if this is the last, last time they’ll see each other or the last, last, last time?

After waking up, Nikolas threw a hissy fit in the OR and the surgery was canned. Mr. Cassadine manages to get enough strength to walk around the hospital and meet Devlin in a dark basement where he scores some illegal pills that will “prolong” his condition.

::Sigh::

If we do another pain pill addiction storyline with Lucky’s brother, I will probably scream. Secondly, has it occurred to anyone that maybe, just maybe the unknown drug Jerry injected into Nikolas at this same time last year, was the cause of this tumor and perhaps tossing more unknown drugs into his system may not be the best idea?

No?

Well, I’m just throwing it out there for you.

A casualty in Nikolas’ outrage was Robin. She was kicked in the stomach which sent Patrick into panic mode. It’s been interesting watching him cope with the idea of fatherhood during this last week. A highlight for me was his chat with Elizabeth.

That relationship has always been one-sided because Elizabeth was always dumping her problems on Patrick so this pep talk was a long time coming. By the end of the week, Patrick and Robin admitted to still loving each other, but as far as Robin was concerned, nothing had changed. That’s progress I guess.

Another child in danger was Michael who was still hiding out at Peg’s and his parents were still concerned about his whereabouts. Maxie and Spinelli tried to help Jason find Michael and I was just as impressed with Ms. Jones’ detective skills as the slacker hacker was. I think it would actually be kind of cool if Maxie went into this P.I. thing. It’d be a nice little tribute to her parents, don’t you think?

I want to compliment the two GH writers for balancing out the scenes between this couple. You get the incredibly sweet moments like the two of them visiting Georgie’s grave on her birthday mixed in with the silliness of Spinelli losing his clothes. Who knew that’s what was under those baggy clothes? Color me impressed.

When Michael still didn’t turn up, Sonny continued pressuring the Zaccharas to return his son and he actually took his frustrations out on Jason. Sorry, but for someone who’s supposed to think so highly of Jason, Sonny treated him like crap by accusing him of getting injured on purpose. I try to not completely despise any character, but good Lord it’s hard to like that guy when he’s constantly acting like a spoiled child who didn’t get what they wanted. Dude needs to learn to be appreciative. For example, be thankful that Kate forgave you for sleeping with Claudia.

Speaking of the newest mobster in town, Claudia attempted to make deals right and left this week to try and get her brother back. This included going to Ric and bargaining for his waterfront properties. Ric rejected her offer because he’s trying to turn over a new leaf, etc. etc., and I really hope it sticks. I’m sure now that the strike’s over, he’s going to return to being the villain, but I applaud the interim staff for attempting to clean up the mess that is Ric and Alexis’ relationship. Ric handed his position as DA back over to Alexis and she was surprised to say the least. I choose to ignore the unrealistic nature of passing a job back and forth like a baton because I want these two to make up. I’ll take anything that can be counted as baby steps towards reconciling a situation that was really screwed up.

Like I said, I’m sure this optimistic outlook will be short lived because Ric found Mariana down on the docks with a dead Randy. Meanwhile, at the same time in the same place, we had Michael confessing to Carly, Claudia exchanging shipping lanes with Sonny in return for Johnny and Trevor putting a hit on Claudia. Of course all these people were in the same location of course, the execs had an excuse to blow something up again.

This time the bomb wasn’t exactly the work of another mobster. Spinelli accidentally activated the explosive devices Diego planted and we’ll have to wait for Monday to see who survives the wreckage.

I realized this post was slightly more positive than usual, but no worries. With the writers’ strike over I’m sure I’ll be back to my overly critical self in no time. With the old team at the helm, the show will likely return to the shipwreck we all know and love to hate.

I’m just saying.

Screen caps courtesy of Clarissa.

Just Saying - February Sweeps

So apparently when I said it would be a couple days, I clearly meant a couple of weeks. You know how it is when your evil twin who slept with your best friend’s father and was brutally murdered by the mayor’s crazy grandmother returns from the dead ……you have a lot of catching up to do.

I too have a lot to catching up to do as far as General Hospital is concerned so let’s get to it.

First of all, I was having a hard time remembering this was a sweeps month considering there was no giant catastrophe involving the entire cast as there have been during recent Februaries (MetroCourt hostage crisis, epidemic, Port Charles Hotel fire, etc). However, it was like all other sweep months in one respect - it kicked off with another flippin' pointless death.

Coop was found dead from an apparent suicide by hanging. Everyone, but Maxie, was convinced that he was guilty of being the text message killer and the drive to clear her boyfriend’s name led to an unlikely partnership between her and Spinelli. I’ve really been enjoying their scenes, probably because they are two young talented actors and because Kirsten Storms is a chemistry machine. I’ve really liked all of her pairings, from Matt Marraccini, to Jason Cook all the way back to her Disney channel days with Gregory Smith.

Yeah, I took it there.

Something that irks me, however, is the-powers-that-be are hitting some nerves with their storytelling. For example, Maxie’s already kissed Spinelli and poor Georgie spent months with him and got nowhere near first base. Granted, this kiss was a diversion, but I’m still angry that the writers gave Georgie yet another unrequited love when I’m convinced they already knew she was on her way out. Secondly, while the black and white flashbacks are cute, they’re awfully reminiscent of Dillon’s movie daydreams with Georgie.I adored those two and trying to redo that magic with this new soon-to-be couple (I'm assuming), doesn’t sit well with me. I think it’s still a little soon.

Anywhos, the spunky Jones girl was correct and unfortunately for Sam, the text message killer was still on the loose, clearly one more way karma was waiting to bite her in the butt. It all started when Liz told Lucky all of the nasty things the ex(?) con woman pulled in the name of revenge against Jason and Liz. This led to Lucky terminating his newfound relationship and while I was glad to see the Spencer boy stand up for himself, I hated to see him play the fool again.

I guess it had to be done to set up a story that I, for one, did not foresee.

Sam once again received threatening texts and when she called Lucky for help, he accused her of lying. Apparently for adults, the story of “Peter and the Wolf” features a serial killer instead of a furry animal. The TMK attacked Sam and their scuffle lands them on the outskirts of town during a rainstorm because you know, execs will find any reason to get Kelly Monaco soaking wet.

I know Sam’s supposed to be crafty and whatnot, but after her numerous assaults, don’t you think she would have learned to wear more sensible shoes? The "everyday hero" escaped the killer only to be hit by a car (talk about bad luck) and the driver could be Monica, Liz or Carly. I honestly never saw this coming and I was so excited to be surprised by something; however, I just wished the TMK storyline had been resolved before we kicked off the who-hit-Sam mystery.

While Sam was in the hospital recovering, Spinelli and Maxie decided Logan was the real killer and Lulu found a lot of incriminating evidence to support their theory. Logan tried to explain, but when Johnny showed up, he freaked and grabbed Lulu who ended up knocking him in the head with a wrench. Now soldier boy is in a coma and oh, and by the way, not the killer. I actually like the coma angle because it’s very soapy and nearly killing someone ties her back to her mother.

TMK is still on the loose and while the police start looking for him, he’s busy waiting for Sam at her apartment. Ladies and gentleman, the surprise of the month - the text message killer is Diego Alcazar!!!??!!!
I. Was. Floored.

There were no words for that little twist. Actually, there were words. I think it was something like “What the hell?” ...... repeated many times.

I actually liked this move for a couple of reasons. One, it’s totally soapy. Two, GH has been really bad about killing people with no signs of bringing them back. This gives me hope that they have not forgotten this little trick and in the future, some of these ridiculous deaths will be undone. For example, Lorenzo. I’ve always thought his return was possible because the audience never saw the death. Now that they revived Diego, a death we clearly saw, I know it’s totally doable. Third, I feel justified that Diego didn’t die because I always thought it was lame that he went out with one shot.

It was interesting the way he explained his motives and stuff, but Georgie’s death didn’t sit well with me. Diego said Georgie took Maxie’s place and he “almost” felt bad about her demise. Okay, that makes no sense.

Yes, I do know what soap I’m watching, but I expected a better explanation.

Diego couldn’t have mistaken Georgie for her sister because she was out in the open and clearly doesn’t look like Maxie. Secondly, Georgie stood up for Diego a lot and he decided to repay her by killing her? Um, no.

Diego’s scheme escalated when he took Sam and Elizabeth (wrong place, wrong time) on a ride that resulted in the car crashing and hanging over a bridge. Lucky showed up and before he can help, Diego shot him.

For the love of God, can Lucky ever NOT get shot and maybe be the hero for once?

Of course not, because here comes Jason to save the day.

P.S. - lame CGI. Go back to the-horrible-spinoff-that-shall-not-be-named and stay there.

Speaking of TMK victims, Emily continued hanging around Nikolas this month and she has become less perky about her posthumous state. During a seizure, Nikolas was able to see who really killed Emily, but to complete the memory, he had to go to Wyndermere where he and Emily relived their horrific engagement evening. It was really sad and I’m not sure dragging this out and having these two have to part again made for an entertaining storyline. I really do hope that these two get a better send off.

Even though Nikolas has the answer to who killed Emily, he still has his tumor because he’s a Cassadine and they can never be happy. Dr. Devlin put himself on this case and is pushing the prince to agree to an experimental treatment as long as he doesn’t tell anyone.

Oh this is going to end well.

I really don’t like this guy. He keeps yacking at Robin about being afraid to try an experimental drug which, by the way, is ridiculous.

Let’s review:

Robin and Patrick are always drug therapy vs. surgery. Robin has used experimental therapies in the past (i.e. Jason) so why are they suddenly making her all anti-experimental drugs? Is there a maximum on the number of GH doctors allowed to use experimental drugs? Either way, this dude is so shady and I was super excited to see him freak at the sight of Jerry.

No one screams shady quite like Jerry Jax and I’m glad to see my skepticism of the new doc is justified. Seriously, do they hire just anybody at this hospital? Have they ever heard of a background check?

Now that we’ve covered the death, why don’t we switch over to the life?

Robin found out she was pregnant and spilled the beans to Patrick and I have already discussed how much I hated her lie. Well, obviously no one cares about my feelings because the lie continued. Someone who did comment on the pregnancy was Nadine and for the first time I was thankful for Aunt Raylene. The new nurse’s ramblings gave Scrubs fans the morning after scene they were deprived of after the baby’s conception and I think it was a nice flashback.

Something that really bothered me about the pregnancy (in addition to everything else) was that none of Robin’s family got any kind of recognition scene. Maxie came to the hospital asking for help a couple of times and never acknowledged the baby. I thought maybe they didn’t know, until Mac mentioned the baby matter-of-factly. I’m really disappointed we didn’t get any happy “Uncle Mac, I’m pregnant” scenes. It was during the one Robin/Mac scene that’s allotted for each sweeps period, Patrick overheard Robin mention the baby’s father and things started to fall into place for him.

February was a good month Patrick’s character because I started to remember why I used to like him. The biggest thing was him was standing up to Carly. I have been dying for that moment and here’s what happened:

Jax: Oh. So who -- who do we congratulate, then?
Patrick: Robin went to a sperm bank, actually.
Carly: Couldn't find a real one?
Jax: You know --
Patrick: It was very brave and independent of her......

Sure, it wasn’t as aggressive as I would have liked, but considering I thought that day would never come, I’ll take it. Taking a slight tangent ......... I have to say I am so irritated that these women have to share their pregnancies at the same time as one another. You know this is going to end badly. At best, this feud is now going to continue through their children, at worst, someone is going to think a baby swap/stealing storyline will be ingenious.

FYI, it’s not, so don’t even try it. That means you, Mr. Head Writer.

Anyway, let’s try and refocus on the pretty.

That’s better.

So Patrick continued speaking highly of Robin to her and to others, did nice things for patients and gave her presents. I thought it was all sweet, but then I later realized that some of the gestures were probably him trying to get her to admit the truth about the baby. I’m not thrilled about the passive aggressive manner, but the truth is now out there and I am beyond relieved that there was no third party involved with this reveal. It was Patrick and Robin, one on one and I am so thankful that this lie did not last for months. Considering how bad this story was messed up, I’m surprised, but happy to see something go semi-right.

Another shock for me was seeing Luke reappear so soon and he’s probably rethinking the intelligence of that plan right about now since the Q’s are at war with one another. Tracy slapped Monica with a malpractice suit and Monica kicked Tracy out of HER house (the one Alan gave to her). Tracy has taken off the gloves and decided she doesn’t want Luke back and I’ve enjoyed watching her regain her spunk. Her fierceness matches her new fierce haircut. Luke doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit and he makeup to Tracy by discovering that Monica’s been becoming/is an alcoholic. It’s entirely possible she hit Sam in her drunken state and while I’m glad to see her get a storyline, I hate that it puts her in such a negative light. It could be worse I guess. She could be a track-suit wearing apparition slash manifestation of Tracy’s conscience.

Over on the docks in mobland, Claudia Z hit Port Charles. In case you missed it, the character’s being played by Carly's original portrayer, Sarah Brown. I thought her trips down memory lane were cute.........

......and I was prepared to like her for the simple fact that she bullies "Trevors," but now I'm not so sure. There was no buildup to her and Sonny jumping in the sack (wasted opportunity I say) and I hate that their now turning her into another woman scorned. I’m concerned she’s quickly going to turn into (or back into ?) another Carly and I’m pretty sure I can only stand one of her.

As I mentioned, Carly is pregnant, which I think is horrible idea since she can't handle the children she already has. Michael is taking after his father and decided to buy a gun to protect his family. The mini mobster accidentally shot Kate and then skipped town to avoid punishment. In my opinion, it would have been more dramatic if he shot Carly and endangered the baby, but whatevs. It still caused sufficient drama with Sonny who has gone off on a tirade against the Zaccharas who are actually innocent.

Ric would typically be in the middle of all of this, but he went on a journey to find himself and I thought that meant he would get a break from all the mob craziness, but I was wrong.

That’s what I get for thinking I guess.

While away, Ric met a woman named Marianna (recast twice in one month) who he is falling for, but it turns out she’s working for Trevor. Can this guy ever get a break? I really want him to get past all this brother/father angst so why can’t we give Ric some mental illness and let him have a clean slate ? The malfunction in Ric‘s brain could be operated on by Patrick, preferable shirtless, and that could be your whole episode. Toss in a little gratuitous shirtless Lucky and you could call it a day. Now that's my idea of an ideal sweeps month.

I'm just saying.

Thanks to Clarissa and Kim for caps.

Just Saying

I actually found there was more balance in the writing this week. Can’t be sure if it’s because sweeps are about to kick in or if it’s an effect of the strike, but there was definitely balance, at least that’s what I think it was. I haven’t seen it in so long, I think I may have forgotten what it looks like ……..
Anyways, I wasn’t engaged in any of the stories because I felt like they went nowhere. So, because of my boredom and hectic schedule, I bring you this week’s column, on speed:

STORYLINE: Text Message Killer

Alexis - Hooray she’s DA again (temporarily), but did she really have to get choked/threatened by the killer? I repeat STOP TARGETING ALEXIS!

Felicia/Mac - I was glad to see Mac finally get to have his say about Felicia bailing. Not so glad to see that Kristina Wagner still has that nervous face tic because it's really distracting.

Maxie/Coop - Okay, first off, totally knew Coop wasn‘t the killer. Secondly, give me a freakin’ break!!! That was such a waste of a perfectly good character. Oh and not only did Maxie have to once again find her boyfriend dead, but you brought back the dreaded beanie/hat/rag thingy?
That’s just cruel.

STORYLINE: Jake’s Paternity

Lucky/Sam- Lucky agreed to give him and Sam a try and took care of Elizabeth's kids while she was in the hospital. The whole “I’ll catch you” thing was totally cheesy, but he looked so adorable doing it that I will overlook it. In case you missed it, Greg Vaughan is my weakness.

Carly/Jax - Couldn’t they have sent Jax on his Hawaii trip prior to getting the recast? Carly is still getting on my nerves with the hypocrisy, but I’ll leave it at that because she made fun of Jason’s wardrobe:

Jason: You want to give me something for my birthday? Leave Elizabeth alone.
Carly: A new leather jacket would be more practical.
Jax: Yeah, and not to mention more lasting.

Jason earned some points for saying a few smart things this week as well:

Jason: Holding a gun does not make you a man.

Please, can you put that on little memos and pass it throughout the halls of the General Hospital set. Better yet, go to the prop room and carve it into all the guns. That way the message is sure to be seen.

Oh yes, and his Carly rant was golden:

Jason: I know you care, okay? I know you care -- it's not good how you show it! You come down on people with both feet because they're not doing what you want or what you think is best! You stand there, you judge, you get to judge again, nobody gets to say anything about what you do! What is this -- you're bored with Jax being gone again?
Carly: I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I just love you. I love you so much, and I want you to have everything. I want all of us to have everything. I want you, me, and Sonny to have it all, and something always gets in the way.
Jason: You're right, Carly. Sometimes that something is -- is you.

After hearing those words, I think I might possibly not completely and totally hate Jason Morgan.


STORYLINE: Mob War (take 6,386)

James/Jerry/Moreau/Name that the majority of our polled audience selected this week - If this new baddie is new, then why does it really matter if we don’t see his face?

Ric - I couldn’t believe he actually got scenes, but then I saw they were mostly flashbacks. Between his memories and Elizabeth’s dreams, you can totally tell there’s a writer’s strike going on.

Johnny/Lulu- The Johnny and Lulu romance continues to irk me because no one can seem to leave Lulu with a guy long enough for me to care. Slightly off topic, I thought the broody piano playing was kind of cute, but then I realized I don’t think he was really playing and I was simply amused.

Skate - After Kate presumably turned down Sonny’s proposal, he threw a tantrum by buying half of Bensonhurst and tearing it up. And we wonder why Michael’s such a brat. By the way, the whole kids buys a gun angle is creeping me out and I think he should be the next one voted off the island.

STORYLINE: The Hospital

Nikolas/Emily - Nikolas declared he doesn’t want an operation because he's afraid he‘ll lose Emily and Nadine keeps popping up for support, I guess. Honestly, I think they’re pushing the newbie too hard. Suddenly she’s all sad and toting around this locket like she's done it forever? I get that in soaps people work in pairs, but shouldn’t you wait until Emily’s gone? I mean, I know she’s gone, but she’s not gone gone. Can’t they wait until her astral projection or hallucination form or whatever she is today has left?

Monica - Are we actually going somewhere with the drinking bit? If so, color me shocked that she's getting a story and annoyed that what they're giving her puts her in a negative light.

Patrick/Robin - These two have always fought, but for months now it’s been petty and annoying and I now cringe every time they walk on the set. Great job ruining the last entertaining couple on this show. Oh and did Robin really just share her secret with Elizabeth of all people? And she’s going to lie to Patrick? Oh yes. This story is so original and so like Robin.

Dr. Devlin (aka the new doctor):

Really? That’s what you have for me? Couldn’t we have gotten someone cuter? And what's with the attitude? Is Dr. Patrick Drake part II really necessary? Pretty sure I’ve seen what you’ve done to the original and if that’s where this ride is headed, I think I’ll take a pass.

I’m just saying.

Thanks to Clarissa for the caps.

Just Saying

This week GH once again tried to ripoff a ripoff of last year's hostage situation by having another hostage situation, but wait, it's new and improved! It's now in the hospital and the man is an out-of-work mechanic who doesn't have insurance, but is threatening to blow up the hospital if no one helps his pregnant wife.

Color me bored.



To recap, Joe Smith (Really? I mean I get that he's an average guy. Isn't the plain name a little over-the-top?) vacillated from calm, rational man to angry, I'm going to blow us up guy. Sam showed up (for no apparent reason) and helped calm Joe down and Jason suddenly appeared and saved the day by grabbing the bomb that wasn't really a bomb which he totally knew.


In another words, it was like every other "crisis" where Jason shows up and saves the day. You missed nothing. Actually, scratch that. This time was slightly different because veteran actors were involved and by involved, I mean Monica's character continued to go downhill. Not only could she not stitch up a leg, but she's now and alcoholic who hides flasks in the supply closet.



Luke would be so proud.



Speaking of the Spencers, Lucky got involved in this fiasco thanks to the major's vanity. He's in the hospital for injuries he sustained falling off a skateboard. When he discovers the hostage situation, instead of calling the police, he calls Scott and tells him to take care of the situation quietly, you know, because if this becomes a big deal, he'll look ridiculous.


Um, no. You look ridiculous because you're refusing to call a bomb squad and you sounded ridiculous when you came in asking for Patrick Drake who a) is a neurosurgeon and b) knocked you flat about a year ago. Would you really trust him to treat you after you publicly announced it was alright for his girlfriend to be collateral damage? Are you sure you didn't hit your head?


And coming back from my tangent......


Ah yes. Lucky. I have always been a fan of Mr. Spencer (minus the summer of '06 crap) and Greg Vaughan is definitely rockin' his scenes as of late. Is it just me, or does he look hotter than usual? Let's observe, for scientific purposes of course:


Lucky taking aim:
Hot.

Lucky concerned about endangering the lives of others:
Hot.


Lucky wearing scrubs:

Totally hot.


Lucky wearing scrubs while trying to rescue Elizabeth and Jake:
Still hot.

Elsewhere in the hospital, it was business as usual. I love how Robin totally dismissed the lockdown in the ER. Considering that she's basically been held hostage twice in the last year and was severely wounded during one of those instances, I thought she'd take the situation a little more seriously. Oh that's right. This isn't the real Robin. This is the psuedo-Robin from that crapfest of a spin-off who acts completely out of character all of the time. Got it.

Robin was in doctor mode this week and her main case was Nikolas. The dark prince came in for tests and because they can't find anything, Patrick decides they need to provoke Nikolas in order to get a blood sample while he's angry, but without his consent of course. Totally unethical, but we'll get to Patrick's lack of morals later. The viewers learned that Nik's violent outrages are back once he knocked Robin down and later punched Patrick, which he totally deserved and after Friday's episode I thought he really deserved it, but seriously, can someone not get the guys some fighting lessons? When he gets into a fight, he throws a punch and then whines about his hand. The rest of the time, he just straight up gets his ass kicked. I am embarrassed for him.


After some convincing, Nikolas admits himself and then has some conversations with Emily which I just find completely upsetting because SHE'S STILL DEAD. The brain tumor or whatever they decide is messing with the Cassadine prince this week is likely causing him to see things (i.e. Emily). In another words, if Nikolas wants to get better, he's probably going to have to give up his Emily visions. Love story my ass. This is just depressing.

Something else that's depressing is Robin's pregnancy. As I've already discussed, it's not so much that she's pregnant as much as it's the way she became pregnant. And what the hell was that Leyla crap? Where do I even begin? One, if she is so in love with Patrick, no way in hell could she just sleep with him with no strings. Number two, why the hell would Patrick sleep with her after what he learned earlier (i.e. Robin informed him that Leyla really fell hard for him). In his defense, I can understand why he doesn't get that part because I don't even find it believable. I think it might be the actress, but what I don't understand is, how difficult is it to pretend to be in love with Jason Thompson? I'm sure I could find a couple of people willing to take her place if need be.

Anyway, after Robin draws Patrick a picture, don't you think he would have the good sense to know he's going to hurt the nurse if he does sleep with her again? By the way, what the hell with all the tearing down of Patrick, people? I'm convinced that one of the execs got pissy that Patrick became a popular character once he stopped being an ass. So to punish the viewers for not being "trained" (you know who I'm talking about) the execs/writers are turning Patrick into another misogynistic asshole. Like we need more of those on soaps or in the world.

I don't care how many times you show me this:
Nothing will make the ridiculous regression of Patrick's character okay.

Thirdly, why would you, dear writers, have them hook up (God, just seeing it in print makes me want to vomit) when you know Robin is pregnant and Patrick could be infected? This sucks on all levels because a) this means Leyla will be involved even more with this storyline (because she'll have to wait for HIV tests) or b) the writers will once again dismiss these medical facts and spit in the face of a socially/medically relevant issue. Either way this blows.

Something else that pissed me off was the temporary Jax replacement. I loved that he called Carly out on her Jason worship, but why couldn't Ingo be the one to do it? I mean, the dude's had to deal with the various incarnations from the start and if someone's going to start handing out anti-Carly lines, I think he's earned the right to deliver them. Would it really have been that hard to schedule those scenes for when Ingo came back? I mean, was all that crap at Jake's with Jerry really necessary? The only reason I even remember those scenes is because of Tracy's fantastic line:

Tracy: When God created Eve, he should've quit while he was ahead.

Ha! If we could have kept that line and delivered it somewhere else minus all the fake Jax crap, I would have been happy, but we all know that's not allowed.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the worst line of the week which goes to Trevor hands down:

Trevor: Hmm. Surprise, surprise. You must be much better in bed than I thought you were.
Pardon me while I shudder in disgust. That is so not something any parent should ever, EVER say to their child. It's just wrong. Something else that's wrong, is if Ric Hearst is leaving the show, not that I would blame him. Ric stopped by to see Alexis (who is now hilariously chummy with Diane) to say goodbye the girls because he was leaving town to think. I love my Rexis scenes, but I am a little concerned with all the recent exits that this was yet another. Here's hoping this is simply a winter vacation.

Someone I could use a little less of is Lulu. This week she was still kidnapped and while I know it's difficult to stay fashionable when imprisoned in an old, dank castle, but what the hell is up with the side bun? Whoever is unleashing all this sideways hairstyles needs to stop. It's not trendy it's annoying and I demand that is cease. There are other ways of getting revenge on cast members that don't include permanently scarring the audience in the process.

Alright, once again Lulu needed rescuing and Logan, Spinelli and Johnny showed up to save the day. Johnny found an injured Lulu first and after some arguing she shoved the mobster who fell on top of an old sword. Then she says she's sorry. Dude, he's got a sword sticking out of his leg. I don't think "sorry" is going to cut it (pun accidentally intended). After that little disaster, the two of them stumble into an old closet full of rum. Then they proceed to get drunk and makeout because that's what you do when you're injured and trying to escape your captors. With plans like that, no wonder she's so easy to snatch.

Rounding out this week's column is Sonny and Kate.
I like the idea of a high school sweetheart and returning home because it's very relatable, but I feel like their conversation has been on a loop for months now. Maybe that will stop soon because at the end of the week Sonny proposed. I might have been more moved if they guy didn't change women as frequently as he changes his socks. I can imagine his thought process building up to this decision.

Hmm...it's January. Time to get married again. Carly's already married and there isn't enough time left in the month to get her divorced. I know. I'll ask the next woman who agrees to dinner with me. Sweet, it's Kate!

What? That's how it seemed to me. I'm just saying.

Thanks to laurieluvsliason for the caps.

Just Saying

Carly finally knows about Jake and I was glad to see her realize that maybe Jason doesn't trust her as much as she thinks. I know that sounds bitchy, but I feel like Carly's one of those women who has ALWAYS gotten her way.



Example#1: Carly exacted revenge on her mother for giving her up for adoption by sleeping with Bobbie's husband and then shooting him in open court, but her mother forgave her (can't say I would have done the same).

Example #2: Carly slept with Jason's best friend, Sonny, but both still tolerate her.

Example #3: Carly and Jax stole Nikolas' son and tried to pass him off as a Jacks and when the truth came out, no kidnapping charges were filed.

Example #4: Carly married Sonny and slept with him while still engaged to Jax, but Jax forgave Carly and married her anyway.

So no, I don't feel bad in the least that Carly feels betrayed by Jason. I think Sam spilling the beans to get revenge was a great soapy choice. What I don't like is that no one is pointing out Carly's hypocrisy. Actually, Sonny did for a moment and I was so grateful:

Carly: Do you think it was his idea to keep me in the dark about Jake being his son? I mean, the whole town knows.
Sonny: No, no, no, the whole world doesn't know. That's the point in not telling you. Because it's not your business. Excuse me.
Carly: Jason is my dearest friend, okay? I'm closer to him than anyone, including my husband.
Sonny: Doesn't that tell you something about your marriage?
Carly: Don't you think that Jason deserves the opportunity to love and raise his son just like any other father?
Sonny: Well, that's a self-serving argument, and not to mention, hypocritical, since you tried to take my kids away from me.
Carly: That was different.
Sonny: Well, of -- is -- of course you'd say that.


As great as this was, why can no specifically address the A.J. debacle? For those of you who may not know, Carly kept Michael from his real father and I'm sure at one point or another she said it was to protect the child. Fast forward to now, when Jason wants to keep Jake's paternity a secret to protect him, but Carly says no. According to her, Jason should be with Jake because he's his son. Gee, where was this wisdom years ago when A.J. was being hung from a meat hook? Because this is Carly, I'm sure this point will never be brought up, but just this once, I wouldn't mind being wrong.

Elizabeth was pretty pissed about Sam spilling the beans and the two of them went at it. Liz's bitch faces are convincing, but they're getting old. There are waaayyy too many bitchy women running around Port Charles and it's times like these that I really miss Georgie Jones.

An epidemic of misbehaving kids hit Port Charles this week and it was more than a little irritating. Kristina was pissy with Ric, Michael is turning into a minimobster and Cameron is now a little pyro. Camerons antics with matches, coupled with a broken doorknob, resulted in Liz locked outside of her burning home while Jake is trapped inside. Gee, I am so worried that Jake, Jason's son, won't be saved. As if.

Time for a little positivity: Greg Vaughan is kicking ass right now. This week he made a heartfelt declaration to Liz that he loves her kids and promises to do whatever he can to keep them safe, even though biologically, they aren't his. He also had a sincere talk with Sam about their future and about her changing her lifestyle. There was no yelling, just pure honesty, which is refreshing in itself, but Greg Vaughan's delivery and facial expressions were just spot on for me. I hope he continues to shine with this new material because I think it's going to take a lot of work to undo the crap these writers have put Luke Spencer's son through.

Speaking of the lovable scoundrel, he once again skipped town, but he wasn't alone. His companion was Skye, who, earlier in the week, bonded with Ric. Before we go any further, I have a question: Was the Ric/Skye bonding awkward because:

a) Ric came on to Skye in her old house
b) Ric came on to Skye in the same room where he did his ex-stepdaughter (barf)
c) Ric came on to Skye in his ex-wife's current house
d)All of the above

Skye decided she wanted out of the insanity that is Port Charles so she gave Ric Lorenzo's piers and said some quick goodbyes to the Q's on her way out of town. I'm glad that Edward was kind to her, but I am a little sad that Monica didn't say anything. I would have liked to have seen her make some peace with Skye before she left and I would like to have seen Lila Rae on screen once more, but oh well. I guess I'll just have to be thankful that Skye didn't leave in a body bad.

As much as I hate to see either character go, I was so pleased that Skye and Luke left Port Charles together, courtesy of a mini caper.
Of course, the departure was bittersweet:

Luke: I can't thank you enough for smuggling me out of that hellhole.
Skye: So, where are you going?
Luke: I don't know. That's the best part of the deal.
Skye: Yeah, well, I just got through telling Edward how lousy I am at goodbyes, so --
Luke: So am I. You were one sweet touch of class around here, Blaze.
Skye: Please, Luke, I was a distraction. I don't think you ever took me any more seriously than that.
Luke: Oh, you're wrong. I took you much more seriously than you know. It's just that you set a standard that I just couldn't reach.
Skye: Hmm.
Luke: You know you dance rings around people just by standing still. You think you'll ever come back?
Gerald: Excuse me.
Skye: Oh, yes. Um -- I know, it's almost time to pick up Lila Rae. I'll be right there, thank you.
Luke: I looked a lot better in that suit than he does, don't you think?
Skye: If Tracy’s not good to you, I may have to come back. Take care of yourself.
Luke: You, too.
Skye: See ya.
Luke: I hope so.

I will definitely miss the chemistry between these two.

Somewhere in backwoods Pennsylvania, Diane and Alexis offered some humor this week with their crazy road trip to their awards banquet. The two lawyers didn't quite make it to their event, but watching them get kicked off a plane, have numerous car troubles and then deal with the patrons of a biker bar was amusing. After accepting they weren't going to make the banquet, the women had their own celebration in a deserted bar. We learned some more about Diane's past and while I appreciate the fleshing out of a character, I'm annoyed that those characters getting the attention are dayplayers. Case in point: Epiphany.

She lost her son Stan and she's getting all this attention, including one visit from Monica who said she knows what it's like to lose a child.

So. Much. Wrong.

Number one, hooray for Monica being at the hospital, but it's crap that she was only given two lines. Number two, why the hell has her grief been all but dismissed? My guess is the only reason her and Edward were allowed to be at General Hospital this week was so that the powers-that-be could finish taking out the rest of the Quartermaines with the mechanic who's threatening to detonate a bomb so his uninsured wife can get treatment.

This storyline is ridiculous!

What is up with all the freakin' explosions on this show?? Let's see if we can put this guy to some use shall we? Alright, here's how it's going to go:

Monica and Edward have already gone home and all that's left are all those newbies so Mr. Crazy Mechanic Man can go ahead and blowup the hospital. It's sickening how much NightShift is infesting this show. I don't recognize any of the hospital personnel anymore and to make things worse, they've started using that God awful CGI during the daytime GH. So Joe, go ahead and blow the place up, just make sure you take all that Night Shift crap with you. If I wanted to see that junk, I'd watch it on that so-called soap channel.

Just saying.


Thanks to laurieluvsliason for caps.

Just Saying

Luke: What fresh hell is this?

Exactly.

Every episode of General Hospital feels like 40 minutes (thank you once again fast-forward button inventor) of hell these days and this week was no exception.

To kick things off this week we had the New Years episode, which was beyond depressing. Let's review:

*Jax was sick and missed the party at his own hotel.

*Said party was not even shown. I know it's not a big deal, but I'm a fan of tradition and I was starting to think of the Metro Court party as a tradition of sorts. Oh that's right, they were axed due to budget cuts.

*Jason ditched Elizabeth, probably to kill someone. Now there's a guy who has his priorities straight.

*Nikolas spent the evening with is fianceé..................who just happens to be dead.

*Sonny was arrested.

(sidenote: apparently Courtney's loft was shipped to Manhattan and converted into an art gallery so Lainey and Kelly are just as homeless as Robin.)

*Robin and Patrick argued. Then made up. Then lost the patient that Georgie had recommended to Robin.

Oh yes. The new year is going to be a bright one.

Sadly, the rest of the week was not an improvement.

Luke had another version of hell where he dressed in drag at one point.

Okay, small "hee!" but seriously, did we really need to be subjected to yet another hell and not a very amusing one at that?

Lulu was kidnapped, again, and I couldn't care less.

Felicia is surprisingly still in town, but apparently it's just so she can be verbally abused by Maxie (not that it isn't warranted).

Alexis and Diane were both nominated for some lawyery award and while I'm amused, why can't veteran actors be used for more than just comedy?

I will toss out one compliment this week and it goes to the scenes where Alexis walks in on Skye and Ric who were obviously otherwise occupied. The dialogue was full of double meanings and because I have the maturity of a 3rd grader when it comes to dirty jokes, I chuckled once ............ okay maybe twice.

Alexis: Ah. I didn't mean to interrupt a meeting.
Skye: No, I can go.
Ric: No, no, no.
Alexis: No, don't -- sit. You look very comfortable. So if you're in the middle of a merger of some sort, I don't want to interrupt.
Ric: No, no. Uh, thanks for coming.

So other than that, this week was beyond painful. You know a show is getting bad when you only have to watch four episodes and you still would have preferred a root canal to reliving that viewing experience.

I'm just saying.

Caps provided by laurieluvsliason.

Just Saying

For those of you keeping track, I still hate this flippin' show because Georgie Jones is still dead. If anything else happened this week, I don't know what is was because I was too focused on this travesty.

I was surprised that Georgie was given a funeral, but I'm not sure it was better than the alternative. For starters, what was this:



Clearly someone took this picture last minute and it's so unflattering. That hoodie is awful and why is her gorgeous hair pulled back? What was wrong with using one of the cast stills they have on file like they've done with everyone else they've killed? Granted, that last round of promo shots were not flattering to Lindze at all, but what's wrong with the older ones? For example, this picture:
I got this from the General Hospital website. It took two seconds. Could the execs really not be bothered to look for a decent picture?

Hate. All I feel is hate and rage.


Another shocker was that Georgie's death brought Felicia (Kristina Wagner) back to town. I was surprised mostly because if memory serves, Kristina and ABC parted ways because they couldn't agree on a contract and possibly didn't part in the best of terms. The return of this vet should have been a plus, but unfortunately, her performance seemed..........off. Maybe it's because she hasn't worked with Kirsten Storms or maybe because there are hard feelings behind the scenes. If it's the latter, I'd like to think that Kristina cared enough about telling a story to suck it up for a few days so that Georgie was shown some kind of respect.



Felicia (the recast) faded into the background about two years ago and it took months (possibly a year) before anyone offered the explanation that she went to Texas to take care of a sick grandmother. As time went on she didn't contact her kids and the fact that no one took two seconds to say she called to check in was ridiculous. With Felicia's return came another explanation for her absence. I think the writers were trying to make it better, but the more she spoke, the worse it got:

Felicia: Mariah got worse. I couldn't take care of her by myself anymore. So I put her in a private health-care facility. It broke my heart, Maxie, but I didn't have any other choice. I was making arrangements to come back home and -- and I got a call. It was from Frisco. He was needing my help. He was in a situation that was deteriorating rapidly, and he didn't know who he could trust.
Maxie: Is Dad all right?
Felicia: He is now. It was touch and go for a little while, but we got through it, together. And then I realized how much I missed us -- how incomplete we were. In your life, Maxie, you get maybe one great love, and Frisco was that for me, but I couldn't live his life. You and Georgie were just babies, and I couldn't just pick up and leave on a moment's notice. So I had to make a choice. I know that you needed me more than Frisco did, so I had to let him go.
Maxie: And you regretted that ever since.
Felicia: No. That is not true. I have loved the life that I have lived in this house with you, Georgie, and Robin and Mac.
Maxie: Did you even love him? Because Mac is wonderful, and he was more of a parent to Georgie and me than you or Dad ever were.
Felicia: I'm well aware of that. Maybe that's why I felt comfortable to leave you with him.
Maxie: But Georgie and I were big girls, and we would have been happy just to know where you were -- to know you were with Dad. We would have kept your precious secret, Mom, even from Mac if you had asked us to, but you didn’t. And you have to tell me why.
Felicia: I didn't really have time to think. I just went. It all happened so fast. So then when I hooked up with Frisco, I couldn't call you. I mean, people were watching us, waiting to see how we were vulnerable. I didn't want to take the chance of putting you and Georgie at risk. Once things settled down, so much time had gone by that I didn't feel like I could make this call, so I kept putting it off. I wish that I hadn’t. I wish that I could hear her voice one more time. I wish that I had come back to see the young woman that she had become. I can see how angry you are with me. And I'll take that anger. I deserve that anger, because I wasn't here when you and Georgie needed me the most. And there's got to be a price to pay for that. But please don't ask me to regret the time that I spent with your father, because I cannot.



Why is it that GH has this incessant need to write all of the mothers and fathers on the show as "deadbeat parents?" Speaking of, this whole Frisco thing not showing up to his daughter's funeral is ridiculous. I really don't think Jack Wagner is planning on returning anytime soon (if ever) and if he did, it's safe to say he wouldn't be written for seeing as how this show abuses vets. I can't believe I'm saying this, but he's someone I wouldn't mind the show killing, especially if it meant saving someone like Georgie who still had a lot of story left to tell.


Another familiar face who returned to town was Dillon. His reaction was a little over-the-top for me, but I'm willing to let it slide because Dillon is a bit of an over-the-top character. Once again, I think the writers were trying to make things better, but they just made it worse. Dillon supposedly came back to whisk Georgie away to Canada to show her where they were going to be filming the movie he's working on. I'm sure he was there for Christmas, but it was a nice gesture that he wanted to spend time with Georgie. What was incredibly crappy was the timing.


Dear writers, this is the definition of the phrase "too little too late."


The way that GQ got destroyed by hurricane Lulu was ridiculous. If they wanted to toss in the abortion storyline, fine. It was controversial so it wasn't a bad idea to go there. What sucked was the fallout. It was obvious that they wanted to pair Lulu with Logan so to add Dillon to the other list of guys who were already chasing her was overkill and a waste of a funky character. When Dillon left town, his goodbyes focused way too much on Lulu instead of Georgie with whom he had a longer history with. I thought it was a huge slap to GQ fans. Yes, I am still bitter about that ridiculous driveby hug this summer.


The only good thing about this whole mess has been the acting by John J. York and Kirsten Storms. Those two have absolutely rocked their scenes. York is completely wasted on this show. A scene of mention is the exchange between Robin and Mac prior to the funeral:
Mac: I'm the police commissioner. I should've caught this bastard a long time ago. Instead, he's been free to roam, wreaking havoc. One of my daughters was attacked in my own living room. And now Georgie's dead.
Robin: Okay, you have to listen to me. You didn't let Georgie down once. You were the one constant in her life -- and Maxie's and mine. You were the one who committed to raising us when our parents couldn't or wouldn’t. You were there -- telling us to eat broccoli and do our homework, dealing with our raging female hormones, making us know every single day that we were just as loved as any kid in any normal family. Think of the person Georgie was -- smart, compassionate, loving -- that didn't just happen. She was a reflection of the best of you, Uncle Mac.
Mac: Whew.
Robin: You cannot control what's random. And believe me, you are the best parent any of us could've asked for.


I don't know how this little piece of gold found it's way into this crap pile of a show but I'll take it.

Maxie's eulogy was also a nice scene, except for the part where she tore into Felicia. It was totally inappropriate, but it was completely Maxie-like and it was soapy so it wasn't an entirely bad choice. What is a bad choice is the lack of reasoning behind this. The only thing I see coming from this death is it provides an excuse for Maxie to be angry with Felicia and we can have another "I hate my parents" storyline. There is no reason for her death other than laziness. The writers are too lazy to write for Georgie so it was just easier to kill her off.

Pure laziness.

When you kill off a character, make it count for something. Remember when Jesse Beaudry died? His death set up several stories: Noah's liver transplant, Maxie spiraling out of control and Lucky's pill addiction (partly). Georgie's death sets up diddly squat.

You know, I feel an odd sense of déjà vu.

I know why. Because I wrote about Emily's funeral a few weeks ago. Listen up GH execs. Murder, funerals and heartaches during the holidays is NOT a good idea. No one finds this entertaining.

I'm just saying.


Thanks to laurieluvsliason for the caps.

Just Saying

I'll keep this week's column short and sweet because I'm saving my energy for an upcoming rant. Believe me, you'll know it when you see it.

Alrighty then. I surprisingly enjoyed Luke's heart surgery storyline this week because of all the family interaction and of course the dream sequence, which I already discussed. I adored his scenes with Lucky and I was pleasantly surprised by his talk with Barbara Jean. These two really have a great brother/sister vibe and it's a shame the writers don't put it to good use more often. Despite these surprises, I think I was most shocked that I saw Tracy, Scotty, Leslie and Bobbie all in one place for an extended amount of time and it wasn't a holiday or a funeral. I mean can you believe that many vets were allowed to be dusted off and hauled out of storage at once? I would like to think that one of the higher ups have finally heard my pleas to use the veteran actors, but truthfully, I think they had to use them because everyone else is on Christmas vacation. The fact that the decision was likely not caused by a positive shift in the writing makes me nervous considering there's a killer on the loose.

Maxie's would be killer is still out there, but the spunky Jones girl lives to be blunt another day thanks to Georgie's perfect timing. The younger sister caught a glimpse of the psycho, but not enough to I.D. him. Throughout the week, Georgie grew more suspicious of Coop and enlisted Spinelli's expertise to help her prove it. While Spinelli was explaining his mission to Jason, the hitman finally clued the hacker slacker into the fact that Ms. Jones has a crush on him. It was actually quite adorable seeing that dim little lightbulb flicker on, but then I grew angry as I realized what was to come.....but I will try to hold onto that anger for the rant that is forthcoming.

While Georgie was becoming more certain that Coop is the culprit, Mac and Lucky were convinced that Johnny is the killer and he was brought in for questioning only to be released thanks to Diane (Jason sent her because he doesn't believe Johnny did it). What shocked me was Diane's monologue on Mac's past:

Mac: Your client is a suspect in a serial murder case. He has a serious rap sheet.
Diane: "Serious," commissioner? A hormonal teenager who drives too fast? Maybe got himself into a couple of fistfights? This is an overprivileged young man with a troubled family life.
Mac: He is a suspect in a serial murder case.
Diane: That your own daughters couldn't identify in a lineup. Now, had my client, for instance, worked as a -- oh, I don't know -- soldier of fortune, let's say -- if his record included assault on a police officer, attempted murder, dealing with loan sharks to pay off gambling debts, and a nasty explosives incident in a mine owned by the Jacks family in Australia -- oh, wait a minute. That's you, isn't it?

Did someone seriously remember that Mac has a history? Holy crap! I wonder if this means the scabs are writing now. Actually, wait. Cancel that. The PCPD employees are still being written as incompetent so it's definitely still the work of the usual writers.

Now time for the lightening round:

*Sam and Lucky decided to move in together, but the when and where are still being worked out and I'm still suspicious of Sam's motives.

*Sonny and Kate are still arguing over boundaries, but Kate gave in and slept with her ex, so it's safe to say her resolve is weakening (dang it, I really want a woman to stand up to Sonny!).

*Lulu's lying to Logan because she's secretly trying to meet Johnny.

*Johnny wanted to broker a truce for Sonny, which I'm all for (it'd be a nice change don't you think?), but Trevor's made that impossible by killing 3 of Sonny's men. As if that wasn't enough, when we left him Friday, he had managed to set up Johnny, Lulu and Sonny to be killed/injured.

*Cruz is alive (hooray!!!) But his brief appearance was just to make Coop look more guilty (boo!!).

*That new nurse's itchy elbow equalling bad things happening was so LAME!! Go put some lotion on your chapped skin and shut up! Bad things have happened in that hospital and throughout Port Charles long before you ever stumbled through those ER doors and bad happenings will continue whether or not you remember to put lotion on your itchy body parts. I'm not knocking all superstitions here, simply really lame ones. There are definitely better superstitions out there.

I'm just saying.

Just Saying - two week review

I’ve endured a lot over the years watching General Hospital, but through it all, I’ve remained a loyal viewer. Well, I think they might have done it. GH execs have found a way to make me stop watching: ugly green paint at the hospital. God, how I hate the color green and the hospital’s makeover is definitely a downgrade. What's the deal? I thought soaps were dealing with budget cuts so why would you waste what little money you have on ugly paint? I’m honestly not sure that I’ll be able to continue watching because every time I see the walls I want to throw up. On the other hand, we all know how little airtime the hospital actually gets and I think it’s safe to say my stomach might be able to handle it's rare appearance.


When we last left off, Emily was pronounced dead and she left a myriad of friends and family behind to pick up the pieces. Sonny went to Monica’s the day of the funeral to ask permission for Jason’s attendance, which she once again denied (didn’t really matter since he hid out in the vestibule anyway). Once again, I was shocked that the writers let Monica get away with all of her anti-Sonny rhetoric:

Monica: Emily is dead because of you, Sonny.
Sonny: If it's my fault, then it can't be Jason's, right?
Monica: Oh, yes, but mostly I blame you, because you were responsible for destroying Jason's life, so he, in turn, could destroy his sister.
Sonny: Monica, I know you hate me, but Jason is your son. He's walking around like he's in a cloud. I think he needs to go to that funeral, and I think maybe you need it, too.
Monica: I need the Jason that I had before you made him a criminal. I need the A.J. I had before you hounded him to death, and I need Alan, whose heart you broke before his heart should ever have failed. I need Michael, who you stole from me and my family. And I need Emily, who you seduced and you left unprotected so one of your rivals could have her murdered. I hope you rot in hell for what you have done to me and my family. You are an evil, selfish man, Sonny, and I really hope that one of your enemies tracks you down, before you destroy your family like you have destroyed mine! Now, get out.


After getting that many shots in, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Monica get “eliminated,” especially with a killer on the loose. I think what was even more shocking, was Sonny admitting to Kate that if he were in Monica’s shoes, he would have killed the person who did as much damage as he has done to her kids. Wonders never cease.


There are only two good things about soap funerals: montages and reappearances of old characters. Dillon looks like the next Ned in training as he (and of course Ned) returned to the canvas for the funeral. I appreciated the Dillon and Georgie scenes, but why are they making her look like the bad guy? Dillon accused her of shutting him out of her life, but in all fairness, he left her behind a long time ago. Georgie admitted that she had met someone (didn’t confess it was Spinelli though) and Dillon said he was happy for her.





While we’re on the subject of her object of affection, why must he continue being oblivious? After the funeral, Georgie brought Spinelli some chicken soup only to be outdone by this random new nurse. During the funeral, instead of sitting next to Mac, she sat behind him. I know seating arrangements can be odd at these funerals because of camera angles and whatnot, but this was ridiculous. I want to know what this actress has done to make the writers treat her character so poorly. Is it the nose piercing? I totally approve of her new jewelry, by the way. It’s very Robinesque. Unfortunately, it looks like her similarities to her cousin will lead to similar tragedic storylines.



There were definitely a few things off with Emily’s funeral. For starters, what was with everyone's sunglasses?
Tracy dear, you're inside. Lose the shades.

And Lulu’s hair?

I so do not approve.

Prior to the funeral, Carly tried to convince Jason to sneak into the service and she said something to the effect that she respected Emily. Um, since when? The other weird thing was not having Ned or any of the Quartermaines speak at the service. Elizabeth got the honors and as eulogies go, it was a rather nice one.


On a bittersweet note, the shot of the Quartermaines gathered together outside the church after the funeral was really nice.

Family is the reason many of us tune in and seeing this ragtag group pull together during times of crisis really does my heart some good. I should probably save this picture though, because God only knows when I’ll see that scene again. Something else I enjoyed was Tracy’s honest take on the situation:


Luke: How was the funeral?
Tracy: It was hideous. My father and Monica sat there like cardboard cutouts. Elizabeth droned on and on about Emily's virtues and you could tell all she wanted to do was find the nearest bathroom and heave, and Nikolas wandered around like a zombie. Don't you dare be the reason I have to endure another day like today. Don't -- you – dare.


I was pleased to see the Musketeers unite, if only for a little while, to get through the service, but afterward they went their separate ways: Elizabeth sought comfort in Jason’s arms and Sam found Lucky at Kelly’s. I’m not sure I’m okay with that last one because Kelly’s was a place for Lucky, Elizabeth, Emily and Nikolas; however, they left quick enough so I'm willing to let it slide.


Speaking of the devastated prince, it’s been really sad watching him wander around his mansion in a fog. At one point, he completely flipped out over Alfred removing all of his fiancé’s clothes from the closet. After the funeral, he went back to his fiancé's room and found her……No I don’t mean a picture of Emily, I mean Emily.
Now that was a "what the hell?" moment if ever I saw one.


Apparently, the writers have gone the way of Alan’s ghost and decided to make Emily aparition as well. At least I think she’s a ghost. She could be a hallucination I suppose given Nikolas’ condition. I’m not exactly clear on the rules and I guess neither are they. So far we know that they can touch, she can follow Nikolas out of the house and unlike Alan, she can change clothes. The writers get creative points for allowing these two to touch because I think it adds that fairy tale element this couple is known for. It was absolutely heartbreaking watching Emily realize she was dead, but once she accepted it, she adamantly told Nikolas he was not her killer, despite the fact that neither one remembers what happened that night. Only in soapland would the phrase “I’m certain you didn’t kill me” be acceptable. Something else that is just absolutely heart wrenching is Nikolas’ fear that she’ll leave once he closes his eyes or that if he gets help for his medical condition she’ll be gone.



Nikolas: You know I can't tell anybody about this, this has to be a secret. If people find out, they'll -- they'll lock me up and you'll disappear from me.
Emily: Not if you want me there.
Nikolas: I wouldn't want you there, not like that.
Emily: What if we're not crazy? With everything that we don't understand about this world, what if it were real?



This is sort of turning out to be a touching story, you know, the fact that death can’t separate a love so strong, but on the other hand, I’m getting a little distracted by Natalia’s constant grinning. Her character's dead. Why is that so funny? I guess death made Alan more of a smartass and Emily more giddy. Whatever. Truthfully, I don’t like either of the ghostly states of these characters because I still wish the writers could find a way to resolve storylines without killing everybody. Sigh.


“If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.”


I thought perhaps one of the best reactions to Emily’s death was Lucky’s. Luke unknowingly dropped the bomb on his son and Greg Vaughan did a good job showing his character go through a range of emotions. I think the has taken advantage of recent scenes and using them to really shine and I hope he continues to do so in the future.



So it looks like Luke’s heart took quite a beating at the Black and White Ball. Monica informed him that the damage is so bad that he needs a quadruple bypass. I know, I too was shocked to see that someone remembered Monica was a cardiologist. Of course, Luke rebelled against the idea and tried to sneak out of the hospital several times and the view of him in his skivvies definitely made me giggle . At one point, he made it all the way to lookout bridge where he celebrated his freedom with a bottle of booze and another heart attack. Lulu and Johnny happened to be there and rushed him back to GH. Now the young cardiologist is telling Luke he needs surgery.
Doesn't the rock t-shirt beneath the lab coat tell you that he mean's business? If this ensemble doesn’t scream professional, I don’t know what does.



After much pleading, Luke eventually gave in. Luke is the one character whose life I've never been concerned for, but given the current state of the show, I'm not so sure. Here's hoping Luke Spencer survives to be a loveable scoundrel another day.




Over in Sonnyland, Kate spent the last two weeks trying to teach him about boundaries. What’s amusing is Sonny’s confusion over the meaning of the word “no.” Actually, Max and Milo are the ones keeping me entertained in this storyline. The whole mess started with Kate’s discovery that Sonny installed a security system in her house without her permission. She became privy to the info thanks to Max’s loose lips and it was quite funny watching him accidentally spill his guts. Afterward, Kate decided to breakup with the king pin until he learned to respect her boundaries. Honey, have you met Sonny? You may be waiting a long time.


Next up, Kate knocked an intruder unconscious and instead of being one of her ex’s hired muscle, it was her new interior decorator. Number 1, why was he sneaking into her house at that time of night? Number 2, they used the same colors as they did on the new hospital set (barf) and I'm wondering why they had to spread it around instead of just sparing the hospital? Once I got over that I realized this was the first time we've seen the inside of her house (I think) then I started wondering, how is it that all of these people who moved out of their ex’s homes/just moved into town (i.e. Sam, Elizabeth, Ric, Kate) all received a set for their house instantly while I still have no idea where poor Robin is living? Since I know I’ll never get that question answered, I’ll just move along. This late-night little encounter led to another hilarious Max/Milo moment that I so enjoyed. The bodyguard brothers were sent outside while Mr. C and Ms. Howard talked and had a little discussion of their own:


Milo: What do you think we should do?
Max: "Think"? Milo, we don't get paid to think. We're told what to do and we were told to wait here.
Milo: Yeah, but I mean, we could be here all night.
Max: Yeah, we could.
Milo: All the cold, cold night.
Max: We're going to be here as long as it takes.
Milo: What do you suppose they're doing in there?
Max: The boss is seducing Ms. Howard, come on.
Milo: Great. Then we really could be here all night.
Max: Didn't we just have this conversation?
Milo: It's not going to happen. She is a tough cookie, Kate. Yeah. No way he seduces her.
[Max chuckles]
Max: Then you don't know Mr. C.
Milo: And you don't know women.
Max: What?
Milo: Yeah. 50 bucks says we're home by 10.
Max: It's on.


I'm happy to say Milo won the bet.



Kate decided to step things up a notch by hiring Alexis to file a complaint against Sonny: his wall is infringing on her yard by three inches. Now this pit Alexis against Diane once again and while Alexis tried to point out this wasn’t about them, Diane was adamant that it was. I wish Alexis could get a real storyline, but again, I know this is all I’m going to get for now so at least Diane’s indignation over Kate’s gift to Alexis:



(Neela Lorente originals) was amusing.

In other mob news, Jason took some time off from “eliminating people” to secretly attend his sister’s wedding before heading hooking up with her best friend. I’m not really a fan of this pairing, but I do recognize that it was big deal for you guys seeing as how they haven’t been together since the original ONS. So hooray for you and you may have a moment to celebrate……

…..and scene.


During afterglow, Jason and Liz discussed the future and how they have no idea what to do. Jason wants this family life, but he’s made some choices (i.e. joining the mob) that prevent that. The solution is really simple: Jason needs a new identity which is also easy as pie to do - just shave your head. I’m sure no one would recognize you sans that incredibly distracting mop atop your head. In a rare occurrence, said hitman melted just a thin layer of ice from around my cold, cold heart with this scene:

It was eventually decided that Lucky would continue pretending to be Jake’s father and on one hand, I’m glad because I would really hate to see Lucky lose those boys because he really does love them, but on the other, he can’t really expound to anyone about how it sucks that Jake isn’t his, except to Sam, who I’m not sure if she is still working Lucky or not.

Speaking of babies, it seems like Carly wants to have another one, but she doesn’t want to tell Jax she’s trying to get pregnant. Great idea Carly. Because keeping things from your husband has worked so well for you in the past. I’m not sure another baby is such a good idea because she has enough to worry about with the two she’s got. She and Sonny finally broke the news to Michael and Morgan that Emily was killed, which, by the way, aren’t the “we have something sad to tell you”/“(insert name of loved one here) has died” conversations becoming awfully frequent? Speaking of the deceased, have Carly and Jax hired a new nanny yet? What? You didn’t think Carly was actually going to take care of her own kids did you?


Anywho, Michael was understandably upset, but he once again wanted to know why Sonny didn’t kill the murderer because “that’s how it works.”


Uh….
…………
……...........
????


Oh yes, Port Charles in the hands of the next generation is not in trouble at all.


Across town, the baby crazies struck again. In an incredibly over the top plot point, a bride who was struck by a car was brought into GH and her worried wedding party followed her. All of this was to show Patrick how precious life is (because being a surgeon who holds life and death in his hands everyday wasn’t enough) and that he still loved Robin (which has been clarified numerous time during the past several months). From there the two kiss and make up on Friday, but Monday’s scenes were a little schizophrenic (because this show is known for continuity) and Robin seemed reluctant and Patty boy proposes a compromise……..over having children…..


?????


Truthfully, I was waiting for King Solomon to pull out the saw.


So Mr. Genius’ idea did not involve a saw, but his "compromise" was to get back together with Robin and table the discussion of babies for a year. Thankfully, Robin did not cave and we were once again back to where we started. The women of the hospital had a lousy week and ended up relaxing a Jake’s. Now, I thought the memories of Emily at their first girls’ night out was a nice, but it was mucked up by Nadine’s presence. Why was she there? The idea that she was supposed to be filling Emily’s recently vacated barstool was rather insulting to me.


Oh, but it gets so much worse…


Patrick and Leo decide they can’t think so they want to sign out and head for the bar as well(wow, this hospital is run so professionally) and of course our favorite female medical personnel are already at Jake’s and quite intoxicated.



Gee. I wonder what’s going to happen next.



Before we examine this debacle, I would like to comment that a Patrick/Leo friendship could totally work. It’s about time Patrick had a friend to give voice to his thoughts. Someone who had no trouble voicing her drunken opinion was Elizabeth. She laid into Patrick and basically called him a coward for not wanting to be a father when there are other men (i.e. Jason) who want to be fathers, but can’t.
So. Much. Wrong.


Ok, so first, was the Jason propping necessary? I mean really. We get that he’s sad about giving his son up blah, blah, blah, blah. We get it already! Second, Elizabeth was way too harsh which only made matters worse because she was the only kinda sorta friend Patrick had at the hospital. Finally, what purpose did this serve? Patrick and Robin are still at an impasse and now they’re just fighting again.


I think I need an aspirin.


I have no doubt this trainwreck would have continued if Alexis hadn’t called Patrick to help clean up Jerry’s mess. While we’re on the subject, why is she his lawyer and can we please quit pairing Alexis with unstable men? Can’t we give her someone normal like Ned? No? Fine. At least I can count on Nancy Lee Grahn to keep me entertained with her Alexis banter:


Alexis: That's quite a hero complex you're lugging around there.
Jerry: And matched only by your persecution complex, which makes us perfect dinner companions. You see? You see? You like me. Why are you trying to be so contrary?
Alexis: Oh, I'm not trying. I am contrary when it comes to you, because I -- I told you, and I -- I will tell you again, so you need to retain the fact. I don't play with fire -- been there, done that. Go burn someone else.
Jerry: Uh-huh. Too bad.
Alexis: Not really.


Sigh. Mildly amused or not, I’m quickly growing tired of all the dysfunction.


In teen land, Johnny watched his paralyzed father get committed and younger Zacchara assumed the throne as it were. In an odd "huh?" moment, don’t these two kind of look alike?


Just some food for thought.

So instead of Johnny backing out of the mess he’s about to inherit, he thinks he’s stuck and he’s just going to have to deal with it. Oh goody. More mob madness.


I was pleasantly surprised to see Maxie and Georgie this week because I so adore their sisterly interactions because they are so convincing and because I crave the normalcy. Unfortunately, I quickly became angry as I realized they were getting involved in this serial killer nonsense. Georgie received an anonymous text about her sister and instead of being concerned that some stranger had her number, she brushed it off. Meanwhile, Maxie headed to the PCPD to give her statement about the Black and White Ball. During that time, Coop started acting shifty and the writers basically threw all suspicion in his direction in a not so subtle way. By the end of the week, the killer had a phone cord wrapped around Maxie’s neck.
Greeaattt.

Just what we need, another murder. I think Maxie will be alright, but it’s Georgie I’m worried about. We hardly ever see her and the only time the GH execs seem to bring out long missed characters is when they're ready to kill them. I’m also more concerned because Georgie is one of the only characters with any morals and she’s currently unattached to any male counterpart. That spells disaster in Port Charles.

I’m off to say some novenas for Georgie, but with the way things have been going lately, this is not going to end how I want it to. I’m just saying.


Thanks to Clarissa for the caps.