The Comeback

Hey all. Miss me? Now that the strike's officially over, I can once again pick up my pen, I mean my keyboard, and share my daytime rants with the world.

Truthfully, I absolutely support the writers, but my absence was not my version of the strike beard. It was actually due to this insane wave of busyness that decided February would be a nice time to crash my life.

Anywhoozle, look for my thoughts on General Hospital's sweeps in the upcoming days and thanks to all of you how have continued to hang around my humble little corner of the Web.

Cynic out!

Baby Blues Part III

The way this storyline is going, this is probably going to become a weekly post.

Let me start off by saying that Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson rock my socks off. In the short time that Robin and Patrick were given today to digest the concept that Robin is pregnant, those actors said so much. The emotions were completely palatable. I found their scenes quite griping, I think because in recent soap breakups, the regret seems onesided (see JaSam/LnL2 debacle).

I was alright with the fact that Robin blurted out the news to Patrick because it's believable and it was so nice to see Patrick being loving and less of an ass. I was actually enjoying myself....
.....and then the peanut gallery walked in.

I get the added drama of an audience, but Kelly and the Stan fill in would have been sufficient. The writers think it's cute shoving all these Night Shit (that's what I said) characters down my throat and I have news for them, it's not. If I was considering watching that crap spin-off, this would totally turn me off to that idea. Patrick and Robin are two legacy characters that I care about with a once-in-a-lifetime story to tell, so why is that they (especially Robin) are getting shafted on airtime?

Even more than the lack of airtime, I hate, hate HATE that the writers decided Robin should lie. What would have been great was if Robin hadn't said anything and just let everybody assume that Patrick's explanation was the truth. Robin could have just been quiet or hell, she could have gotten called away (where's that darn pager when you need it?) before the audience arrived and Patrick could have given his wrong version of the story. Kelly could have filled Robin in later and she could have run with it without actually telling a lie.

I continue to be amazed at how dispointing this story has become.

Is it too late for a do-over?

Bang-up Makeovers

Whenever a soap actor gets a haircut, it seems like half the cast gets a new 'do. The recent trend among the women is bangs and I thought it was time for a shallow post.

Wow! Now that was a surprise. I was not expecting such a dramatic change, but I like it. Jane Elliot is totally rockin' that cut.

Also shocking was Megan Ward's new bangs.

They're not hideous, but I think they detract more than they enhance her already gorgeous hair.

Although these bangs aren't new, they did have a less than flattering experience last week.

I would look scared too Becky Herbst.

That's better.

The same hair stylist worked his/her magic on Kimberly McCullough's bangs...
... and then he/she was fired for doing something nice for the character of Robin and substandard beautician stepped in.

Really, guys? Please stop abusing Kimberly McCullough for being naturally adorable.

Caps provided by Clarissa.

Just Saying

I actually found there was more balance in the writing this week. Can’t be sure if it’s because sweeps are about to kick in or if it’s an effect of the strike, but there was definitely balance, at least that’s what I think it was. I haven’t seen it in so long, I think I may have forgotten what it looks like ……..
Anyways, I wasn’t engaged in any of the stories because I felt like they went nowhere. So, because of my boredom and hectic schedule, I bring you this week’s column, on speed:

STORYLINE: Text Message Killer

Alexis - Hooray she’s DA again (temporarily), but did she really have to get choked/threatened by the killer? I repeat STOP TARGETING ALEXIS!

Felicia/Mac - I was glad to see Mac finally get to have his say about Felicia bailing. Not so glad to see that Kristina Wagner still has that nervous face tic because it's really distracting.

Maxie/Coop - Okay, first off, totally knew Coop wasn‘t the killer. Secondly, give me a freakin’ break!!! That was such a waste of a perfectly good character. Oh and not only did Maxie have to once again find her boyfriend dead, but you brought back the dreaded beanie/hat/rag thingy?
That’s just cruel.

STORYLINE: Jake’s Paternity

Lucky/Sam- Lucky agreed to give him and Sam a try and took care of Elizabeth's kids while she was in the hospital. The whole “I’ll catch you” thing was totally cheesy, but he looked so adorable doing it that I will overlook it. In case you missed it, Greg Vaughan is my weakness.

Carly/Jax - Couldn’t they have sent Jax on his Hawaii trip prior to getting the recast? Carly is still getting on my nerves with the hypocrisy, but I’ll leave it at that because she made fun of Jason’s wardrobe:

Jason: You want to give me something for my birthday? Leave Elizabeth alone.
Carly: A new leather jacket would be more practical.
Jax: Yeah, and not to mention more lasting.

Jason earned some points for saying a few smart things this week as well:

Jason: Holding a gun does not make you a man.

Please, can you put that on little memos and pass it throughout the halls of the General Hospital set. Better yet, go to the prop room and carve it into all the guns. That way the message is sure to be seen.

Oh yes, and his Carly rant was golden:

Jason: I know you care, okay? I know you care -- it's not good how you show it! You come down on people with both feet because they're not doing what you want or what you think is best! You stand there, you judge, you get to judge again, nobody gets to say anything about what you do! What is this -- you're bored with Jax being gone again?
Carly: I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I just love you. I love you so much, and I want you to have everything. I want all of us to have everything. I want you, me, and Sonny to have it all, and something always gets in the way.
Jason: You're right, Carly. Sometimes that something is -- is you.

After hearing those words, I think I might possibly not completely and totally hate Jason Morgan.


STORYLINE: Mob War (take 6,386)

James/Jerry/Moreau/Name that the majority of our polled audience selected this week - If this new baddie is new, then why does it really matter if we don’t see his face?

Ric - I couldn’t believe he actually got scenes, but then I saw they were mostly flashbacks. Between his memories and Elizabeth’s dreams, you can totally tell there’s a writer’s strike going on.

Johnny/Lulu- The Johnny and Lulu romance continues to irk me because no one can seem to leave Lulu with a guy long enough for me to care. Slightly off topic, I thought the broody piano playing was kind of cute, but then I realized I don’t think he was really playing and I was simply amused.

Skate - After Kate presumably turned down Sonny’s proposal, he threw a tantrum by buying half of Bensonhurst and tearing it up. And we wonder why Michael’s such a brat. By the way, the whole kids buys a gun angle is creeping me out and I think he should be the next one voted off the island.

STORYLINE: The Hospital

Nikolas/Emily - Nikolas declared he doesn’t want an operation because he's afraid he‘ll lose Emily and Nadine keeps popping up for support, I guess. Honestly, I think they’re pushing the newbie too hard. Suddenly she’s all sad and toting around this locket like she's done it forever? I get that in soaps people work in pairs, but shouldn’t you wait until Emily’s gone? I mean, I know she’s gone, but she’s not gone gone. Can’t they wait until her astral projection or hallucination form or whatever she is today has left?

Monica - Are we actually going somewhere with the drinking bit? If so, color me shocked that she's getting a story and annoyed that what they're giving her puts her in a negative light.

Patrick/Robin - These two have always fought, but for months now it’s been petty and annoying and I now cringe every time they walk on the set. Great job ruining the last entertaining couple on this show. Oh and did Robin really just share her secret with Elizabeth of all people? And she’s going to lie to Patrick? Oh yes. This story is so original and so like Robin.

Dr. Devlin (aka the new doctor):

Really? That’s what you have for me? Couldn’t we have gotten someone cuter? And what's with the attitude? Is Dr. Patrick Drake part II really necessary? Pretty sure I’ve seen what you’ve done to the original and if that’s where this ride is headed, I think I’ll take a pass.

I’m just saying.

Thanks to Clarissa for the caps.

Baby Blues Part II

Leo: ....hey, it's good you had me run those HIV tests earlier after you spent the night with Robin. Now you can let her know you're not infected even though the condom broke and everything will be fine.
Patrick: Yeah, now that I know I'm not infected, I think it's better that I don't say anything. At least that way we don't have to have that awkward conversation about what happened that night, what it meant or didn't mean.

Um, are you trying to piss me off? You have the opportunity to tell this ground-breaking HIV pregnancy story and this is the way you do it? Wow.

So in case you missed it today, this little lockerroom convo was overheard by Robin who has decided to keep the pregnancy to herself now that she knows Patrick isn't infected. Give me a freakin' break!!! This is so wrong on so many levels!!!

1.) This never should have been an oops pregnancy.

2.) Patrick's a freaking doctor. He knows that if a condom broke there's a chance Robin could get pregnant. Uh, does he not think he should mention it to her since that would throw a wrench into her plans of going to a sperm bank?

3.) Robin would never not tell the father given her history with paternity issues. If the writers go this route, it's only so Carly can stick it to Robin and call her a hypocrite, you know, because the writers seem to think we enjoy watching the banshee tell everyone how horrible they are so she doesn't have to focus on what a wreck she is.

4.) Why the hell would take an already unique storyline and water it down by making it like every other pregnancy in the history of soaps? Paternity secrets are overdone and no one cares anymore. Not to mention how ridiculous it's going to sound if Robin tells Kelly and everyone else she hooked up with some random guy. Robin is not that type of character so who's going to believe her?

God!!! I can't..... I just.... I have no words. No words could ever possibly convey the magnitude of my disappointment. Way to go GH. Another dissatisfied customer.

More Crazy Days Casting Shakeups

Um, alright, so I wasn't pleased about Julie Pinson's dismissal, but what in the world are they thinking now? According to Soap Opera Network, both Martha Madison and Brandon Beemer have been fired.

Say what?

I thought their acting has actually improved and what really doesn't make sense to me is it doesn't sound like recasting, but getting rid of the characters, two legacy characters. Why do I think that? Because of the recent additions of Tamara Braun and Shirley Jones (yes, that is the Partridge family mom). When bringing in bigger names into a cast, it typically means other actors getting the boot. I think it's pretty clear that Shirley's just a sweeps stunt so getting rid of characters who have plenty of story ahead of them for a temporary character seems a little silly to me. I know Tams was pretty popular on General Hospital, but I would prefer to watch characters I grew up with and am invested in, instead of new character, no matter who's playing her.

Just Saying

This week GH once again tried to ripoff a ripoff of last year's hostage situation by having another hostage situation, but wait, it's new and improved! It's now in the hospital and the man is an out-of-work mechanic who doesn't have insurance, but is threatening to blow up the hospital if no one helps his pregnant wife.

Color me bored.



To recap, Joe Smith (Really? I mean I get that he's an average guy. Isn't the plain name a little over-the-top?) vacillated from calm, rational man to angry, I'm going to blow us up guy. Sam showed up (for no apparent reason) and helped calm Joe down and Jason suddenly appeared and saved the day by grabbing the bomb that wasn't really a bomb which he totally knew.


In another words, it was like every other "crisis" where Jason shows up and saves the day. You missed nothing. Actually, scratch that. This time was slightly different because veteran actors were involved and by involved, I mean Monica's character continued to go downhill. Not only could she not stitch up a leg, but she's now and alcoholic who hides flasks in the supply closet.



Luke would be so proud.



Speaking of the Spencers, Lucky got involved in this fiasco thanks to the major's vanity. He's in the hospital for injuries he sustained falling off a skateboard. When he discovers the hostage situation, instead of calling the police, he calls Scott and tells him to take care of the situation quietly, you know, because if this becomes a big deal, he'll look ridiculous.


Um, no. You look ridiculous because you're refusing to call a bomb squad and you sounded ridiculous when you came in asking for Patrick Drake who a) is a neurosurgeon and b) knocked you flat about a year ago. Would you really trust him to treat you after you publicly announced it was alright for his girlfriend to be collateral damage? Are you sure you didn't hit your head?


And coming back from my tangent......


Ah yes. Lucky. I have always been a fan of Mr. Spencer (minus the summer of '06 crap) and Greg Vaughan is definitely rockin' his scenes as of late. Is it just me, or does he look hotter than usual? Let's observe, for scientific purposes of course:


Lucky taking aim:
Hot.

Lucky concerned about endangering the lives of others:
Hot.


Lucky wearing scrubs:

Totally hot.


Lucky wearing scrubs while trying to rescue Elizabeth and Jake:
Still hot.

Elsewhere in the hospital, it was business as usual. I love how Robin totally dismissed the lockdown in the ER. Considering that she's basically been held hostage twice in the last year and was severely wounded during one of those instances, I thought she'd take the situation a little more seriously. Oh that's right. This isn't the real Robin. This is the psuedo-Robin from that crapfest of a spin-off who acts completely out of character all of the time. Got it.

Robin was in doctor mode this week and her main case was Nikolas. The dark prince came in for tests and because they can't find anything, Patrick decides they need to provoke Nikolas in order to get a blood sample while he's angry, but without his consent of course. Totally unethical, but we'll get to Patrick's lack of morals later. The viewers learned that Nik's violent outrages are back once he knocked Robin down and later punched Patrick, which he totally deserved and after Friday's episode I thought he really deserved it, but seriously, can someone not get the guys some fighting lessons? When he gets into a fight, he throws a punch and then whines about his hand. The rest of the time, he just straight up gets his ass kicked. I am embarrassed for him.


After some convincing, Nikolas admits himself and then has some conversations with Emily which I just find completely upsetting because SHE'S STILL DEAD. The brain tumor or whatever they decide is messing with the Cassadine prince this week is likely causing him to see things (i.e. Emily). In another words, if Nikolas wants to get better, he's probably going to have to give up his Emily visions. Love story my ass. This is just depressing.

Something else that's depressing is Robin's pregnancy. As I've already discussed, it's not so much that she's pregnant as much as it's the way she became pregnant. And what the hell was that Leyla crap? Where do I even begin? One, if she is so in love with Patrick, no way in hell could she just sleep with him with no strings. Number two, why the hell would Patrick sleep with her after what he learned earlier (i.e. Robin informed him that Leyla really fell hard for him). In his defense, I can understand why he doesn't get that part because I don't even find it believable. I think it might be the actress, but what I don't understand is, how difficult is it to pretend to be in love with Jason Thompson? I'm sure I could find a couple of people willing to take her place if need be.

Anyway, after Robin draws Patrick a picture, don't you think he would have the good sense to know he's going to hurt the nurse if he does sleep with her again? By the way, what the hell with all the tearing down of Patrick, people? I'm convinced that one of the execs got pissy that Patrick became a popular character once he stopped being an ass. So to punish the viewers for not being "trained" (you know who I'm talking about) the execs/writers are turning Patrick into another misogynistic asshole. Like we need more of those on soaps or in the world.

I don't care how many times you show me this:
Nothing will make the ridiculous regression of Patrick's character okay.

Thirdly, why would you, dear writers, have them hook up (God, just seeing it in print makes me want to vomit) when you know Robin is pregnant and Patrick could be infected? This sucks on all levels because a) this means Leyla will be involved even more with this storyline (because she'll have to wait for HIV tests) or b) the writers will once again dismiss these medical facts and spit in the face of a socially/medically relevant issue. Either way this blows.

Something else that pissed me off was the temporary Jax replacement. I loved that he called Carly out on her Jason worship, but why couldn't Ingo be the one to do it? I mean, the dude's had to deal with the various incarnations from the start and if someone's going to start handing out anti-Carly lines, I think he's earned the right to deliver them. Would it really have been that hard to schedule those scenes for when Ingo came back? I mean, was all that crap at Jake's with Jerry really necessary? The only reason I even remember those scenes is because of Tracy's fantastic line:

Tracy: When God created Eve, he should've quit while he was ahead.

Ha! If we could have kept that line and delivered it somewhere else minus all the fake Jax crap, I would have been happy, but we all know that's not allowed.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the worst line of the week which goes to Trevor hands down:

Trevor: Hmm. Surprise, surprise. You must be much better in bed than I thought you were.
Pardon me while I shudder in disgust. That is so not something any parent should ever, EVER say to their child. It's just wrong. Something else that's wrong, is if Ric Hearst is leaving the show, not that I would blame him. Ric stopped by to see Alexis (who is now hilariously chummy with Diane) to say goodbye the girls because he was leaving town to think. I love my Rexis scenes, but I am a little concerned with all the recent exits that this was yet another. Here's hoping this is simply a winter vacation.

Someone I could use a little less of is Lulu. This week she was still kidnapped and while I know it's difficult to stay fashionable when imprisoned in an old, dank castle, but what the hell is up with the side bun? Whoever is unleashing all this sideways hairstyles needs to stop. It's not trendy it's annoying and I demand that is cease. There are other ways of getting revenge on cast members that don't include permanently scarring the audience in the process.

Alright, once again Lulu needed rescuing and Logan, Spinelli and Johnny showed up to save the day. Johnny found an injured Lulu first and after some arguing she shoved the mobster who fell on top of an old sword. Then she says she's sorry. Dude, he's got a sword sticking out of his leg. I don't think "sorry" is going to cut it (pun accidentally intended). After that little disaster, the two of them stumble into an old closet full of rum. Then they proceed to get drunk and makeout because that's what you do when you're injured and trying to escape your captors. With plans like that, no wonder she's so easy to snatch.

Rounding out this week's column is Sonny and Kate.
I like the idea of a high school sweetheart and returning home because it's very relatable, but I feel like their conversation has been on a loop for months now. Maybe that will stop soon because at the end of the week Sonny proposed. I might have been more moved if they guy didn't change women as frequently as he changes his socks. I can imagine his thought process building up to this decision.

Hmm...it's January. Time to get married again. Carly's already married and there isn't enough time left in the month to get her divorced. I know. I'll ask the next woman who agrees to dinner with me. Sweet, it's Kate!

What? That's how it seemed to me. I'm just saying.

Thanks to laurieluvsliason for the caps.